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2005 30 January :: 8.50pm
hidey ho f-ckers!! whats new? well thursday was my govt regent and im not sure how i did, hopefully i passed but ya never know. i get my report card tomorrow anyhow -- im hella nervous!
anyways so thursday after school me and paul came home and ate some food, then we did some chores and headed over to carls house. we met up with carl, lauren, brio, todd, and duane. we all watched napolean dynamite and then a little bit of the perfect score. we all left around 9 and then i cmae home and did a few more chores and then went to laurens. we played zoo tycoon -- yes ZOO tycoon. then we watched dawn of the dead, had popcorn, cookies and milk. yummies! after that we passed out.
friday morning we had no school.. soo we got up around 11 and went to johnnys. after that we went and got some egg sandwiches and went back to my house. we played backyard baseball and then fucked around. at around 430 my uncle picked us up and me lovie rob and paul went to the movies. we saw hide and seek -- SICK ASS MOVIE i swearr! then afterwards the boys left n me and lovie stayed for alone in the dark, we had to dig up change to buy some nachos and a drink, we finally do and the nachos somehow spill all over me, cheese gets on my pants and i smell like cheese for the rest of the movie.. again we had to stick w/ my candycanes lol. alone in the dark was an okay movie, but not as good as the others. after that we got stranded at the movie theatre and then lovies mom came and got us and i went hom and went to bed.
saturday i woke up around 10, got a birthday card for my uncle and 2 thank u cards, one for jim, one for aunt pat, uncle juoe, rob and joey, and then 2 valentines day cards -- we wont say for who! lauren was with me. then i went back home and saw john, gave him the cards nad he did his job haha. after that my cousins robert and kristina came over, i taught kristina how to play texas holdem and then we played for a while, then watched holiday in the sun, and then me kris paul and rob played texas holdem again, 2 games. after that my aunt and uncle came back, we had pie and tea and then everyone left. i came downstairs cleaned a lil bit and went to bed.
today i woke up around 11 and my dad picked me up around 1. we got pizza and did some shoppin lookin for winter boots and thermals. the ones w/ crotches lol lauren. then i came home and watched two movies with my aunt! after that we had dinner, chinese food woot. and then i got online, talked to *jimmy for a little while and a few more other ppl, then started to update.
tomorrow we get our report cards and new schedules. wish me luck, ill need it.
how do u do this to me??
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2005 26 January :: 9.37pm
hmm? ? ?
welp, yesterday was first half of the english regent. it was okay i suppose. we had to listen to this guy read a long ass story and take notes and then write an essay on it, then the second essay was on a passage we read. after school yesterday i met up with lauren and we went to key food to get some ingredients so we could make a cake, after a few setbacks it came out good lol. we didnt have enough frosting tho so we had to haul ass to the superette to get some. we made it just in time haha. so the cake was good, then we just hung around til about 730 and me and paul brought lauren halfway home and had snowball fights haha, i was queen of the mound right laur!! lol then after that i got home, watched american idol n got online. talked to danny for a while, caught up on some stuff..did the usual and then went to bed.
today was the second half of the english regent, it sucked ass, i think i did terrible on it, but whatever. tomorrow is govt and im nervous as fuck. i feel like i dont know anything, im deff not gona do good on the thematic essay thats for damn sure. so today after school i went with lauren to cvs to get some candy, and then me her and paulie went and saw assault on precint 13. movie was ill as fuck. it was sooo good, thanks jim for the advice to go see it. we have such similar taste in movies. so we saw that and had a bunch of snowball fights again, n just farted around. really enjoyed the movie tho. when we got home we had dinner n then i started to study for govt. now im talkikn to ppl and makin plans for friday.
so far me, lauren, paulie, and rob are gonna go see hide and seek and then me and lauren are gonna stay later to see alone in the dark. granted, i really miss rob joe and jim and i hope to see them all soon. its like for a while they had movie marathon and now me n lovie got it goign on yeaa boyy! lol. but i really should get going, finish studyin n get some shut eye.
i FINALLY had a conversation with zach today. a real one! it wasnt a long one, but its ok cuz he was talkikn to brandi and thats understandable. i really am glad he's happy. i cant wait til i reach that point. im so happy for u and proud of u!
other then that miss u all and hope to see you guys soon. much love. ahh what do i get u guys for valentines day?!?! oie vei. wish me luck on my test tomorrow!
