ironic...
Now that I can finally get back on this site, I have nothing to say. Semesters shouldn't be too hard (I can fail Biology and still get an A, History's open book, P.E. is running...) yeah, the only thing causing problems is this Odyssey work.... grrr Odyssey...

ironic...
Now that I can finally get back on this site, I have nothing to say. Semesters shouldn't be too hard (I can fail Biology and still get an A, History's open book, P.E. is running...) yeah, the only thing causing problems is this Odyssey work.... grrr Odyssey...

stuff, that which makes us, that which takes us
Well... I just got back from LOTR about 20 minutes ago.... wow, that's a long movie. And today (meaning yesterday) is (was) my dog's birthday. 12 years, another long period. And, I feel somewhat stupid, because I haven't started on my English paper, which is due Monday, and I've had roughly 2 months to work on... yay me. Anywho, I'll probably just lie in bed for the next few hours, and if I don't go to sleep, I'll have a really clear head in the morning. If I do go to sleep.... I'm afraid I might have some really torqued dreams tonight.... that's just how it is, though. Yes, Jessika, just for you. Such is life.

I stole this one from schylar...
Do you drink [alcohol]?: no
Do you party a lot? party hard, but not often
Do you use drugs for recreational purposes? not recently... hehe... iodine...
How often do you use the word like in an average hour?: what do you consider average?
Do you skip classes? nope... nowhere to go
Do you have casual sex? yes with my happy little hand >:P
Do you steal?: really not recently
Do you wear inappropriate clothing?: some may find it that way, but I haven't found them yet
Do you drool over celebrities?: is there something wrong with that?
Do you watch a lot of TV?: not a lot
Do you ever watch the News?: I'm watching it right now!
Do you even care about world issues?: good to know, bad to feel
Do you read books often?: required to.. but yes I do on my own
Are you failing a lot of your classes?: nope... doing rather well
Do you spend most of your time with your friends?: um.. no
Do you smoke cigarettes?: second-hand?
Do you hang out a lot in malls, or at Seven Elevens?: Oh god... I have no money, so I look like a tard there...
Do you often find yourself with a crush on someone?: somoneS is more right
Do you cuss a lot?:whenever I find it necessary... damn poor judgement...
Are you desperate to fit in?: HELL no!
Are you intelligent?: some say that...

The Goth Stereotype
Black lipstick?: not on me
Black eyeliner?: if I were to be Rocky...
Black eyeshadow?: If I were to be Frank...
Black trenchcoat?: nope
Black boots?: *sort of* boots
Black fishnets?: again... Frank thing...
Black nail polish?: thumbs on rare occasion
Cigarettes?: see above smoking questions...
Heavy metal music?: some groups are all right
Marilyn Manson?: ... I just look back at those days and laugh... SHIRLY Manson sounds better...
Kittie?: they're... no
Cradle of Filth?: nope
Constant frown and perpetual angst?: I actually have direction with my anger
Are you an intellectual?: In some sad way
An atheist?: on select days... I'm at least a bad Christian...
Horrible home life?: not horrible, but I'd rather not be here...
Hopelessly depressed?: there's hope yet... depression is a loss of feeling....
Suffering with suicidal idealations?: not for a long time
Self-mutilation?: no

The Punk Stereotype
Plaid?: very few plaid things...
Big black boots?: nope
Mohawk?: no
Excessive piercings? no piercings...
Loud, confident and opinionated?: Loud with friends, selectively confident and opinionated
Wild hair colors?: only the washable stuff...
NOFX?: never listened...
Rancid?: wow... they're the preppiest punk I've heard in a while (strange coming out of my mouth...)
Well versed on political scandals and outrages?: I'd rather sit and laugh than bother to fix it...

