all things must surely have to end

5 sheila rides | daphne descends

:: 2006 12 February :: 5.28pm

I've been thinking. This weekend was really really great. I've got a cyst on my ovary, but that's okay.

But I'm realizing this. I hate drinking and drugs. It's all so stupid. And I'm not just saying that because I've never tried it. But I really do think it ruins things. When I'm drunk I get in trouble or I cry or I think I'm dying. When I'm sober and see drunk people I think, "what's the point?" And I'm always uncomfortable at parties where people are drinking. They scare me and it's boring. Everyone acts so stupid. Plus it's illegal and can get you into all kinds of trouble. People who are allowed to drink get used by people who are younger. Then there are the people who keep me up all night because it's Thirstly Thursday. I like sleeping. I don't like hearing your gangsta rap coming down the pipe at three in the morning while you sing along. I don't like finding girls passed out in front of their doors. I don't like people thinking I"m weird when I decide that tonight is not a good idea.

And I'm all for making weed legal, just so we can stop wasting time and money. The war on drugs seems like it's mostly bullshit. It could be regulated and people could actually make a profit without getting in trouble. But I know it's more complicated than that and also probably too late, but it would be a nice birthday present. As of now, it's screwing up my family, and it's the most horrible thing. Don't tell me that I'm wrong. I'm just so sick and tired. It's breaking my heart.

:: 2006 8 February :: 4.12pm

this morning had so much promise.

doughnuts, sausage and strawberries.
but my piano teacher is hella crazy and scary.

and also i have a sore throat, mr. aleman makes me really mad and so does sarra b. ug.

and i'm sick again. it's been two years.

8 sheila rides | daphne descends

:: 2006 6 February :: 9.03am

I'm waiting for blood to flow to my fingers,
I'll be all right when my hands get warm.Ignoring the phone,
I'd rather say nothing. I'd rather you'd never heard my voice.
You're calling too late
too late to be gracious you do not warrant long goodbyes.

this kind of friendship is too good to let go. we just had a thin part and we're used to being so thick.

i love you.

Rachely

:: 2006 5 February :: 1.19am

Don't worry... I won't bother you...

daphne descends

:: 2006 28 January :: 2.14pm

ho hum pigs bum.

that was stupid. whatever.

it's bien though. muy bien.

Rachely

:: 2006 26 January :: 6.34pm

Date night =]

I love my girlfriend =]

And Tinkerbell is super cute, but my puppy's cuter (honey, I have to say that 'cause she's my puppy)

:: 2006 23 January :: 12.25pm

brokeback mountain. real downer. i couldn't sleep last night. i was that upset. i'm sill kind of in a funk about it.

i needs me peepers.

3 sheila rides | daphne descends

:: 2005 29 December :: 6.04pm

ha hahahahahahhahahhahhahahahahaha.

*glowing. lala la la allalalalalal

Rachely

:: 2005 25 December :: 11.21pm

I just heard the good news...

congratulations!

:: 2005 16 December :: 11.13pm
:: Music: pashing mumpkins-garewell and foodnight

maybe i'll be like emily dickinson. i'll just live in my parent's attic writing poetry.

maybe i'll get a grip and stop being selfish. maybe someone will punch me in the face.

maybe. i don't want to think about it.

i'm sorry. i can't stop being like this. if i'm ruining your life please stop bothering with me. i'll get you a fruit basket to make up for it.

3 sheila rides | daphne descends

:: 2005 10 December :: 5.18pm

i'd say i don't care anymore. i think i want that to happen cause i'm not doing a very good job. why can't i have two or three? who says that's wrong? i'm still not over all those stupid things either. it's like it wasn't almost two years ago.

and it's official. again. christmas is horrible. it's so dumb. i don't want presents. i don't want trees or lights or family or friends. i want to do something good for someone who needs me. NOT because it's christmas, but because i should be a good person all year. then maybe i can feel decent. i miss my peepers. i think they're the only thing i don't hate.

i hate everything. la la la lala.

and the paranoia is coming back. good times.

so sad. meh. nothing makes sense. i'm contemplating jumping off a bridge. head's up.

love,
useless.

:: 2005 9 December :: 11.05am

ha ha ha ha i'm homie home home home homies.

just hanging out with griffin and tyrone and apollo. it's good stuff.

i love being here so much. i'm all alone all day and i'm watching boston public. best show ever.

i don't even feel sad. i like school, but i'm not overly attached to anything.

:: 2005 7 December :: 11.43pm

my last night in 120 shilling. it's good. everyone is being so cute and nice. i wish it had been like this the whole time. ahh. life.

going home tomorrow. my goodness. i'm so excited.