yeah, i was gonna take a shower but i was put in a bad mood. i don't understand why everything in life has to go wrong at the same time. why can't it just take turns?

why do i have to classify things the way i do? why are there creepy guys and nice guys and then the one that makes you feel like your stomach will explode from those stupid butterflies you have.

I would almost give anything to be back in december or sometime before late january. things just seemed to make more sense then.

i don't know what's wrong with me.

okay, i'm seriously gonna take a shower now

I worked on my scrapbook today! go me, go me!
I just played my feelings out on the piano. I just realized that i haven't written since last year, when I heard someone saying my songs sucks. Perhaps the reason for my dry spell...huh. anyway, just something i remembered while playing it out with Lester. I feel as though i've been writing like mad recently. Lyssa said she enjoyed my somewhat insaine poetry...but it just kinda creeps me out. like i didn't write it at all. but i usually get all my icky emotions out with writing, and as of recently, i've had many icy emotions. I just feel like i'm being pulled in 101 different directions with this thing that's been bothering me. if you ever talk to me, you'll know what i mean because i've probably asked your opinion on it. I'm sorry, i don't trust myself. knowing me, i'll screw something over.

anyway, al and cory came over and we did some major scrapbookin'. I am convinced that i own the ugliest scrapbook in the world but al says she likes it. yeah, but they were talking about picking up flowers for prom, which made me think about prom, which i don't want to think about. it's strange the things that are changing in me. i wish i could figure just a little of this out.

oh well, that's my rant for the day. much love.

ohh i just finished reading The Little Prince. yeah, i'm crying like a baby. it's so sad...everyone shoudl read it.

yeah, so i'm a sucker for sad stories. Like Phantom or Flowers for Algernon or Tale of Two Cities...i might just actually like throwing the book at the end. i'm such a dork.

anyway, onto something that's not gonna make me cry.

talked to parks today. told him about my dinky survey. i was like "yeah...alyssa, melissa and I took it...mine was the saddest of them all." but i didn't want to lie! ohh what now, to the two of you who just put no to the sports thing! and then you find out that your boyfriend did play baseball! oh oh, what now???? okay, actually i'm just a dork who goes in her head while filling this thing out, "well, he's hasen't ever told me that he doesn't play water polo, and it's not like i've ever brought it up..." yeah, he doesn't. you learn something new everyday.

i feel as though there was something else that i should be saying...but i can't remember what. oh well.

I rest my case!

INFORMATION
His name: Parks

His age: 18

How many months are you apart: 2 months

How long have you been together: 2 months

How Long did you know each other before you got together?: five years

What physical feature attracted you to him first?: i dunno. i remember he was tall with dark hair and i went, "hey!!"

Eye color: green maybe

Hair color: dark brown

Hair style: ohh long

Normal Outfit: he likes his black trench coat because after he bought it that's like all he talked about. "and i bought a trench coat blah blah blah trench coat blah blah trench coat!"

How did you meet: school, chorus to be specific

RELATIONSHIP STUFF

How serious is it: well, i never really see him or talk to him so you figure it out

Do you love him: don't ask me that

Does he love you: probably not

Do your parents like him: they don't really know him but my dad has plans for killing him and his long hair and his pencil neck

Do you trust him: sure

Would you share a toothbrush with him: probably, i like to share things

Does he let you wear his pants: actually he was talking about loaning me a pair

Do you have a shirt of his to sleep in that smells like him: no, he wouldn't give it to me...that jerk

Do you like the way he smells: i haven't really even sniffed him, but one time al and I went into his bathroom and smelled all his spray stuff and it was kinda nasty

Can you picture having kids with him: we both did one time...yeah...those were some messed up kids

What do you like the most about him: when he does talk to me it's very interesting. i feel extreamly comforatable around him and i'm not that way with a whole bunch of people. sometimes i feel as though i could tell him anything

What bothers you the most about him: his hair and when he doesn't say anything so i feel like i just have to keep talking and talking

Does he have a temper: not that i know of

What did you give him for the last gift giving occasion: nothing

What did he get you: nothing

What is the best present he's ever given you: well, one time he gave me a pair of his boxers.

Does he have a cute nickname for you: not that i know of

Do you have a nickname for him: i like to call him parkus but no one else can call him that or i'll beat them.

Are you happy to be with him: when i'm with him yes

Do you think you could do better: probably not...hey, it's me

Does he embarrass you in public: no

SOME OTHER STUFF

Does he have any peircings?: not that i know of

Does he have any scars that you know of?: yeah...maybe...i think

Is he Outgoing or Shy?: shy

Does he love his mama?: i dunno. he lives with his dad if that means anything to you, but he does go to his mom's house.