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2005 25 January :: 9.16pm
:: Music: poker on television
wick had a good idea!
well i was reading whits journal, and she had a good idea, to put out all her feelings but do it anonymously. wick, im borrowing that idea, i hope u dont mind -- its just ive been trying to talk about shit but kinda do it suttely [sp?] .. so here goes, hope ur ok w/ me takin this from u : D
1. I miss you very much. That day will forever be in my head and you will never be forgotten. Everywhere I go I take you with me and i love you soo much. You knew everything about me and everything I did, but you still trusted me and gave me a wonderful life, I hope I made yours at least half as good as you made mine.
2. Damn, where would I be without you? honestly, when i first came to new york i didnt want to have anything to do with anyone, i had such resentment towards the world, but im really glad i met you. we've had such good times and more to come. you're a sweetheart and always there for me. plus ur my johnnys sidekick lol. id be in hell froze over without you here. we just need to help you with ur guy situation haha .. how's that sound coming from me? love uu!
3. Oh buddy, i refuse to write all i want to because this would be neverending. no matter what you will ALWAYS be my best friend forever. i miss you sooo much but when i coe to visit we are going to have SO much fun its undescribable. you will forever be attached to me at the hip and i will be ur friend til the lord strikes me dead. i wouldnt be where i am today without u as a friend, ur advice, ur influence on me [not always good lol.. i had my first drink w/ u], just everything about u. u know we're sisters .. whether the dna says it or not!
4. Well, i didnt know you all that much before i moved, but you are a wonderful person and im so glad i FINALLY got to meet u after hearing u on the phone and hearing shitloads upon shitloads of stuff nad i know u got my back thru it all. i cannot wait to see you again. ur like my older brother!!
5. oh lordy. i met you once and it was soo much fun. i cant believe a fighting couple brought me and you together, all i know is i wouldnt change that for the world. ive been there for u and uve been there for me and u have touched me in such a way.. you are an amazing person and im so glad i can call you my friend. i cant wait to see you again and maybe we can start to drain out our lake. i will never ever forget you, and i appreciate all you do for me. ur in my heart always!
6. well, what can i say? we have been to the end and back again. we've fought more than a married couple but still go back to each other. uve been there for me thru soo many things and vice versa and i know when it came down to the nitty gritty you had my back. we have so many insiders and i know ull be in my life til the day i die. nobody can come between the bond we have.
7. you are so awesome. i really do love you and im always there for u. i have to say tho, we had a good friendship, but we never really saw each other. now that i moved i barely talk to you, but hey i guess that works both ways. ur always lookikng out for me and ur bluntly honest, which can sometimes be a pain in the ass ;) but thats just one of those things about u that make you ... you. you will never be erased from me, its just not possible.
8. oh lordy, where to start. when i first met u years ago, i dint like you at all. you seemed like a cocky ass and kinda like a show off. i met u again this year, really talked to you .. you are so sweet. youre amazing, funny, fun to be around, and anything but a show off. money isnt a thing to u, and u are so respectful. you know how i feel about you, and ive been hearing from people how you feel about me, but itd be nice to get the information from you. i dont really know where we stand, but you have filled a place in my heart nobody else has, and altho you drive me crazy.. i wouldnt give away this feeling for anything!
