I found out Dragonforce are doing a show in Brighton in October, and so I asked my mum and she said if I can find a friend or two, then I can go!!! This is weird, I haven't been in such a good mood for ages!

I'm in a much better mood today than the last couple of days, which is just as well. I thought for a while I was going to slip right downhill again, especially after the business with the cutting on Thursday. I think that as long as I keep using writing and drawing as a release when I feel bad, I should be ok for now. Should be, anyway.

And so I give up with people, and proceed to drown myself in the things that I can rely on. Music and art; the two things that have yet to let me down.

You Know Who You Are
How I hate instant messaging programs. They seem to cause more arguments than anything else. I swear, if it wasn't for the fact that there are people who I can only speak to via IM programs, I wouldn't use them at all.

And this argument, how stupid it seems. It doesn't feel like you're pissed off with me especially, it feels more like you were frustrated about something else, and I say one thing wrong, and I'm the target for your frustrations, that you're taking out all your anger on me, for one stupid thing. Maybe I'm wrong, but that's the general impression I get. And you know what? After being used as a human doormat for the past seven years, I'm a little fed up.

All those times I stayed by your side, through all those arguments with other people. I did my best to support you through them. All those times when you took your anger out on me and other people, when you were downright rude. I just accepted that you didn't really mean any harm; I didn't get pissed off with you, I remained your friend. And now, I say one thing, which really shouldn't have been all that offensive or hurtful, and you hate me for it. All this time I've remained your friend, and now you just throw it all back in my face.

And no, that wasn't an attempt to make you feel guilty or whatever. It's just how I feel. And don't try any of that self-pitying shit you tried yesterday, telling me I should be better off without you or whatever, because I honestly can't see anything good about losing one of my friends.

Obviously apologising for what little I did wrong isn't going to work, since I've tried that four times already, so I just give up with this. If you're too blind to see you've lost a good friend, then that's your problem.

Now, feel free to copy and paste this so you can discuss it with other people, turn them against me if you feel so inclined. Because I don't care. Who needs friends anyway?

One of my friends keeps trying to organise times for all of us to meet up, which is fine until she starts arranging things for when she's not even going to be there. I was a bit sharp with her, and probably upset her when I told her we didn't need her help for that, but it's true. I just don't like people thinking I'm incapable of doing something as simple as arranging to meet up in town. Just because I don't arranging things very often it doesn't mean I can't. I didn't mean to offend her, I just wasn't too pleased with being told I can't organise anything.

Got fed up with that stupid American, so I blocked and deleted her. I think she might have blocked me first, but I don't really care. Good fucking riddance is all I can say.

I went to Brighton with my friends today, which was good fun, but I'm really tired now, so I can't be bothered to write about it (maybe tomorrow.)

Gah.. that American girl I talk to on MSN is getting irritating. She asks what I'm doing, and I tell her I'm just finishing a drawing, which was about the same as I was doing last time I talked to her, and she says "Is that all you do?" Great. I'm boring because I like doing arty things. I'm going to block her sooner or later.

And my mother has been a bitch for the past few days. She's all irritable and keeps snapping at me over nothing, like when I ask a question. I hope she won't be like this all of the summer holidays.

Quoted from one of my random MSN conversations:

'roxygurl_luvya( but not for so long) says: (8:15:54 pm)
   And the UK is were?'

I mean, seriously! She did realise her mistake afterwards, but not before I had cracked up laughing. It's probably just as well I don't have a webcam.