six women and snoop dogg.
when i came home today i was flipping through the t.v. channels and snoop dogg was on the view. it was so funny. if you know what the view is you would agree. its six women that basically gossip and google for an hour. people like my grandma watch that show and there sits a huge pimp in the middle of it.

as we all know last night was amazing. the music was great, as was the crowd. it was just an all around good time.

i have to admit that i wasnt feeling 100 per cent today. last night when i got back ernie's my stomach felt like it was going to explode. i woke up w/ it this morning and ive still got it. i have no idea why either.

not to mention im covered in bruises but its all good. you play, you pay. and i wouldnt trade last night for anything.

i came home and slept for 4 hours. it was hot.

my mom was at best buy and she suprised me w/ the phantom of the opera soundtrack. it makes me so happy. i saw the play when i was younger and fell in love w/ it and ive read the book. i was even the phantom for halloween one year. i was some sort of weird kid. looks like i never grew out of it. :)

havent talked to adam since wednesday afternoon. he hasnt even been at school and i cant get ahold of him. i would have to say thats lame. how about you let me know youre safe and okay....

sorry for bitching. im done.

that is all.

lots of love.
xoxo.

leprechauns and gold filled pots.
i got this from a friend so i wish this to all the boys and them some. its irish and cool...just like me.

May there always be work for your hands to do;
May your purse always hold a coin or two;
May the sun always shine on your windowpane;
May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain;
May the hand of a friend always be near you;
May God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.

ok, thats all done. it might be a lil lame but its okay.

FCAT wasnt too bad. theres more to look forward to tomorrow...but i get to leave after its over. woot.

these are some confusing times.

im sorry i cant be who you want me to be. im doing my best for now.

later gators.
xoxo.

blah.
dude, i am so bored right now.

today was fairly uneventful. i wore man pants. that was neat...very roomy.

i need to be doing homework. i realized today how much ive been slacking.

f-cat tomorrow. ugh. thats all i have to say about that. is it reading or math tomorrow? anyone....

mike is a mean ass. im going to kick his ass.

i played w/ lenny and ernie after school. we know how to have fun.

my throat is swelling up. its really not cool. it kinda hurts.

adam just cant seem to stay out of trouble. i worry about him.

everythings just blah.

im done.

im going to go force myself to do homework.

peace crackers.
xoxo.

...
i wish i knew how to overcome my anger.
very few people have seen me at my worst and id like to keep it that way. i dont like the person i become when i'm angry. im sure its probably unexpected. its like turning into a person completely out of my control. i hate it. and i know its only my fault.

anywhere but here.


im sorry...i needed to vent, to say just a little something.

happy dance.
i love how my boys make my days shine.
if it werent for every single one of you, my days would be dark and dreary. for this...i thank all of you. you help me without even knowing it. xoxo.

afterschool yesterday i went w/ lenny and ernie to drop collin off at his house. we had good times. i love watching him play guitar. we stayed there until his band came to pick him up. they were flicking us off and there was a naked bootay being stuck out of the car window. it was so funny. i hope they did well. i wanted to see the show.

but i loved suprising my dear anna on her birthday. it was amazing. we cleaned maria's house. i even sweeped. :) i even saw lenny bake. woot woot. ernie clean out pool. sexy pool girl i would have to say. that would be good money.

i had bonding time w/ mo mou. i love that girl. i hope she knows that she can come to me w/ anything.

we so scared anna when we suprised her. it was amazing. i really hope her birthday was a memorable one.

we ate, and danced, ran around and chased each other, played basketball, and just sat around and talked.

tony, (maria's little brother), bob, and mike hung out w/ us too. bob is my new little friend.

maria is so cool. i think shes becoming one of us. oh, no. lol.

all in all, the night was worth a happy dance.

im quite sick right now. the coughing, the sore throatness, and running nose and junk isnt very fun.

i think ive rambled on long enough.

later gators.
xoxo.

fun days.
well, yesterday was fantastic.

no school for me. went many a places w/ adam, michelle, lenny, and ernie. we went to bagel factory, bob evans, the mall, bell tower and saw eurotrip. i havent ever seen that many penises in a one movie ever. even in porn. and baby hitlers. it was so great. GO SEE IT.
then me and michelle went by school and picked up maria, danison, and fletch and hung out and ate at maria's house. she is such a cool girl. she let us chill and eat her food. :)
then me, michelle, and fletch went to a play ground and then to my house.
after that it was to go pick up my dear friend shoshi to go to the lacrosse game. it was so much fun but fucking cold and wet. i ended up wearing andrew's pants. michelle said i was going to have andrew babies. haha. no babies for me.

all in all yesterday was amazing.

and now im tired and sick.

but i play tonight.

have a good weekend kids.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ANNA B. !!!! i love you lots and lots.

xoxo.


ohhh....my mom so bought me the lion king soundtrack. its amazing.

woot woot.
well, like i said before friday night and saturday was amazing. i love those guys.

