For those of you who have already heard the audition story, feel free to go and get yourself a nice Dr. Pepper while I tell it to the rest of these lovely people.

Yeah...so that whole 'performance not audition' crap sooo didn't work.

I screwed this audition over soooo bad I really really wanted to run out of the room in tears. I even told the guys that I had really never done those songs that bad before (yes it was that bad!) And I got really worried because one of them was like "well do you play any other instruments?" and i was thinkin' "geeeze i really do suck." I wouldn't be able to blame them though I did so bad.

See the great thing is that I passed the audition anyway! Yeah and I was thinking the whole time "wooo, they have got to be idiots to let me in!!!" oh well! So I have now switched my major to Music Performance.

Yeah, and my good day didn't even end there! I then went to Borders with my family and guess what I found...THE OTHER FREAKIN' PHANTOM CD I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO FIND IN AGES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was so giddy I even did a little dance right in the middle of the musicals section. So I've been listening to this musical 'Phantom.' The music isn't so good as the ALW one but it's still got some nice stuff in it. The chick who played Christine, Glory Campton I think her name was, wasn't too hot the whole time. She has a kinda funky voice. Oh yeah...

New obsession...Richard White...played Erik...Greeeeaaaattt voice.

everyone should hear him and drool

check out this one part too that I like-
"If I am guilty, I'll be guilty of that innocence whose name is love.
And never, no you'll never be for anyone except for me.
I damn you when I love you,
And I love you,
And I damn you,
My Christine."

Mary made a 70 on my quiz. Thought i should throw that it there so she doesn't feel left out. I was so proud, I didn't think she knew all that random crap about me.

I feel that QT coffee should play a larger role in my life. Feel free to stop by my home with some.

Just got finished talking to Al who's at West Ga. right now. We agree that the dorm rooms suck and there are many girls there who have more make up on their faces than brains in their heads. I'm just trying to constantly tell myself that we're good at changing a room around and our ugly dorm room will be the prettiest ugly dorm room of them all. I love how i phrased that.

yeah so i'm still freaking over the audition. not so much though. i'm still a little "ohh what if i screw it over??" but for the most part i'm like "ahh whatever" i'll keep thinking 'performance, not audition'.

performance, not audition
performance, not audition
performance, not audition

Okay, since there seems to be a bit of a problem with people seeing their results for my quiz i've decided to just post them all here. I put the little nick names you guys used to sign in with if you didn't use your real name.

Rach: 30
Andrew: 50
Laura: 50
Tim:60
Sarah: 60
Teresa (Teresa is so hot): 60
Mr. Freak: 80
Fabio: 100
Melissa: 100
Cory: 100
Alyssa (Al Rocks): 100

If you haven't taken my quiz then go take it right now!!!!!!!!!

http://www.quizyourfriends.com/yourquiz.php?quizname=030711162615-How~p20much~p20do~p20you~p20know~p20about~p20Bekie..huh~p3F~p3F~p3F~p3F~p3F&email=janischick14@yahoo.com

Yeah...and who is Mr. Freak and why dose he know so much about me??? Hmmmm....
yeah, in case anyone was wondering, Fabio is Tim's car. Yeah, that's right, the car took my quiz.

Wish me luck for Tuesday with my audition!!! I'm just trying not to worring about crying or running out or anything like that.

I stole this from Ressa...

1. first grade teacher: Mrs. Walker
2. last thing you said: "eww big spider!"
3. last song you sang: "We Never Said Goodbye"
4. last person you hugged: i can't remeber...i need a hug though...
5. last thing you laughed at: can't remember, no wait...i was watching some kind of screw up wedding show
6. last time you said i love you: you know i seriously can't remember, but it's been a very long time
7. last time you cried: about an hour ago
8. what's in your CD player: my cd player holds 51 cds...yeah...that's what i thought
9. what color of socks are you wearing: blue, with cats on them!!
10. what's under your bed: scary monster man
11. what time did you wake up today: around noon
12. current taste: spit
13. current hair: down, looks like i've been asleep
14. current clothes: pjs
15. current annoyance: myself and such
16. current longing: things that i can never have but i want anyway because i'm me
18. current worry: lots of things
19. current hate: certain person not talking to me
20. story behind your domain: ummmm...i don't know
21. current favorite article of clothing: pjs
22. favorite physical feature of the opposite sex: the eyes
22. favorite physical feature of the same sex: i suppose hair
23. last CD that you bought: geeeze....oh yeah, ben kweller
24. favorite place to be: in my room...i'm anti-social in case you haven't heard
25. least favorite place: probably somewhere where i'm cold...and naked....that would suck
26. time you wake up in the morning: morning? what are you talking about morning? i wake up at noon, like any other sane person
27. if you could play an instrument: piano
28. favorite color: blue
29. do you believe in an afterlife: yes
30. how tall are you: 5'3"
31. current favorite word/saying: "why not me?!?!?!"
32. current book: Some trash romance that i can't remember the name of
33. favorite season: fall
34. one person from your past you wish you could go back and talk to: parks, but it's hard to think of him as "in the past"
35. where do you want to go: somewhere that's not here
36. what is your career going to be like: probably really crappy
37. what kind of car will you have: i probably won't have one
38. type a line you remember from any book: ahh this is great! "it was so hard, he could crack a nut with it"
39. a random lyric: "Would you wear the legion red/ No matter where I am instead/ Singin' alone, she's feelin' alright/ It's always Penny and Me tonight"
40. identify some things surrounding your computer: paper, more paper, water bottle, hair band

come talk to me...i've been writing

Time for an update....