DATING STYLE

Does he pay for dates - i wouldn't know

Does he kiss on the first date - i wouldn't know

Call you hunny, sweetie, or baby - nope

Would he hang out with you and YOUR friends - ha, he let us kill his bed

Would he hang out with you and HIS friends - i don't know any of his friends

DOES HE

Play Football - i dont know

Baseball - good question

Basketball - well he's tall...it's not like he couldn't do it

Soccer - no clue

Lacrosse - i dunno

Water Polo - i dunno, but that would be kinda funny

Swim - i supoose he would if you threw him in a lake

Surf - not that i know of

Skateboard - don't know

Sing - OH I KNOW THIS ONE! yes

Think Justin Timberlake is gay - he should because if he didn't i might have to slap some sense into him

Call Other Guys - i have no clue

Wear Underwear - i hope so, unless he just like to throw them around his room and keeps some in a dresser to hand out to his visitors

Use the word dude - haven't noticed

Use the word tight - did you miss the part when i said we don't talk that much?

geeze...so you understand now

I stole this from al-

. Are you an innie or an outie? innie

2. Have you ever worn bell-bottoms? good question...i dunno.

3. Have you ever written a song? pshh, yeah i have

4. Can you make change for a dollar right now? no, but i will take a dollar if you give me one.

5. Have you ever been in the opposite sex's bathroom? oh yeah

6. Have you ever smelled your own feet? umm okay.

7. Do you like ketchup on or beside your french fries? i usually don't eat ketchup with my fries.

8. Can you touch your tongue to your nose? nope

9. Have you ever been a boy/girl scout? oh the shame! yes i have.

10. Have you ever broken a mirror? hah, have i ever!

11. Have you ever put your tongue on a frozen pole? nope

12. What is your biggest pet peeve? when people ask me things i've just finished answering, or when people are so convinced that they're funny and they're really really not. and when people can't figure out that i don't like them. and when people don't take baths, that's always bad i suppose.

13. Do you slurp your drink after its gone? sure i do!

14. Have you ever blown bubbles in your milk? yup

15. Would you rather eat a Big Mac or a Whopper? I'd rather have some Wendy's

16. Have you ever gone skinny-dipping? he he, yeah, i seriously have.

17. When you are at the grocery store, do you ask for paper or plastic? i dont

18. True or False: You would rather eat steak than pizza. false, actually i'm not very fond of steak

19. Did you have a baby blanket? ohh yes

20. Have you ever tried to cut your own hair? yeah i have, just yesterday

21. Have you ever sleepwalked? not that i know of

22. Have you ever had a birthday party at McDonalds? nope. i'll consider that for my big 19 though

23. Can you flip your eye-lids up? eww no

24. Are you double jointed? eww no

25. If you could be any age, what would you be? not 18 and not an adult

26. Have you ever gotten gum stuck in your hair? i don't think so

27. Have you ever thrown-up after a roller coaster ride? ohh yeah, i have a dinky stomach

28. What is your dream car? i want a motor cycle but i think i'd fall off the darn thing. so i want a big guy to come with it that can drive it and i'll just hang onto him.

wheres #29...up your booty
!
30. Would you go swimming in shallow waters where, one year earlier, a shark had attacked a child? probably not

31. How many cavities do you have? i dunno

32. Have you ever eaten a dog biscuit? no, but i have thought about it

33. If you were in a car sinking in a lake, what would you do first? i would think, "I told that idiot he couldn't drive across the lake!"

34. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance? yes, when i broke my knee. i didn't get to enjoy it though, because of the broken knee and all.

35. Can you pick something up with your toes? yes

36. How many remote controls do you have in your house? i dunno

37. Have you ever fallen asleep in school? yes, but only once i think

38. How many times have you flown in an airplane in the last year? never

39. How many foreign countries have you visited? none, but i have been al's house and that almost counts.

40. If you were out of shape, would you compete in a triathlon if you were somehow guaranteed to win a big, gaudy medal? triathlon or nap...hmmm, yeah, i'd take the nap

41. Would you rather be rich and unhappy, or poor and happy? poor and happy

42. If you fell into quicksand, would you try to swim or try to float? i'd probably just yell at someone, "hey, get me out of this quicksand"

wheres #43...i stole it

44. Do you ask for directions when you are lost? yes, i'm always lost

45. Have you ever had a Mexican jumping bean? nope

46. Are you more like Cinderella or Alice in Wonderland? huh?

47. Would you rather have an ant farm with no ants or a box of crayons with broken points? crayons

48. Do you prefer light or dark bread? light

49. Do you prefer scrambled or fried eggs? i'm not much of an egg person

50. Have you ever been in a car that ran out of gas? no

THE PHANTOM from The Phantom of the Opera:
You really love having tough evil love, and guys
with masks turn you on. For some reason you get
thrown out of church whenever the organist
plays ....