9. you are one cooky mo fo. me and you are so identical which is i guess why we get along so much. although i rarely see you, when i do we have such a blast. you always make me laugh no matter what my mood, and you're my helper in holdem. and if it werent for u, i wouldnt know person above! : D
10. oh my goodness. we have been through so much, boynton highschool baby, shit talkers R us. you have ALWAYS given such good advice and been there when i really needed u, altho we had that one big blow out and didnt talk for a while u still came thru, especially that day when i really needed u to be there. it wouldnt have been the same without you. i only wish we will stay friends forever and i apologize we havent kept in touch that much. i cry reading our passbooks..
11. haha. me and you are like a rollercoaster. i honestly never know where we stand. we have been through so much, alothough it may not seem like a lot, and i dont know if ill ever be able to forget u, no matter how hard i try ;x. we went from talking, to friends, to mortal enemies, back to friends. it was a wild trip, but a fun one at the least. im glad we're on good terms and i can talk to you when i need a friend.
of course there are tons more people that are on this list, its just these are the ones that came to mind quickly, plus i gotta get to bed soon ;). all of you will never be forgotten and i hope we stay friends for years to come. i didnt exactly say the truth about everybody and about all the people i wanted to, but well, tomorrows another day.
cant you just tell me what you're feeling, i dont want to hear it from the grapevine
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2005 24 January :: 8.19pm
:: Music: green day - american idiot
long time no talk
wellpz! lets see, lots of stuff's been going on lately, i just hope i can remember it all :: which i probably wont.
okay, well the week went by pretty quick since there was no school on monday. I think it was thursday when john came home with my christmas gifts!! wooop! lol. from aunt pattie and uncle joe i got a cute purse, from robbie and joey i got a cute stuffed animal [dog] and from jimmy* he got me a build a bear. a BIG ass bear haha. its soo soft and cuute and he dressed it and it reminds me of him, it comes with a birth certificate and everything hehe. Lauren and I were calculating yesterday, yes thats waht boredom does to u, and we rounded to 50 bucks! yikes lol. he still needs to pick up his present. oye!
friday i met up with lauren and carl and we went to queens center mall. we had fun bus rides. when we got to the mall we met up with oana. We hit the food court first [of course] and then hit a few more stores ... modells, pac sun, and icicle etc.. got new earrings, a cute ass shirt, and a margarita key chain haha. REPRESENT* then lauren came back to my house and she slept over. uhh.. john brought home some food and wasnt exactly "himself" so when he was better me him and lauren played a load of cards. around 2/3 me and lauren passed out to bad boys 2.
saturday we woke up at like 840 THANKS JOHNNY BOY! paul was out at his friends and aunt lee was at work.. john got us mcdonals for breakfast and we talked a looot about jimmy and paul haha. then i hopped in the shower and we brought lauren home so she could get her shit together. after a while we cashed in the lotto tickets n picked up lauren. in the midst of all this we got in touch with jimmy and i guess some good shit happeneed, i just hope it all follows thru right laur*? the 12th babbbby! :-p it better happen lovie! so after we discussed thngs w/ jim n shit the SNOW STORM hit, yes all u floridians i wish i was with u -- it was amaziing! so that night shit happened between john n aunt lee so john left n me n lauren just chilled for a while, ordered some chicken fingers from pizza classica "yeaaa boyyy" lol remember... and watched movies, played cards, n then we had this wild idea to go out in the snow, there was over a foot. so we went out, shoveled, snowball fight, snowangels, i lost my hat, lauren lost her phone -- both were found *phew* and this was around 9pm.. freeeeezing! then we walked to a closed mcdonalds lol. such nerdssss!! after that we came home n defrosted n watched some movies n passed out!
sunday we woke up around 11 and aunt lee was nowhere to be found, so i woke up lauren and we went outside and went to shovel and found aunt lee and my grama. we were shoveling til about 12. then we came back inside and ate a shitload and then did some homework.. we buzzed my dog and there was a SHITLOAD of hair off that dog, it was stickin to everyybody!! speaking of cookie, here she coomes!! aftre that gram made us some homemade soup for dinner, we ate, played backyard baseball and walked lauren to a and s. oh yea, and befor dinner me n laur were lookin for ece pics and it was very funny cuz i was lyin outta my ass. oh it was 2004, oh they played the red team lol. then we fought. funny night!!
