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Dried Tears... not in vain

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swimfan14

:: 2005 26 December :: 8.05pm

I'm seriously the worst minesweeper player in history. Ever.

6 moos | someone say moo


swimfan14

:: 2005 26 December :: 6.25pm

I don't know why but I just have a bad feeling that you lied to me and I hate being lied to more than anything.The worst part about being lied to is knowing that I wasn't worth the truth and if thats the case then we have some problems. I don't even know, maybe, just maybe I'm wrong but right now that seems highly doubtful.

TEN FIRSTS
First Best Friend: Chloe
First Screen Name: I don't remember the very first one but one from millions of years ago was cutiepie15032
First Pet: Jackson (Dog)
First Piercing: When I was like 11 months old
First Crush: Curtis, my little boyfriend when I was four
First CD: Like I remember
First Word: Probably Mommy or Daddy
First Real Love: I can't really say that I have been in love
First Stuffed Animal: An elephant named Ellie

NINE LASTS
Last Alcoholic Beverage: A sour apple martini and then today at Olive Garden my sister told me to drink some of my moms drink (I don't know what she was drinking) and I thought she meant drink the whole thing but apparently I was just supposed to take a sip of it and I drank the whole thing and wow that was a mistake ;)
Car Ride: Coming home from shopping today
Last Movie Seen: I don't remember but I watched Laguna Beach this morning if that counts
Last Phone Call: Jessica (were talking on the phone right this moment and it's not going well at all)
Last CD Played: Taking Back Sunday
Last Bubble Bath: Like last Saturday
Last Time You Cried: Last night AND the day before AND this morning..wow I sound like a basketcase but each time was for a differen't and good reason.

EIGHT 'HAVE YOU EVER...'S
Have you ever dated one of your best friends: Yeah but it was just a summer fling
Have you ever been arrested: Nope
Have you ever skinny dipped: Yeah in California lol
Have you ever been on TV: Yeah on the news here but that doesn't count because here sucks but I was on National Tv when I was in LA
Have you ever kissed someone and then regretted it: Oh quite a few times
Have you ever cheated: Thats just a sketchy question to ask
Have you ever spent more than 5 hours online: Oh yes
Have you ever cried yourself to sleep: Yeah and it's not exactly fun

SEVEN THINGS YOU'RE WEARING
1. Tank Top
2. Jeans
3. Earings
4. Sweatshirt
5. Socks
6. Necklace
7. Livestrong Bracelet

SIX THINGS YOU'VE DONE TODAY
1. Watched Laguna Beach
2. Bought 5 cds and lots of clothes and a purse
3. Ate at Olive Garden
4. Fought with someone
5. Drank
6. When we were walking out of Olive Garden this car almost hit us and he was supposed to stop for us but he didn't so I hit his car really hard with all my shopping bags haha

FIVE FAVORITE THINGS IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER
1. California
2. Modeling
3. The O.C.
4. Music
5. Clothes/Shoes/Purses

FOUR PEOPLE YOU CAN TELL [ALMOST] ANYTHING TO IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER
1. Chloe
2. Lisa
3. Mishy and Stacy
4. Veronica (well before her memory loss)
(that was five but I don't really care)

THREE THINGS YOU HOPE TO HAVE IN THE FUTURE
1. Love
2. Career (be famous)
3. Kids

TWO THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE
1. Go to where I'm from (ITALY!!) lol
2. Go on a road trip across America. Every state. ( I agree with Jordan on this whole little thing)

ONE SECRET
1. I'm scared to be in love.

3 moos | someone say moo


swimfan14

:: 2005 26 December :: 12.13am

I seriously can't believe my friends sometimes. Okay let's just say one of my friends in particular. I thought we were supposed to be in this whole thing together but she just proved that it's now a competion to see who is better. Yeah well we'll see about that now wont we? Sounds like someones a little jealous to me. Whatever. I'm going to go cry now and be upset like I can be because this is our first fight over the dumbest thing ever.

