So maybe this time, I'll speak the words of life, with your fire in my eyes, but that old familiar fear is tearing at my words. What am I afraid of?

 

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holiday

:: 2006 15 February :: 10.28pm

I've never been so tired in my life.

have some nuts?


swimfan14

:: 2006 15 February :: 9.36pm

Aww tonight was fun *smiles*.



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holiday

:: 2006 15 February :: 10.06pm

I don't know where to begin.
It's just sad.
People get replaced so fast.
A vendor my dad worked with, a really nice guy, was trying to plan a meeting for them to work out some stuff.
Thursday my dad calls saying he's kind of busy and if they can reschedule it for Friday.
Friday the guy calls saying he's not feeling too good maybe Monday.

Then he dies.

They buried him today.
My dad really didn't want to have to call the company, but they said they'd get someone to fix things.
Someone called 20 minutes later to take the other's place.
My dad felt really weird about deleting the guy's number out of his phone.

I would feel weird, too.
Everyone just gets replaced so fast.

I haven't felt very well today.

have some nuts?


brokenmentality

:: 2006 15 February :: 8.56am

Swirl was wonderful.... except for the whole music part. pshh.. who needs music right? I'm sorry, but if you go to a dance, expect to hear hip hop music, because you really cant dance to much else. a few here in there is fine... but when the majority of the dance is comprised of rock songs, it kind of ruins it. we were really dissapointed when we left. the decorating was sensational though. it was absolutely gorgeous!

before swirl i suprised keegan... finally i SUPRISED the man. (man... hmmm sounds so.. weird...) i told him we were going out for dinner, but i actually had my room all set up with candles and roses and chocolate covered strawberries. i set up a table in the middle of my room with a red table cloth and confetti and "sparkling grapejuice" and wine glasses (because we're cute and LEGAL like that) and i had the note book playing with no sound on my computer just for an added affect. it turned out wonderful. it was the best dinner we've ever had together as far as "romantic" goes. after the dance we came back to my house and fell asleep.... we had to get up early for the rampage game.

then on sunday keegan brought me to bobbys around like 10 (he had to be to the arena WAY early) where i went back to sleep (what a gentleman.... sleeping on the floor so i could have the bed) BUT i couldnt fall asleep because i was to "awake" by that point.. but bobby wouldnt wake up.. so i had a lot of down time. which was nice.

the game was awesome. we had really good seats (free seats i might add) the routine was even BETTER this week. and once again... i have the coolest boyfriend in the entire world. not to mention like a zillion other adjectives that would HARDLY even do him justice.





now... Valentines Day.

first of all, Stacy.... I could just DIE im so happy right now. I just want to squeeze you and hug you and be all giddy and jump up and down and rent laguna. but i'll refrain.


last night was so wonderful. i went home and took a shower, then keegan came over and whisked me away. (giggles... OH and while i was at school i walked into my senate office second hour and there was a flower arrangement with tulips and roses... my favorites.... from the flower pace and chocolates... i was so suprised. i didnt think we were getting eachother anything for valentines day.. then he goes and does that. how sweeet. i was shocked when i walked in there.. it took me a minute for it to click that he had brought me flowers.) we went to this restaurant in Grandville called Kobe, its an Ichibon restaurant where they cook your food right at your table.

when we got there we had to wait like 20 minutes so we ordered sushi.. and OMG it was the best sushi i've ever had. we've had the same kind (philadelphia roll... which has samon, avacodo, creme cheese.. and then of course in a hand roll, rolled in rice... for all you "eewww raw fish" people out there) at terriyaki and sushi.. and this stuff just blew it away! so then we get seated, and you sit around a grill with nine people and he comes out and cooks all your meals RIGHT there. its so cool. he lit the grill on fire to make it hot and it just exploded up into the air.. he cracked the eggs in the coolest way (which sounds nerdy.. but for real), he made a volcano with a pile of onions.. it was just incredible. and holllly cow i've never had food that tasted better in my LIFE. i like fried rice more than white rice.. the guy takes white rice and makes it INTO fried rice right in front of you. it was awesome. you REALLY have to go there and see for yourself. i warn you however, its really expensive... but WELL worth it.

so that was our valentines day.. we were gonna go to Cold Stone.. but they had already closed. nothing big, nothing spectacular.. just us being us.

