loner-skyz
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2005 14 May :: 10.52pm
:: Mood: freaked out
:: Music: Seether CD
then she told that she had a gun..
school is out soon.
very soon.
two weeks.
two more mondays.
two more tuesdays.
two more wednesdays.
two more thursdays.
two more fridays.
one more sucky weekend.
WHAT THE FUCK AM I GOING TO DO?!?
school is what gets me by, i'm not sure i can survive without it.
i dont want to go to oregon anymore.
im having second thoughts about this whole megan thing.
SCHOOL IS OUT IN TWO FUCKING WEEKS.
holy shit.
i leave soon.
i leave in 19 days.
oh my gosh...
this is weird.
waiting to grow
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Angel_Bob
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2005 14 May :: 2.28pm
The play on Friday night was pretty awesome. Way better than Thursday night.
Nick, Ben, Kelly and Jackie came. Which was nice of them.
Something important...blah blah.
Final show is tonight. I don't really feel like doing it. Everyone wants me to go to the cast party tonight but I'm not a party person and there's going to be alcohol. People drinking makes me anxious.
I love you all.
waiting to grow
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angel_bob
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2005 12 May :: 10.07pm
Tonight was opening night for the play.
We had a few bumps here and there (anything that could have gone wrong did, I'm glad Nick is going tomorrow) but overall it was awesome.
Katie made me the cutest thing ever.
I made the crowd laugh.
I'm so excited for the next two performances.
Thanks to everyone who came!
I love you all.
2 ...sweet love...sweet love |
waiting to grow
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Angel_Bob
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2005 11 May :: 10.28pm
Yeah, we're sexy.
I cut my hair, not that you could tell if you don't know me/have never seen me.
That handsome man is Nick. Happy 11 month anniversary early, darling.
Hover on it to get rid of the words.
5 ...sweet love...sweet love |
waiting to grow
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loner-skyz
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2005 10 May :: 5.18pm
:: Mood: annoyed
:: Music: You Have My Attention - Copeland
just do your best to hear me..
i'm going to try and explain this..
these are things that i feel and think and i want to know if anybody knows anything about them, or if anyone feels/thinks the same way.
the first major thing is thinking in numbers. this mostly happens when i'm really tired..all of the sudden everything around me takes on a number. for example, i am a 2 and my clock is an 8.i dont know where these numbers come from, but they are usually one digit.
numbers also sometimes remind me of things. the other day in algebra we were working on an equation and i was suddenly reminded of a family at christmas, sitting in front of their fireplace. it wasn't just a random thought, when i looked back at the equation i could still see the family.
i've been trying to do research online to find out if there's a medical condition or brain thing that causes some people to think with numbers, but so far i haven't found anything.
i was told that some people with OCD think about numbers, but i am literally thinking in numbers.
i was wondering if it was something like synesthesia, but with numbers.
i dont know, maybe i'm just insane.
if you have ANY ideas or knowledge pleeaaase let me know.
waiting to grow
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angel_bob
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2005 9 May :: 9.32pm
Just got home from play practice.
It feels like Tuesday.
My costume is different from all the other faeries so I'll stick out a lot.
Bought tickets for Ben, Jackie and Nick. Fourth row back, stage right.
Love you all.
4 ...sweet love...sweet love |
waiting to grow
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angel_bob
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2005 8 May :: 3.35am
Prom was awesome.
Everyone was so beautiful and/or ruggedly handsome.
I loved getting out there and dancing without a care in the world.
I felt like a grown up.
I love you all.
waiting to grow
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angel_bob
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2005 6 May :: 8.16pm
Prom is tomorrow. I'm excited.
I'm upset that I still have a week more of the play. I miss being home right after school. I don't have any time to be with my family or talk to anyone at all.
I miss that.
On Monday, we get to run through the play in costume. I can't wait.
waiting to grow
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angel_bob
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2005 5 May :: 10.15pm
You know what I hate?
Those pants with words written on the seat.