3 moos | someone say moo


Jacqui-Chan

:: 2005 25 December :: 10.38pm
:: Mood: lonely
:: Music: The Aviator

I am the source of most my pain... and it's all for a boy.
It's true ya' know. I cause it all. We fight, we yell, he acts like an idiot, and I act like a witch. Sometimes I wonder why I don't hate him... sometimes I wonder how we made it this far. I need him. That's why. I hate this feeling. Like somehow I'm helpless without him. I want him to do all he used to for me. Make me feel like I'm on top of the world. That's just not how it is now-a-days. He's always so distant.

He told me to trust him today. "Just trust me!" he said, he refused to answer my question. I wondered how he could possibly expect me to trust him if he wouldn't answer a simple question. Answering it would've let me trust him... but still nothing. He said I didn't love him because I wouldn't just trust him... I just hung up the phone. If he wanted to think that it was fine... he was in the wrong, not me. We talked again later. I told him he had to give me time to trust him again. He already blew it numerous times... he can't just get my trust back overnight. He finally answered me... though the answer was not what I was looking for.

We continued talking a bit, and right before we were gonna' go he did it again. He ticked me off again! I told him that and he just hung up. I left him a message. Told him how I felt. The ball's in his court now... hopefully he doesn't blow it.

Should I really stay with a guy who causes me this much pain on a regular basis... just because I love him? I don't really know anymore. I do love him though, more than anything in the world. He's the first and only guy I've ever really loved. I just want him to feel that way, and I want him to show it. Because if he doesn't, this relationship is not going to last much longer.

someone say moo


TonyP.

:: 2005 25 December :: 8.46pm

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE
hope everone had a good day
i got my tattoo stuff and boy am i happy...didnt get much else but i dont mind really.
i got a new phone but it has my same number so if anyone who wants me to have there number please call me in the next couple of days or leave your number on here..thanks.

3 moos | someone say moo


swimfan14

:: 2005 24 December :: 10.21pm

MERRY CHRISTMAS! I LOVE EVERYONE!!!!!!!! says:
HEY BABY!!!!!!
MERRY CHRISTMAS! I LOVE EVERYONE!!!!!!!! says:
I MISS YOU!!!

I miss Danielle too. I feel so lost without seeing some of my friends.

MERRY CHRISTMAS! I LOVE EVERYONE!!!!!!!! says:
lol its ok...if anyone laughs ill be like "hey trailor bitches! thats one of my favorite people in the world over there face first in that snow drift with those little feet sticking straight up! so back the fuck off niggaaaaaaa!"

Haha, wow. She cracks me up.

1 moo | someone say moo


Jacqui-Chan

:: 2005 24 December :: 9.43pm
:: Mood: cold

Good news.
So, I finally got to hang out with JD last night. Unfortunetly that was ruined almost completely by a certain someones presence. I needed to buy a last minute Christmas gift, so I asked JD to go to Meijer with me after work. He said okay and was almost to my house when Matt called him. Apparently Matt and Ashley were bored, so JD invited them along... without asking me! I was kinda' annoyed since I hadn't seen JD in 2 days and barely all week. But of course, being the way I am, I just went with it. Then Matt started getting annoying... like REALLY annoying. I almost killed him! I had to spend from 8:30 to 11 o' clock at night with him... then finally got a little less than 15 minutes alone with JD. Well, kinda', my family was there too. Yea, I was not the happiest camper... all I wanted was some alone time with my love. But nope, couldn't have that.

Anyway, today I did get that alone time. Like, an hours worth... but still. We just chilled on his bed, watching bad TV and cuddling. I missed that like CRAZY. Yeppers... I was freakin' extatic!

So yea, that's basically it. Oh, except that New Years is still rocky with us. He and Matt were talking last night about doing exactly what I don't want them to do. Being as I'll be there most of the night though, I think I'll have a good chance of stopping it. At least stopping JD. The kid presses his luck with me WAY too much. But hey, it's his butt that'll be out the door if he keeps it up. Just sucks that I have to feel crappy too. I dunno', I'm not planning on us breaking up anytime soon or anything... I just want him to get a clue with some of this rebel without a cause stuff. It's just not my style.

