<center>Grace Redefined

:: 2003 12 November :: 11.21pm

?????-...how did you remember this email adress?
me-how could i forget?
?????-does that mean you still love me?
me-no. scars don't have to be bleeding for you to see them.
?????-like that song...i hate this shit.
me-funny, she said about the same thing just now.
?????- and who is she?
me-no one you know
?????-no, tell me, now. did you find a nice girlfriend or something?
(insert fifteen lines of conversation here)
me-because you have no idea.
?????-yeah, whatever. i know pain. i know you, and your pain in a nutshell. you're pains one true definition. you bring it on all that cross your path, but then, i told you that once, didn't i???
me-you're wrong
?????-lmao, your a fuck paul, a complete fuck. whatever...have fun with terry or whoever. don't fuck her to hard, shollow bastard.
(three minutes pass)
me-her name is tori...

she wasn't signed on when i said that....i couldn't type.

5 have a little | faith

:: 2003 12 November :: 11.10pm

i'm sorry, but if you had any idea...i won't deny it would be that way for anyone else...but can you think of what has happened as a result of this fallen world....the world inside my head...

:: 2003 12 November :: 10.23pm
:: Mood: infuriated

mergz faces mom
humantiy is slipping away, this is sick, just fucking sick. i don't feel like posting it, so i'll call.

:: 2003 12 November :: 2.07am

i'm free, soup dragons. i have to remember that.

:: 2003 12 November :: 1.40am
:: Music: blood and roses, smithereens

hell knows what.
yeah. i need to get some sleep tonight. g'night people. but first, i feel and urge to say something, but i have almost nothing to say. last night we watched the first final fantasy movie and the entire first season of family guy (it is a bad day to be a sperm!). we played eternal darkness, sonic battle, torok (that game is sooo bad-ass!!!), and metroid-prime, along with tony hawk underground and finally, smash bros meley. HAHAHA!!! today by smashing pumpkins just came on accu radio! i love this song. i need to here how he playes the bridge...wow, he playes it slower, no wonder i couldn't fit all those chords. the guy that wrote these tabs is a moron!!! "pink ribbon scars, that never forget, i tried so hard to cleanze these regrets, my angel wings, were bruised and restrained, my belly stings." *goes and kills tab-wrighter with a fifty cal' pistol* yes, i want me a desert eagle with a kick big enough to bust my arm. ah man, it's over, tie for beddy buy. song currently playing: blue monday buy new order. i'll finish this song and go to bed. 10:43 P.M.

later,
Paul

:: 2003 12 November :: 1.37am
:: Mood: sleepy
:: Music: the globe, big audio dynamite II

quin's proposition
quin said i didn't even have to ask...

:: 2003 12 November :: 1.31am
:: Mood: happyishable, oh look, happyishable takes up exact
:: Music: devils haircut, beck

don't be like me...don't forget how to cry. be stronger than that.
mechelle said i couldn't cry because of extreme depression, and that that's probably why i space out so much. she thinks my introspectivity and depression were connected in a way. she decided that i wasn't bi-polar though *cries*...i wish i were insane...oh well. jesus. i wonder if tori would kill me if i did... would you?

:: 2003 11 November :: 8.35pm

megan called...the past really won't leave me be, will it? hehehe...all night replaying that spand of about fifteen seconds in my head and giggling like a fucktard to myself as i felt butterflies in my stomach...quin was so pissed though, and pat was just like"dude, what the hell is wrong with you?"

2 have a little | faith

:: 2003 11 November :: 8.32pm
:: Mood: insane/gitty/happy/stupid/about to go to church an

YES!!! hehehe...-smiles-...that's what she said..."yes"

:: 2003 9 November :: 5.04pm
:: Music: today, smashing pumpkins

"pidgeons go 'kpff'!!!"
"pink ribbon scares, that never forget. i tried to wash away, all these regrets. my angel wings were brused and restrained, my belly stings..." never IM me, don't ever call, i'm going to a different church...i would have thought that two years of silence would have taught you not to talk to me....i'm sorry, i don't want ot hurt you, but this is a new age for me, i moved on...i love tori now, can't you see that? that place you tired to fill is her's. and yeah, keep your ideas about her looks and abilities to understand to yourself...to be honest, i think she's beautiful, and she is the only one that does understand..."the only thing more precious than life is the person you choose to live it with"...he was right, and i chose tori, not you...

16 have a little | faith

:: 2003 7 November :: 7.43pm

hmm....i'm asking her as soon as we finish this part of our conversation....i can't...i can't ask her....this is so much more important...

:: 2003 6 November :: 10.28am

NOOOO!!!! I JUST WROTE A HUGE ENTRY AND THE COMPUTER DELETED IT!!! stupid thing *kicks it*. yeah, XP has alot of glitches...well, i need to take a shower....fair well chidlets....

:: 2003 6 November :: 1.44am
:: Mood: tired/ happy
:: Music: unplugged NIrivana album in the background.

i'm so hopelessly in , love...
i'm happy, but worried...i worry that she hates me for some reason.....what am i thinking? she loves me...maybe i'll go find a flower, yeah, a flower, in the middle of fucking winter, right...yeah, whatever...love you tori, g'night. i love all of you....OH!!! TORI!!! YOUR MOM IS THE ONE I FOUND! SHE'S A MOM THAT DOESN'T THINK I'M CUTE!!!i don't think...lol. g'night.