all things must surely have to end

1 sheila rides | daphne descends

:: 2005 30 October :: 4.43pm
:: Mood: shame
:: Music: lumberjack song

there is nothing better than sitting here with my cat.

:: 2005 30 October :: 12.35am

All the possibilities run through my head, and as much as I want to believe the positive ones, I keep coming back to the most negative and I can't get those out of my head. And it all brings me back to one question...

Why am I doing this to myself?

Thank you for listening to me vent. You keep me sane. I love you honey.

4 sheila rides | daphne descends

:: 2005 29 October :: 10.07pm

i don't know why i can't grow up.

:: 2005 29 October :: 9.40pm

this can't even be happening.

i feel so sick and wrong and exhaused.

5 sheila rides | daphne descends

:: 2005 27 October :: 3.37pm

i'm sorry. i feel really bad.

BUT I AM NOT CAPABLE OF WORKING IN GROUPS.

i cannot do it, even with people i like. even if the project is super hard, i'd so much rather do it alone.

that way i don't have to depend on anyone except myself and then no
on has to depend on me.

and this time i got forced into the leader position. SARAH COHEN is the most aggressive person in this group. . .

so i don't know how to lead people and they don't do what i ask anyway, so what the hell does it matter?

it's painful. excrusiating.

i don't trust anyone to to their own work right (the way i want it) if they even do it at all, so i take all the work and i can and get mad because no one is helping me.

ps-i think i hate my roomate too.

:: 2005 23 October :: 11.27pm

This isn't fair.
I'm getting really tired of this.
I wish things would just work out for once.
I have to stop being such a baby.

2 sheila rides | daphne descends

:: 2005 20 October :: 4.06pm

no seriously. umm i got a job in september and it hasn't started yet. they finally called me yesterday to ask about my availabiltiy and then i call back and there isn't anyone in the office. for two days.

and i can't even work during break. so i'll have like a month of a job and then nothing.

WHAT THE DEAL???!!!!!??!?!?!??!?

5 sheila rides | daphne descends

:: 2005 20 October :: 3.57pm

so i'm trying to be a good person. like not so bitchy and complainy and mean and two faced. i'm annoying myself.

but i feel so spiteful and vindicitve. and guilty. esp. guilty.

i want to go home right now. it's not that i hate it here. i actually like it a lot, but my house sounds really good right now.

4 sheila rides | daphne descends

:: 2005 19 October :: 10.49pm

it's that feeling where you hate everyone, but still want them to love you.

:: 2005 19 October :: 6.26pm

I am so excited and proud.

2 sheila rides | daphne descends

:: 2005 18 October :: 4.12pm

so yesterday started the official sarah is not a jerk era in my life.

i'm doing okay considering.

except that i was just mean to my mom. i didn't mean to be. but now i just feel like punching something big time.

:: 2005 15 October :: 5.22pm

and why do people act so suprised when you do things alone?

i don't want pity. i want silence.

:: 2005 15 October :: 5.15pm

oh my gooooosssssssssh........!

can't you even take a hint? can't you ever stop talking or making noise?

i can't stand your stupid face and voice. you're really dumb and annoying.

can't you just go away?

far far away. go. now. leave me.

1 sheila rides | daphne descends

:: 2005 14 October :: 7.01pm
:: Music: all american rejects-it ends tonight

I'm so bored and sad right now, but I'm not running to Jake.

Take that mom.

:: 2005 13 October :: 11.07pm

I'm really going to do this...

I don't have to be ashamed anymore