So maybe this time, I'll speak the words of life, with your fire in my eyes, but that old familiar fear is tearing at my words. What am I afraid of?

 

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swimfan14

:: 2005 20 September :: 5.30pm

Hey. I'm at Lisa's with Emily waiting so we can go to practice :S

We are watching Holiday In The Sun to prepare ourselves for the Bahamas since in the movie they are at Atlantis! We are going to watch it everyday for like a week straight before we go. It will be awesome.

Anyways I have to go get ready.

Love Always, <33

Ashley

have some nuts?

Tails

:: 2005 20 September :: 12.41am
:: Music: Any Thing.

Some day i will die.
Sitting in the grass outside of town staring into a dark and cloudy sky with the wind blowing fierce as hell into my face and my hair going everywhere and slapping my cheeks and pricking my eyes and forcing them to water...i couldnt have been happier. i hate sunny days. i wish every fucking day was cold windy and dark...things just feel better on days like today. so while i was sitting there i kinda thought to myself...what the fuck? i mean like i want to feel so happy and free...and i fucking had the chance...the perfect chance in life to just go and be alive and free....i fucking threw it away....and why? i dont really know. i mean i thought about it later tonight when i was at ihop with sam. why didnt i take my chance and run away to detroit. would it have been coward like to run away from all my problems like that? was i afraid i was going to hurt someone or something? theres no one here who loves me, so im not going to fucking leave anyone behind who would fucking die without me . so i didnt go...obviously and im kinda regretting it...but i also think. i kinda want to really earn my freedom. and quitting my job was the best thing for me right now. the first real step to getting away. im sure you think im fucking stupid for doing it especially with all the expenses i have right now. BUT i dont fucking care. it was the best thing i could have done for myself. im away from that low paying assine time consuming smelly hell. so ive got a couple jobs that look promising god damn i hope one comes through for me soon and fast god please. so yeah hopefully ill get this new job and money will no longer be a problem and for gods good sake ill be able to start saving a little money fucking christ. you know. anyway. so yeah i was a fucking dick to alot of people and i realize that i talk out of my ass alot about issues i dont have place to stick my nose in. im admitting it and stopping it sorry. really i am fucking sorry. and i thank a certain person for accepting the fact that i fucked up and forgiving me today. you know who you are so thanks. and im sorry if anyone else was pissed the fuck off by me. im really sorry. im done with that sticking my nose anywhere i can bullshit. i realize i stay in my life and my bussiness....not yours. sorry. seriously. anyway other than that wow...i suck. and life is still feeling kinda good even though things sorta fucking suck....when it comes to money issues. but yeah ill get over it. sorry bitches. so im rambling now cause im all out of things to say. i love life and all of you. sorry. o and a really big sorry to a couple of folks. SORRY STACY. SORRY JAY. SORRY DERRIK. yeah thats it.

2 squirrely | have some nuts?

swimfan14

:: 2005 19 September :: 7.10pm

oh

my

gosh......

Dance was soooo much fun!


right now my mom is making me type my resume for modeling but I am getting a little distracted.......obviously!!!

have some nuts?

brokenmentality

:: 2005 19 September :: 6.11am

its laguna beach night....

mwah ha ha.. *points at brad and keegan* that means for you guys as well.

i went to bridgeway with my friend becca yesterday... i liked it. next sunday me and keegan are gonna check out res life in rockford. we've been wanting to find a good church... any suggestions.

i dont feel like doing anything this morning.... *cries... i wanna sleep

3 squirrely | have some nuts?

sherriffsteve

:: 2005 18 September :: 11.36pm

Well, in seven months, on April 29th I will oficially be announced as Mrs. Kuhnle. It was beautiful. It will be beautiful.

