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2003 14 November :: 8.34 pm
:: Mood: happy
I had a good day today it was short cuze we had this fucking stupid "WINTER SPORTS ASSEMBLY" me and alexis just sat there and kept laughing at all their dumbass shit...fuckin hillarious, she turns to me and goes" dude if we were cheerleaders we would be nasty ass ones...with all our sick dances and cheers..." so we have decided towards the end of the year we r gonna go to school as goth cheerleaders wit our hair black and heavy black makeup and a black cheer outfit and black pom poms...it'll be great I hope we can find the shit we need. I have a new boyfriend, his name is Sam and hes wonderful =)
Give Me Happiness |
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2003 8 November :: 3.25 pm
:: Mood: melancholy
Hey everyone sry I haven't written in here for awhile...last ngiht kicked ass me and my family and Alexis (my best friend) went out to Scottsdale and ate a shit load of Mexican food, I feel really fat lol. Todaay me and my mom went to PV Mall and I got a Slipknot hoodie and some jeans =) it pissed me off though cuze I wanted to go to Tower Records and get the Green Book Cd by Twiztid *sigh* but we couldn't so now I have to wait another damn week gggrrr. Ok well I am gonna go my mom is nagging me to get off so she can use the phone and I am gonna watch Hollywood Homicide with my lil sis Emily. Later.
Give Me Happiness |
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2003 5 November :: 7.32 pm
:: Mood: calm
:: Music: Wakefield-Infamous
Ku Ku Kachoo
Injected Paradise-
I wanna get away
I dont wanna know my life
I dont wanna know me
I dont wanna know anything
I want to be free
I want to not worry about anything
I want to know what its like to be happy
Even if it means a few hours
Pierce my skin with the needle
Let it flow into my veins
Let is show me what its like
To be happy once again
Inject it into my blood
Let it take over me
Nothing can touch me now
Nothing can hurt me
I feel like I'm floating
I am flying away
I am not myself anymore
I am actually alive
Injected paradise
Show me what its like
Show me life
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tell me whut ya think of the poem...
2 More Pills |
Give Me Happiness |
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2003 3 November :: 5.14 pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: Madonna-Dont Tell Me
Hola everyone was shakin? UGH I HATE MONDAYS! *sigh* oh well I had a good day today, nothing bad happened and it was a fun/funny day lol. I have like no homework tonight! SCORE! aw ya woot woot, those dumb fucks always give my classes soo much homework, but I got most of it done so its all good =)
Song: I'll Fly Away Lyrics
Some glad morning when this life is o'er,
I'll fly away;
To a home on God's celestial shore,
I'll fly away (I'll fly away).
[Chorus]
I'll fly away, Oh Glory
I'll fly away; (in the morning)
When I die, Hallelujah, by and by,
I'll fly away (I'll fly away).
When the shadows of this life have gone,
I'll fly away;
Like a bird from prison bars has flown,
I'll fly away (I'll fly away)
[Chorus]
I'll fly away, Oh Glory
I'll fly away; (in the morning)
When I die, Hallelujah, by and by,
I'll fly away (I'll fly away).
Just a few more weary days and then,
I'll fly away;
To a land where joy shall never end,
I'll fly away (I'll fly away)
[Chorus]
I'll fly away, Oh Glory
I'll fly away; (in the morning)
When I die, Hallelujah, by and
Give Me Happiness |
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2003 2 November :: 3.01 pm
:: Mood: good
:: Music: Tool
Good Websites
Here are some REALLY REALLY KICK ASS dark websites I thought you guys might be interested in...
www.darkness.com-dark stories, poems, etc.
http://www.darklinks.com/-hundreds or dark links
For those of you who cut, have depression or are bi-polar this is the BEST webite
http://www.ruinyourlife.com/ThePage.htm
Enjoy...
