This is my live now

:: 2005 21 April :: 6.49pm

damn... I just found out that Parker would have went to prom with me.

I'm sad...

3 comments | leave a comment

:: 2005 14 April :: 3.04pm

It's crazy. I was thinking about last summer and how relaxed everything was. People were friends and people werent friends but they dealt with each other and let things go. Like at davids. I miss that whole free feeling. No worries. I got that in Arizona. That's why I'm moving there. I can't wait. November I'll be gone. It's so weird being here now. My dad asked me this morning if I had any refrets leaving arizona. Yes I do. My dad still regrets not staying in virginia. And that was 30 years ago. I don't want to have that. So I have to go back. If I can't handle it... I'll come back to nothing here.

:: 2005 4 April :: 3.07pm

Hey Everyone. I'm currently in Palamino Arizona. Or something like that. I'm surrounded my teenages and I feel really out of place although I am more tan than all of them! HA! I seriously swim and go hot tubbing every day and it's great fun. Kaleea (that's who I"m staying with) well.. her brother like... touched my ass and stuff eysturday it was pretty weird cuz I don't know. He works out now and so he is really really big. Like.. bigger than any guy I've seen just anywhere haha. It's crazy. Um.. Yeah Well I'm having louds of fun but I have to go because I only have 47 minutes. Oh and I havn't called anybody because they don't ahve a phone yet. TOmorrow though. I'll call some people and it will be loads of fun. I'm gonna go. I'm getting paranoid.

:: 2005 29 March :: 3.07pm
:: Mood: ecstatic

That's it, I leave tomorrow. I'm going to school for half and day and then I'm leaving at noon for Lansing. I'll fly from Lansing to Detroit and then to Phoenix! I'm so excited and nervous. I won't be back until the 10th of April and then I'm suppose to go on a "date" with Parker :) to see Sin City. Tonight I'm going out to Dinner with my family and then hanging out with my Best Friend before I leave... (well one of them). I am going to get going though. I should start packing.. haha.

:: 2005 26 March :: 9.03pm

I went out with my family last night and ended up going on a date with parker. We hung out at meijer with my family and then went to his apartment for a little bit and went to the 11 showing of be cool. It was a pretty funny movie. I didn't end up getting home till about 2 am. Then this morning I had to be up early and at my bro's house. I'm bored now though because I stayed home to eat dinner with them for easter. Parker and Jared were here as well. It was fun.

:: 2005 22 March :: 3.38pm

How was your fucking day?
I hung out with kenny last night. I wasn't feeling too hot so we just sat around in the dinning room and played cards, layed on the couch and drove around. Christy and I RAN OVER a deer... it was already dead in the middle of the road. We so felt it hit the bottom of her car. Pretty scary stuff. Fisher player and sang to me before that and it was way cute. He sang everlong by the foofighters and then daughters by john mayer. I made my mom listen and she was like he sounds like john mayer.. i was like yeah... way cute! Haha.. that's it. How was your day?

:: 2005 19 March :: 9.18am

So, I went to christy's lunch for her birthday and that was really fun. Then I went home for a couple house and left with her again to go to some bars and I told them I would be the desicgnated driver so ryan could drink. We end up hanging out with a shit load of people and I drive around hottie joe francisco (even a hot name). He's a funny and nice guy. Anyways we're at Olivera's with these two older women that are hilarious. We end up leaving and going to gregory's another bar in ionia and there's this lesbian fight and then reconcile where the whole time francisco is likeyeah that woman is fighting with that woman and she's mad and that guy is consoling her.. blah blah. It was cute. We also had a discussion on archetecture and history and also schooling. It was nice. The only thing bad about him? he likes to hang out with his wang out... in girls.. lots and LOTS of girls. I guess I can see why though. And today I'm going to christy's gonna drink some wine and go to a little party at her house. It should be fun. that's all after I take a nap of course..