Love to all, Happy Holidays!

someone say moo


swimfan14

:: 2005 24 December :: 10.56am
:: Mood: Tired
:: Music: A Decade Under The Influence- -Taking Back Sunday

Christmas Eve
This morning I had Christmas at my dads house. It was quite eventful. We didn't really go to bed at all. I slept for like 10 minutes here and there but other that that, we stayed up all night and we opened presents at 6am. Pretty crazy I know. I'm really tired and I want to go back to bed right now but I can't. I basically knew what I was getting the whole time anyways but I was still excited. My dad hates malls so I just went on websites and made wish lists and then he told me to just order what I wanted because he was afraid he would order the wrong thing so that basically defeats the whole "being suprised" purpose but oh well. I got a dell laptop and it's pretty awesome. I'm hoping that I will get internet for it in the next few weeks. I'm just rambling and I'm out of it so I'm going to go.

Smile cuz in one day......

2 moos | someone say moo


swimfan14

:: 2005 24 December :: 1.15am

I love him and I love her

mish is electric: when youre famous
mish is electric: youll get to meet him
mish is electric: and have his children

Yeah shes right. So right.

Read more..

13 moos | someone say moo


tonyp.

:: 2005 23 December :: 8.48pm

well i just got back from florida and i hated it, well florida was ok it just wasent for me....at all.
i sure am happy to be home for christmas and be with my family who love me.
well i no longer have one of my partners in my tattooing and airbrushing business. i guess he was just in it for the money and i he thinks hes going to make more money surving drinks.....well good for him. well ill always have ben hes not in it for the money hes in it as a friend and wants to do something with his talent and he told me he would. cant wait to see him
i missed erica soo much boy do i love her but everone wish her well because shes been dun dun duuun food poisined and its time for privite eye putt to find out whos trying to kill my baby
well everone have a merry christmas and a happy new year!!

7 moos | someone say moo


Iron-Cipher

:: 2005 23 December :: 12.27am

My name is Nick and I am the best person in the world.

Love,
Me.

5 moos | someone say moo


brokenmentality

:: 2005 22 December :: 12.58am

this is now friends only.

8 moos | someone say moo


joeydomina

:: 2005 22 December :: 10.47am




Your 2005 Song Is



Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day



"My shadow's the only one that walks beside me

My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating"



In 2005, you bummed everyone out. Like you care.

someone say moo


tonyp.

:: 2005 21 December :: 11.18pm

I love christmas, i miss the snow and im glad to be going back home tho i did enjoy the stay even tho most of my time here was spent in a car...i think im becoming clostrophobic.
i cant wait to sleep in my own bed with erica again, i miss her the most...i love her so much
once i get my tattoo stuff on christmas my process of learning to be a great tattoo artest begins and im ready for it.
i dont know what im gona do for presents for my family. ive been gone so long and i dont know how im gona get them anything tho i think they will love having me home.
im pretty upset that some of my future plans got screwed up but what can i do. i know me and ben will be fine. i cant wait to see him again.
i want to be cold again, i hate being hot.

1 moo | someone say moo


jacqui-chan

:: 2005 21 December :: 11.07pm
:: Mood: drained

Gratzi.
I love you guys. I was in the worst mood ever yesterday, and you guys saved me. I felt like hell. I think I just needed someone to tell me they love me and give me a hug. The hug I didn't get, but the I love you I did. I feel better now. And thanks Brie for the ass kickin' threat. Somehow that helps.

So yea. Have a Merry Christmas all. I love you... platonically. Chao.

-Jay-

1 moo | someone say moo


Jacqui-Chan

:: 2005 20 December :: 10.46pm
:: Mood: blank
:: Music: The keys of my keyboard beneath my fingers.