Take my quiz!!!!!!!!!!!!! I dunno how to link or any of that wonderful jazz so i'm just gonna slap it all on here.

http://www.quizyourfriends.com/yourquiz.php?quizname=030711162615-How~p20much~p20do~p20you~p20know~p20about~p20Bekie..huh~p3F~p3F~p3F~p3F~p3F&email=janischick14@yahoo.com

Even if you don't know me....go take it anyway! I get a kick out of people taking quizes about me!

Yeah, i'm in the need to talk to a guy and for the first time in my life i don't have one to talk to. I mean like ask advice from and that sort of thing. I'm just in this situation and I would like to have a male opinion but i also want one that i can rely on.

Speaking of advice...I <3 Mary!
That was the best stuff i've heard in a while girl.

Tomorrow is my last day of work. I'm actually sad. I <3 Joann's.

If any boys out there give killer advice leave me a note. I need to chat.

I don't see why I didn't get my darn stomach infection sooner...

Yes, that's right, I've had a stomach infection. Yummy isn't it. But i was thinking today, even tough i've been miserable for the last couple of weeks, i so totally brought it upon myself.

I was sitting at work when I noticed that my Dr. Pepper expired on May 19th 2003. Yeah...and i was like "oh well" and i take another swig. I should stop doing stupid things like this.

That's pretty much all that's happened in my life.

oh, and this is my new favorite song because it's beautiful.

"Waking up this morning thinking maybe this can’t be real
I guess there is nothing love can’t heal
Why don’t you come on down so you can feel what I feel
Sitting all alone in this place
Even though we're here face to face
There is nothing gone but there's something wrong

Can't you see that I'm stuck here underneath
That you make it hard to breathe
Take a look and tell me what you see
You'll find me underneath

I don’t want to say what's on the way to begin
I feel that it is you beneath my skin
Is there a solution for this pain that I’m in
Sitting all alone in this place
Even though we're here face to face
there is nothing gone but there's something wrong

Can't you see that I'm stuck here underneath
That you make it hard to breathe
Take a look and tell me what you see
You'll find me underneath
You’ll find me underneath

If only you could feel what I dream
Maybe you could hear what I mean
There is nothing gone
But there’s something missing

Can't you see that I'm stuck here underneath
That you make it hard to breathe
Take a look and tell me what you see
You'll find me underneath

You’ll find me underneath"

*sigh* yeah, i'm a dork

Summer is boring when you can't drive. I've been sleeping so much it kinda worries me. Okay, I've decided that i simply have a strange body that enjoys being unique so it does things differently than everyone else's body. Oh well, it hasn't killed me yet, and i feel fine.

I talked to Becca last night for the first time since forever. She made me feel soooo much better about the audition for a music major. It's nice when someone who is really talentd tells you that you are really talented. So when I go in there (if I don't chicken out before then like last time) I'll remember all the incredibly nice things she said to me. Right now all I can really remember is the time we were doing vocal tests for my chours class and Cory had to hold me in place because I was about to run for it. WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST LET ME TAKE OFF CORY?!?!? I COULD HAVE LIVED WITH A ZERO!!!

I also talked to Racheal who also made me feel much better about all the bad things happening around me. You know since I talked to her I haven't even really been thinking about Parks. He just wasn't the person that I thought he was. I had to learn that the hard way.

I'm going through the phase that Teresa told me about where i want lots and lots of boyfriends. I need a boy. Here boys!!!

Ohhh and i got a job!!! And I don't hate it!!!
yay

SOMEBODY STOLE MY GARBAGE CAN!!!!!!

No joke...somebody actually took our garbage can. Evidently they got tired (it's a pretty big garbage can) because they left it at the stop sign. So my dad called me at 6 this morning and told me to go and get the garbage can. And people looked at me funny as i walked down the street rolling a garbage can. I'm guessing it's not every day you see a little girl in her pjs rolling a giant garbage can down the street. And the worse part was THEY LEFT THE TRASH INSIDE!!!!!

okay that's my "strange thing that happened to bekie" story of they day.

It's cold in my house...brrrr!

I GRADUATED ON WED!!!! WOO GO ME!!!
I don't feel as though i'm out of high school yet though. It still hasen't sunk in. Geeze! And I was sooo about to smack the stupid idiot girl next to me. She taught me that evidently Berkmar does give out diplomas like candy.