Because I know those pants weren't made so some chick two years older than you is forced reflexively to stare at the same thing you poop out of. They're made so that guys will be staring at your rear involuntarily.
And I can't not look. It's a reflex. I have to read everything.
They forgot that girls can read too.
That's a fatal flaw in the design!
3 ...sweet love...sweet love |
waiting to grow
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angel_bob
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2005 3 May :: 11.09pm
Perspective.
1 ...sweet love |
waiting to grow
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Angel_Bob
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2005 3 May :: 11.23am
Stayed home sick again. I'm trying to get better for prom and the play.
If anyone sees or talks to Jess, tell her I love her and give her a giant a hug for me. I'll be there on Wednesday. And I know it probably won't make her feel any better, but we're all praying for her and her family.
I love you all.
2 ...sweet love...sweet love |
waiting to grow
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angel_bob
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2005 2 May :: 12.00pm
Stayed home sick from school.
Didn't want to but I want to be healthy for prom this Saturday.
And for the play next week.
Feel like crap.
Going to go get water and soup and read.
Hope your day is awesome.
I have to call mom and tell her that I'm not going to be at play practice. We're on stage all this week. Rock.
I love you all.
2 ...sweet love...sweet love |
waiting to grow
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angel_bob
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2005 28 April :: 10.01pm
Happy birthday, Jackie. I was going to call you but it's late and I'm lame.
1 ...sweet love |
waiting to grow
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angel_bob
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2005 16 April :: 9.49am
Nick's grandfather passed away last night.
I'm in Chicago. I have the cell if any of you want to reach me.
I love you all.
1 ...sweet love |
waiting to grow
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loner-skyz
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2005 15 April :: 4.40pm
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: Knew It All Along - Midtown
all has gone wrong...
so today sucked.
i tried to be happy, i really did..
i tried my hardest to ignore the nagging feeling inside of me, that something was going to go wrong.
but lunch killed it.
jamie was back on his fucking Cody Baker rant, and what a fag he was, and i just lost it.
i've had enough of jamie and his stupid comments.
guys are stupid...why is it that gay guys are, like, the worst thing in the world, but lesbians are sooo fucking hot?
holy shit, it's two girls that like eachother..BIG DEAL.
it's been driving me insane..ever since i came out to him, he doesn't shut up about it.
i swear, if there happens to be another chick within 10 feet of me, he starts going on about how im thinking that she's hot and i want to do her, or something.
grrrr.
and then he makes fun of Cody, like it's not big deal.
"he's mean to me, so why can't i be mean back?"
ARE WE IN FIRST GRADE?!
geez.
things are worse on A Days, when mike's there too.
so yeah, after lunch i was fucking pissed, and really sad too.
things just kept coming down on me.
it was like the whole world decided that i didn't need to have anything good happen to me today.
science was probably the worst class i've had all year.
which sucks, because i love science.
but we were doing velocity graphs with the calculators and motion dectors, and ours wouldn't work.
it was so fucked up, mr. glenn gave us new everything, and it never worked.
he even tried to do it for us, but noooo.
so, the last half hour of science was a complete waste of time, and very frustrating.
and then of course Kendra decided to be insanely hyper.
so she's bouncing off the walls, laughing like a crazy person, and telling me that im a Noble Gas.
gahh.
i wanted to throw something against a wall.
the bus ride wasn't that bad..neither was the walk home.
i got to be alone.
even though Jess and Hannah and Paige came back and sat across from me.
i spent the entire ride staring at the floor, trying to figure out how old the bus was.
and when we got off, Jess waited for me, but then they stopped because they're stupid, and dont know how to tie their shoes, so i just kept walking.
i got ahead of everyone except that one Teal girl.
and Cory..who always rides his bike.
but yeah.
atleast i have The Burn Journals to keep me occupied.
it's such a great book...so intense.
did i already say that?
i think i did..
whatever.
i want to cry.
but my parents will be home soon, and i have to be happy.
happy, happy holly.
waiting to grow
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