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2004 15 November :: 10.43pm
:: Mood: stressed
:: Music: gwen stepthani - what are you waiting for
i'm not okay.. i promise.
quizes..
Read more..
2 fake smiles |
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xxinterrupted
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2004 15 November :: 9.39pm
:: Mood: upset
You turn off the tv
And you scream at me
I can hardly wait
til you get off my case
No matter how hard I try
You're never satisfied
This is not a home
I think I'm better off alone
You always disappear
Even when you're here
This is not my home
I think I'm better off alone
Home, this house is not a home
23 fake smiles |
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xxinterrupted
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2004 15 November :: 4.19pm
:: Mood: happy
soooo.. jim's here. :-D yes, i'm happy. yes, i'm excited. yes, my mom is letting me see him. no, i don't know why.
i'm going over his house for a few hours.. i'll update when i get back! be happy for me!
<3
1 fake smile |
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xxinterrupted
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2004 14 November :: 9.36pm
:: Mood: lonely
*sigh*
lets xx hug (9:32:53 PM): i miss you
pouncer was here (9:33:52 PM): i miss you too baby
3 fake smiles |
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xxinterrupted
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2004 14 November :: 3.23pm
:: Mood: helpless
whatever, i feel so helpless. i hate being caught in the middle. i can't do anything without hurting one or the other. i wish things would just be how they used to be.
4 fake smiles |
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xxinterrupted
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2004 11 November :: 10.52pm
:: Mood: sad
And now for my bad day.
I woke up around 8:00.. started my report for child 2, around 10:00 i quit; i'm half done with it. Jim stopped by to give me a paper for my mom, he only stayed for a moment.. he had to go home. Around noon Alisha came over from Christan Charities and gave me some diapers and formula.. after she left I finished getting ready to go to my doctors apointment and to Wal*Mart.
Kelly went with my mom, Sam, Gab and I. We got to the doctors around 1:10.. my apointment was for 1:15. I'm doing good.. healing fine. He said I have a 'tilted uterius'. which isn't bad, it's just that my uterius is tilted up a little instead of laying flatter like most women.. I'm now on birth control..
After that, we went to Wal*Mart. Kelly and I got some really cute clothes and we got out hair cut.. we both look so cute if I do say so myself. huh kelly?! (:
..i have to pee
4 fake smiles |
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xxinterrupted
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2004 10 November :: 11.50pm
:: Mood: depressed
Ask me 6 questions.
Any 6 - no matter how personal, private, or random. I have to answer them honestly.
In turn, you have to post this message in your own journal // OR // you have to answer the questions that are asked to you.
Ask away, even if you don't have a journal.. leave an anonymous note.
10 fake smiles |
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xxinterrupted
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2004 10 November :: 1.14am
:: Mood: crying
i hate when my mom comes in my room like she did a little bit ago and starts telling me that everythings my fault, and that she's in so much debt because i made the mistake of getting pregnant. my "asshole boyfriend" isn't helping with anything.. and that she lost everything [meaning george] because of me the baby and my "asshole boyfriend". and how my dad would be so dissapointed in me, and her because i got pregnant. i don't understand anymore, i just don't understand anything.. i cut my arm; and you know what? i don't even give a fuck anymore.. i don't fuckin' care who knows, or what the fuck anyone says. fuck them, fuck everything.
i'm leaving, i'm not going to ruin everyones life just because i made one mistake.
4 fake smiles |
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xxinterrupted
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2004 9 November :: 11.34pm
:: Mood: upset
what the hell is wrong with me anymore?
i'm sitting here checking my e-mail.. i just started crying after i read an article on breastfeeding babies. "it's so good for them" "it's a bonding experience" "babies grow up healthier" "babies are less likely to be obese when they grow older" okay.. what the hell? i feel so guilty for not breastfeeding, it's my fault if gabrielle isn't going to be healthy when she grows up.
anymore if gabrielle cries, i cry with her. i feel like i'm doing everything wrong. no ones here to help; i'm doing everything on my own, plus i have to take care of the house, school work, my sisters, myself.. and i don't even have a job.. so i have to get my mom to buy everything for me. it's all to much for me anymore, i'm getting so over whelmed, and i feel so guilty for having to ask my mom for everything.
the other night gabrielle was crying and crying because she had a stomache ache, i sat there and said to myself i wish she would shut the hell up. then i realized what i said and freakin cried for like an hour after i got her to bed.
what's wrong with me anymore? i wish someone understood.
2 fake smiles |
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xxinterrupted
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2004 9 November :: 1.40pm
:: Mood: depressed
..i just feel like crying
9 fake smiles |
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