saturday i went home w/ lenny and then went to the movies. we ate some salad and ran into annie flector and soshi. i got to spend time w/ my adam. yay. :)

then i went to walmart w/ my mom. i was sleepwalking. i was so damn tired. she asked me many times if i was on drugs.
me and lenny were acting so crazy at the movies cause we were so tired. it was great.

so, i went home and slept.

then i woke up sunday morning and my mom and i started to fight. had to have been one of the worse ones lately. we were screaming profanities at each other and slamming things around. and of course it ended in tears. so, now im a "fucking selfish bitch."

then, my mom felt bad and she took me shopping. yeah...i got some new things but it definitely did not solve things w/ my mom. just too different. just another life battle.

all my love.
xoxo.

lunch...melons go first.
so...yesterday at school was pretty lame...but thats nothing new...

but then i went to the mall w/ lenny and michelle. we had good times there.

then...i went to mo mou's house to party. mo mou, danison, anna b, lenny, ernie, maria, and kaytee came to play.
we ate lots and lots, and danced, and talked. it was fun.
we got yelled at by some mean old lady and her dog cause we were sitting in a drive way. we were "trespassing." she said that she was going to call the cops and all that junk. lou lost her shoe! but we went back to get it later. it was saved.

we snuck out too. it was so great. i love crawling out of windows. i met steven and colt. they were pretty cool.

six of us all slept in the same bed. it was crazy. we fell asleep by 5:00 and woke up around 9:30. it was good times.
i love mo mou's family. it makes me so happy.

i love ernie. i love you, dearest.

i also love all the boys. you keep my spirits high. i dont even need drugs. woot. ;)

movies tonight. go...it will be good times.

tinkie winkie.
xoxo.
:)

blah blah.
i just got a mother fucking referral.

i just needed to vent.

yay. to mo mou's house after school!

so, yesterday was fun. went to the mall w/ codes. good times.

adam went to a club last night.

sometimes i dont understand things. just dont make sense. but thats life.

xoxo.

"um...youre kind of in the wrong lane."
haha. i said that ^ to lenny yesterday in the car. she was like..."oh i didnt know there were seperate lanes." or something like that. it was really funny but you probably had to be there. we were so its funny to us.

yesterday after school was the highlight of my day. went to the mall w/ lenny and ernie. it was some good cle time. i bought a ren and stimpy pin and one that says "yer straight trippin boo." makes me more complete.

we went by and saw my adam working. it was cute. he was so suprised. it made me feel all bubbly inside.

interims today...two b's. one in chemistry -a damn 89- and in yearbook. haha thats sad...in yearbook of all classes. oh, well. wish i cared. :). the rest were a's so i dont have to do much to bring my grades up. hopefully they dont go down...

mo mou's party this weekend. woot woot. party time.

i want to go to the lacrosse game on saturday too. maybe ill go see the end of it or something.

i learn skank. neat-o.

my love to all the boys.

that is all.
xoxo.

the words i know. the feelings that dont show.
looks like ive fallen from my cloud.
thats just the way it goes.


she walks right by. her eyes facing down.
her lips frozen to a permanent frown.
eyes holding nothing more than a blank gaze.
a dream she has of feeling her mother's praise.
shes lost. she has no path to travel.
shes watching her entire life unravel.
a stanger on the street would know nothing of her past.
knowing all her hardships would be impossible to grasp.
a way to be happy. a way to fix life's despair.
so there would be no others experiencing this blank stare.
she covers all the wounds w/ a laugh and a smile.
shes knows everythings going to be okay. it just might take a while.
this girl, she always tries to run away.
but she wishes for nothing more than to find a place to stay.
shes trying to make no more mistakes,
shes trying not to be someone fake.
shes trying to find a way to change.
no longer wanting to be someone strange.
so, this girl. the one w/ the lost stare.
know that shes trying. she knows that lifes never fair.
shes only trying to keep this away.
hoping tomorrow will bring a brighter day.

xoxo.

happy valentines day to all.
yesterday was amazing.

i went home w/ lenny after making a few stops. then we went to her house and chilled for awhile. adam brought me a dozen roses! then went back out, back to her house, and then finally to the greek festival. she drove and everything. im very proud of her.

i played w/ lenny, flector, mo mou, dani, anna, zack, lil jo, and tarek and the greek festival. rode some rides, hit my head. it was great fun. :)

then, from there me, lenny, and flector went to the movies just to see who was hanging around. it was on the way home and all...

we saw pb, nick, jayme, and joe there. so we left there to go to jayme's house. i ran up to pb's car at a stoplight. i thought it was kind of funny. stopped at a gas station and then speed-ed all the way to jayme's house. it was fun. his house was way cool.

i woke up this morning at lenny's and celebrated valentines day. her mommy gave me pretties. i love lenny's family...and her too. ;)

we went to the mall and saw brando and ernie. it was fun times.

didnt get to spend much time w/ adam yesterday and dont get to see him today. that makes me kind of sad. its all good though. i heart him and he hearts me.

and i just ate valentines day dinner w/ my mom. neatt.

i feel like im on cloud nine for once. just a couple days is good for me. if you knock me from my cloud, i might have to beat you. :)

xoxo.