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:: 2008 1 March :: 5.56pm
:: Mood: contemplative
:: Music: Slide - Goo Goo Dolls

What you feel is what you are, and what you are is beautiful..
So just got out of the shower. I smell lots better now. I think I'm going bowling tonight with Kristi and Josh. Sounds like fun to me :)
I'm glad, 'cause I really wanna get out of the house like crazy and hang out with friends. I think I need it. But hey, everyone does once in awhile.
I've been thinking a lot lately, and honestly, I think I might have to wait to go to college for a little bit. I mean, I thought I was going to get a ton more from my FAFSA form, but I didn't at all. I only got about 4 grand that I DON'T have to pay back, and it's a little over 15 grand tuition. I hope my dad went to see if the VA coudl help out, he thinks I'll have the same benefits as he does - which means it would be fully comped. God, that would be so amazing. I mean, I basically have no income and my mom.. yeah, she doesn't much either. So, really, I don't know what I'll do going to school full-time and balancing work, and agggh. It's something I gotta deal with soon, though.
I just want to graduate and not think about high school anymore. I'm so done with the crap.
Anyyways, well, I might have a car soon. It's the one that's been sitting here in the yard for 3 years. The landlord says it needs a battery, and a checkup (we don't know what's wrong with it at all) and then I can have it for 400 dollars, which seems like a really good deal to me. I need a dependable nice one, and it seems like it sooo it's all good. It's a blue Grand Am, nothing special, but it'll run sooner than later. :D
Well, I'm gonna go blowdry my hair and all that junk. Yep.
Good god, Brutis just farted and it reaks so bad in here. I think I'm going to hurl all over the place. Nasty animal.

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:: 2008 25 February :: 9.36pm
:: Mood: tired

I smell like dirty fryers, and I thought I'd let everyone know. I accidently touched my arm with a fry vat at work tonight. I didn't even know I had to work until Steph called me. Thank god she did, that'd of been twice on a Monday that I didn't come in 'cause I didn't know. Ohhh well. 'Least it worked out.
Well, the roads are pretty icy. Maybe we'll have a 2 hour delay tomorrow. That would be sooo nice, I'd love some extra sleep.. or to just sleep in longer than 7 again. Buut uh, Rockford's Rockford. *sigh* I asked for the weekend after this one off, so maybe I'll go to Holland and stay with Leesh or my dad. I dunno, I'm hoping he's feeling okay by then so I can at least stop by. I think I'll stay with Leesh though, just because it'll probably work out better. We need that girly time, with no obligations, no interruptions, and time to just.. do whatever the heck we feel like. Then I can bring the camera along, 'cause Jim will let me borrow it. Ohh yay. That sounds absolutely amazing right about now - what do ya think, Leesh? :)
I'm feeling like that would make me feel a whole lot more alive at this point in time. I feel like the past week or so I've just been dragging on and on through school, work, and basically everything I do. It sucks, I really hate the feeling, but I can't help it. I think it's 'cause I need my medication again, either that or I was so used to it. I haven't gotten it filled for 2 weeks. Oh well, no big deal.
Anyways, Ooh, I also got my v-day present from Chris last weekend (since I didn't see him on V-day.. nor anytime since then) He got me some silver earrings, kissing dog stuffed animals, and a little jewelry box. They're cute. :)
I was excited. I got him a sketch book and some new sketch pens, which I personally wanted, buuut I'll go get one for myself. :) I need new pens anyway. God, I need to DRAW or something. That's what I need. Maybe that will bring me out of my slump. Gotta channel it all into a beautiful piece of art. Mmhm, sounds good.
Leesh - you, me, photoshop, camera, pencils, pens, props, etc.