today after school i went to mcdonalds with lauren n then went to my house nad i passed the fuck out watching joy ride.. aftr that did chores ate, played some texas holdem, i won WOOP~ and then got online.. im missing details, but some i cant say :-( .. oh well, aah my hearts fluttering hehe. <33
well imma get going, got regents tomorrow - should study..
btw, carly i called u -- no answer, same with u mario . i wanna c uuuuu!!
Did the sun just come out or did you just smile* at me <33
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2005 17 January :: 9.50pm
yakyakyak
alrighty well.. lets c, this week at school was okay i suppose. i had a meeting with my guidance counselor, we talked about regents, grades, college yadda yadda.
Friday after school i met up with lovie* and we went to her house for a little bit. Then we went to my house, i did my chores and what not, then we checked movie times, went to pizza classica and had some chicken fingers which were damn good, and then we went to go see "white noise". i thought it was a good movie, but the ending kinda ruined it. but all the people in the theatre were screamin so loud, it was hysterical.. after the movies we met up with her brother matthew and his friends anthony and nick bc they picked us up from the theatre. we started just driving around looking for .. get this :: exotic fruits haha. we got kicked outta waldbaums - thanks lovie* then we went to taco bell, and they brought us home. we wanted popcorn so we asked matt to get some, so he dropped some off and then me and lovie watched poltergeist and went to bed!!
saturday we woke up hella early to go to the dentist. we got there, lauren and rose - her mom got their appts and we played cards a lil bit - ghetto texas holdem and some blackjack, plus an intense game of war hehe. then we went to mcdonalds, had some grubb and then went to my house, after that we went back to laurens for a bit n then went to johnnys.. after that we went out. thats all ill get into with detail about that night, but it was a fun night right laur haha. i swear, the balls went crooked!! got home at 11
sunday got to sleep in, just hung around for the most part, then i found out my cousin joey was here from college so some of my family mnet up at the clintonville for dinner. that was nice, then when i got back home lauren came over. we watched poltergeist and uninvited guests with my aunt, then me and my aunt had a put down contest like cursin each other out . was pretty funny. so lauren slept over. fun night
sunday we woke up and watched bourne supremacy, got bagels, went to her house and got online for a little bit then went to this eyeglass place so i could get a pair, but too expensive for my blood lmao. then went to johnnys n back to my house. we did some homework and just hung out, then she went home and i did my own thing.
just got done talkin to jimmy lol and his ex situation. he kills me but he keeps me going i swear. i dont wanna get into it, but i still duno wtfs going on .. wish i could get in his head, but i dont wanna get into it as i just said, but hes still got me all the way. gonna get some shut eye, im out.
ended this really short, but im getin some advice from jay andd talkin to ppl .. siegel siegel.
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2005 9 January :: 8.43pm
:: Music: the killers - mr. brightside
blahh
well i dont really want to get into everything thats been going on, because it hasn't been that great, and some of it is just too whacky to talk about..
still havent my gift from jim, and at this rate ill never get it from him or my uncle aunt and cousins, cuz at the moment, im not allowed to see any of them. dont ask me why, because i dont even know the full reason, all i know is anything that makes me happy gets fuked up right away.
this weekend was pretty cool, for the most part, hung out w/ lauren everyday and we did some stupid shit haha. saturday was .. oo lets say -- uneventful.
my hearts breakin right in front of my eyes, and nobody sees it happening, and nobody tries to fix it. the first boy who i think is truly good for me, who will make such a wonderful addition to my life, who is truly genuine.. gets taken from me..
