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godessalthena

:: 2016 18 July :: 5.35am

I want to grab you, shake you violently and scream at you


you are good enough
you are incredibly skilled
THE ONLY THING HOLDING YOU BACK IS YOURSELF

stop crying over the way things have been
start making things be what you want them to be



YOU are the one driving
YOU are in control of how you react to the shit show that is life

YOU have to stand up and walk

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godessalthena

:: 2016 15 July :: 7.31am

we can get better cause we're not dead yet.



but what if there's no better and this is the best it'll ever be.



I have a good job, a man, food, entertainment, nature.. so why do I still feel this void inside of me.

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godessalthena

:: 2016 14 July :: 7.30am

so... what happens next?

write your own story. you're the heroine, you're the winner. write history.

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goodbye

:: 2016 13 July :: 10.26pm

This evening I felt a strong longing for who I was back in high school. I always felt myself when I dressed in black and had zippers and eyeliner and wasn't just like all the sheep around me. I find myself listening to my favorite bands from back then, yearning to be back with my friends at the LAN or the mall, playing video games, wearing Tripp, not giving any fucks...

Maybe I should try dressing like that once more and see how I feel. I could find something at Hot Topic for sure... may take some navigating around all the fandom now-a-days but hopefully... hopefully...

Plus, I still have 1 dress left that may still fit me in my closet in Spokane. I'll have to check it out and do the whole thing - the clothes, the makeup, the accessories, the playlist... and then maybe go on a DDR excersion. Yes?

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godessalthena

:: 2016 8 July :: 4.57pm

oh god come quickly I can feel the earth beneath my feet

I'm feeling badly, it's not an attempt at decency

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goodbye

:: 2016 5 July :: 9.00pm

"Non, je ne suis la belette de personne."

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godessalthena

:: 2016 4 July :: 7.58pm

happy 240th bday America

who knows how many more you'll have

better enjoy them now


as a kid it was always so much more magical

now it's just another day

no fireworks or picnics

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godessalthena

:: 2016 1 July :: 8.31pm

the constant need to prove my capabilities is tiresome. as a woman I feel as though I must always be at my best, always have to prove I'm worth something

i hate that I was born with a vagina. I hate everything that comes with it. that feeling that you'll never quite be good enough, even if you are the best.

so some of us give up.. and are harshly judged. there is no winning. there is no victory. there is no headway. but it's a non issue. we are second class citizens, and our struggles aren't real. they are just some form of hysteria

so get back into the kitchen, kick off those shoes, you're gonna be making sandwiches for a while yet ladies.

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goodbye

:: 2016 29 June :: 4.33pm

I just tried on an Oculus.

Holy fucking shit.

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godessalthena

:: 2016 29 June :: 2.23pm

and just like that, a friendship ends.

why do I keep becoming friends with psychological vampires.

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godessalthena

:: 2016 25 June :: 10.10pm

I just want to fucking bawl my eyes out

why do I fuckin ruin everything

why are people so fuckin weird

why is this a fucking issue every single time

I just want to be normal, and that was robbed from me

I will always be weird inside I will always be lame.

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godessalthena

:: 2016 21 June :: 5.35pm

Where was your heart
When we needed it most?
Live in denial
And I'll be your ghost
There is nothing to let go
Only time will let you know
If you're worth anything
and you know then
That I'm giving up way too early
Let the axis turn you free
And destroy everything you love

The world looks better when you're falling
Grace to comfort enough to crawling
Divided we must
Pray for the broken
No one could fix us
We are, we'll always be
The wronged

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godessalthena

:: 2016 17 June :: 11.54pm

I wish I had never been born

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goodbye

:: 2016 16 June :: 12.33pm

Are peace and understanding really that impossible? I feel like it's really not that hard to picture a world without violence. If I can withstand punching someone for cutting me off in traffic, cannot two enemies learn to just agree to disagree? I get feeling strongly about something. I get that. But don't be so selfish. Don't expect other people to agree with you.

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godessalthena

:: 2016 16 June :: 7.56am

things are never easy and simple. and if they appear to be, you will likely end up paying dearly for it in the future.

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