Fuck you.
Yea, I said it. I'm pissed as all hell right now. Nothing's going right, at least it doesn't seem like it. I just want everything to stop for two seconds... I need a break from life. I just want it to all stop. I want my boyfriend to act happy to see me, I want my dad to just back off and let me be, I want my sister to always be nice and not have so many witchy moments, I want my mom to not act like I never see her when I do, I want school to just go right, I want to not have to work so late all the time, I want to have JD hold me in his arms and let me cry on his shoulder, I want everyone to just be not so annoying, I want my grandma to stop thinking she knows everything, I want everything to just go right!!
Long list right? I know, but that's what I want. If you want to get me a Christmas present that'd be just perfect!
I know, I'm a whining, snobby, little bitch. I might be... but hey, karma right. So it had to have been coming.

Love you.

-Jay-

6 moos | someone say moo


miniredhawk

:: 2005 20 December :: 10.47pm




Your 2005 Song Is



Don't Phunk With My Heart by the Black Eyed Peas



"I always want you with me

I'll play Bobby and you'll play Whitney"



You were insanely in love in 2005 - and still might be!

someone say moo


bleedingsun

:: 2005 20 December :: 2.46pm
:: Music: Rise Against

The minute hand is too slow

I just bought Amanda's gift. I cannot disclose what it is because someone could tell her, and that wouldn't be fun.

I really think she'll like it. She said she wanted one a long time ago, but hasn't said anything about it recently. I hope the desire hasn't faded. Either way, it'll still be a surprise.

Oh, and, I got a sweet coat. I saw it and tried it on, and it was the only one left. So, my mom was like, "well, I guess you know one of your Christmas presents now." So I wore it to the other stores we went to.

On the way to Meijer on Plainfield today, there was this guy lying in the street with two cops over him, and at first we thought the guy had gotten hit by a car, so we were all like, sad for the guy. Then I noticed the cop putting handcuffs on him and pulling him up by them. I wasn't as sad after that.

I'm updating too much lately. I've got to stop.

1 moo | someone say moo


swimfan14

:: 2005 20 December :: 10.32am

Going shopping with Chloe and Lisa then I'm leaving for Detroit!! Be back on Friday!!

<3 Ashley


bleedingsun

:: 2005 20 December :: 12.34am
:: Mood: relaxed
:: Music: Funeral for a Friend - Hours

12:34

I just beat Devil May Cry on Normal Mode for the first time. I got it about 3 years ago. I cannot express the feeling of ecstacy that I recieved when I saw Dante and Trish flying away from the island. Ahhh...

And within that feeling, I started thinking about the rest of my life. Everything is going amazingly well. I have the best grades I've ever had during high school, an awesome girlfriend, and Christmas is in less than a week.

What more could a guy ask for?


It took a video game to put it all in perspective.

4 moos | someone say moo


swimfan14

:: 2005 19 December :: 5.22pm

Here are those pictures Stacy.

I love that little girl.


Read more..

6 moos | someone say moo


swimfan14

:: 2005 19 December :: 3.56pm

If I could take what I've learned from all the mistakes I've made, from all the pages I've turned, from the lost games that I've played. I'd be a better person for it, better than deciding to ignore. You mean so much to me. I want to make things right with you and me.


Scratch that idea.

someone say moo


swimfan14

:: 2005 19 December :: 12.57pm
:: Mood: pensive
:: Music: All-American Rejects-11:11pm(CST)

If I could take what I've learned from all the mistakes I've made, from all the pages I've turned, from the lost games that I've played. I'd be a better person for it, better than deciding to ignore. You mean so much to me. I want to make things right with you and me.


Chloe is up from Florida right now and she's coming over soon. I'm freaking out!!! I imagine were going to see, well just nevermind that.


bleedingsun

:: 2005 19 December :: 8.58am
:: Music: the Arcade Fire

an alternative route

Today is our first official day of vacation, since you can't technically count the weekend, or Friday because that was just a snow day.

Hopefully I can go to Josh's house. I just need a ride. My mom hates driving during the winter, (even if it isn't snowing and the roads are clear) so I doubt she'll take me.