not to mention, im in total denial about my mom. i dont think shes dead, and im just now realizing it. i cant explain it, but its like i think im here on a vacation gone bad and shes still at home waiting for me.. then i really think back and realize shes not coming back, so i cry.. and cry .. and cry until there are no tears left, my life is a nightmare
anyways, i dont wanna talk about this anymore, and im trying to persuade my aunt to cut my hair, so ill get going. hope everybodys holidays were good, back to school tomorrow.
its hard to tell your mind to stop lovin someone when your heart still does..
i wish you'd realize im all for you, i wish you'd realize i wouldnt hurt you.. i wish you'd realize that i wanna be with you.. i wish you'd realize you wanna be with me too..
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2004 24 December :: 11.32am
xmass
im not going to update about whats been going on, because.. well because i dont have time to do that today.
but.. first things first
Merry Christmas Eve everybody!!
I have a ton of stuff to do today!! woohoo lol. I hope everybodys day is nice, calm, and one to remember.
I'm going to Aunt Dee's for this vacation, which I am so excited for because I wanna see them, toni, the kids, n jimmy*.. plus ill get the hell outta here lol.
just a quick update -- hung out w/ beanie yesterday, then went out n saw phm and a bunch more ppl.. and things are coming about that i never thought would.. but i gotta go
time to start cookin! woot! lol. carly -- ur presents just a tad late lol sorry babe, i love you sooo much!
toodles!
Feliz Navidad ... eve =]
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2004 19 December :: 6.55pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: killers - killing me? [their new song]
my weekend!!
lol just fyi.. this song im listening to is jimmys fave song, he wants to download it for me haha..
well well haha.. my weekend... actually, lemme even back it up a little further to wednesday.
so wednesday im talking to jimmy about how im coming out there this weekend and yadda yadda.. so we keep talking n hes like "yea i have to go to a play with my family on saturday. we go every year around christmastime" so i was like "well that sucks" lol. and he goes "well tara was supposed to go with me this year, we had a ticket for her, but now that she's not going [cuz they broke up] do you want me to see if i can get you the extra ticket and u can join me" so of course i was like yeaaa lol. so i was all happy that day cuz he invited me to go.
: D
thursday im talking to him and he tells me that the ticket that was going to go to me was given to his neices friend, so theres no ticket so i cant go unless the friend backs out.. very saddening
: (
theeeenn friday i went out to eat with my aunt, and i was talking about how i really wanted to go to the play and meet his family cuz maybe if they liked me he'd change his mind about the age thing n stuff.. soo she was like, if its meant to happen it will no matter what, and im just in a foul mood cuz i really like him and really wanna go to this show with thim and his family. so i get home from lunch and im talkin to him about it again, and he tells me that somebody else backed out of the play and theres an extra ticket. soo of course my frown turns upside down and i told him im still up for it. 1 problem - i have to be in shirley, at uncle joes, by 8am.. whatta bitch!
