goodbye
|
::
2017 11 February :: 3.40pm
Headaches starting. I need iron pills to balance my lack of it this week. Every time it's the same thing - migranes all week long. I need to also get a cast iron skillet. I think i'll make that my plan this weekend.
I also need to clean and get my taxes done. I always get so nervous when I have to take care of them but procrastinate because they suck. Some things make me very much dislike being an adult.
I'm going to talk with my parents when they come over next weekend. I'm getting ill thinking about it. But it's something I have to do... this weekend anniversary will be particularly rough.
I can't wait until it's all over and I can just relax and be myself. Maybe I should take some time off during the transition... I could use some days for rejouvenation and mental health. All this vilification is killing me.
I wonder if I'll ever find something good again.
leave a comment
|
godessalthena
|
::
2017 9 February :: 3.25pm
we presented our solution and options for moving forward today to all the big wigs
despite our dry run the hour before hand being really rough, we really pulled through at the end
while we were derailed a few times by the attendees that were not the intended audience, the top 2 executives for our department were very impressed and happy with what was presented
it feels so fucking good to have this milestone done
in just 30 days we solved a problem that's been plaguing the boss man for 4 years.
we are the fucking kings and queens of promise
leave a comment
|
|
goodbye
|
::
2017 7 February :: 11.45am
Punch me in the gut just to see if I can breathe.
I'm contemplating something drastic. This choice will affect my whole life.
But I can't keep going on like this.
leave a comment
|
|
godessalthena
|
::
2017 7 February :: 7.34am
going dairy free for 3 weeks taught me my body hates dairy
day 2 of gluten free and it feels like i've been eating nothing but milk and cheese
fml
leave a comment
|
|
goodbye
|
::
2017 5 February :: 10.52pm
I need to change my life.
I am a puppet following a script others have written for my one-man show. The social and societal obligations are overwhelming me and I feel like I'm on the edge.
As I am is not enough for anyone.
I can't be who everyone wants me to be.
leave a comment
|
|
goodbye
|
::
2017 3 February :: 9.13pm
OMG I fucking LOVE Lu so much! She is everything. I am especially stoked for her finishing all my sentences and getting my movie quotes XD
Friends are such treasures <3
leave a comment
|
|
godessalthena
|
::
2017 2 February :: 8.16pm
im mad
but i got some really cute clothes today
im most excited for the hello kitty dress with strawberries and a lace peter pan collar. it is so cute i could die
leave a comment
|
|
godessalthena
|
::
2017 1 February :: 10.06pm
how do you decide when you're ready for kids?
now that it might actually be obtainable, i am getting very cold feet.
my track record is full of bad decisions... is this pontientally one more?
am i parent material?
leave a comment
|
|
godessalthena
|
::
2017 30 January :: 2.57pm
i watched a documentary on netflix yesterday called HOLY HELL and i have to admit it struck a strong resonance with me.
there's one part where they are talking to one of the Buddhafield members and she was crying and just repeating "we trusted you".
and deep inside me i felt this overwhelming sympathy. i know exactly how that feels. when you entrust your whole being to another human. you give them all your love, faith, patience, service, time and energy. and in return they abuse this gift, and they warp it to satisfy their narcissistic megalomania. and you are left feeling empty, hollow and so utterly betrayed.
and the road to recovery is a long one. we all want to be loved and accepted and included so badly, that we allow others to treat us like refuse. we let them take from us to help them feel full, while depleting ourselves. while they full well know there is a hole in their heart and they will never be full.
but they just keep taking until someone finally wakes up.
and it hurts.
but we are not alone in our pain.
leave a comment
|
|
goodbye
|
::
2017 30 January :: 2.16pm
Fuck Donald Trump.
leave a comment
|
|
godessalthena
|
::
2017 27 January :: 6.43am
coheed & cambria for my birthday??? yes please!
4 brave words |
leave a comment
|
|
goodbye
|
::
2017 26 January :: 9.15pm
Life is overwhelming.
My family is the basis for my understanding in love. Not God or religion. Not any school education. Not any damned Disney movie. I love my family and know true, unconditional love because they taught me what it was by loving me. I would do anything for them and vice versa.
This is my support. This is my comfort. This is everything I have ever searched for. I just wish it were easier to have closer. If my brother ever chose to move back to Spokane, I would go there in a minute. I'm contemplating going back to be closer to my parents anyways. Sometimes I feel like the glue.
I don't know what I was doing for my adolescent years... I wish I spent all my time with my family. And Anna and Lizzie of course because they're honorary family. I just wish I could go back, knowing to charish every day as they came. Running to the General Store beyond my Grammie's house for sweets with my brother. Family trips to forests and lakes. Max and Nancy's cabin and The Beatles and our walks and hummingbirds on the porch. Christmas mornings when my parents would surprise us with so many toys our heads would spin. And so much more. Especially the group hugs...
Every waking moment of my life has been made better by my family and I would never trade them for anything. I make sure they know it every damn day, too. My beautiful family.
leave a comment
|
|
godessalthena
|
::
2017 25 January :: 9.22pm
adrift and not so at peace
i don't know what i want.
leave a comment
|
|
godessalthena
|
::
2017 25 January :: 6.32am
im sad for the world and america.
like being around a train wreck and being forced to watch.
leave a comment
|
|
goodbye
|
::
2017 21 January :: 7.18pm
I always think of all these whitty retorts that are super shitty to say to people. But then I'm too much of a weenie to say anything. I wish I was more of a bitch sometimes. I wish I had nads like Kayla. She's such a boss.
leave a comment
|
|