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:: 2008 18 February :: 1.27pm
:: Mood: determined

Sooo, I'm in the process of convincing my mom to let me buy an iguana. Kinda funny, haha. I knew she wouldn't want me to, but the thing is that I'd pay for it all. :D I dunno, I'm still bribing her on it.
I found a good deal on craig's list. This lady lives in GR, and is selling her 4 month old iguana and everything that she has for her for 60 bucks. Good deal, I think.
Anyway, I guess I have to work tonight? I didn't think I had to, but oh well. It's something to do - and I get paid to do it. Which is alwayys good. I get paid this wednesday again. I don't think my check will be very good though, 'cause I didn't work at all last weekend and I got sent home early both days this weekend. :/ Oh well. as long as I get 100, I'll be content.
My mom and I have a haircut appointment tomorrow, which I'm hoping to god works out. Curse the weather!! I think I'm really gonna cut off all of my dead hair, from bleaching out the purple. :( I'm getting a longer version of a bob haircut, I think. Then I want some purple added in there again, which totally defeats the purpose of what I went through to get it taken out - but hey, what can I say? I miss having my purple. :) Plus, I think I need new sexy hair, haha.

Anyyyway. I guess I'm gonna go. I need to take a shower, and all that fun stuff.

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:: 2008 1 February :: 10.17pm
:: Mood: anxious
:: Music: Dave Gahan - Kingdom

If there's a kingdom beyond it all..
- - - - -
Can you feel me coming?
Open the door, it's only me..
I have that desperate feeling,
And trouble is where I'm going to be.

If there's a kindgom beyond it all..
Is there a God that loves us all?
Do we believe in love at all?
I'm still pretending I'm not a fool.

In your infinite wisdom,
You show me how this life should be.
All your love and glory..
Doesn't mean that much to me.
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That song rings too many bells right now. I mean, it's a great, but in certain ways it brings out so much that I would really rather not think about.
This past week has been a little different. I don't know. Not in a bad way, I guess. Just.. different. I guess that's the only way of putting it, too.
I've really enjoyed all of the snowdays though, they've been much needed and taken complete advantage of.
I'm going to dinner with Jess tomorrow, hopefully. We're going to eat some of the best chicken tenders in Michigan.
I ended up having to work today 'cause one of my co-workers was going to the Kid Rock show. I don't mind, I'm actually glad I got to pick up some extra and much needed hours. But apparently I have to go in at 8 tomorrow morning, because my boss wants another girl and I to start a schedule of doing prep every weekend. *sigh* 8am is just way to early for me sometimes. It seems too close, even now. Oh well. But hey, maybe I'll get out a little earlier tomorrow then. I dunno though.

Sometimes I wish I could do more. Do any of you ever wish that? I'm sure you do. I mean, sometimes I just want to stretch myself beyond my means so much that it brings me down because it's not possible. Sometimes I just wish I wouldn't worry so much. I wonder where I get my worry-wort tendencies from. They're weird.
Man, I'm having one of those days where I keep looking at the words that I just typed and stare at one of them for like.. 10 seconds wondering if I spelt it wrong. Gosh, I think I need to go to sleep or somethin'. I'm being way too critical.

Well, I think I'm going to my wonderful relaxation escape.. aka: the bubble bath.

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:: 2008 28 January :: 6.17pm
:: Music: Dreams - the Cranberries

Wellll..
Hm. I really have no clue why I'm updating because I have nothin' overly exciting to talk about.. as usual. But hey, what the heck? I almoooost have the hang of the Flash program in multimedia class. That thing is definitely not for me. I made the typical flower growing out of the ground, but it's actually kinda neat for my first little clip. I really am not looking forward to doing much more of it, but hey.. gotta do what'chya gotta do.
Anyyyways, I'm taking my last makeup exam tomorrow for pottery. I'm gonna be glad when it's all done. It's really weird getting out at the normal 2:30 time now. It feels like the school part of my day just takes for-absolutely-everrr. 'Cause they do.. err, feel like they do.
I got some of my grades in the mail, and I actually did pretty well for myself. I am actually happy with it for once. Then again, I've actually been concentrating on doing better in school. I mean, hey, it's the last year. I have to have something to show of my time in high school, right?
Soo, I totally forgot to clock out of work yesterday. I really hope they got that message I left them. Oops. Ohhh! oh! and everyone, I had a perfect drawer yesterday in drive-thru. I totally got cookies.
By the way, if anyone gets a chance.. you really really NEED to have a chocolate turnover. They taste like amazing, giant, fudgy, brownies. Amaaazing.

Well, I 'spose that's pretty much it. Yep.

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