saturday morning i wake up at 613am and john brings me to the isle. we go to uncle joes and jimmy is the only one up. we get inside and then me and jimmy leave for the train station and john goes back home. so we're in the car freezing our asses off tryin to find this train station. so we finally get there and get to the ticket place where u buy ur tickets to meet up with his family, jim goes to get the tickets but he forgot his wallet in the car lol. it was mad funny, he ran so fast to get it lol. poor kid. so we get the tickets, and yes he pays for me.. and we get to the train, whatta close call gettin on that train lol. a split second later we wouldnt have made it -- no lie. so we get on the train n me n him sit together n we're talkin to his neice megan and her friend amanda, they were cute, always wanted "uncle jimmy" it was so adorable lol. so we get to penn station and jim gets a bagel n then we start walkin.. a lot hah. we get to carmines to eat and we had to get split up into 2diff tables cuz our party was too big. so it was me, jimmy, jimmys dad, his mother, 2 sisters, and brother in law. WHOA lol. so his sister jen in the middle of dinner goes "danielle, can i take a picture of you and jimmy" lol i was nervous i dint know what to say.. so i let jimmy handle it, and he goes yea take a pic and leans into me and we take a pic. [ahh lol sigh aww. <33] we kept givin each other these looks, i cant xplain the looks/smiles or the feeling i get, but its something. theen after dinner we keep walking to toys r us and me n jimmy go sit down by a bunch of elmo dolls lol, we talked for a bit, tried to make a plan for the rest of the night and sunday. after toys r us, we walked to the show, we got in, and were tryin to get to our seats when suddenly i feel jimmys hands go on my hips and hes holding me by my hips so gently makin sure i know where im going n he dont lose me, omg i thought i was gonna die lol. so we get to our seats, n of course we're sittin together, n the show was AWESOME. omg billy joel songs are great, it was really a good show. after the show we were gonna go see the tree, but we were all maaadd tired.. so we didnt. so we start walkin back to penn and me n jimmy r ahead n he goes to me "you know, this would be nice, if they werent here" i kinda giggled cuz i didnt know how to respond to that rofl. soo then we get to the station n jimmy wants a shake so we go to haagen daaz n get shakes for us. we get on the train n its a longg ass ride n we get back to ronkonkamo station n say our goodbyes. his family was soo nice and i think they liked me. so i hugged all of em goodbye and me n jimmy left. we went to aunt patties and hung out for a while then i went to aunt dees so we could have a talk, n then we went back to aunt pats. when we got there rob n jim were sleepin, so i woke them both up, i started massaging jimmys back n he goes "ahh, yess.. this is the best way to wake up, good wake up call" lol i was like yea im the best haha. so we went to get mudslide mix n then we came back to the house. we played texas holdem .. 8 people,i got in 3rd suckersss lol! woot woot, it was between me uncle joe and jimmy.. uncle joe won..so then the boys opened up their gifts, they LOVED the shirts whicfh really made me happy.. and jimmy used his shot glass lol n my family got wasted haha. jimmys the new whiskey boy!! during the game me n jimmy did that smile/flirty/these looks/innocent touchin n flirtin thing.. n then i went back to aunt dees. rob n jimmy got mad i didnt sleep over there haha arent i loved.. im missin details from the day, but this is long enough ha.
then today i woke up at like 950 and txted jimmy cuz i told him last night id wake him up today. so i txtd him n he wrote back n told me to get ready nd he'd be over to pick me up in 15min. soo i got ready, sure nuff he picked me up in like 15min n we were off. we went to the bank first, but they were closed so we went to get breakfast, i got a bagel.. yumm, he got eggs on a bagel lol. yumm too. then we ate and went back to the bank, he did what he had to do, and then we looked for movie times. we went to the paintball place so we could drop a few things off to robbie n jared. after that we went to island16 [movie theatre] n saw oceans 12. he saw it already, but i didnt so we went. but doode, that movie constantine looks soo sick i gotta see it. soo yea, we went to the movies n then he dropped me off at aunt dees. it was retarded tho cuz i was supposed to leave the isle at 3, which is when jim dropped me off, but we ended up stayin til like 430 whcih sucked, cuz i coulda been w/ jimmy instead lol. at 430 we went to aunt pats to say bye and i saw him again so my heart fluttered, i got butterflies and a HUGE smile n we kissed on the cheek n said goodbye, n imma come back there on sat or sun and stay for a week which will be AWESOMMEE!! ill get to see jimmy everyday when hes not working!
but yea, the thing that gets me is jimmy always pays for EVERYTHING. hes paid for everything everytime we're together. its really nice but i feel terrible, so i always try to whip out some cash..
its so much fun hanging out with him, but it always sucks having to say goodbye, its not fair that we live so far. but my family keeps telling me not to worry about it uz they think jimmy likes me but he's just being respectful n yadda yadda. idk if he likes me, but i sure sure sure hope he does... ill wait, as long as i know im waitin for somethin solid. my fam tells me he likes me n things will happen a relationship will blossom, but damn man. lets get in blossoming season or something, this is killinggg meee lol. but i gotta go bc im gettin bitched at. ill update more later.