:: 2005 18 March :: 10.39am
:: Music: let me go - 3 doors down

You love me but you don't know who I am
Last night, my friend fisher confessed his feelings for me. And he completely knows that I don't want a relationship and it's really weird. He asked me over saturday and I told him I was busy... cuz I was. I didn't lie and he was like.. i don't know how that made you think or anything it wasn't like a date because i know you don't want to date anyone, it was suppose to be just you and I hanging out. He said that I was driving him crazy and that he's never felt like that about anyone. The only problem... alcohol. Although he did get a job and he'll be making a shit load of money each week and he said he was gonna buy me stuff.. so I'm okay with that! I don't know. Just a lot of guy situations seem to be happening. Everyone in Ionia seems to be thinking that i am going out with Kenny. Which I'm not. He wouldn't be good for a relationship even if i wanted one. He's just hot. No job, no car, no cares... just skating and sex type activities. That's what he likes to do. Hell, I feel almost the same even. If the thought of a relationship didn't make me sick right now. I honestly don't know what i would do.

and i talked to ron and joey on the phone last night! Hey! haha

:: 2005 17 March :: 6.32pm

I finally finished anna karenina

:: 2005 17 March :: 5.41pm

I am SOOO laughing about this now.

:: 2005 16 March :: 6.19pm

1. Give me your number?
2. Have sex with me?
3. Let me kiss you?
4. Watch a movie with me...even a really sappy one?
5. Let me take you out to dinner?
6. Drive me somewhere/anywhere?
7. Take a shower with me?
8. Be my bf/gf?
9. Have a fling with me?
10. Listen to me if I called you crying even if you were out with all of your friends?
11. Buy me a drink if I didnt have money?
12. Take me for the night?
13. Would you let me sleep in your bed?
14. Sing kareoke w/ me?
15. Go in the doctor's office with me because I didn't want to go alone?
16. Re-post this for me to answer your questions?
17. Come pick me up at 3 am because my car ran out of gas in the middle of nowhere?
18. Do you like my style?
19. Do you think I'm funny?
20. Do you care about me?
21. Would you cry if I died?
22. Would you dance with me?
23. Would you sing happy birthday to me?
24. Would you hold my hair back at a party if I was throwing up due to intoxication? (if my hair was long enough........ i guess)?

:: 2005 16 March :: 3.56pm

I hate relationships. I'm not going to get into one until I move away. Why get attached when you know you're going to leave. Long distance does not work. No matter how hard you try.

:: 2005 14 March :: 7.14pm

My mom told my brother that I like parker and my brother new. BUUUTTT he also said that he would rather have parker date me than anyone else he has before. :) I guess he's been trying to "hook" me up with him.

:: 2005 10 March :: 8.16pm
:: Mood: bouncy

I'm going to ARIZONA!!
Everything is really good now.
I've got great friends, I'm going to arizona for 11 days and I have money to spend while I'm there!

I'm soo uh.. relieved.

:: 2005 9 March :: 3.14pm

All I have to say is. WTF. I mean.. he's been not talking to me since friday. Should I just assume it's over? Or give him benefit of the doubt?

I might see a guy tonight
I might go to the movies with one friday and
My cousin gave another guy my number.

:: 2005 8 March :: 8.08pm
:: Music: on top

it's just a shimmy and a shake an oh ho we're on top
1) Using band names, spell out your name
A~All-american rejects
L~Lost Prophets
L~Live
I~Incubus
S~Smashing Pumpkins
O~Our Lady Peace
N~No Doubt
2) Have you ever had a song written about you? Yes