Though Christmas is approaching fast, I don't find myself getting very excited. I'm sort of dreading Christmas day actually, because I have to go to a party at my Aunt's house, which I think is stupid. Christmas should be spent with your immediate family, not all of your relatives. Save that for another day, there is no reason to ruin Christmas.

someone say moo


brokenmentality

:: 2005 18 December :: 9.13pm

yesterday was the battle in detroit.

i must say it started out rough.. very rough. rough as in i said maybe 10 words the entire way there... thats 3 hours of 10 words people. no no no.. 3 hours of 10 words approximately 20 thousand break dance beats and lingo between 3 dance junkys that would be enough to drive any sane person to stab 3 forks and a spoon into their eye.

we got there 2 hours early. 6 to be exact.

the bboying was sposed to start at 8, NOTHING started (except for the cyphers) until 9:30 and 61syx didnt battle until 11:30. now tell me, how much fun would a breakdancers GIRLFRIEND have for 5 hours surrounded by a zillion talented dancers in a hispanic youth center? tons actually....! once we got there and started driving around detroit it was just really exciting (i had never been there before) we went to this burger king and all the workers were black and they were just so funny. just like the ann arbor battle.. im amazed at the way people can move their bodies. i had no idea how INSANE breakdancing can be. i've seen clips on keegans computer of other crews.. but when you actually SEE them... hooooolly wow.

61syx took prolly 8th out of 16 which is pretty good for a crew thats only been together for a year.. versus Chicago Tribe whos been together for 6. (they won by the way)

it was just incredible... very cool INDEED. but yeah.. so we didnt leave until about 1.. got lost trying to find the CORRECT high way, seems how there's 80 of them (ish).



but above all i love curling up and falling asleep after a long day with the person who just 'gets' me most.....and then waking up and eating chilli... lol. gotta love keegans mom.



yesterday before the battle we went to a distribution center in grand rapids for toys for tots (we being me, my beloved red flannel girls, emily secor, shannon potter, and keegan) and helped familys pick out toys for their children. we did this last year for red flannel, and loved it so much that we just HAD to go back this year. its the absolute best experience we had last year, and now we have another incredible memory. its such an eye opening experience. you meet all these people who are just so blessed to have an organization to help them out. all day i was waiting for that ONE person that would teach me the biggest lesson, that i would remember most. and finally i found her. she was middle age woman, very well kept and so incredibly nice. and when i greeted her she told me that this was her first time so she would be so happy if i walked her through it and helped her out (which we do for all the people anyway) when i told her that she could pick 3 toys per child and a stocking stuffer she was in disbelief and kept saying how wonderful it was. immediatly i noticed this incredible energy to her. when we got to the teenage table i told her that she could pick one toy because we had a shortage when it got to that agegroup and told her that that's one thing we want to change next year. she replied with "oh its fine. and SOO greatfully received, truely it is. this is such a blessing" a little bit later she told me that her girls (4 of them) lost everything in a housefire. all their christmas gifts, possesions.. everything.. and then proceeded to tell me that it was their father who set the house on fire. with everything that this woman had been through, she still found the courage to be strong and ask for help when her family needed it the most. i didnt want her to leave.. i just wanted to continue talking to her and feed off her high energy. it was so wonderful.

it just makes a person realize that you never know when you're going to need help from your community. thats what we're here for. to help eachother out. this woman made the comment that "god willing, next year it will ME thats helping other people in situations like mine out" and i couldnt have said it better myself. as community members we all need to step it up to help others in need.. and no im not just trying to be corny or whatever else you might call me... but if you dont believe how much you can truely do for your community even by donating an hour of your time to talk to people who just need someone to listen.. then please contact a distribution center for next year and see for yourself how great a need even just OUR community and surrounding communitys are for added help. you never know when it could be YOU thats asking for help.

above all, toys for tots finally got me locked into the christmas spirit. i just feel like making christmas cookies and going caroling! lol.. and ACTUALLY.. i was talking to linds a bit ago and we'd really like to go with a nice sized group. so if anyone is interested leave me a comment and perhaps we can set something up for this week.

i hope everyone has a great break and a great christmas.

STAY SAFE on the roads!

*winks... later kids.

2 moos | someone say moo

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