I LOVE YOU GUYS TOO!
thanks for making me feel good.... i have a wonderful bunch of friends.. on the other hand there are people ( not mentioning any names) that i wish would stop pretending and show the real them... the are going behind their friends back and hurting them. it makes me cry on the inside ( i dont cry on the outside :))

on another note how do you open up to a boyfriend... you know let him in on all the corny stuff you write in your journal? ii dont know how to tell tj how i feel...errr im confused oh well i always am so im used to it

"the scars remind us that the past is real"
ok so i just fell in love with this song its awesome... too bad i don't have the cd...yet...that is... but yeah my new years went good cept my wonderful boy toy spillin his beer all over me so i had to go home smelling of alcohal but its ok i got to my room b4 she could see me so its ok...the one thing is i didnt get all i wanted too ( if you get what im saying) hehe. so i want my boyfriend...ALOT... its supposed to be that way... i think i have gotten over that one thing that was holding me back ( mentioned in previous entrees) and i can now do watever the hell i want. besides that... i hope everyones new year went well.. my new years resolution-to eat healthier and not be so angry all the time... this is going to be extremely hard due to the face i have a really bad temper those of you who know me understand what i am saying... franz ferdinand just came on yay i love these guys... TAKE ME OUT!! the only thing bout new years that sucked was i couldnt drink one damn thing.. i had to "drive" home... erica ( tj's sis) her bf downed like half the bottle of jack and bout died it was funny... i laughed but its all good right

me doggie in the car
me n my mom went and cleaned the last of the old house so the appraiser could go in there. my neighbor's son is going to buy it... i think i breathed in a lilttle too much bleach my head is a lil woozie. no more cleaning products for me. i guess the movie thin gis off cause tj wants to go just us which is ok, no of yall wanted to go anyways. i feel the love. since we moved we have to get rid of all my pets, but i dont wanna. esspecially my doggie, who at the moment is chillin in the backseat of my moms car... i've had her since i was five n i love her. i'll miss the old smelly thing. i think mom is just going to put her down cause she's so old n blind...poor sammy... oh well such is life. today is laundry day...yay... i get to stay up to the noise of that damned machine ( i live in the basement right next to the laundry area) but who needs sleep right?mmmmmmmmm i can smell dinner, bbq chicken... yay. just what i need more chicken! im so sick of chicken its not funny. i dont even wanna smell it but moms is better then kfc so it's all good... well im out-Erin

bye bye to my best friend
I AM SO ENCREDIBLY MANGLED IN A MIX OF EMOTION I CANT EXPLAIN IT... chubbs, my cat, my favorite cat, has passed away. and i know i will probably be the only one to truly miss her. the thing that pisses me off is ( she was at my aunts house in lansing) none of the vets here could tell she was sick. my aunts vet said she had been sick for a long time and in alot of pain for a while.... well why in the hell didnt the loser vets here realize that? i had her checked on regularly.... im just so fucking angry. if i would have know about it i could have done something about it earlier and maybes she wouldnt be dead right know....GOD WHY ARE PEOPLE SO FUCKING STUPID!?!?

on other news im going over to tj's after work on friday to spend news years together.... you know how it is. im rather excited about it. we'll finally have time to ourselves... something we havnt had in well ever...

tired as all getout
well that dude is officially gone which is ok because tj was really pissed at him. me and nikki were supposed to go to the movies but i got left at home because she decided to take chad. but she says she'll take me to the mall. my ticket is going to cost me 105 dollars but thats ok. my insurance is going to be majorly up and i hate it. its really hot in this room. and im normally really cold... me and joey are trying to get some people to go to the movies sometime.... if u want in let me know asap... call me or somethin. i thnk we're gonna see blade trinity... or sometin else thats just what i wanna see i saw half of it but that was the night i got in the accident so i missed the lase half.

and so it is x mas
ok so i had to work tonight and i hate to work...but ya know at least i get paid... so its all cool. tjs over n is causein trouble like always.. but waht do u expect from a boy? i gues i'll just have to deal. but its ok i still love him. bill is finally being nice instead of being an asshole and that dude who commented last time is really pissed at me which is ok. another word to the wise dont help me with anything im independent and i dont need you... yall know what i mean-Erin

Today is the day
ok so it's finally tjs b-day and i am totally excited. he's 18!!!!!!!! im supposed to take him out on saturday... which is good because i will be the only person home...empty house.... hmmmm i wonder what could happen---well we'll have to see.;) anyway out of the dirty stuff

he's getting some kind of tatoo on his arm on sat... i dunno what to think about it... but he's always hot so it works. i purchased a pink guitar on monday- now all i have to do is learn to play it

me and michelle are gonna jam tonight at her house- nikki was supposed to come to but she has to work so no threesome tonight. which in all reality is ok. im so jumbled right now. i feel sick but i am excited that its tjs b-day so yeah i just need to chill.....-Erin

where have all my friends gone?
to me it seems that everything that was important to me or those who where close to me are all now gone. i feel that they have all moved on and i am stuck here in the past. like the one event i never wanted to hold me down is chaining me to the floor...( this is a long long story and if you really care to ask go for it). i never wanted to remember it but because of the whole thing with nikki it's all i think about and the thing is Tj doesnt know anything about it and well i want to tell him but everytime i try i freeze up and nothing comes out. it's like i cant talk to anyone about it and i know i need to to forget it but i can't. maybe im just destin to never really live the life i planned to. maybe im supposed to live alone in may own little world. and in all actuallity its ok because i have learned to survive like that and its ok. but i feel that i was put on the world to make a huge difference and i cant do that with this stuck in the back of my head. maybe i just need to talk to Holly but everytime i talk to her about private stuff it's not so private anymore... i guess i shall talk to no one and deal with it by myself....

on other news im not failing history anymore... i have a B- and i am very happy... it's because my presintation... Bill and Dylans was kick butt!!! woohoo... tj is going to do something stupid soon i feel it, i just hope it's nothing too stupid he doesnt need any more trouble.