3) What song makes you cry?
The killers ~ On Top and Boys of Summer ~ Ataris

4) What song makes you happy?
Get Low

5) What do you like to listen to before bed? Taking Back Sunday and The killers.. or Jewel
PT. II

a p p e a r a n c e
HEIGHT: 5'3 1/2
HAIR COLOR: Darkish Brown
SKIN COLOR: Whitish tan
EYE COLOR: Blue
PIERCINGS: Ears
TATTOOS: None

r i g h t n o w
WHAT COLOR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING?: blue jeans
WHAT SONG ARE YOU LISTENING TO?: On top but only in my head
WHAT TASTE IS IN YOUR MOUTH?: salt
WHAT'S THE WEATHER LIKE?: 18 degrees

d o y o u
GET MOTION SICKNESS?: Sometimes
HAVE A BAD HABIT? laughing when I'm emotional or sad
GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS?: Not recently
LIKE TO DRIVE?: Love it

f a v o r i t e s
TV SHOW: That 70's show
CONDITIONER: Brilliant Brunette
BOOK: In My Father's House &/or Anna Karenina
MAGAZINE: Maxim, Cosmo
NON-ALCOHOLIC DRINK: Mountain Dew
ALCOHOLIC DRINK: Smirnoff Ice (raspberry)
THING TO DO ON THE WEEKEND: Sit on my ass now~a~days, it was hanging out with James
BAND/ GROUP or SINGER:The Killers

h a v e y o u
BROKEN THE LAW: Yes.
RAN AWAY FROM HOME: No
SNUCK OUT OF THE HOUSE: Not Mine
EVER GONE SKINNY DIPPING: Yes.
MADE A PRANK PHONE CALL: No sadly
EVER TIPPED OVER A PORTA POTTY: Nope
USED YOUR PARENTS CREDIT CARD: Yes
SKIPPED SCHOOL BEFORE: Yes
FELL ASLEEP IN THE SHOWER/BATH: Yes
BEEN IN A SCHOOL PLAY: Yes
LET A FRIEND CRY ON YOUR SHOULDER: Yes

l o v e
BOYFRIEND: yeah?
GIRLFRIEND: no
CHILDREN: No.
CURRENT CRUSH: No.
BEEN IN LOVE?: yes...
HAD A HARD TIME GETTING OVER SOMEONE: Yes...
BEEN HURT?: Yes, too many.
YOUR GREATEST REGRET: Not being myself and doing what I want.
GONE OUT WITH A SOMEONE YOU ONLY KNEW FOR THREE DAYS: Yes
HAVE YOU EVER GIVEN/RECEIVED ORAL SEX:Yes

r a n d o m
DO YOU HAVE A JOB: No
YOUR CD PLAYER HAS IN IT RIGHT NOW:The Killers, Taking back Sunday, Shut up and LIsten Vol. 1, jewel
IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?: Ice Blue (metalic)
WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?:Brookelynne
WHO MAKES YOU THE HAPPIEST?: Brookelynne
WHAT'S THE NEXT CD YOU'RE GONNA GET?: All American Rejects
WHO DO YOU CONSIDER GOOD FRIENDS?: Rachel, Kaleea
WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO?:Play Bass, and guitar and sing

w h e n / w h a t w a s t h e l a s t
TIME YOU CRIED?:Earlier
YOU GOT A REAL LETTER?: This summer
YOU GOT E-MAIL: A few hours ago
THING YOU PURCHASED: Breadsticks
TV PROGRAM YOU WATCHED: Entertainment tonight
MOVIE YOU SAW AT THE THEATER: Hide and Seek

y o u r t h o u g h t s o n
ABORTION:I don't know, against I guess
TEENAGE SMOKING: I don't do it
SPICE GIRLS: I liked them :)
DREAMS: I don't have any still

:: 2005 7 March :: 7.07pm

Well, it's pretty much set.

I'm going to Phoenix over spring break and seeing how I like things. If I like them then I guess I get a one way ticket to Arizona at the end of may.

We'll see though.

:: 2005 6 March :: 8.58pm
:: Mood: annoyed
:: Music: On top~ The killers

On top is a great song you should listen to it.
Alright so I talked to kaleea for about 2 and a half hours and she really wants me to move in with her. I could live for free and there is a community college right next to where she's moving into. Think about it.. sun.. and sun. Oh god I love sun. The only thing that's bad. Scorpians.

And I've given up in English. Id on't really care anymore. I know I'll pass and it'll be with a B if I don't try. THat's good enough for a community college. So what if it's the first b that I've gotten since 7th grade. I give up. I don't care anymore.