The Jock Stereotype
What's your IQ?: better than average
Do you watch a lot of sports?: not a lot
Play a lot of sports?: only soccer now
Talk a lot about sports?: beh
Do you do anything, really, but think about sports?: I do plenty besides sports....
Are you arrogant?: comes with human nature
Are you a male or female whore?: .... most would call me prude...
Are you homophobic?: that would lead to an identity crisis....
Do you tease other people a lot because you want to seem confident?: no, I tease what they say because it all relates to sex...
But really you're a quivering mass of insecurity?: not so insecure now
Boobs = yes?: they indeed exist... but not on my body
Parties = yes?: see above party question
Dropping out of high school and flipping burgers = yes?: I have some dignity within me... It's screaming to see the light of day...

The Girl Stereotype --well this could get strange fast...
Do you spend a lot of time on your appearance?:not exactly
Have you ever been on a diet?: yeah... parent caused...
How much did you lose?: 5 lbs.
Was it not so much a diet as it was an eating disorder?: um... no
Make yourself throw up?: only when I'm sick and know I'm going to do it anyways... best to get it over with...
Make-up?: nope
Low-cut tops?: ... sometimes?... no not really
How big are your boobies? [Cup size]:hmm... I've never tried on a bra before... I'll just say I'm rather flat-chested
Do you flip your hair when you talk, even if you don't realize it?: the *flip* does not work with me...
Giggle a lot?: with certain friends....
What's the deal with boys?: we have a deal? I don't know... some are sexy, and some are not... other than that, we're all just asses...
Thongs?: what about them?
Pretty bras?: boxers?
YM, Teen, Cosmo, et al?: I used to read YM cause Molly took it on the bus...
Who's the weaker sex?: oh... they're both plenty strong....
Are you a feminist?: HEHE.... no
Do you think Brad Pitt is hot?: I can't even think of what movies he's been in....
How often do you shave your legs?: ..... do I have to even attempt... wait... too late... I've attempted to answer the question.... NO!
How about your armpits?: ... why don't you go rub your face in them to find out (although you could tell from across the room)
Are you emotional?: I guess so
Especially when on your period?: I have a period?!?!

This Or That
Originality or Acceptance?: those seem to come together more and more
Independence or Companionship?: I'm happy by myself... but still want a companion
Stability or Freedom?: ... do you mean government or self?
Personal or Interpersonal?: um... both, I guess...
Introvert or Extrovert?: welp... takes special people to make me an extrovert...
Popularity or Isolation?: isolation
Unique or Loved?: don't people love for someone's uniqueness?
Understood or Individual?: I thought I was understood... I was wrong...
You or Them?: it's all about them anymore...

That was fun... anyways....
AARGH!!! THE MASTER SAYS TO STAY AWAY!!!
*it hurts master... stop!!*
I MUST PUT DOWN THE BURGER!!!!
NO!!! IT BURNS!!!!!
*master, please, stop hurting me!!*
OH, I WRITHE IN MISERY!!!

I'm going to do something like that at a fast food restaurant... the master is a cow... hehehe....

quick question:
Why am I still in Boy Scouts if I'm absolutely bored, plus they really don't allow *genderly crooked* folks to be in Scouts.... hmm...

Anyways, I ended up finishing Ordinary People last night too... meaning I read roughly 200 pages in 5 hours *yay me*

And now I need to get back to my impossibly large amount of English homework, which, regardless of what I say to my parents, will not be done by tomorrow...

I have but one small anouncement...
ANOUNCEMENTS anouncements anouncements...
... cut the music....
anywho...
cue trumpets *trumpets sound*
I FINISHED THE ODYSSEY!!!!!!!

thank you...

ehh... it hurts...
I decided I would stop with the driveway now... I'm about halfway through, and if I go any more I think I won't be doing any bowling later... yeah...
So it's off to the Odyssey *ahoy ahoy!!*

snow=pain
I'm so tired of shoveling our driveway (and I'm less than 1/4 of the way done..) I'm really the only one awake that can shovel... grr...