12 squirrely | have some nuts?

holiday

:: 2005 18 September :: 11.26pm
:: Music: Cursive- Sierra

This song is so sad.
In the desert where the cities are made of gold
There's a girl playing hopscotch, with pink ribbon pigtails
And her mom calls out from an apartment balcony
"C'mon baby, your bath is ready, it's almost time for sleep"
And I wonder who's the father
And I wonder what they call him
Ohhh
Sierra
Does her mother smoke or does she jog every morning?
Does she drink when she thinks about me
Or doesn't she need to drink?
Does she have a man who works from 9 til 5?
Does he come home to kiss that young Sierra, tuck her in, and say goodnight?
And an extra kiss for momma
Ohh...
I want that kiss that kid that apartment.
I'm ready to settle down now
To get that man out of my bed
I want my daughter back now
I want to kiss her tuck her in and say
"Goodnight my baby"
Sierra...Sierra...Sierra...Sierra
I'll never know, now who you are, and I don't deserve to.
Sierra...Sierra...Sierra...Sierra
My little girl, we would've been so...
oh, nevermind.
But I'm ready to settle down now
Yeah I'm ready to leave that wrecking ball behind
I could be your carpenter
And you could be my twinkle in the sky
On that desert sky...

have some nuts?

holiday

:: 2005 18 September :: 11.16pm
:: Music: UnderOath- I'm Content With Losing

"I'm leavin you the way I think it should be..."
-I love this song. AHHH
-I'm addicted to Laguna Beach. I can't wait till Season 2 is out to buy. I will get it.
-I'm going to learn how to play this song. Argh I love it.
-My ex-boss is really annoying. She didn't have my check on Friday and she says "Well I don't have your check ready and I don't have the checkbook or anything..." blah blah blah so I says:
"Well you should have had it ready. I'll be in on Monday."
All stern and such. I'm really cool. Kinda.
-My mom agrees that I will be married soon. It's AWESOME!
-Charlie and I looked at houses in GR Saturday it was fun. :-)
-Maybe baby.
-Classes on Tuesday.
-Tomorrow I'm going to try to get my flippin' check again.
-The whole unemployment thing sucks and I wouldn't even do it if it wasn't just to totally screw her over.
-I get my hair done on Wednesday yay!

That's it for right now.

have some nuts?

swimfan14

:: 2005 18 September :: 5.36pm

I can't say that seeing you didn't hurt...

And I also can't say that it wasn't weird since I never expected to see you there in the first place.

Friday-I went to the game. It was pretty fun since I got to see a lot of people that I haven’t in a while. I told Emily my story and she made me tell 100 other people at the game. Everyone was getting so mad that it wasn't true at the end. I thought it was hilarious. Thanks to Brianna now I know a good story to tell people. I don’t remember what else I did but later on that night Lisa spent the night.
Saturday- I went out to breakfast then I cleaned my room. Kelli came over and we studied for our Anatomy test. Saturday night I went to the movies and seen The Exorcism of Emily Rose. I couldn't stop laughing throughout the movie because this guy next to us was snoring, a guy that was on the other side was coughing for 10 minutes straight, and we were all talking and the girls next to us were getting pissed and that just made me laugh even more at them. Then later on Kelli and Lisa came over.
Sunday- I went to Olive Garden and then I went and seen Cry Wolf. It was way better than The Exorcism of Emily Rose. We were supposed to go see Cry Wolf at 1:45 but I looked at the time for the wrong movie place so we just went to Olive Garden, which works out anyways since I said I wanted to go there this morning. I swear I am getting dumber by the day.

Sometimes I think the person I want the most is the person I'm better off without. We both know it.

Thats how it always is.

1 squirrel | have some nuts?

stinko

:: 2005 18 September :: 5.18pm

for the love of God, there are no polar bears at John Ball Park Zoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anywho . . . college is pretty much like high school. only no one gives you detention for not showing up.
whatever. there are pretty much like five or six people from school that i regularly talk to/see anymore. it's so crazy.

so crazy.

10 squirrely | have some nuts?

tonyp.