Who is your dream musical guy?
brought to you by Quizilla


woo and i do love a man in a mask. owwww!

Dude, what's up with parents? I'm all trying to sleep, and then they come and bang on my door yelling something about cleaning my room. And this at noon! What are they thinking?!?!? Yeah and my step-mom says that since i'm 18 now, i'm a adult and my room has to be clean all the time because that's what adults evidently do. Yeah, kept my big mouth shut this time because i wanted to tell her, "Pshh, yeah, just cause you do it doesn't mean the rest of the world does!" And whose stupid idea was it to make me an adult???

So i had a rough night. I need to talk to Parks and tell him what's happened and maybe he can fix it. Prom is gonna suck, i can feel it. But in the midst of all this, I updated the Stupid Seniors site. I put some icons that Melissa made on there because they were saying to me, "Bekie, put me on your site!" So go look at it
www.geocities.com/stupidseniors

Now I have to call Al and find out what she's done. Then I'll call Parks. Then I suppose i'll clean if I don't take a nap. Who invented cleaning anyway? Lemme know, i'll kick them the next time i see them.

Check it out, yeah, I don't really know anything about Saves the Day but i thought it was cool

:: deciding ::


So, Which SAVES THE DAY song are YOU?
brought to you by Quizilla

On of these days, i'm gonna get shot!
Check it out! It's 1:30 and i'm freakin' awake! Ohh and i'm dressed! Go me! Go me! Yes and if you can't tell i'm in a much better mood than my last entry. Yeah....just this person said some stuff to me that really really hurt my feelings and i cried for like a couple of hours. Then i went out with a bunch of my friends from youth and talked it over and then i felt better. Yeah and much love to you Laura. That was really sweet. Ten points to you. Yeah and then I talked to Al about it and that always makes me feel better.

Yes, now onto why i'm gonna get shot. I have a big mouth. I've just recently realized the extent of my big mouth. For those of you with weak stomachs or for those of you who are eaten or have just eaten, i would skip this part. See, the thing is i burp in public a lot. My parents think this is sooo rude and they're constantly getting onto me about it. But the thing is, my parents have their own little tendencies at the dinner table. So we're right in the middle of dinner and i burp. My step-mom looks up and says, "Say excuse me," but i just keep on eating. So she gives me this really mean look and says again, "Say excuse me!" So i sit my fork down and then I say, "Well, Daddy told me that I shouldn't say 'excuse me' unless i really mean it and i burped on purpose so i suppose i wouldn't really mean it." I suppose this kinda pissed her off a little bit because she says, "One of these days, you're gonna be at some really fancy dinner and you're gonna burp and then you're gonna be really embarrassed!" This is when my big mouth and my parents' bad habits come into play. Immediatly I reaspond with "One of these days, you're gonna be at some really fancy dinner and you're gonna fart and then you're gonna be really embarrassed!" Right after that I thought, "Man if my kid said that to me, I would have hit them sooo hard!" But the thing is my parents just keep on eating like it's no big deal. And this isn't the only time i've had a smart mouth with this whole burping situation. One time i burped in the living room and my dad was like "Bekie, you have got to stop burping like that. It's disgusting!" I was like "Well you're farting is way worse than my burping." And i'm supposing i get my loud mouth kinda from my dad because instead of just smaking the crap out of me for talking back, he figures he's gonna argue with me. He says, "Well at least when I fart my breath doesn't smell bad!" And i screamed, "At least when I burp my butt doesn't smell bad!" I guess I won because he just laughed and walked out of the room after that. Yeah, but that's how bad my loud mouth is; my parents have even come to accept it.

Anyways, Al went to West Georgia on Sunday. She called me and told me all about it. My dad says we're never gonna make it in college. He was asking me what she said it was like and i said, "Ohhh! She said they have a McDonalds and and Arbys right next to the dorm we selected! Itsn't that great! And they're like right there in walking distance!" Yeah, I think i'm ready for college. I've got the dressing sloppy part way down.