Not about anything
I didn't expect it to be so strange when I merged worlds. It's not bad, but it's different. I brought Poland, Australia, and America into the same place. I have Kara, who is experiencing what the real Shelton family is, and marveling at how I came from it. I have Prudence, who counts as both Polish and Australian to me, who is experiencing the American life. And then I have my American friends, who are experiencing the people I spent most of my time with abroad. Surprisingly (or maybe not,) I make friends with a similar type of people anywhere I go. Not that everyone doesn't have their own unique qualities, only that I tend to surround myself with people who will get along with each other. I really like my friends.
We're going to be traveling soon. Next trip will be about two weeks and we'll see Boston, New York City, Washington DC, Cincinnati, and Columbus, as well as everything in between. I'm really excited about this because I've always wanted to see New England more than ANYWHERE else in the USA. I know it's not a really thorough trip, but it's going to be great nonetheless. It's sad Prudence will have to leave about a week after we get back to Cedar, and Kara will leave in about three. I wish I could go with her.. I really hope I can. It all depends on the Australian government. I've already applied for residency; all that's left is waiting.
I'm going to miss my friends and winter Christmases. But Melbourne gets colder than Brisbane, so it will feel a little more like home. I can't WAIT to start studying, but once again, I'll have to wait. Two years. :S
I don't want to think about the future. My life is made up of a lot of phases. I'm always in a position where I can't do one thing until I've done another, and usually, it's time that's holding me back. Such as, a visa needing to be approved, or having a visa that won't let you study for two years. I'm not really in a hurry, but I like to feel like I'm working towards something. At least it never hurts to save money for a while.
I'm not going to complain about anything, or say anything contemplative, because I don't really feel like it, even though God knows I could. But it's been ages since I've written, so I thought I would. I used to keep a journal that I wrote in regularly, ever since I was little, but I haven't for the last year. I've never lived with anyone before in the sense that your lives actually affect each others, and ever since Kara and I moved in together, I haven't needed to write. Not much, anyway. We used to go to bed every night and just talk while laying there. It's harder to do here in America, where my mother is creeping around, making sure we're not being ourselves. That must be why I feel like writing right now. But also, Kara and Prudence are taking quizzes on some website right now. Instead of joining in, I went to woohu. I even forgot my password. I had to ask Kara--good thing she stores memories like a computer.
Well, we're going to drink some vodasz tonight, and watch Harry Potter movies (god help me.) The wine will help. :P
a random idiot i ran into today!
so i'm trying to do this new routine every morning just a quick workout because our complex has a small gym room with some equipment and then after that take my dogs for a walk.
so anyway i get to the "gym" and start on the elliptical and it keeps saying "motor unplug" which it did this the first ti me i ever used it like after 15 minutes , but i just got off , unplugged and replugged it and then it worked fine...
but today i kept replugging it and finding different plugs and it just would not work so instead i used a bike thing for like 10 minutes and then tried the elip again and it finally worked... so i did my workout on that and then .... this is the whole point of my story...
i walk back to my apartment and get the dogs and here i am walking, and i walk out of the apartment area/property and start down a road that turns into a housing development with pretty nice houses and i'm like just getting to the road with the houses, minding my own darn business with my dogs, and this stupid BITCH pulls up in her car and rolls down her window and says to me,
"You better be picking up after your dogs!"
and I say, "what?"
and she says "I dont see you holdin' no pooper scooper ! (notice the poor grammar which just made me more annoyed)
and i'm like "umm i have baggies right here! thanks!" (because i have the little clip on baggie holder-)
keep in mind my dogs are 6 and 12 lbs- they are not big dogs- they really dont create a lot of waste- i dont have to carry around a fricken SHOVEL to take care of the mess my dogs make... i'm not going to wheel around a fricken trash bin with me either ok.....
gAWD she was a stupid bitch!!!! i wanted to punch her in her fricken mouth. i called her a bitch after that but i'm not sure if she heard me because she was starting to pull away. i just HOPE she felt like a stupid bitch after she did that. how rude! i wasn't even doing anything wrong.
and she just put me in a horrible mood and UGGHGHGH i hate people like that!
i still can't seem to figure out how funny these guys are. i don't know if they're actually funny, or if i just started watching long enough to where brain cells actually started dying.
i'm still kind of upset about michael jackson's death. maybe to some people it's already 'old news' or they never cared about it in the first place. losing him is a huge tragedy to music and to the world, honestly! he was a beautiful person inside and out. i grew up listening to his music. my parents always played oldies for my sister and i, and we used to always listen to this jackson 5 8 track my dad still has. as i got older, i realized how much i loved his voice and when i was going through some really hard times when i was 16 or so i always listened to his song 'you are not alone' and 'smile' over and over and over again. we also had a lot in common. he cares a ton about other people and the earth. he had a tragic life and its so sad that towards the end, people only focused on the negatives and not all the wonderful things he has done for charity and tons of people less fortunate then him. he was a humanitarian even though inside he was always torn apart. i can relate to that. smiling on the outside but sad on the inside. i'm not trying to be cheesy or too sentimental, but just hearing his songs and watching interviews with him on tv make me feel so sad to have lost him. it is so sad. it's a tragedy.
More pharmaceutical fun. So he DID give me those pills for free. Those pills are nine bucks EACH! It was only three of them, but still...and I went in there tonight to pick up my rx and he was chatting away as usual..He asked me if my boyfriend was coming to visit me this weekend and I said no, and he said he was a jerk! HA! i was like woooooooahh there.
