godessalthena
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2015 18 April :: 3.40pm
:: Mood: amused
I got a new job! it's still with the same company, but it's out of the wretched department im in now. it's a step back but I'm not losing any money and my schedule is essentially the same. but it's doing a lot of form work and customer service, and it also is a little bit of coverage counseling, which im a little excited about. trying not to be too much of an insurance geek... but I do think I'm gonna try and retire at liberty mutual. thats my long term goal curently.
so to celebrate the new job, and just the fact is finally fucking friday ", zoe came over and we got a Lyft downtown and started at mootsy's. we saw a guy who looked like a weird version of the dude, with a walrus and an elephant tattooed on his knees. then we went to luckys which is where I've gone the last 3 times I've gone out. and each time has been completely amazing. the crowd there is just so random, there's no real demographic. and people watching there is fabulous!!! and then you can fucking shake your booty to awoke bad ass music. the dj's mix is just so fantastic, it has modern club music and a healthy mix of 90s and some remixes. and everyone is nice and smiley and friendly. and there are some UBER dancers there. I introduced myself to one, the first one, the was so fresh, and a gorgeous dark skin tone. he said people called him token. he was so gorgoeus. then there was another dark tasty man who could move like a menace! he was having a dance off with this little white dude and he was holding his own, but very loose and messy looking. it was the coolest thing I have seen in a spell! it was so fun!
but then Zoe's boo and his posse showed up, Trevor Erin (guy, went to LC, graduated in 05) Allan and Matt. T is a sweetie, really cool dude, him and Erin are learning sing language together and have secret conversations. I'm thinking of taking some classes.. anyway Matt is a raging asshole who apparently has a very small heart of gold. but him and Erin and Allan were all just being assholes, so I go outside to have a smoke, finish one slowly, wait like 5 minutes and this girl shows up asking for a light, so I smoke another with her. she was adorkable. total sweetheart, very real person. I enjoyed talking to her, I kinda think we went to high school together but I haven't checked. anyway eventually zoe comes out in the middle of the smoke, and we sign a petition, and I go back inside, night progresses with a TON of booty shaking and Jell-O shots and booze (and water!!). t leaves with his crew to dunkles? or something, it opened a few weeks ago, and we meet them there, and Matt is enraged we are there, he fucking hates zoe for some mysterious reason. he was a douche. anyway we have a drink there, then go get hot dogs. zoe has peed twice in public at this point! we are chillin on the corner shooting shit. we get into a debate about how joking about rhianna getting hit by Chris brown is more offensive than one about the World Trade Center terrorist attack. and me and Erin see going at it. I was seeing red most of the night and this was just the perfect time to argue for arguments sake. it was nice to feel like a bitch! and a smart bitch. Allan and t were trying to keep the peace "oh they aren't really bad guys, blah blah". bullshit!
so I go with zoe to pee behind the umpqua bank (which is the bank where a and m work) and it was fun, but I got pee on my boot... anyway, these two cute girls come up and ask for a light, and they are toasted. one is really friendly and extroverted and the other was kinda bitter and introverted. the extrovert was hitting on me pretty hard, and then I impressed her by talking about my major because she was there from MN giving a speech on some business concepts. I probably could have gone with her to her hotel that night, or at least made out, but I was too chickenshit. I need to be more aggressive I think, if I ever want to get anywhere with women. I know the body language, I just get scared of that rejection if I'm wrong. (I haven't ever been wrong though, so I'm not sure what the problem is). Allan drove me and Zoe home and we hung out, finally going to bed at 4.
it was a fun night. could have been better but I had a good time nonetheless! we ran into the tattoo guy outside luckys and he was an interesting guy. weird but funny.
I'm excited for this new adventure at work. I start in two weeks. five months of training. and I think I'll have my favorite boss again!! and she'll be in training with me. I feel like I'm betraying my team members, but I need to be happy, and this job is just too sad for me.
5 brave words |
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godessalthena
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2015 12 April :: 9.42pm
I don't want to go to bed..
this birthday was enjoyable. friday I had dinner with friends at my favorite sushi place, then we went to lucky's. Samie even danced! it was just me, Samie, Zoe and mike there, and we met up with kim and her group.. we ran into this dog, I think I make him insecure.. not sure haha anyway, it was good. saturday I bought a new piece, super rad double perk set up. named her thumbelina. went to bed early, then chilled with mike until he had to leave.
then I just sat and enjoyed music and third rock from the sun til me sister came. quiet evening with my family.
everything was so delicious. and everyone was so sweet. I couldn't have asked for more. it was beautiful out, and it made me happy
2 brave words |
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goodbye
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2015 12 April :: 3.12pm
Fuck today and the horse it road in on...
