. Spok3nFor .

:: 2009 9 March :: 11.16pm

<<40>> | | ; S a m ; | | - says:

As one of my favorite quotes go:

"Nothing worth having comes with out some kind of fight. Gotta kick it to darkness till it bleeds daylight"

:: 2009 3 March :: 11.32pm

I'm getting so fed up..

I miss eating.
I'm sure my stomach is like the size of a grape considering I eat, at the most probably half a cup to a cup of food per day.
Nothing tastes good and everything upsets my stomach.
Not to mention it takes like half an hour to clean my mouth out after.
It's even worse now that I have a dry socket. He has to fill it 4 times. So I went today, have to go back on Thursday, next Tuesday and next Thursday.
And he fills it with this stuff that has clove oil and then packs it with a piece of cloth soaked in clove oil. So EVERYTHING tastes and smells like cloves. Even when I'm not eating I have that hint of clove taste in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure I wont ever want to smell cloves again after this.
And the worst part is it doesn't even help with the pain.

:: 2009 1 March :: 9.32pm

I had to get my wisdom teeth out the other day. IT FUCKING SUCKS.
I can't type it out again so here are entries from my blog:

I had like the worst fucking night last night.
I had a bad reaction to my medicine and I had the worst headache and I felt pretty dizzy so I like went to try and go back to sleep and then I had to pee so Greg helped me up and i just like almost passed out and i started shaking so bad and went into shock and they had to call the ambulance and it just like sucked so bad. I sat in the hospital for like 4 hours and I couldn't stop throwing up cause of the drug so I basically just had to wait till it was out of my system. It was a really heavy duty narcotic so obviously I wont be taking it anymore. But I'm really sketch to even take anymore pills cause i just feel like such shit.
And yesterday i had to get 4 freakin needles. And I hate needles.

So when I got to the hospital they took me out of the bed thing and put me in a wheel chair and my wheel chair was beside the bed and they dropped my IV bag and started wheeling me away and pushing the bed the opposite way so the needle started to drag out of my arm and I couldn't talk very loud but I was like "OW, OW, OW" and everyone was looking at me. It was funny though.

So right now I'm still in a lot of pain I just want this to be done with.

3 ...sweet love...sweet love | waiting to grow

:: 2009 17 February :: 10.10am

This semester I need 11 credits. I am taking 12 to be full time. I only have one required course left. It is, of course, the one course I cannot be on time to, ever attend or do the homework for.

I am hoping I snap out of this soon. This weekend I need to finish up my incompletes from last semester so I can get out of here on time. I also need to CLEP my French credits still.

I am lazy.

:: 2009 12 February :: 12.54am
:: Mood: aggravated

When I see you, I run out of words to say.

I'm getting frustrated with people trying to tell me what to do.
Or how I feel.
There my feelings, and yes I may not know how I feel but that gives you no right to tell me how I feel.
And stop trying to tell me what to do its annoying and just makes me like you less.

Life is never smooth sailing. I'm not expecting an amazing day at the beach but could the waves stop sinking my ship atleast?

I don't wanna try now.

:: 2009 6 February :: 12.21am

My sister turns 18 later this month. I feel old.

We're both graduating this year. Crazy.

:: 2009 31 January :: 3.04pm
:: Mood: bitchy

Dear Life (formerly of The Cereal, now Comma My),

Thank you for the awesome birthday week. It was great to have dinner with my parents at a delicious Indian restaurant and I'm glad you let me drag Nick along while he suffered through the terminal stages of Extended Man Cold™.

I am blessed to have awesome friends that wished me a happy birthday all week long. Although work has become super lame since you decided my favorite kid needed to get fired and you brought my arch-nemesis back from Spain, it was great to have to work on my birthday and celebrate with the people I have been stuck with for the past four years. You made me look forward to graduation and leaving this town so much more!

I've got to say though, the coolest part of this birthday week has to be all the plans you decided weren't awesome enough to actually work! Instead of going ice skating with my boyfriend, you gave him a cold and death cough for a week and a half more -- just long enough for him to be whiny, unbearable and asleep by eight o'clock every night of my birthday week. It was also really nice of you to give my roommate a great car, tempt us with a Sonic located closer to us and then decide that her car needed a new alternator the day before the planned trip, trapping us at my school for an hour and a half longer than we really wanted to be there. That was great.

I have one thing to thank you for though. For my birthday weekend, I will pay rent, pay all overdue bills (most likely on my own) and get a haircut then be unable to eat or do anything for the rest of the week. Thank you so much! This is even better than the time you tempted me with seeing the friends I hadn't seen since May and then decided that all six backup plans wouldn't work. And I thought that was awesome. Oh man, I didn't even know you were going to get me a birthday present!

I guess I wanted to just say thanks. Now I know that I really should never plan anything ever again.

However, if you want to come to my graduation, I was just planning on becoming poor and homeless afterward. I don't need a new car, we only need one door to be able to open really and who doesn't love scraping off the outside and inside of the car? I also was just planning on staying in Michigan and never getting a job with my bachelor's degree. Maybe I should plan on drowning in all my debt? Alone? Because I'm planning on never being engaged or married and I never truly wanted kids.

If you want to ruin those plans, go ahead.