<33 - i only wanna be with youu - <33
Did the sun just come out or did you just smile* at me <33
: D :-p : D :-p : D
i cant stop smiling. im so happy when im with him, its undescribable
oo .. n he wore AF BOTH days
idk if u know what im talkin about
but it means something rite laur?
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2004 17 December :: 6.35pm
well, i have just been up and down with updates these past few days but im back to this..
: D
plans are back on!! i only hope i can get out there in time, imma cry if i cant. this is sooo important to me.. i hope i can make it out there by 8 .. please dont let me down john
its funny how things work out . . .
: D
hope i can keep that face on til monday!
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2004 16 December :: 10.33pm
should've figured.. just should've figured
: (
when is something going to go my way? things are not lookin up..
and fyi -- that was the most retarded thing you could've done whether you were kidding or not. it was dumb and started a problem over nothing.
sure, we made plans for when he gets back, o12 .. wallyball.. whatever, its still not the same. i just want to make plans and have them follow through.
had a good talk with mike today ~ that was fun..
i cant stand how good he makes me feel, i cant stand how much i liike him, and i cant stand that i have no idea what hes thinkin..
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2004 16 December :: 5.26pm
it cant get fucked up, the plans cant get cancelled.. im too excited for that to happen. my grin last night was from ear to ear
: D :D : D :D : D
aaanywho, when ur not lookin for guys, they sure do pop up haha. i only hope he becomes one of them. ill update when i know the definite plans. x's n o's
ciao bellaz! `';``'`;Danielle';``'`;
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2004 15 December :: 11.35pm
if you could only see the grin on my face!!
: D
*sigh* i am sooo head over heels...
id think that was a sign?
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2004 13 December :: 9.06pm
okay, well last weeknd i didnt get to see jimmy because my aunt is a ---- lol. i dont even know how to describe that woman. but hopefully this weekend will be different.
friday after school my dads wife picked me up [cynthia]. we had a nice talk driving to my dads job, then we met up with him, he threw me some money, then we picked up my sister and went to mandees. i got two cuuute pairs of paints. ones a niice ass pair of jeans, and the other is blue cuordorouy pants w/ a ill belt. gonna be cute, i just needa get shirts! then we went out to dinner .. chinese!! *yumm* ... i slept at my dads house.
saturday i woke up and had french toast [not as good as the ones we had on our weekend lovie] then i helped cynthia get shit organized for her xmas party. yea, i did a lot of shit, then when everyone got there i was the butler of the party "can i get you something to drink" "would you like a refill" -- how about ... "get your lazy ass up and do it yourself" lol. after that my sister and her boyfriend took me to rent oceans eleven -- finally.. that movie was sooo ill forreal. then my dad took me home. went straight to bed after that.
sunday was one of the busiest days i swear. okay, so i wake up make my bed n shit so my aunt dont have a hissy fit, then i call lauren. me n laur meet up and we go to murder inc to ask a few questions about xmas presents. they were closed so we went back to my house.. at my house we started brainstorming for gifts for my aunt, we finally thought of something so we got all the materials we needed together lol. then john came home and he took us to roosevelt field mall, lemme just say, the car ride w/ me and my music and my geek dancin was great. soo we get to roosevelt and we go everywhere. we got aunt lees gift which is amazing. its a dangling heart picture frame thats 2sided and one one side is a pic of her n my mom on her wedding day, n the other side is of the most recent xmas they shareed together. so we blew up those pics and put them in the frame and got "together forever" emgraveed on it.. soo incredible. then we got jim,joe, and robs presents which is a shirt we got embroidered with their paintball team on it and their names on the team. they turned out nice as hell. got carlys, laurens, pauls, johns, shannons, leahs, alex's, jess's , dads n cynthias n more. im pretty much done with my shoppin cept i neeed a few more cards. then lauren came over after and we wrapped the gifts and started xmas cards, still not done tho teehee!