*smiles... i am by far the luckiest girl in the world. i have keegan.... and nobody else can say that except for me. sure we argue and sure there are times we drive eachother crazy.. but there has NEVER been a time that we even considered breaking up. we're stronger than that. we bring out the absolute best in eachother.

:) you're the greatest.

1 squirrel | have some nuts?


swimfan14

:: 2006 14 February :: 11.30pm

I can't sleep.
I don't even know what to say. I really think you lied to me. It doesn't even make a difference though. You'll get what you wanted. I wont. End of story.

Well I've heard it all before and i'm tired of all the lies.


You definitely dissapoint me. So much.

I guess now I know how you feel.

Sorry.

4 squirrely | have some nuts?


holiday

:: 2006 14 February :: 8.46pm

Turn out the lights. My life, on standby. :-(

This weekend was different. Saturday Charlie and I drove all the way up to Gaylord to go to this restaurant called Legends on the Hill. It's at Treetops resort. Three hours away. It's where I wanted to go for New Years but we couldn't. He said he never forgot. And that felt really nice. When we got there it was totally different than we expected. Freezer paper tablecloths, the works. I just laughed. I don't think we needed a bigger sign that said "We're not from around here". But I laughed. The ride was nice. The talking. The silence. The laughing. Everything. All the gas stations we had to stop at so I could pee. Haha. It's a beautiful relaxing town that looks like Switzerland. I asked him to pull over on the way back so I could give him a ring that I'd gotten him.

Monday I spent the night there and waited up for him to get home from work. I stopped The Big Lebowski and jumped out of bed to greet him at the door with a hug. But he was upset and held on tight.

His mom has cancer.

But I have this feeling and I can't explain it. I've been praying so much for her to get better. I just have this feeling like it's not her time yet. How could I know such a thing? When I told him "It's going to be okay." He asked "How do you know?" And I had no idea. I just feel like how could God take such a wonderful person away like that. Maybe it just doesn't feel real. She has so many people who love her. And a new grand-daughter. She feels that our lives are pre-destined so she doesn't want to get treatment. I don't know. But I feel like she's going to be okay. I hope so. :-(

5 squirrely | have some nuts?


holiday

:: 2006 14 February :: 8.20pm
:: Music: HH- Life On Standby

I need you now, more like yesterday, the last day I could see you smile.
It's felt more real than ever before.
Waiting. Waiting.
Till I could hold you.
I'm sorry. I wish I could take it all away.
I just know
It's going to be okay.
There's too much sadness.
It's going to be okay.

have some nuts?


swimfan14

:: 2006 14 February :: 4.44pm

The things I thought you'd never know about me were the things I guess you always understood.

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stinko

:: 2006 13 February :: 11.02pm

well . . . i played scrabble this weekend like i planned.
but i was pretty much only into it for like the first half.
robby kept cheating. but i had a dictionary at my disposal.
so it was all good.
i still am not sure if i am sane, this weekend did absolutely nothing to get me closer to the truth. blah.
blah.
school sucks.

i need a vacation away from everything i know.

1 squirrel | have some nuts?


tonyp.

:: 2006 13 February :: 10.59pm

well i did a sparrow tattoo on my left leg and im pretty happy to say besides acouple bad lines it turned out pretty good. im happy. tommorrow is valentines day and i have no money to get erica anything. good thing she doesnet care that much. well i just wanted to say i did a good tattoo and hopefully ill get a picture on here soon.

4 squirrely | have some nuts?


