jordanmackenzie7
|
::
2011 13 December :: 8.58am
I love waking up in the morning to the smell of baby shit...
Ya know, a lot has changed for me over the course of the last year and half or so. Not that that isn't the case at any given point in our lives, but even more so in the past year and a half for me. I finally became a person I like looking in the mirror at. And that's saying something, considering the majority of the time when I look in the mirror I see baggy eyes, unplucked eyebrows, and pasty skin. When I look down at my naked body all I see is my toes protruding from behind a too-big tummy ravaged by scars... Scars from carrying the most beautiful baby boy I've ever seen, scars from a surgery necessary so an i.u.d. didn't kill me, pudge from making my son a good home while he grew inside of me. When I look at these "less than beautiful" attributes about myself I am not ashamed. I'll poke some fun and myself for not working off the baby weight and move on with my day. Because my days are now filled with a totally different kind of fun. This is the closest to being a carefree kid I've been since I was a carefree kid. By no means am I careless or carefree, but I feel a sense of innocence surround me that I haven't known before in my life. Haevin does that for me. He makes every difficult time worth it's weight in gold, and then some! Am I a perfect mother and wife? Hell no. But I try, and I am pretty happy with who I am. Even better is that I don't really care who I am to anyone who doesn't matter. If they don't like me, tough shit. The people who are closest know what I stand for, and so do the strangers. If they don't like it... they can take a hike!
Onto my main point. I love the little things in life. I love waking up in the morning to the smell of baby shit. It means that my son is healthy. Yeah, it stinks. But it's a life-affirming sort of stench, lol. I get sick of reading about people who are so focused on "getting there." Life is a journey. It's appreciating everything, the good and the bad. It's not a race to the finish line. If you ever make it to that finish line you better plan on croaking the following day, because that's about it son. When you've stopped learning and caring, and appreciating, your time has come.
This morning I was paid a very nice compliment by my sister on my Facebook page. She said she loved me and was proud of the person I'd become. That really made my day. That someone else can see and appreciate my growth even though it has little, if not nothing to do with them is very refreshing! I have some amazing family to be grateful for. Life is good. And if you haven't realized it yet, start looking for your bliss. Because there will always be negative things in your life to focus on. If you allow them to consume you, you will spend your life miserable. This, I promise you.
So, as corny as it may be... Be the change you want to see in the world.
Rant concluded!
comment damnit.
|
rayray
|
::
2011 11 December :: 10.16pm
I need to vent, while my child is screaming it out by herself.
At my house, its not considered "cry it out".. It's screaming it out, or being murdered. She has a set of lungs, and doesn't let up. Like at all. Ever. She doesn't know how to self soothe. She screams bloody murder, and would go on for HOURS and probably days if I let her. She is stubborn. I'm scared she's going to choke on all the saliva/snot she makes from all the screaming, or when she gets to the point where she throws up. Luckily, she always seems to throw up on the floor and not in her bed or all over herself.
From January to November, once she was asleep at night, she wouldn't wake up til about 8ish.. Once in awhile it would be a little early, and then it started getting later.. And I had her going to sleep in her own bed, on her own. Since the time change/her first birthday, she was waking up between 6 and 7.. Once I got her to sleep til 8 or later, she has been waking up a million times during the night. When she is in her crib, awake, she screams bloody murder like she is being attacked. She could be dead asleep, and the second she touches the mattress in her bed, she is screaming so bad, her body stiffens right out.
I can't seem to win. And now Mike is on 3rd shift, so I have to get her to sleep before he goes to work, otherwise it'll be 10 times harder to get her to go to sleep..
So far, she has been screaming for 12 minutes, and Tyson keeps whining and barking like he needs to go protect her.
I feel like a bad mom for complaining about my child, but I miss sleep. Good sleep, where I don't wake up a million times, or in pain from having to make room for everyone else and sleeping all funky.
22 minutes later, she is still screaming, but not nearly like she was.. And a half an hour ago, she was passed out in my bed and had been sleeping since 9..