Love,
Rachel

4 ...sweet love...sweet love | waiting to grow

:: 2009 28 January :: 12.08am

AT 9:25 AM (8:25 AM CST) I WILL BE 22 YEARS AWESOME!

I LOVE YOU ALL!

7 ...sweet love...sweet love | waiting to grow

:: 2009 25 January :: 3.52am

Hey.

So.

Nick needs a paintball gun.

Tips?

I do not want to spend a lot of money. He's just going to play with people at work once it warms up.

If it is ever not winter again.

Does he need protective gear? I know nothing about this...thing.

Thanks.

I love you kids.

6 ...sweet love...sweet love | waiting to grow

:: 2009 22 January :: 1.28am

My birthday week began today (Wednesday) and will continue through the end of the month because it's my birthday week and I say so.

I don't know if everything will go as planned but here's the outline (which will completely change now that I've said it):

Wednesday - THE BIRTHDAY
Dinner with my parents and Nick at some restaurant that I haven't chosen yet. I'm wavering between two Indian restaurants and Chinese food.

Sometime later that week
Ice skating at Patterson ice center/rink down the street. This is the ice skating rink I met Nick at. I got ice skates for Christmas and I've wanted to go back to there for a while now.

At some point Nick's family wants to get together at Jess' house but I haven't heard anything about that in a while.

Friday, Saturday or Sunday
Mini road trip to the new Sonic in Kalamazoo!

Monday or Tuesday the week after next
Logan's with roomies.

I am pumped.

P.S. Nick mentioned that when Obama leaves office we will both be 30. I mentioned that we will also be married and have one or more child. We both commenced freakouts.

:: 2009 15 January :: 10.24pm

KHAAAAAN!!!

I don't know what to do with myself. It's like when Kurt Vonnegut died all over again.

Sigh.

:: 2009 8 January :: 11.06pm

So my new years has started off to a pretty shitty start.
As of yesterday I am unemployed.
I was suppose to work at 3 on Wednesday and I had been throwing up all day, I couldn't keep any food or water down and I wasn't going to be able to go in. I figured they wouldn't mind because I haven't called in the whole 7 months that i've worked there. So I phone for about half an hour and just couldn't get through no one picked up so I ended up having to go down there to tell them I couldn't work.
I get there and theres nothing there. They took all the movies off the shelves and they took the computer but they didn't take the screen, they took the phone. But they also left lots of the movies in the t.v section as well as a bunch of stuff in the back.
I saw them there Monday and from what I've heard Tuesday morning they had a truck and they were packing everything into it in a hurry.
Now this is the video store i've been going to since I was 9.
As well as I got a better paying job and I gave it up, but if I hadn't it would have fucked them over. And then they do this.
Not to mention they are extremly good at avoiding people.
I've called there house and they just don't answer. The other employee there doesn't know anything either. My boss' cell phone voicemail box is full. And I also still have keys to the place so I went in and left a note and I'm assuming they still haven't came back and read it because its in the exact same spot and nothing else has changed.
They also owe me all my vaccation pay, which has accumulated to quiet a bit. And I'm so pissed because I have expenses and now I am out frantically hunting for a job. Not to mention just after christmas is the worst possible time to be looking for a job, and especially with the economy these days it sucks.
Theres so much I could type about it.
I'm so stressed and angry.
I'm assuming something pretty bad has happend for them to just leave like that. I know they have had problems financially but nothing that would cause that. They could have atleast given me some notice or told me to not bother showing up anymore.
Personally I just think they are fucking pathetic cowards.
And I wish them all the worst because they fucked me over hardcore.

In other news...
I kicked ass at the gym today which was really tough but good :)
And I was driving home, it was dark and I was going down the highway and what do I see in the middle of my lane? A fucking christmas tree. Good thing there wasn't any other cars other than the bus.

Anyways off to bed. I need to be up early to continue my hunt for a job.

:: 2009 1 January :: 2.25am

Happy 2009!

2008 wasnt all bad. The first part of the year was shit, but the rest was pretty decent.
I'm really looking forward to 2009, theres a lot of changes I'm ready to make (WEIGHT) being the biggest (no pun intended) one. Change for me isn't really a resolution, it kinda just felt this way since my birthday. But the new year is a good time to start off fresh.

Anyways I didn't party or get stupidly drunk or anything. I hung out with my bestest friend Kisa and my boyfriend Greg and we play pictonary, bingo and monopoly and it was probably one of the best new years I've had =) We also watched the ball drop in new york on tv and that ball doesn't really look to big.
Everyone probably thinks that sounds really boring.
After that Greg left and me and Kisa danced and had a nice new years bath. I actually think if we ever lived together we would probably just bath together all the time.
We decided were going to be 70 and probably still taking baths together. We'll have one of those giant walk in baths and Kisa will have to sit on my lap and well be really old and frail. Or the nurses in the nursing home will have to lift us into the bath together. And if they don't let us bath together we'll get really mad and shit our beds and refuse to bath and then smell really bad so that they will have to bath us cause they wont be able to stand the stench.

Anyways HAPPY NEW YEAR. Hope this ones a gooder. =)

:: 2008 31 December :: 5.28pm

Guess who didn't get to see her friends.

ME! yay.