holiday

:: 2006 13 February :: 1.13pm

I'm giddy like I used to be. I think that's a good sign. I haven't been giddy in a while. I feel a lot of love.
Today we went to the Amway. It was pretty cool getting to see what goes on behind the scenes. I almost forgot about the tour today. Then I took a test. I think I did pretty well.
~~~
Quit coming up with excuses you're going to blow us all off anyway. You already have.

have some nuts?


eddy

:: 2006 12 February :: 5.58pm
:: Music: John Mayer

Snowcoming!
Woo. Snowcoming was so much fun! XD (TC's equivalent to Swirl) I got a little bummed at then end, as Jessica and Mindy know why, I won't say anymore. But I still had tons of fun =D and now for some pictures!! Yay!! I know, I still have to post some from Spring Hill. Ugh. I'm so lazy T_T

Everyone at Katie's house beforehand

We all went to Chinese to eat before the dance

Chelsea and Alex
Jessica looking confused
Alex choking on his food
Chelsea...being Chelsea
John enjoying his ice cream
Mindy doing the same
Ashley!
Me, you can see John in the rearview mirror, lol
Lauren! With Katie in the background enjoying her ice cream

I seem to have a lot of pictures of people enjoying their ice creams. (yes, ice creams) What does this mean I wonder?

Quote of the evening:
John: "Hey Alex, guess who I saw today?"
Alex: "Ummm (someone's name, don't remember)"
John: "No, you don't know him"

4 squirrely | have some nuts?


tails

:: 2006 12 February :: 4.25pm
:: Mood: aggravated
:: Music: Panic! At the Disco - Prolouge

FUCKING GOD!
i hate sundays so much. nothing to do but be alone and stuck in this house. everyone is always busy on sunday with god or something so they never want to hang so i end up dieing in this house. GAH. anyway so yeah someones a liar...wonder who it is.

11 squirrely | have some nuts?


holiday

:: 2006 12 February :: 3.51pm

Yesterday was a lot of fun. The ride was long but it was nice. :-)
He never forgot. It felt good.
He means more to me than he will ever know.
It was a good day.

have some nuts?


brad

:: 2006 11 February :: 4.14pm
:: Mood: unexpected

20 years old.

9 squirrely | have some nuts?


swimfan14

:: 2006 10 February :: 5.28pm

So I kind of have a differen't Spring Break plan. Lisa and I were going to go to Atlantis in the Bahamas this year but my dad decided that he want's us to go next year and it will be our graduation present so that's next year and he said he'll probably let us go by ourselves if we wait until next year so that's even better. He promised that we can go next year so i'm really excited for that. This year he wants us to stay in the U.S. haha so we are going to Florida. I'm pretty excited for that too. We can't decide which day we want to leave to go there. We have to leave Florida by April 7th because my grandma is going to go to where my family is from (Italy) so yeah she's pretty lucky she's going there.

So I guess that's really all. Spring Break isn't all that far away. I can't wait!!

5 squirrely | have some nuts?


holiday

:: 2006 9 February :: 11.19pm

Today was a really good day. Had some fun with my good ol friend Becca. Took a test that I think I did fairly well on. Talked to my love. He makes me so happy. I played the guitar a lot and actually learned a whole song and it sounds good. I love it. Tomorrow's going to be really nice too. And fun. And awesome. I'm excited. :-) So yeah, that's what's been going on. The other night at work, we did a bridal tasting where all these brides come in, along with all our vendors, and we just make a bunch of fancy stuff. It was pretty neat. We had our Choc. fountain out too. Yummy. Works been going well.
Anyway, that's about it.

have some nuts?


swimfan14

:: 2006 8 February :: 10.19pm

Call me out
You stayed inside
One you love
Is where you hide
Shot me down as I flew by
Crash and burn
I think sometimes you forget where the heart is

Answer no to these questions
Let her go, learn a lesson
It's not me, you're not listening now
Can't you see something's missing?
You forget where the heart is

Take you away from that empty apartment
You stay and forget where the heart is
Someday if ever you love me you'd say it's okay

Waking up from this nightmare
How's your life, what's it like there?
Is it all what you want it to be?
Does it hurt when you think about me?
And how broken my heart is

Take you away from that empty apartment
You stay and forget where the heart is
Someday if ever you love me you'd say it's okay

It's okay to be angry and never let go
It only gets harder the more that you know
When you get lonely if no one's around
You know that I'll catch you when you're falling down
We came together but you left alone
And I know how it feels to walk out on your own
Maybe someday I will see you again
And you'll look me in my eyes and call me your friend

Take you away from that empty apartment
You stay and forget where the heart is
Someday if ever you love me you'd say its okay
It's okay
It's okay

2 squirrely | have some nuts?


tonyp.

:: 2006 8 February :: 7.51pm

chads opening a shop in grant and he wants me to work there. i think this is gona be good for me i think. gona go to colledge, take some art
classes, gona work a real tattoo shop. yea its all falling into the big picture

2 squirrely | have some nuts?


swimfan14

:: 2006 8 February :: 5.03pm

Pictures:

Read more..

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