I'm worried about grad school. EVERYONE i talk to is like, 'oh my neice/friend/etc...got all A's and couldn't get in anywhere in Michigan for the speech path program' seriously like 6 people have told me that. I must know why! what can i do so that doesn't happen to me?! how can i make myself different? stand out? etc...UGH!!
::
2009 2 July :: 1.08am
:: Mood: thug
:: Music: best i ever had
got a house but i need new furniture why spend mine when i can spend urrs? ?
Baby you my everything you all i ever wanted.
We can do it real big.
Bigger then you ever done it.
You be up on everything.
Other hoes ain't never on it.
I want this forever, i swear i can spend whatever on it.
Cause she hold me down everytime i hit her up.
When i get right i promise that we gon live it up.
She make me beg for it till she give it up.
And I say the same thing every single time.
I say you the fucking best.
You the fucking best.
You the fucking best.
You the fucking best.
You the best i ever had.
Best I ever had.
Best I ever had.
Best I ever had.
I say you the fucking.
Know you got a roommate
Call me when its no one there
Put the key under the mat
And you know I'll be over there
(Yup) I'll be over there
Shawty, I'll be over there
I'll be hitting all the spots that u ain't even know was there
Ha. And you ain't even have to ask twice
You can have my heart or we can share it like the last slice
Always felt like you was so accustom to the fast life
Have a nigga thinking that he met you in a past life
Sweat pants, hair tied, chilling with no make up on
That's when your the prettiest
I hope that you don take it wrong
You don't even trip when friends say you ain't bringing Drake along
You know that I'm working I'll be there soon as I make it home
And she a patient in my waiting room
Never pay attention to them rumors and what they assume
And until them girls prove it
I'm the one to Never get confused with Cause.
Baby you my everything you all i ever wanted.
We can do it real big.
Bigger then you ever done it.
You be up on everything.
Other hoes ain't never on it.
I want this forever, i swear i can spend whatever on it.
Cause she hold me down everytime i hit her up.
When i get right i promise that we gon live it up.
She make me beg for it till she give it up.
And I say the same thing every single time.
I say you the fucking best.
You the fucking best.
You the fucking best.
You the fucking best.
You the best i ever had.
Best I ever had.
Best I ever had.
Best I ever had.
I say you the fucking.
Sex, Love, Pain
Baby I be on that tank shit
Buzz so big i could probably sell a blank disk
When my album drop
Bitches will buy it for the picture
And niggas will buy it too and claim they got it for they sister
Magazine paper girl
But money ain't the issue
They bring dinner to my room and ask me to initial
She call me the referee
Cause I be so official
My shirt ain't got no stripes but I can make yo pussy whistle
Like the Andy Griffith theme song
And who told you to put them jeans on
double cup love
You the one i lean on
Feeling for a fix then you should really get yo pheen on
Yea just know my condo is the crack spot
Every single show she out there repping like a mascot
Get it from the back
And make yo fucking bra strap pop
All up in yo slot until the nigga hit the jackpots
Baby you my everything you all i ever wanted.
We can do it real big.
Bigger then you ever done it.
You be up on everything.
Other hoes ain't never on it.
I want this forever, i swear i can spend whatever on it.
Baby you my everything you all i ever wanted.
We can do it real big.
Bigger then you ever done it.
You be up on everything.
Other hoes ain't never on it.
I want this forever, i swear i can spend whatever on it.
Beyonce Halo
soo it's been a long time since i've updated more than a few strange words.
so much has been happening. life is...insane. busy. spiraling everywhere. pain, love, excitement, hurt. moving forward, moving backward, sitting in the middle of it all.
work is ridiculous. i work 32 hours plus a week. i hardly have any time to myself anymore. i definitely need the money more than anyone could ever know, but it's exhausting sometimes.
i got a B+. a fucking B+. there goes my 4.0 at CMU. GONE------> ughhhhh
i miss jake. i hate just 'visiting' with my boyfriend. i want him here, with me. i hate it.
i feel alone, overwhelmed, grown up. doing things on my own. taking care of everything. trying to hold my family together, wishing my father was sober...scrounging for pills that the doctors office won't subscribe.
my pharmacist says i'm the most 'normal, mature 21 year old that comes in here," again could be just because he loves me. maybe not. but he should know at least some about me since i'm forced to talk to him for half an hour increments everytime i go in there. he is kind of attractive which is the odd thing. he's like 28. weird. especially since i always feel skanky when i go in there either in my work uniform or some sort of sweat pants and tank top. bleh
bought one bellybutton ring got four free. woohoo and bought a mouth guard so i don't grind my teeth down to the gums like i have been. it's annoying though and weird.
when is my someday. i want it now. i want my turn.
Whoa. Lets all start shit on woohu like a buncha of retards. You know who wins in this situation. JAY RUSTER DOES! Why? I laugh at all of you being retards. Oh for the record, MJ was aquitted of molestation charges. But hey, we live in america so there is no such thing as a fair trial right. Suck dicks and die, people.
Also, chuck norris is a bitch and would get destroyed by many other martials artist actors. Oh my, i know karate!
An old angry man threw his Meijer Credit Card at me yesterday when I told him I couldn't check his balance for him and that he'd have to call the number on the back of the card. I promptly said, "Sir, I want you to know that was very rude and I do not appreciate it" like he was five years old. He apologized and said he didn't mean any "offense."
