One day, I promise, you'll be everything you see in your dreams

:: 2004 21 May :: 3.47pm
:: Music: smashing pumpkins nukka

anti-emo is turning emo.... someone do me a favor and slap me in the face!

4 kissed me to die | with a smile on my face

im-sorry
[ -nightsloth- ]

:: 2004 20 May :: 9.07pm

well, hello there, memberes of this journal cul- err comunnity. Just thought I'd post. Just maybe. . . perhaps. . . . Well, the only news I have is that I got an orange piggy bank. With two little flowers on each side and swirls and confettieverywhere else. I call him FIESTA PIG! (a.k.a. festivis: mexican god of maracas and salsa, hey, who said mexicans aren't polytheists?) Ok. Comment whaaaaatever.

skittlicious

:: 2004 20 May :: 4.12pm

I guess that I can do a "real" update on woohu, for once. Exams are starting on Monday, and I'm getting nervous. This weekend, is going to be insane, but I think that it's just bad timing. Friday night I'm working til 9, than I'm going to Lauren's, cause we made plans a week ago, and I love her. Saturday I was planning on going to the Fishing Rodeo, to help my step-mom, but maybe I'm just going to study, all day. And then Saturday night is a night with Paige, so she thinks. Ya'll know what I'm really talking about though. And then Sunday is the Bahamas, I can't fucking wait. Paige + Mandy + Samahab = daaang, watch out. hahah. But now I'm thinking with exams starting on Tuesday at 1, that I shouldn't do all this, and just go out on Sat night/Sunday day, cause I really need to get atleast c's, on EVERY exam. God, too much to figure out. I'm off to Wal*Mart with Maria, I miss her a lot.

xo

<3mandyy

:: 2004 18 May :: 5.03am

wow, i just had the worst nightmare... i don't remember what it consisted of, that was out of my mind before i opened my bedroom door, just something along the lines of getting completely blown off by someone and completely hurt. i never remember my dreams, EVER....and i have had almost the same one twice in a small time period. what the fuck is up with this? the weird thing is, i am sitting here, and still have all that emotion still with me left over from the dream... and i feel so hurt still....

:: 2004 18 May :: 1.13am
:: Music: twisted method

anti-emo
a very dear friend of mine (i love you babycakes) calls me anti-emo because with every guy, i try my hardest to push and shove all my emotions down and to to pretend that i don't give a fuck. but every once in a while, i meet someone who makes that very hard to do. the current "whatever the fuck you call him"- is one of those.

and i HATE it. i try to put on my best performance, but i was never and A student in drama class. it's all an ego thing my friend. if i admit to being emo- then my guard is down, and i am powerless, and i loose. i can't cope with loosing, especially when it comes to emotional shit.

i think he cares for me too, and if not, then he must have gotten A's in drama because he comes off as so. but if he likes me soo much, then why would he want things to be like this between us?

and another thing, whatever you do when you're older... DO NOT LET YOUR CHILDREN WATCH LIFETIME MOVIES! those things have soured my trust in guys from before i had boobs. every time a guy seems into me, my paranoid side comes creeping in, and i think of a different million reasons why he must be pretending to be into me. maybe it's all true, maybe it's my inecurities, who knows??

4 kissed me to die | with a smile on my face

skittlicious

:: 2004 17 May :: 10.39pm

I'm paid for!!!!

<3333

:: 2004 16 May :: 11.45pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: the police

this weekend was awesome. Friday night was prom, and to be totally honest, i wasn't looking forward to it AT ALL- i almost didn't even want to go. I am very glad i did. I decided the reason it sucked so bad last year is that my date sucked, and i had a great date this year, sooo yeah. i was sober all night, which sucked. i guess the cool thing about matt being 21 is that while everyone was eating, he was able to walk across the street to the bar drink a lil bit on the way. we all just went back to lauren moody's and crashed, no partying... which worked because we were all so dead

saturday, we all had a post prom thing and bbqed all day....good stuff. i love bbqs.

yesturday was just one of those days. i guess i kinda came off as a bitch all day. i was haning out with matt and jon and was silent most of the night, even when we went to this lil get together. i was the anti-social one in the corner of the room, and i'm never like that... haha. i mean, i was already in a bad mood (thanks to the rents'), and then some lil small things on top of that. whatever, it aint no thanngggggg

with a smile on my face

im-sorry
[ -nightsloth- ]

:: 2004 15 May :: 1.37pm

Well. . . here's an Icon. Wait. . . nvm. I can't get it to copy paste. o_0 I'm so computer smart. Well, you could always stell my color scheme. It's pretty nifty.Here's the codes.

