The poems to come are for you and for me and are not for mostpeople.

:: 2004 22 January :: 11.01pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: andy c. - live at telepathy

as i lean the seat as far back as it will go, i click "end" and picture you at your best: smiling, dancing, rolling your eyes (and rolling, for that matter) and laughing because you don't understand, or because you're not worried and know what's going on in my head. i turn the volume down so i can sleep better, giggle, sigh, and softly sing along "don't worry about a thing, cause every little thing is gonna be alright".

Raidel says:
I really hate Spanish
susan says:
what ??? why ?
Raidel says:
I don't know after I learned english it just sounds weird
Raidel says:
I even prefer Japanese over it

:: 2004 11 January :: 3.04pm

i know a lot of you have been inquiring and i really haven't had the time to get back to this so...

yes, i am fine (thank you much) & my poor car has $2400 worth damage to it... seems like the engines fine so thats good.

everything else has been okay, schools been fine.

Wished upon a star?: shooting :0)
Found a lucky penny?: heh the Jew in me I pick up pennies everywhere lol.
Had a dream come true?: dreams are always coming true
Been in love?: still am
Broke someone's heart?: i'm sorry.
Had sex with a stranger?: nope
Been turned on by some one of the same sex?: if by no you mean yes :0P
Skydived?: 1 year we're going!!!
Bungee jumped?: i've been on the skycoaster
Snorkeled?: & scuba dived!
Lied to a good friend?: :0(
Danced in the rain?: and gone mud sliding <3 Blue Ridge
Had sex on an airplane?: ha. that would be terriby inconvenient
Swam with dolphins?: in Ft.Myers
Donated something?: absolutely
Stolen something?: stupid stuff, not from stores or anything :0P
Made someone cry?: i hate it because i know this is how i feel when someone else makes me cry.
Achieved a goal?: i always find myself suceeding a little more
Made a snowman?: in Switzerland <3
Loved yourself?: yes

Have You Ever... brought to you by BZOINK!

:: 2004 8 January :: 9.35pm
:: Mood: infuriated
:: Music: lauryn hill featuring d'angelo - nothing even matters

i can't live my life for you anymore because you kicked me out of yours awhile ago .

:: 2004 6 January :: 4.34pm

note to self:

crashing the car is a really bad thing. yup. anyone want to give me rides everywhere? (granted i'm not grounded forever.)

grrrr. welcome back to school kids.

8 lovers | i love susan.

:: 2004 3 January :: 4.08pm
:: Mood: calm
:: Music: rolling stones - i can't get no satisfaction

today the two extremes met for the first time , face to face . the opposites , the two sides of everything . pessimist and optimist . past and present . downer and upper . and one reached over , arm extended , laughing , and i don't know if that made you like or dislike it that much more , but it was most likely the latter - that tends to be your reaction .

1 lover | i love susan.

:: 2003 30 December :: 4.00pm

being 18 rocks.

i'm slowly becoming addicted to scratch off lotto tickets. Poor, Very Poor.

been working like cray-z but gregory works con me so its all gravy.

saw mona lisa smile, i liked much. saw elf con sr. Selinsky, that was fun.

still have 80bazillion people to see and soooo little time :0(

Ms. Jennifer slept over last night, we talked till almost 5 (and i work up at like 2)

ummmm saw my favorite Soy guy & talked Vonnegut (whitney i have to show you the post)

ummmm saw Big Ben & his crazy MIT friends.

Dennys for some raw chicken.

leaving on Jan 1st sooooooo everyone has to hang out before then!

oh yeah... heidi, alex & dom came to visit yesterday <3

:: 2003 28 December :: 9.35pm
:: Mood: contemplative
:: Music: anything with hot bass ... mmm

*sigh* i don't know why i waste my time . honestly .

in other news , best new friends ever . party people , on the floor . haha . how can every day be the best party ever ?! it just is .

in other news , most amazing system ever . even if you've heard systems before . baller ? i know , i know .

spend new years eve the way you'll be spending the new year ... at the biggest party ever . mmm ! hialeah gardens , you know what's up .

:: 2003 20 December :: 1.01pm

thank you to everyone who made my birthday wonderful <3<3<3

can't believe i'm 18!!

4 lovers | i love susan.

:: 2003 15 December :: 12.26pm
:: Mood: giddy
:: Music: jennifer lopez ft. ll cool j - all i have

hahaha ohhh man . what a day and it's only 12:26 p.m. I GOT A C IN CALCULUS . fuck yea , man . and after my music technology grade gets put in , i'll have a 4.2 GPA . mmmmmmm hot ? you know it . and yea ... you never know what the future will bring , only what the past has given you . <3