6 commentscommentses |
comment damnit.
|
tuwang
|
::
2011 6 December :: 2.08am
never met the bitch but I fucked her like I missed her
comment damnit.
|
|
tuwang
|
::
2011 6 December :: 2.02am
DJ Cupps in the mix... rockin the 1's and 2's
1 comments |
comment damnit.
|
acidtears
|
::
2011 4 December :: 4.37pm
:: Mood: happy
Susie Home Maker <3
It's official, let the inevitable happen. I have become more domestic and wifey :) And you know what, I don't mind one bit. I honestly don't mind doing the housewife thing, I actually really like it. I'm surprised, I have actually caught myself wanting a recipe book for Christmas. Not one already filled with recipes, but one I can build as I go along. I want to cook, which is odd considering I've never had the urge to do so in the past. I'm eager to learn so that way I can be a good housewife. I don't know, it's a change from the way I was as a teenager, and I like it alot. Mood: Happy, Content, Joyful, Loved, Good in general :)
6 commentscommentses |
comment damnit.
|
phil-himself
|
::
2011 2 December :: 11.36am
Sometimes I like to sport a hearty rager and try to get people to look at it.
4 commentscommentses |
comment damnit.
|
|
jordanmackenzie7
|
::
2011 1 December :: 8.40pm
I am extremely lonely. I am so grateful for Brenton's job, but I miss him.
2 commentscommentses |
comment damnit.
|
|
tuwang
|
::
2011 28 November :: 11.30pm
Well... now that there's a hole in my door I think moving out is the only option I have.
1 comments |
comment damnit.
|
spud
|
::
2011 27 November :: 4.16pm
so, friday didn't go very well. i still enjoyed myself, to a certain extent, but it definitely did not go like i had hoped. i just have too much faith in people being open-minded. i really need to learn to keep my trap shut, because not everyone is as accepting of differences as i am. or as tolerant of stupid shit.
--------------
thursday was fine. there was food. the lions lost. my family sat around. the highlight of my evening was playing liar's dice with the alspaugh guys.
last night was fairly epic, if uneventful.
and i got my scooter fix for the weekend. so that's good.
comment damnit.
|
valoth
|
::
2011 26 November :: 1.01am
Seriously?
Wow. Just...wow. This totally just broadsided me.
I hate fb so much at times. Most the time.
This is one of them.
A picture of the person I like(read: Im trying not to like) with someone who was a friend online entitled "ha".
Hows that for a big "Fuck you" moment? I feel insulted, jealous, irate, and put-off. How can I not?
Im angry that the plan changed, that things between us changed, and now this...
"Nails in the coffin" of the issue is how I feel about the you and these issues. I get riled up about this whole thing very easy because of my current mental state. Its very low fyi. Though in my defense being alone all the time can do this do a person.
Im so cynical all the time and thinking every ones out to cut me down. Today Im right. Today I am being cut down and someone is trying to push my buttons.
Can I curl up in a ball now? Id love to do that about now.
6months ago, I pictured this going so much differently. Now that Im here I want to rewind the tape, give the middle finger to it all, and just move on.
|
|
tuwang
|
::
2011 25 November :: 12.54pm
Thanksgiving was good with the exception of the reffing in the lions game. What the fuck was that? I guess if Aaron Rodgers can't actually produce the yardage to get to the red zone you have to give it to him.
whatever.
Other then that everything is gravy :)
I dont' think I've ever been this full in my life.
Is someone really going to hire me?
1 comments |
comment damnit.
|
|
valoth
|
::
2011 24 November :: 10.59am
Fuck holidays.
Im mad that you havent come to vie for my attention! Grr! I hate it.
I need to fix this, but I cant myself to have the words on how to do that.
Whats worse is that even if I do fix this, will it be fixed so I dont keep wallowing in that strange territory that you put me into.
Do you even understand my side of things in the slightest? Do you even try to understand my side?
|
|
phil-himself
|
::
2011 23 November :: 11.35am
I may retire from this site.
7 commentscommentses |
comment damnit.
|
|
phil-himself
|
::
2011 22 November :: 10.48pm
Meanwhile at DSI, things are ok.
comment damnit.
|
|