Give Me Happiness |
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2003 1 November :: 4.36 pm
:: Mood: good
:: Music: Pink-Like A Pill
Halloween
Hey people, hope you all had a good Halloween. Mine was alright, I'm grounded so I couldn't go out but Ally came over and we chilled so that was cool. Its kinda sorta raining, YAY! I love the rain =D
Give Me Happiness |
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2003 30 October :: 8.28 pm
:: Mood: gloomy
Hi ppl...thought I would update this thing and kinda "vent" if ya wanna put it like that...I am depressed...having one of the depressed spells again...I've been really sad lately about guys, I really miss having a boyfriend and stuff, I went from having tons of bfs in Middle School to having none so far in High School, I guess since I am darker this year and the guys at my school dress in Hollister and American Eagle stuff , I guess they dont wanna date a "goth girl" they want a barbie, a fake lil thing that prances around with her lip gloss and cell phones in these huge ass sandals that no one can walk in and there Abercrombie and Fitch clothes...we have like 5 goths? and they are all older and taken...and then the ONE guy I like...ya I dont think he likes me...we r friends and he talks to me everyday but I doubt he would ever date me...I mean I consider myslef okay looking...well maybe more than okay but I dont wanna sound conceeded, I am short like 5'1 blonde long hair, not a twig but not fat, just rigtht I guess, aqua eyes and big (annoying) boobs lol...the only things I would change about myself is my nose cuze I think its too big and I dont like the stupid fucking bumb, and I would make my lips bigger and I think thats about it? I dunno it just pisses me off that these fake girls get boyfriends and then all the girls who r real dont get a lot, like most of my friends have bfs, maybe thats also y I am sad cuze my friends are in like in love with great guys and they talk about them a lot...and then I dont have anyone, no one to hug or hold hands with and kiss like I use too...maybe things will get better, at least I hope they will I guess, sry to bore you ppl, just wanted to get that off my chest...
1 More Pill |
Give Me Happiness |
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2003 29 October :: 8.11 pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: Piano Music
Cmon ppl, you guys r suppose to 'comment' I need links for godsakes, but do i get ONE FUCKING COMMMENT...of course not...sigh. I had a bad day and I get on to see if anyone...ANYONE...has posted and links and theres NONE. I'm so hurt =( ok anyways enough of my psycho ramblings...ya my day suxed, got yelled at by some of the teachers for wearing a "reavling" shirt, I cant help that I have boobs jezze and nothing was showing, stupid fucks. I also have the worst cramps in the world =( ooowww
I had the worst dream last ngiht, I dremt my mom was crying and saying how she wanted to commit suicide and how I should do it with her and how life was horrible, but I was to scared because in my dream I had said I had not finished living my life and some things I wanted to do weren't done yet and I was crying. It was so scary...now that I look back on all the times I told myself I wanted to die I am glad I didn't...my life suxs and I have depression but I always imagine one day being the happiest person in the world...but I guess I still have to wait for that day to finally come.
2 More Pills |
Give Me Happiness |
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2003 27 October :: 9.04 pm
:: Mood: thirsty
Need Goth Graphics
I am so bored, theres almost no one online whos not idle. I am so thirsty too, I am debating if I wanna get up and get me some pepsi or if I should just stay sitting. I keep looking for good gothic/dark graphics and I cant find very many, if any of you guys know any good websites for that and gothic poetry can you please post the website? I would appreciate it sooo much damn much!!!
Give Me Happiness |
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2003 26 October :: 1.02 pm
:: Mood: lazy
LA LA LA
Heres a really pretty poem on cutting that I found, if any of you self-mutilate your selves
or have depression or are bi-polar go to http://www.ruinyourlife.com/ThePage.htm this site kicks ass, its got art and poems which is where I got this one...
Cat Scratch
It hurts so much inside my head,
Some times I think it's worse than being dead.
Doubts and fears scream inside,
Playing with emotions I usually hide.
I feel the tension begin to load,
A pain so hot, I fear I'll explode.
My C.Ds playing, screaming out lyrics of their fears,
There a relief to being alone, no need to hide tears.
Guilt is echoing in my mind, making me feel worse than bad,
A silent wish is spoken, why can't I have a reason for feeling depressed and sad.
The word selfish rings in my ears, the lack of explanation for my mood,
The obvious fact that I have no excuse for being hurtful and rude.
It's all the little things in life that begin to be build up,
The confliction of emotions that threaten to seize me and erupt.
I don't feel the pain,
Even as I cut dangerously close to my vein.
Everything freezes and sort of goes numb,
I watch unblinkingly as the blood runs down my thumb.
A satisfied smile creeps over my face,
A mad like ecstasy is unleashed to give chase.
This is my nirvana and I know it's insane,
But it's a safe hold inside that shields me from all the pain.
Later when im asked 'what's that,'
I'll reply with a brave smile, it's just a scratch from the cat.
I wish I had thought of that answer for when ppl asked me whut my cuts were...
Give Me Happiness |
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