:: 2005 18 September :: 10.42am

well yesterday was awsome. i did alot of piercings and made a good amount of cash. me and chad did both of a guys nipples at the same time. some fat slut got her clit and nipples pierced. got to see some awsome bands. there was a girl there who was a fire breather and a fire eater and she was kinda like a stripper to but she didnt take of any cloths and i think the coolest thing of all was i got to see a guy and a girl do a suspension (which is were you put hooks in you then they pick you up by them and swing you around, theres different ways to do it to) i think i might want to try it some day. just because id like to see what they go threw and what they feel because they seemed like the were having fun. id like to try alot of things before i die. well i did pretty good met some cool people and just had a good ass time

3 squirrely | have some nuts?

swimfan14

:: 2005 17 September :: 11.55am

Like this with no spaces

< b >what you want bolded < / b >


I hope you understand Brianna lol

3 squirrely | have some nuts?

jburt1

:: 2005 17 September :: 2.23am
:: Music: reel big fish 'sell out'

Why do I get so depressed when I DON'T drink???

I passed up a night of drinking with Keith (my roommate) and some of his friends. And now I feel like shit. Maybe because they're all having a jolly time and I'm not. Eh, whatever.

Tomorrow night I'm drinking. I think. And I'm telling the girl I like that I like her. I think.

Screw homework. Every once in a while I need to have some fun. I should be sleeping right now because I'm supposed to be up in 5 hours for the AIDS run, but I might go upstairs and hang out with drunken people. Maybe that will cheer me up??

have some nuts?

swimfan14

:: 2005 16 September :: 6.05pm

Bold anything that is true.