I feel the need to go thrifting and get out some of my mood swings. I just ate pizza and it reminds me of prom. Everything makes me think of Parks and how i want something horrible to happen to him, as bad as that sounds. I'm still at that point of not understanding, which i don't think i'll ever leave.

Whatever though, things are going well. I'm getting out of my crazy house and i have beautiful friends and everything will work out okay.

That's all for today.

HAPPY TERESA DAY!!!! (5/24/03 yeah i know i'm late!)

so the first ever Teresa Day was great fun. I think it was fun because Ressa was involved and I <3 Ressa!

Anyway, onto my incredibly bad and amusing story of the week. Get yourself a snack and get comfy cause this one might take a while...

So my mouth has been bothing me for a couple of weeks. At first I was like "hey it hurts when i press down on my chin! check it out...owww!" Then it got to where my gums were hurting too. Then eventually my teeth in the front started to hurt as well. I mentioned it to my dad and he told me it was imaginary pain. Well my imaginary pain got so bad that i couldn't touch the bottom of my mouth, I couldn't bite down on anything, and I was taking at least 6 advil a day. So it gets so bad that my parents get me a dentist apointment. Here's where the story get's good.

So they took all these x-rays of my mouth and junk. When the dude comes in he's like "have you ever been hit in the mouth before?" and i'm like "huh?!?!?" But he's like "Think back on your entire life. Have these front teeth ever been hit before?" I thought for a while and the only time I could remember was when I was like 7 or 8 and Nikie (my little sister) hit my chin and my bottom teeth when smashing up into my top teeth and broke one tooth. When I told him this he was like "Well because your mouth is changing, this is now causing problems with your teeth. Sometimes it'll be 30 years later before anything actually happens." But he explained to me that getting hit caused something to go wrong with my roots now that my mouth was changing and that he was going to have to perform root canal(sp?) on several of my teeth that day. He wanted to get started right then but I had a French III final to take so i had to run back to school for a while.

So I come back later and I'm kinda freakin' out because i've never had major dental work done. So the dentist comes in and pulls my chair back and all that jazz. He gives me the first shot of novicane(sp?) which wasn't too pleasent. Then he had to cut open my gum and drain out an infection that had also caused my mouth to hurt like heck. It hurt pretty darn bad. Then he started to drill, but then thing was I was only numb in the front; I could still feel him drilling and stuff. So this hurt even worse and I screamed a little, but then he numbed me right up and everything was fine and dandy for about the next two hours. Around the end I could kinda feel my mouth again. I was trying to tell him, but my mouth was so full of crap that he couldn't understand me, so he was like "oh...you have a bad taste in your mouth?" and i like shook my head but the dental assistant went ahead and sprayed some water into my mouth. By this time my teeth are starting to throb. Then things got really bad. At this point i can pretty much feel everything he's doing. They go back to the front of my mouth and started sucking stuff out of my gums again. I swear, I have never felt such pain in my life. I griped onto the chair really tight and squeezed my eyes closed but it seemed like this horrible pain was just going on and on. Finally he stopped when i started crying and realized that I could feel everything. So this poor man (no, I have no anger towards my dentist) rushes off to get me more drugs while i'm sitting there bawling. After I got more pain medication I was fine again.

The great part is that he didn't get to finish because everything was so jacked up in there, so I get to go back in a week so they can finish me off.

oh joy...

the good part of this story,
my mouth doesn't hurt anymore and I can bite into foods again!

I Love People Who:

-love me

-give me money/candy

-make me laugh

-keep me safe from scary boys

-walk with me to wherever i happen to be going

-understand my headaches and let me sleep with their "poopy"

-understand what i'm talkin' about

-rock on with the guitar

-complete my thoughts

-enjoy my strange sense of humor

-understand that i'm only 5 on the inside

-let me rant about my random problems

-give me hugs

-let me kiss/slap them

-tell me i'm pretty or that they love me randomly

-bring me back up when i feel the need to put myself down

-go with me to kid's movies


I just love my friends in general. Big hug and kiss to all of Bekie's friends! You rock on!

I have nothing to do...I'm soo bored....la la la....

Yeah, I tried to get on here and i filled out the wrong screen name...but instead of thinking "geezze stupid me" i'm thinking "stupid computer! you should know who i am!"

I'm in a much better mood since last night and all my upsetness going on. Alyssa made me feel much better in 1st period. She has the strangest way of doing that. I like handbells, it makes me smile. Crossman gave us another speech when she saw cory and al drinking after me. And cory was like "it's the circle!" you tell her cory!

I ate lunch at a different table today. kinda threw me off a bit but i had fun. I like Steven. He bought me candy. I like people who buy me candy. I also like people who give me money...just incase you wanted to know. Yeah but i had a major rant session and i felt much better afterwards.

i forgot what else i had to say. hmmmm.

yeah oh well. it hurts to think.

tim should update his journal.