<center>Let lips do what hands do.</center>

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gideon

:: 2020 25 February :: 9.20pm
:: Mood: blah

Nobody ever asks me if I want to do anything, it's always me asking others.

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goodbye

:: 2019 29 June :: 1.17pm

Why does no one want to marry me? Am I not good enough for it?

I shouldn't even be asking myself that question. I know I'm not good enough to be someone's wife. The men that I've been with have indicated that. The first, obviously. The second, pretty much there.

I have grown up in a society that has told me that that's all I'm good for. I've learned that I'm not even good enough for that. The little I must amount to...

I could settle and marry someone I don't love. I could be Cath. When will this flame of hope finally die inside me so that I can stop moving forward and resign to my fate to never get what I want in life? I hope it dies soon so that I can too.

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goodbye

:: 2019 28 June :: 6.47pm

Just getting to watch the Democratic debates now. Holy shit I'm pumped.

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goodbye

:: 2019 13 June :: 4.27pm
:: Music: The Best of Me - The Used

Most of the time I think of wonderful, exciting things to do, I just don't do them because I have no one to do them with. Concerts, movies, trips... I've missed out on so much shit. Then I try to do stuff alone and the enjoyment goes from possible 100 to like 12. It's just no fun by myself.

Life alone just fucking blows.

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goodbye

:: 2019 30 May :: 9.40pm

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goodbye

:: 2019 13 May :: 10.29pm

Time is a rubber band.

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goodbye

:: 2019 11 May :: 6.51am

I don't know why I moved to this apartment. It's empty. It's lonely.

I thought he would be here with me. I craved more so I thought having a place to stay together would be beneficial after the cost of those hotel visits.

Now I find myself alone almost all the time. It's not easy. It does not help with motivation. My depression is sky high and I don't think I can fix it now. Not without him around.

It's Woodinville all over again only this time I can't just drive 10 minutes to see him.

You know that feeling when you realize you need someone just a little bit more than they need you?

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goodbye

:: 2019 2 May :: 6.22am

I'm just so tired of the rat race.

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goodbye

:: 2019 1 May :: 7.59pm

Oh... hello, Depression. You snuck up on me this time. The endless abyss of meaninglessness. The void. That empty feeling you get when xxx blah blah blah words.

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goodbye

:: 2019 27 April :: 10.12pm
:: Mood: Hiiiiiigh

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