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catatonicsean
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2015 8 April :: 10.26pm
:: Mood: ambivalent
:: Music: Traci Lords - Control (Juno Reactor instrumental)
Not entirely sure what I think or feel. Not much to be said, either.
How are you?
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godessalthena
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2015 6 April :: 9.48pm
rainbow hair for birthday... check
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godessalthena
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2015 4 April :: 10.46am
haven't been hung over in so long I forgot how good of a cure Mary Jane is
bjorne has da cutest face. I used to hate(daikirai!!) black dogs when they get white faved, but he has turned me
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godessalthena
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2015 3 April :: 11.46pm
:: Mood: druuuuuunk
do the humpty hump
groove is in the heart
and all I want is a tongue on my pussy
1 brave word |
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goodbye
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2015 1 April :: 5.54pm
The best parts about woohu are:
1. Complete freedom to be yourself.
2. Small, supportive community of friends.
3. No adds.
4. Fast load time for lack of all that extra junk.
5. Able to be colorfully customized to your liking.
1 brave word |
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godessalthena
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2015 30 March :: 7.55pm
a twisted serpent called nostalgia slipped into my stomach. i feel it churning inside me. happy memories project on a dirty screen, tinted rose to match the drapes.
as i stalk him on facebook, i grapple with my gut in a fervent battle for sovereignty, as my heart sinks heavy with sympathy, and if i knew he was home i would consider sending him a note. should i feel repulsed at myself? should i just forgive myself and go to bed early? my body yearns for his, my eyes are thirsty for is skin and lips and teeth.
do i miss him because i know i can't have him? or do i miss him because i'm desperately lonely?
i just want to destroy something beautiful, sometimes.
2 brave words |
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godessalthena
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2015 26 March :: 8.16pm
the smell of spring gently creeping through my sliding door. always reminds me of being in love.
I'm worried I'm too jaded to ever feel love like my memories again.
it's difficult to trust people.
1 brave word |
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godessalthena
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2015 26 March :: 8.20am
words cannot do justice in expressing my loathsome feelings about doctors offices.
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godessalthena
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2015 25 March :: 5.33am
I've had either food poison or a stomach flu since Sunday. I missed monday, half of tuesday, and will be missing today from work.. I ruined my sheets this morning.
I don't feel as sick as my body is telling me.. and now all my sheets and towels are dirty. my house smells like shit. my dogs are disgusting.
I just wanna be better :(
1 brave word |
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godessalthena
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2015 21 March :: 1.33pm
I feel so stupid when I wonder if I should have shaved my legs.
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godessalthena
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2015 20 March :: 10.46pm
my shirt got here!! and some awesome stickers! one went on my computer!! the other night find its home on bitchelle haha her first sticker.
I'll post pictures soon!!
1 brave word |
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spud
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2015 20 March :: 11.48pm
I guess I'm in a band again
here are some rough tracks we recorded from last practice:
Tune #1
Tune #2
they want to do all original stuff, so gigging is a possibility in the as yet very distant future. it takes a long time to produce enough original material to fill 4 sets. but the upshot is, i get to make up all my parts from scratch. which is awesome.
honestly it just feels good to play again. especially with solid musicians who have been doing it for awhile.
so it's a total bummer that i can't play right now because of my knee. the recovery is going to be long. but hopefully the payoff is worth it. 30 years ago they would have handed me a cane and said, "enjoy this for the rest of your life," so i guess i shouldn't complain.
in other news, it was exactly one year ago from this very moment that i took my last drink of alcohol. i'm celebrating tomorrow, from the couch. i'll be going to the speaker at calvary tomorrow night, but i think i might wait until home group on tuesday to get my chip. i don't know, we'll see.
on the one hand, it's hard to believe it's been a year already. on the other, it feels like a year is a long fucking time, and a lot has certainly changed - mostly for the better. i guess the pit i was in wasn't exactly difficult to improve upon. geographically, however, tahoe is far superior to grand rapids. the city is convenient. i still really miss the mountains, though. they spoke to my soul in a way that i never would have imagined, and now that they're gone, i can sense that something is missing.
oh well. god has a plan, and it's probably smart of him to not let me in on all the details, lest i get ahead of myself and spoil it for everyone. i'm good at that. so, i just ask him to keep feeding it to me in chunks small enough that i'm not as likely to choke on them.
i'm good at that too.
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