Journal and table bacround: #000000
Everything else: #009999

ok.

3 kissed me to die | with a smile on my face

im-sorry
[ -nightsloth- ]

:: 2004 12 May :: 10.58pm

umm hi. Now for the test thing in the bio. (hope i'm doing this right)

1. Purple(ande)
2.lemony yellow
3. blue and a half
Al(gie)

Someone. . . scooters

same someone and a bajaj scooter

I wish that everything tasted like cotten candy, and I had someone and a bajaj scooter

none of the above

Nothing more than I have.

:: 2004 10 May :: 11.09am

"Julia"- O.L.P.

Can you see her standing there,
Well shes trying to find just anywhere.
Flowers in her hand, yes
She doesn't know why.

Offered is advice to you,
And all you do was fake it.

[Chorus]
And she's only yours tonight,
Oh she never cries.
But I know there's pain inside,
There's Julia.

Drowning in her own visions,
When she's begging the past to stay behind.
Black cat in the night,
Black cat in the sky.

Offered is advice to you,
You left, but I don't blame you.

[Chorus]
And she's only yours tonight,
Oh she never cries.
But I know there's pain inside,
There's Julia.

Digging up the past,
To cross that line,
To bury it, one last time.

Offered is advice to you,
and all you do was fake it.
I know there's pain inside this truth,
But you just have to face it.

And she's only yours tonight,
Oh she never cries.
Mother, I know there's pain inside
There's Julia (yeah) x4
(No, yeah, no, yeah)

:: 2004 10 May :: 1.09am

once again... i find myself tearing after talking to him

fuck it, i'm hardcore and don't give a fuck. the door to my heart is no longer open for the crushing.....

:: 2004 10 May :: 12.12am

more rockers:
glasses
buddy
getting messages
seeing old friends
precilla- shes my main gal
meeting cute boys at shows
how i only have 4 days left in high school
the movies cry baby and hairspray
glasses
chucks
screaming song lyrics at the top of my lungs
myspace
my new side job- concerts first

this entry is being cut short due to the fact that i dont want to listen to my parents having sex in the other room any longer.. lol gross

:: 2004 9 May :: 11.56pm
:: Mood: exhausted
:: Music: sleeping at last- emo, but not new trendy emo, more like classic emo

i hate trendy blinksters

i went to the blink show tonight... good times, good times. it wasn't as packed as i thought it was going to be, but it was still a good time. i got like 96 band names for that stupid concerts first thing, so that meas i got 182 dollars. SWEETTTTT. prom is next week, so i can use all the extra goodies that come my way.
i came up with an AMAZING idea for my first tatoo, way original, can't wait- in a few weeks i want to get it, then i can be all hardcore and cool liek the rest of you. just kidding.
this whole weekend has been a blast. friday night i went up to st. pete with the boys for a show. it was fun, road trippin it with panjo again (my girl buddy)... i love our emo talks and he's one of the only guys that will jam out to old skool matchbox 20 with me. as usual, i was the only chick with like seven guys... GANG BANG! (j/k) (or was i?) ( haha), its funny sitting back and watching them try to get with the groupies, and the groupies try to get with them.. i'm glad i've never been like that.
i slept at jons last night... ahh his twin bed is impossible. matt and i went and got flowers for our mommies this morning, which mine loved...along with me paying off her million dollar blockbuster late fees, why is it so hard to return movies on time??

SHOWS:
july 8- reel big fish, catch 22, rx bandits (FUCK YEAH)
May 26- midtown (same night as my graduation rehearsal :( )
june 10-underoath
June11- suicide girls- cant wait to see chloe in her undies, whooop whooppp
june 27- piebald.

6 kissed me to die | with a smile on my face

:: 2004 6 May :: 10.56pm

the new journal trendddd
1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. How have I affected you?
5. What do you think of me?
6. What's the fondest memory you have of me?
7. How long do you think we will be friends?
8. Do you love me?
9. Do you have a crush on me?
10. Would you kiss me?
11. Would you hug me?
12. Physically, what stands out?
13. Emotionally, what stands out?
14. Do you wish I was cooler?
15. On a scale of 1-10, how hot am I?
16. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
17. Am I loveable?
18. How long have you known me?
19. Describe me in one word.
20. What was your first impression?
21. Do you still think that way about me now?
22. What do you think my weakness is?
23. Do you think I'll get married?
24. What makes me happy?
25. What makes me sad?
26. What reminds you of me?
27. If you could give me anything what would it be?
28. How well do you know me?
29. When's the last time you saw me?
30. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
31. Do you think I could kill someone?
32. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?
33. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?
34. Are you going to put this on your livejournal and see what I say about you?