eh....
I have so much crap to get done by monday... I've got to finish the Odyssey.... along with create a study guide for it, finish Ordinary People and fill out the survey for it and Andromeda Strain, get all the service learning project crap finished, catch up on all the objective journal entries, memorize my music for district, make sure I don't get in anyone's way, and find a little sanity to hold onto (just so hard to come by these days...)
I don't even know what I'm doing on the computer right now, because I'm generally screwed over anyways... maybe that's why, because I'm so sold on the fact that I can't win this time... You know the little *ghost hunter under glass* moment in 13 Ghosts... yeah, that's about how I'm feeling... AAAAAAAHHHH!!!
shit... I can't even do that... no no, can't let the family know that things are falling apart... that would be terrible...

damn... just can't even say it now...

well... I'm following the crowd again... these are what my recent dreams have been about:

Me and some other people have been flirting in the back of minivans and at various sporting events.

isn't my life exciting..?

stuff...
"The Reasons Behind" -me
Walk into the bathroom.
Flip on the light.
Everything's a dayly routine to you.
Take a piss.
Rinse your face.
Run your hands through your hair.
Must be fixed.
Then you squint,
Everyday that squint.
Always looking,
Want to know your eyes.
Say some stupid remark
A farewell to me.
Turn off the light.
Leave this world.

Inside the bathroom.
Looking at my eyes.
Practice for the future.
Must know what they're thinking.
That's the real expression.
That's what they'll never hide.
I can see what you want,
But only when the orbs are present.

Sit down, take a glass.
Pick a tissue, dry her tear.
Talk a little.
Learn a little more.
Try to seek the answer.
Work to help the future.
Making true progress now.
She's recovering.

I look deep in his eyes.
I want to know what's happening.
What does he want,
These questions mean nothing.
I can't let him do this to me anymore.
It all must stop.

Staring in your eyes
To see what's really there.
Scared of me,
What did I do?
So careful in the work.
How did it all go wrong?

You're so stupid.
You look at me every day.
I thought it was obvious;
We're so alike.
You stare at me.
And I stare back.
Staring in your eyes
To see what's really there.
Naiivity every day.
Never changing.
It's the reason behind
All the insecurity.
All the lies.
All the truths.
All the standstills.
All the beauty of life.
Look a little closer
At the reflection next time.
You just might learn
What you always searched for.

yup... today was a waste
I feel like I'm a waste of good space today... my mind has been totally idle... ok, that's a lie, I'm a guy, and horny at times... but other than that... yup there was no meaning for today. And usually I would take these days for granted, but the whole holiday season has been like this... Plus there's the ever constant *you should be an atheist* conversation going in my head, along with the general hush hush of a world not ready to meet the reality of today all in my head. This is sounding like a repeat of the last post... yup... absolutely no meaning for today.

"Cause in my mind
You were never less than perfect baby, and
In my mind
You were never less than great so tell me
Where the hell am I supposed to
Put all this perfection
When it's perfectly and squarely
In my way..."

whatever it takes is on...
Wow... I wasted away the day... I really should be doing my reading, but I'm not that smart.... I took that death quiz... (depending on my name) I'd either die of natural causes, or be murdered by the same phantom that killed michelle... yay me...
eh... I don't want to do anything... I really don't want to go back to school. Sadly, this is the first year I'm dreading to go back... I really don't like many people in my classes right now... And honestly, I keep too many things quiet that need to be shouted to the winds and scattered about the earth... but they're not, there inside this sad twit sitting in a desk at CMR... It was a lot easier last year... And I don't want to go to GFH either... because to be honest, I always thought of that school as causing people to become total asses to those outside their world... that's life though

THE HELL TEST!!!!
The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Eigth Level of Hell - the Malebolge!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	High
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Moderate
Level 2 (Lustful)	Moderate
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Very Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Moderate
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante's Divine Comedy Inferno Test

Last time I was treacherous... this time I'm a pimp... where is my life going?? :P