anyways, so ive been talkin to jimmy like everyday and its pretty great, he makes me smile and i love it. he dyed his hair chocolate truffle -- cant wait to see it haha. got my report card.. 84.5 average. sci - 80
volleyball - 95
english - 80
global - 70
lab - satisfactory
math - 95
government - 90
italian - 95
if i can bring up that global and english a lot, and try to maintain 90's and above in the rest, i could be doing really good.. i just really needa concentrate and be all about the schoolwork -- dont that sound fun??
so this weeknd was nik's party, and i wanna go, but im going to see my aunts, yea i could say no but 1.its my aunt, and she was mad at me and i dont wanna piss her off more 2.jims gonna be there and 3. i missed joes bday so i really should go see him..i just dont want nik to be mad at me!!
other than that i miss everybody and hope to talk to u soon. mel, heath and wick expect emails shortly .. very long ones. carly u never called back u crotch lol. but ill ttys. maddd luvv to everyone else, mich i love n miss u .. n i have a favor to ask!! xoxoxo
thats all for now, dont wanna write a book -- tata!
mom, i miss you soo much. please keep me strong, theres points where i just feel like breaking down, if i could have just one more hug . . .
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2004 6 December :: 7.49pm
:: Mood: enthralled
:: Music: (cant get my head) around you - the offspring
soo xciited!!
okay.. well things have been a little.. cRaZy lately, if u know u know, if u dont know -- u dont want to lol. aanywho.. so im so f-ing excited about this weekend..
anywho, so friday night im going to my fathers and sleeping ther. then on saturday he's going to bring me to shirley so i can see jimmy and the boys. i have no idea what we're going to be doing when we get there, whether it be wallyball, a movie, cards etc.. all i know is im ready for fun -- and i KNOW ill have fun no matter what i do.
i hate boys, i love em but i hate em, and i hate the situations i get put into, even if i accidently put myself there. homelife sucks... a looot. i wanna really either move out or seriously go to an orphanage because im going crazy. im not aloud in my bathroom, i have to share one with two boys now. things are getting rediculous. im so sick of my life, i want a new one.. theres so much bullshit going down that i just dont want to handle anymore
but imma go, im talkin to lou and gonna try to get in touch w/ jimmy and alex.
siegel - lol jim
xoxo
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2004 1 December :: 9.08pm
:: Music: staind - pressure
sdlkjgsahg
well.. i have talked to jim quite a lot about .. well the truth and i guess we've come to an agreement.. at least an understanding.
god, saturday was so incredible, i never wanted it to end, apparantly neither did he. but we cant be together, its too risky and its too big of an age gap. we both want the same things to happen and we both like each other, we'll just wait two years. haha yea riight. he told me if i was two years older than me he'd be with me in a heartbeat.. well we both want the same shit, so we decideed we'll have more days like saturday and we both see the shit we want happening.. so i guess it all works out okay.
im trying to make a plan for next saturday to get out there, i know my aunt and uncle are upset with me cuz when i went to visit i spent most of the time w/ the kids instead of them, but oome on.. one of them i like and the rest of tthem are my age and cool to hang out with. so im trying to get out there again next weekend. i have a big plan but i wont reveal it to later. mwahaha lol
other news? my volleyball team sucks, i wish they could actually hit the ball this way we can get a game going. lol at this rate they're gonna drag me down and ill never get on the school team. guys i dont want .. want me.. guys i want .. are too old lol. its FREEEZSING. and schools taking over my life lol. guuys im tryin to get to the big fl for xmas break or a 3day weekend i have during mlk day!
goodness why must i like him so much?? cant he just get ugly or annoying or something lol. well i gotta go, talkin to madd ppl. mucho love <33*
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