:: 2003 6 December :: 6.03pm
:: Mood: okay
:: Music: lisa loeb - stay

i love fighting with people . i love it because even when you're sitting there and stuffing the notes into the back of your drawer and slamming it shut violently , in the back of your mind , you know you're doing that because you can't burn them . i love it because you throw the mix cds into the back of your car instead of out your window . i love it because you can sit and look through your phone for phone numbers all you want but you know you're not going to dial a single one , because you'd feel like a fool tomorrow when you're not fighting anymore . and when you sit and watch your movies , the ones that lack surprise or originality , the ones that tell you that everything is going to be alright in the end , the ones that make you realize that your fight is stupid and there is so much more you could be doing than leaving your phone upstairs so you can check it every five minutes with the excuse that you may not have heard it ring ... you know that tomorrow you won't have this much time on your hands . you know that tomorrow you won't be angry when the phone rings and it's not that one person . you know that tomorrow you won't cry your way through the same movie three times . you know that tomorrow it will be alright . and i've been doing it religiously . watching every movie i should , slamming every door , using every box of tissues in the house ... and things aren't alright . things aren't going to be the way they were before , no matter how many times i change the track number because the song is sentimental .

:: 2003 4 December :: 10.31pm

i really hate this feeling.

people are envious of me... i really don't know why.
if people like me, want to be my friend then why do i always feel so alone

i constantly find myself watching friends joking around, making plans... i used to have that.. if this is what everythings being reduced to by growing up then i don't know if i really want to...

16 day. 16 days until i turn 18. thats 2 weeks and 2 days.

i don't know.

i'm a dreamer... i've always held such high hopes and aspirations and .. i don't know.

i can't seem to get excited about anything anymore... is that bad?

2 lovers | i love susan.

:: 2003 27 November :: 3.54am
:: Mood: exhausted

i should have known when my first tire exploded that it was time to let go but sometimes i'm too emotional for my own good . i figured that the warnings didn't apply to me , and things would be different if i just had a little faith , so i went the distance and i learned my lesson the hard way . too bad everything in life can't be solved by scraping up $47.40 and waiting 45 minutes .

1 lover | i love susan.

:: 2003 24 November :: 10.59pm

::15 Random Favorites::
1: Elvis
2: Baby Kitty
3: Ms. Princy
4: Gatitio
5: Princess Sophia
6: Baby Elvis/Whiskers
7: Scardey baby kitty
8: Cindy woo hoo
9: Layla
10: bananas
11: pancakes
12: pictures
13: happy faces
14: polka dots
15: happy dances
::14 Favorite Foods::
1: pancakes
2: bananas
3: palomilla
4: tacos
5: cheese
6: ice cream
7: twizzlers
8: gummi bears
9: heath
10: hershey with almonds
11: mints
12: hard candy
13: cinnamon
14: cheesecake
::13 Most Watched Shows::
1: Trading Spaces
2: a dating story
3: a makeover story
4: a wedding story
5: trading spaces family
6: survivor (shut up)
7: the bachelor (shut up again)
8: the nanny
9: gilmore girls
10: queer eye for the straight guy
11: room raiders
12: one tree hill
13: unwrapped
::12 Good Bands in your Opinion::
1: hot hot heat
2: smashing pumpkins
3: coheed and cambria
4: thursday
5: the postal service
6: radiohead
7: beck
8: bush
9: bright eyes
10: pretty girl makes graves
11: from autumn to ashes
12: sevendust
::11 Memories::
1: show at the factory
2: surprise visits
3: 4am visits
4: twins twins twins
5: the "shack"
6: warped tour
7: melting pan. yes. pan
8: frozen pizzas & movies
9: pictures
10: pancakes
11: party party party!
::10 Close Friends::
1: Jizzennifer
2: Ashy Stockey
3: Bright Lite
4: Stephy
5: Kevy Wevy
6: Gregory Luke <3
7: Princy
8: Lo Wang
9: the triangle.
10: Jess/Heidi/Sam/Dave. yes all in one.
::09 Things you're looking forward to::
1: end of school
2: after IB exams
3: after IB
4: end of everything
5: birthday.mine.
6: ashleys wedding
7: cheesecake
8: after tomorrow
9: something cool.
::08 Things you wear daily::
1: bra
2: underwear
3: heart necklace
4: murano glass star
5: jizz's ring (i try to)
6: sweater
7: shirt
8: pants of some sort
::07 Things That Annoy You::
1: aware ignorant people
2: people who drive slow in the left lane
3: people who don't listen
4: old people on the road
5: jeb bush
6: fucking republicans
7: everything.
::06 Things You Touch Everyday::
1: cell phone
2: car keys
3: computer
4: brush
5: princy
6: myself?
::05 Movies You Could Watch Over and Over::
1: empire records
2: vanilla sky
3: being john malkovich
4: dangerous lives of alter boys
5: 10 ways to lose a guy
::04 Of Your Favorite Childhood Toys::
1: my little pony
2: talking sesame street characters
3: barbies
4: trolls
::03 People You Have Kissed::
1: Gregory
2: Princy
3: Brighton :0P
::02 Of Your Favorite Songs::
1: Smashing Pumpkins version of Landslide
2: Smashing Pumpkins - Mayonaise
::01 Person You Could Spend the Rest of Your Life With::
1: Princy <3

Countdown brought to you by BZOINK!