001. I miss somebody right now.
002. I watch more TV than I used to.
003. I love olives.
004. I love sleeping.
005. I own a home.
006. I wear glasses or contact lenses.
007. I love to play video games.
008. I've done something illegal.
011. I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
012. I like my handwriting.
013. I have acne-free skin.
014. I like and respect Al Sharpton.
015. I curse frequently.
016. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
017. I have a hobby.
018. I've been to another country.
019. I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
020. I'm really, really smart.
021. I've never broken anyone else's bones.
022. I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.
023. I love rain.
024. I'm paranoid at times.
025. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
026. I need money right now. And probably will for a long time...
027. I love sushi.
028. I talk really, really fast sometimes.
029. I like school
030. I have long hair.
031. I have lost money in Las Vegas.
032. I have at least one brother and/or sister.
033. I was born in a country outside of the U.S.
034. I shave my legs.
035. I have a twin.
037. I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
038. I like the way the I look.
039. I have lied to a good friend in the past 6 months.
040. I know how to do cornrows.
041. I am usually pessimistic.
042. I have mood swings. (sometimes)
043. I think prostitution should be legalized.
044. I think Britney Spears is pretty.
045. I have cheated on a significant other.
046. I have a hidden talent.
047. I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
048. I've been intimate with someone
049. I am currently single.
050. I have kissed someone of the same sex.
051. I enjoy talking on the phone.
052. I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants. (haha never!!)
053. I love to shop.
054. I would rather shop than eat.
055. I would classify myself as ghetto.
056. I'm bourgeoisie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders.
057. I'm obsessed with my diary!
058. I don't hate anyone.
059. I like to dance
061. I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
062. I have a cell phone Instead of a landline... (whats a landline?)
063. I watch MTV on a daily basis.
065. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
067. I have never been in a real relationship before.
068. I've rejected someone before.
069. I currently have a crush on someone.
070. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
071. I want to have children in the future.
072. I have changed a diaper before.
073. I've had the cops called on me before.
074. I bite my nails.
075. I am a member of the Tom Green fan club.
076. I'm not deadly allergic to anything.
077. I have a lot to learn.
078. I have dated someone at least 10 years older or younger.(eww)
079. I plan on seeing Ice Cube's newest "Friday" movie.
080. I am shy around the opposite sex if I have a crush on one.
081. I'm online 24/7, even as an away message.
082. I have at least 5 away messages saved.
083. I say the word "like" alot
084. I have made a move on a friend's significant other in the past.
085. I own the "South Park" movie.
086. I have avoided work to play on OD.
087. When I was a kid I played "doctor" with a neighbor.
088. I enjoy country music.
089. I love music
090. I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
091. I watch soap operas whenever I can.
092. I'm obsessive, anal retentive, and often a perfectionist.
093. I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
094. I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
095. I know all the words to Slick Rick's "Children's Story".
096. Halloween is awesome!
097. I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
098. I have dated a close friend's ex.
099. I'm happy as of this moment.
100. I have gone scuba diving.
101. Had a crush on somebody you have never met.
102. I've kissed someone I knew I shouldn't.
103. I play a musical instrument.
104. I strongly dislike math.
105. I'm procrastinating on something right now.
106. I own and use a library card.
107. I fall in "lust" more than in "love."
108. Cheese enchiladas rock my socks.
109. I think The Lord of the Rings is one of the greatest movies/books ever. (lets try, dumbest)
110. I'm obsessed with the TV show "The O.C.".
111. I am resentful that I have to grow up.
112. I am an entirely different person around different people.
113. I think the world would be a better place if people just smiled more often.
114. I think ramen is one of the best foods in the whole world.
115. I am suffering of a broken heart.
116. I am a nerd.
117. No matter where I am or who I'm with, I always seem to be lonely.
118. I am left handed and proud of it.
119. I try not to change who I am for someone.
120. My heart resides below my feet.
122. I enjoy smoothies.
123. I have had major surgery.
124. I have adopted a pet from the SPCA.
125. I am listening to Radiohead right now.
126. Some people call me by a nickname. (little one and ashmeg)
127. I once stole a music stand.
128. I like pumpkin pie.
129. I love NASCAR! (hate it)
130. I own over 200 CDs.
131. I work 7 days a week.
132. I have mono.
132. I don't have the ability to make decisions without changing my mind.
133. People tell me I have a horrible sense of humor.
134. I'm still in my PJs.
135. I'm looking for love in all the wrong places.
136. I have a tendency to fall for the wrong guys/girls, or have them fall for me, so I can't help but reciprocate.
137. I'll try anything three times.
138. Done drugs other than alcohol or cannabis.
139. I'm having trouble sleeping.
140. I am a cuddler.
141. I love John Waters films.
143. Sloth is my favorite deadly sin.
145. I know all the words to the "Firefly" theme song.
146. I'm in love.
147. I'm a programmer.
148. I can't explain why I'm unhappy at times.
149. I have read all of the Harry Potter books. (ugh. I hate those books)
150. I like to smell my own hair. lol
151. I carry a book with me almost everywhere I go.
152. I have an eating disorder.
153. I have flown to a different country to see a band.
154. Been hospitalized for "mental issues".
155. I have survived totaling a car I was driving.
156. I have been to at least five different countries, not including my own.
157. I make the same mistakes repeatedly.
158. Writing is my passion
159. I sing in the shower.
160. I have at least 4 really good friends.


Thats all for now. Britt, Lisa, and Emily should be here soon. We've got places to attend.

<3Always, Ashley

have some nuts?

brokenmentality

:: 2005 15 September :: 10.52pm

i spoke to soon.

what was i thinking?! it was only 10... i should have KNOWN that there was still time to end on a bad note and go to sleep pissed off. i should have KNOWN that i wouldnt be able to sleep tonight because somebody doesnt care when im upset. but wait... "what was he supposed to say" it wasnt the time nor the place was it? because you were off busy having fun werent you. well ya know what... i dont KNOW what time i'll get around to calling you in the morning. and when you read this late at night when you get home, i hope you're just as upset and pissed off as i am. because there are things you're gonna wanna talk to me about and "you cant" because i'll be sleeping. bummer huh. to bad how that works. how one of goes to school and the other doesnt. ya SORRY i cant answer my phone during class by the way.

goodnight darling.

