hey..you..what do you see???

Conscious self	Overall self

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Enneagram Test Results Type 1 Perfectionism |||||||||||||||||| 74% Type 2 Helpfulness |||||||||||| 46% Type 3 Ambition |||||| 22% Type 4 Sensitivity |||||||||||||||||||| 82% Type 5 Detachment |||||||||||||||||| 78% Type 6 Anxiety |||||||||||| 50% Type 7 Adventurousness |||||||||| 38% Type 8 Hostility |||||||||||| 50% Type 9 Calmness |||||| 30% Your Conscious-Surface type is 4w5 Your Unconscious-Overall type is 4w5

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me, currently, is a topic undescribable...
Im thinking awful things, Im pretty sure few would notice

To describe today all in one word... is im fucking possible

Yes, one of those... as always, every fucking day is like that anymore... why? I dont know.

My ear fucking hurts BRAD...little bastard... I restrain my anger around him... well I do that around everyone... Its all inside me... hardly ever is it let out... someday though, someone is going to push me too fucking far... and I will either hurt them or massively hurt myself... I already hurt myself, over everyone else... I wish I could express my anger better than slicing my wrist everytime I am about to break... I know no one agrees with what I do.. but I do it, its just like an adiction to anything else... I cant stop.

That paragraph got rather intense...

It made me happy to see Ellen laughing... I would let Brad do whatever he wanted to do to me if she would laugh like that all of the time... I [heart] you Ellen.... you are the best person ever... and you too Amber... I [heart] you too...

well... I no longer am full of complaints so... I guess I will be leaving...

FUCK YOU!!!
Lindsay, I HATE YOU. You are so fucking fake. You piece of SHIT. You and your "severely depressed" bullshit. Fuck you... what the fuck ever... You have your god damn head so far up Justins fucking ass... you are such a fucking stupid bitch... you piss me off so much. I live to HATE people like you.

Do you really think we give a FUCK? If so, I have a fucking news flash for you, NO ONE GIVES A FUCK ABOUT YOU JUST FUCKING DEAL WITH IT, YOU ASKED FOR IT.... You and your fake as hell self.

I Hate Everything About You

*sigh*
Staind - "Nameless"
The walls around me caving in
Cracked and grey
Remind me of myself, I need some help
There's no one else
I'm empty
Addicted
Pissed off
And still afraid
Of what you
Have left me
To live in
This mess you've made

Dashboard Confessional - These Old Wounds
I've been bleeding well from this old wound
cleaning it with salt so it will still feel new
sometimes eyes turn black sometimes scars are tracks
but everytime youre gone I wish that you'd come back

and everyone watched me waste myself
and everyone cheered at last
all of the founded comforting
its better its me than them

I think im doing well from what they say
if takin both my belts and shoe laces away
but I believe in luck I think I do
but I believe for sure if ever I see you

Alkaline Trio - Stupid Kid
There are things that used to make me smile
One of them was you for just a little while
You left me for dead so far away
I replaced you with fear and shame
You'll be happy on the day I die

There are things that used to make me laugh
But now they're deeply buried in the past
I left them there so far away
Replaced my humor with my pain
I'll be happy on the day it dies

Dashboard Confessional - Sharp Hint of New Tears
On the way home this car hears my confessions.
I think tonight I'll take the long way

You've been asking me to plead;
it seems these kinds of questions come too easy to you now.
Your lack of shame comes naturually.
I should not be surprised.
I should have seen it sooner.
Expect me to apologize for the things that you've done wrong
while you're inciting others.
you're owning up to nothing and I wish that I was gone
'cause you're not going anywhere.

The hint of these new tears are sharp.
I try to choke them back
but it's useless,
I'm useless against them.
They're beating me with ease.

Rufio - Road to Recovery
Well love's a bitch,
relationships end.
What happens now when that person's gone?
The one who you thought you could always count on.
You fall in love and they fall out.
Love is a bitch, all relationships end.

How do i let go of a love that meant so much to me?
How do i go on when you're part of me?
I'm dying inside each time i see you.
Don't lose sight of me cuz you're all I see.
You're still all I see.
This road to recovery has taken all I have.

Staind - See Through
I see thru you
What makes you think that you're god?
I see thru you
Pick up the pieces as i fall apart
I see thru you
Why must you fuck with me this way?
I see thru you
Wither away with me

Betrayed, you left me here for dead
Betrayed, by the voices in my head
Betrayed, left me out in the rain
Betrayed, nothing left but pain
I'm sick of the answers you have to my questions
Your cannibal instincts and false dedications
You leave me here cold, nothing left but my shell
To die while i'm living and burn in my hell

Staind - So Far Away
this is my life
its not what it was before
all these feelings i've shared
and these are my dreams
that i'd never lived before
somebody shake me
cuz i
i must be sleeping

now that we're here,
it's so far away
all the struggle we thought was in vain
in all the mistakes,
one life contained
they all finally start to go away
now that we're here its so far away
and i feel like i can face the day i can forgive
and i'm not ashamed to be the person that i am today

these are my words
that i've never said before
i think i'm doing okay
and this is the smile
that i've never shown before

somebody shake me cuz i
i must be sleeping

The Used - Noise and Kisses
look in my eyes
I'm jaded now whatever that means
by sharing these things
I rip my heart out
it's worth my time
whatever that means...
hard to see up
my neck feels stiff until I wake up
the orange i choked
and back to my neck
it's worth my time
whatever that means....so

share with me
cause i need it right now
let me see your insides
or write me off
cause I'd rather starve now
if you won't open up

give it to me
give me all... whatever you want
it's never been me
to want this much from you
I can see
it tears me up