YOUR SO GODDAMN UGLY DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!!!!! (eek!) ahh i am soo mad.. after all this time your still the one who puts the flames in my eyes. Stop stealing everything i've ever wanted.

'i wish my car wouldn't explode so much' (or break down. its been so long?)
Well yesterday was interesting.
Amy and i went to coral springs.
I'd like to think that I almost died. I could have. But Amy turning over a new leaf saved us (?).
Either way if u smell maple syrup and there is no pancake house. beware.
Then i went to paiges sweet 16. It was fun. I did not dance. obviously. but i did do the wave. Sams sister is funny. Paige looked really nice. Kevin is cool. Jared is funny too. I need to study. plus i suck. kinda bye
i <3 amy .
and also stacey cuz shes in new york and i miss her so.

I look like god ... cool!
Guess I'll just dive into it
I feel not good.. not at all.
I feel like such an utter loser.
I feel like people are just using me for one thing or another and aren't really at all my friends and talk behind my back and just wish that they could get awat from me. That how i feel about a lot of people
I feel like i am a laughing stock.. not that i know what that is.
I feel like no one likes me and that there is something seriously wrong with me
laugh at me

Old crushes.. die hard
I think that i should bury you [forget about you]
after keeping you in my closet for so long
but I've already gotten used to the smell

12 dollars for great
* It's a beautiful day. Don't let it get away*
Incredible. Simply Incredible.
Sara and i had the best time in a long time.
I met my future husband and the most insightful thing i could say was "could you sign my shirt?"...

Then i went back and said "i just have to say i think your awesome and so hot and can i have a hug?" I got a hug. My life was made.
Ken lead singer of the starting line is fucking rad fucking funny. fucking amazing. Same goes for the starting line in fact. I am amrrying ken. even though my dads anmes is ken. i will sacrifice. I absolutely adored the reunion show and taking back sunday. So glad i came. So glad everything worked out. I had a ball. I am eating a brisket sandwich yay.
I <3 the starting line and sara. and life. today

Hey Paul, lets have a ball
i suck at life
I don't know why, what? I just want to write today because i feel like it.
I feel like everythings slipping. I don't know what to do. I feel like i need to hold on to nothing. That way nothing will change. But what if i want it to. (This song makes me sad i don't know why. )
I don't feel like being nothing anymore. But i'm not ready to fall. to fail. I'm so bored. Fuck. o- so bored. o so tired. o so wanting to cry because my life isn't what i wished it would be. But theres nothing i can do about it. Something change. Now. I'm sick of myself. No one likes me. Or finds my presence worth commenting about. The one who gives and never recieves. I think i deserve a complement once and awhile. unless i don't deserve it at all. If you cant say something nice don't say anything at all.

I just want to keep writing. AHHHH someone kill me . i don't want to go ugh the things i do . Someone fall in love wih me. please. I think i have pms everyday. I'm unworthy but love me. lets have a ball. yay. I want one. I'm rambling but i care not. I only like buddhist monks. I just want to listen to this song over and over and die. Love me so i can. a life without love is no life at all. I want to go to heaven. (ehh?) say that i truly lived. Say something I'm sick of this akward silence. Ironic.
I don't want to write the report. I'm not in the mood to have fun. Everyone sucks today. Thanks for calling. no one .
I might see starting line to night
Top Ten regrets, most foolish things said (in no particular order)
1. not taking band in middle school
2. not practicing
3. not keeping in touch with all of my lost friends
4. not studying or working harder
5. not being cool in the middle school
6. not visiting my grandma the day i should have.
7. Not being my self. for all the times. especially when i totally screwed up all my chances if i had any. I think about it all the time. perhaps this is my biggest regret at this time
8. Not talking to you sooner(not so good maybe will take it out)
9. Travis.. or maybe i just handled it the wrong way.
10.Art. not doing it
bonus: i regret that i suck. it makes my life suck
I suck all in all. the end