5 squirrely | have some nuts?

brokenmentality

:: 2005 15 September :: 10.11pm

me and danielle just went shopping.... i didnt know it was possible to laugh so much in one simple trip to the mall.. giggles.

less than 2 weeks.... and then our reign is over. im so sad... but at least im out of denial! laughs.... and i havent had a nightmare in a few nights.... woot woot.

keegans out dancing right now... well practicing anyways. *smiles...... all it takes is his name.. and ughrlekjraslk... i dont even know. every day it gets stronger, everyday he becomes more beautiful than the last... emotionaly, physically, spiritually.... and i love it because we're growing into one relationship instead of 2 different parts of one. and that doesnt even make sence, and i dont even make sence, but thats ok. because it doesnt have to.

i got the CUTEST little boxer shorts from american eagle tonight.. aww.

alright.. off to bed.


SEPTEMBER 25TH DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES COMES BACK!

could i BE any more excited?! *giggggles

2 squirrely | have some nuts?

holiday

:: 2005 15 September :: 10.12pm

Oh my gosh you're right! I DO have a glow.

2 squirrely | have some nuts?

tonyp.

:: 2005 15 September :: 6.11pm

so i went to met the guy who is gona teach me all the stuff i need to know. hes a cool guy, he said its gona be $500 bucks. my dad keeps telling me that im not gona go anywhere with doing this. ive always loved my parents and when they say stuff like that it really makes me feel pretty down. i need more money so i think im gona try to get a third shift job at meijer, try is underlined five times. i really dont have much to lose if i dont get a job at meijer. only five months until ben comes home finilly. then hes done for good, im soo frikn happy, were gona get an appartment together...i think.

1 squirrel | have some nuts?

swimfan14

:: 2005 15 September :: 8.14pm

The O.C. is on right now!!! I am in love with it.

I am pretty sure for Spring Break I am going to Atlantis. It's a resort on Paradise Island in the Bahamas!! Go to www.atlantis.com and that is the resort were probably staying at. My dad is going to get a travel agent in the next few days and I'm pretty sure Lisa is going to come too.

I'm taking dance now. I haven't started yet but I am going to start on Monday. I think it will be fun. I'm only doing hip-hop right now but eventually I will probably do more than one.

My mom called all these modeling agencies that my agency that I work with now recomended us. We have to send out all my comp. cards and resumes soon but I have been so busy. I guess I'm excited that things are finally going somewhere.

Anyways I am getting yelled at so I should go.

Love Always,

Ashley

3 squirrely | have some nuts?

Tails

:: 2005 15 September :: 5.37pm
:: Music: Motion City Soundtrack - Everything Is Alright.

Alright...Just Alright
Maybe this world aint such a bad place after all you know?

I mean there are troubling times, i just got out of 3, so im not saying its perfect.

But maybe its just alright from time to time.

We are all gonna make it through somehow.

Im done worrying so fucking much.

I've made my first big mistake...i was scared big time. but after i fixed it i realize how imporant making those big mistakes is to forming your personality. and now im ready to make some more....just with more insignt this time.

Life Is Good.

2 squirrely | have some nuts?

Brad

:: 2005 15 September :: 8.27am
:: Music: Lynard Skynard - Swamp Music

For some reason, I can't learn from my mistakes. I keep doing the same stupid shit over and over. Anyway, things have been interesting lately..not exactly in a good way but i'm hoping that it all gets better. We've been having our ups and downs..and the downs..are pretty bad. But no matter what, i'll still love her more than anything in the world. When we are having a good time or day together, she's the best girlfriend any guy could have. I have hope that things will start to look up soon.

I'm looking for a new job now. I started looking into art careers, such as forensic artists. That would be sweet. I just want a job that pays well and will keep me happy, and I know that I can find one. I just need to look closer this time.

My hands are freezing, barely numb. I want to go back to bed, but I have to call my temp service guy around 9am.

One thing about me that has been changing lately that most of you dont know, is that I have been reading the bible and going to church regularly for the past 3 or 4 months. It's good for me. I need to be more open minded and have a better understanding of it all. I'm not all churchy now, I just need something to believe in instead of being stupid about it all.

Anyway, let's hope for a good day, week, maybe month!

I love you, Stacy.

Brad

9 squirrely | have some nuts?

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