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2004 15 November :: 4.19pm
:: Mood: happy
soooo.. jim's here. :-D yes, i'm happy. yes, i'm excited. yes, my mom is letting me see him. no, i don't know why.
i'm going over his house for a few hours.. i'll update when i get back! be happy for me!
<3
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2004 14 November :: 9.36pm
:: Mood: lonely
*sigh*
lets xx hug (9:32:53 PM): i miss you
pouncer was here (9:33:52 PM): i miss you too baby
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2004 14 November :: 3.23pm
:: Mood: helpless
whatever, i feel so helpless. i hate being caught in the middle. i can't do anything without hurting one or the other. i wish things would just be how they used to be.
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2004 11 November :: 10.52pm
:: Mood: sad
And now for my bad day.
I woke up around 8:00.. started my report for child 2, around 10:00 i quit; i'm half done with it. Jim stopped by to give me a paper for my mom, he only stayed for a moment.. he had to go home. Around noon Alisha came over from Christan Charities and gave me some diapers and formula.. after she left I finished getting ready to go to my doctors apointment and to Wal*Mart.
Kelly went with my mom, Sam, Gab and I. We got to the doctors around 1:10.. my apointment was for 1:15. I'm doing good.. healing fine. He said I have a 'tilted uterius'. which isn't bad, it's just that my uterius is tilted up a little instead of laying flatter like most women.. I'm now on birth control..
After that, we went to Wal*Mart. Kelly and I got some really cute clothes and we got out hair cut.. we both look so cute if I do say so myself. huh kelly?! (:
..i have to pee
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2004 10 November :: 11.50pm
:: Mood: depressed
Ask me 6 questions.
Any 6 - no matter how personal, private, or random. I have to answer them honestly.
In turn, you have to post this message in your own journal // OR // you have to answer the questions that are asked to you.
Ask away, even if you don't have a journal.. leave an anonymous note.
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2004 10 November :: 1.14am
:: Mood: crying
i hate when my mom comes in my room like she did a little bit ago and starts telling me that everythings my fault, and that she's in so much debt because i made the mistake of getting pregnant. my "asshole boyfriend" isn't helping with anything.. and that she lost everything [meaning george] because of me the baby and my "asshole boyfriend". and how my dad would be so dissapointed in me, and her because i got pregnant. i don't understand anymore, i just don't understand anything.. i cut my arm; and you know what? i don't even give a fuck anymore.. i don't fuckin' care who knows, or what the fuck anyone says. fuck them, fuck everything.
i'm leaving, i'm not going to ruin everyones life just because i made one mistake.
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2004 9 November :: 11.34pm
:: Mood: upset
what the hell is wrong with me anymore?
i'm sitting here checking my e-mail.. i just started crying after i read an article on breastfeeding babies. "it's so good for them" "it's a bonding experience" "babies grow up healthier" "babies are less likely to be obese when they grow older" okay.. what the hell? i feel so guilty for not breastfeeding, it's my fault if gabrielle isn't going to be healthy when she grows up.
anymore if gabrielle cries, i cry with her. i feel like i'm doing everything wrong. no ones here to help; i'm doing everything on my own, plus i have to take care of the house, school work, my sisters, myself.. and i don't even have a job.. so i have to get my mom to buy everything for me. it's all to much for me anymore, i'm getting so over whelmed, and i feel so guilty for having to ask my mom for everything.
the other night gabrielle was crying and crying because she had a stomache ache, i sat there and said to myself i wish she would shut the hell up. then i realized what i said and freakin cried for like an hour after i got her to bed.
what's wrong with me anymore? i wish someone understood.
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2004 9 November :: 1.40pm
:: Mood: depressed
..i just feel like crying
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2004 8 November :: 3.04pm
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: the house of mouse on tv.
please vote!
i re-did my journal again.. VOTE!!! tell the truth, there's no way i know who voted!
Read more..
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2004 6 November :: 10.04pm
:: Mood: okay
:: Music: Law and Order SVU
so bored.
Yesterday Jim came over.. he stayed for a few hours.. we watched The Day After Tomorrow or something like that. He left around.. uhhh- 3:30 am or so. I don't really remember. Today was boring- I didn't do anything.. so here are some quizes. I'm very bored anymore. Nothing good to write about.
 
Read more..
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2004 5 November :: 12.19pm
funny convos.. more will be added all the time.. i need somewhere to keeep them, 'cause they make me laugh.
Read more..
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2004 5 November :: 12.38am
:: Mood: tired.. but i can't sleep
I AM 59% ASSHOLE/BITCH!  I am abrasive, some people really hate me, but there may be a group of other tight knit assholes and bitches that I can hang out with and get me. Everybody else? Fuck ‘em. |
yay.. everyone take this test, and leave a note with your results! yayyyyyyy.. wow, i'm bored.
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2004 4 November :: 7.13pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: ciara feat. petey pablo - goodies
blah blah blah.. i've been thinking. what makes jim stay with me? i mean really..
i'm a bitch to him all the time, so is my mom. the other night i yelled at him for something so stupid.. okay? still he's nice to me and everything. i mean why would he want to be with me.. i have a baby. we'll it's his baby to, but he can leave any time he wants. i told him that.. we've definitly been through our rough times and i've "broken up" with him plenty of times.. but none of it ever lasted. he would always call back or come over and we'd make up. i don't know; maybe he really does love me.
<3
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2004 3 November :: 9.45pm
:: Mood: creative
so i just got done updating my profile.. want to see? click here.
yesterday was the free prime rib dinner at the bar.. jim and his mom came, they ate with kelly and i.. donna went to get jeff then he came back to the bar and he ate some wings, then she took gabrielle and i home around 11.
tomorrow i'm gonna try to go over jims.. but i don't know, it depends on if my mom stays home the whole day or not. *sigh*
bush won.. woohu.
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2004 2 November :: 11.19pm
All I have to say is..
GO BUSH! Kick Kerrys ass!!!
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