godessalthena
|
::
2023 17 September :: 1.41pm
everything is going so well
so why do I feel my soul imploding
my whole life no one ever wanted to listen to me, trust me, have faith in me.
how do I earn those things? I am at the end of my rope.
1 brave word |
leave a comment
|
|
godessalthena
|
::
2023 6 September :: 8.11am
my husband and I have been trying to conceive
I've had at least 2 chemical pregnancies. it's been heartbreaking, and difficult not to think there's something wrong with me.
but since I am considered geriatric in terms of womanhood, it will probably be a very difficult journey.
not sure I'm ready, but my husband is the most amazing man in the world and with his support I feel like I can accomplish anything.
1 brave word |
leave a comment
|
|
godessalthena
|
::
2023 19 August :: 7.01am
it's all burning down.
and I'm going up in smoke right with it.
I can't express the depths like I can't express these breaths.
I am a fundamentally damaged person, and maybe I'm broken completely?
what good am I, anyway..?
2 brave words |
leave a comment
|
|
godessalthena
|
::
2023 24 July :: 2.45pm
been sitting back and watching the flux of the universe
ebbing and flowing, bringing bounty and ruin
through the chaos, bubbles form in the matter
sparking a sense of organization and meaning once lost on me
despite the constant flood of bad news and terroristic acts, my heart has found a raft in his love
weather beaten and storm torn, I still feel stunning and resolute when his baby blues rest lovingly upon my corpulent frame
I just want to be better every day to make him proud of me, because I want to be proud of me, because I believe in the him that believes in me
we are all living on a spiral, and instead of out, I am lovingly spiraling up
leave a comment
|
|
godessalthena
|
::
2023 7 July :: 2.03pm
:: Mood: ecstatic
I am now a Mrs! we eloped on Tuesday because the small group we invited to the ceremony started getting very... selfish? so we just did our own thing. we had sushi at our favorite restaurant and everyone got along and had a beautiful time.
the fire pit and patio are huge successes!! we have had 4 fires so far, and I just can't get enough toasted marshmallows. our butterfly garden is starting to really take off, but some critter keeps coming in at night trying to fuck shit up!
also finally losing weight. my last day at work is the 14th and I already feel like this huge weight is lifted off my back....
next on the agenda... buy a house so my disabled friend can live in it and get out of the shitty section 8 housing complex she is stuck in. this has been a dream for a very long time, and my partner is completely on board with the idea. having an actual partner who always meets me at least halfway is just... remarkable.
I didn't think life could feel this good. I just hope it's not short lived. I know this marriage will take a lot of work, but he's worth it.
I could just pop, so happy.
3 brave words |
leave a comment
|
|
godessalthena
|
::
2023 26 May :: 10.27pm
life is a rollercoaster ride that you are either too short or too tall for.
my heart is the fullest it's ever been. I finally feel optimistic for the future. I finally see there's a light at the end of the tunnel.
plans for a hummingbird garden and a fire pit are coming together. the big day is set for the end of next month. I can't believe this is real life. I feel stupid for waiting so long to reach out, but I love the whirlwind I'm wrapped up in.
1 brave word |
leave a comment
|
|
godessalthena
|
::
2023 6 March :: 5.14pm
I hate these chronic feelings of being completely unimportant
leave a comment
|
|
godessalthena
|
::
2023 1 March :: 10.35am
I am just a piece of shitty trash in the Pacific ocean garbage patch
1 brave word |
leave a comment
|
catatonicsean
|
::
2023 20 January :: 8.56pm
:: Mood: morose
:: Music: Peter Schilling - Major Tom (Coming Home)
I am divorced, reduced to smoldering rubble, and I want to kill myself. I am beyond consolation, in spite of having a girlfriend who loves me, I feel small and that no one will notice me being dead.
2 brave words |
leave a comment
|
|
godessalthena
|
::
2022 23 December :: 3.44am
I keep dreaming of us living in different places together.
I dream that you are all torn up, that you're broken and sad.
I hurt for you, with you. I do miss you.
"you once called me forever, now you still can't call me back"
leave a comment
|
|
godessalthena
|
::
2022 26 November :: 1.35pm
https://youtu.be/iWG6apzIWAk
leave a comment
|
|
godessalthena
|
::
2022 17 November :: 4.11pm
when every song puts me into your point of view
each tune is a tune i wish I could share with you
but you had to go fuck it all up
leave a comment
|
|
godessalthena
|
::
2022 16 October :: 7.24pm
words are cheap.
anyone can say "I love you", but not many can show it
did you ever love me?
leave a comment
|
|
godessalthena
|
::
2022 7 September :: 4.25pm
:: Mood: pensive
When destiny calls you
You must be strong (you gotta be strong)
I may not be with you
But you've got to hold on
They'll see in time
I know
We'll show them together
1 brave word |
leave a comment
|
|
