.wonderful tonight.

.wonderful tonight.

:: 2004 4 March :: 7.35 pm

I just want to say how much i love amanda.
my biggest fan. the funniest and most sincere person i know. you fucking rocks. and you never asked me what i would do if you died. i would ask your mom to have u cremated and keep ur ashes in my passenger seat. fucking WOO hOO. i need help sometimes. but seriously. i love ya. i don't think you hear that enough :)
this may be the vike talking but you fuck9ing rocks.
guys=gay and you know what you aren't afriad to scream that!!!
well my teeth hirt alot. i mean alot like dropping an anval on ur head. pretty painful. wellllllllllll.
i'm off like a prom dress.
sometimes i love myself.

1 bow out. | want to dance?

:: 2004 2 March :: 2.25 pm

this is why i believe i have adhd. how even updates their journal 5 times a day but doesn't do for like 2 weeks. oh yea that would be me.
i'm eating rasberry sherbert ice cream. ever soo good. soo talent show. the lil bugger on my mind. i don't want to do it. so i'm not. is this weird. my throat tho is all sore and scratchy but still. i could pull it off. but i don't want to.
all i want is friday. the portrait of the perfect day. 68 degrees. i'm gonna cry i promise i'm gonna be that happy.
things are goin well in my life. i suppose. tho its not nearly as interesting as it was. i dno whats changed. maybe me? i look the same. feel the same. have the same job. same family and friends. but nope. nothing is the same. is this making sense. not that anyone reads this anymore...it's like the graveyard of diary's. i'm never consisitant with anything tho. i start something and boom. lose all interest. ie chorus. what the hell happened there. that was my life. now i don't even think i miss it. we're not good so it doesn't matter. when my grampy died. everything stopped and then everything kinda fell back into place just outta place...? i dno. well i have no go. i have some stuff to do before i go to work. byee.
xoxoxox
*have a little faith in me*

2 bow out. | want to dance?

:: 2004 17 February :: 10.53 pm
:: Mood: annoyed

I just want to say how grateful i am to have the friends i have. and i'm even more grateful when they stab me in the back. even when i do nothing. but that's ok. i HOPE you feel better about yourself. because you don't know me. you have no idea what goes on in my life lately. but that's cool. pretend for 2 seconds that my life matters to you. and seriously. well. i don't even know what to say except. i never would expect shit like this from you.
well with that off my chest.
my aunt tried to kidnap me today. and then tried to kill socher and i on the highway. after screaming and telling me how my family spreads rumors of her being gay. welp. that was fun. oh yes and you know where we driving to. belllerica. and for the innocent people out there. that's were the house of corrections is. my dad had to rescue us there. and then my aunt took us back to where i could retrieve my car. well..
what a day.
jeff had mono. that's fun....NOOOO. but i'm taking good care of him. he's my darling. <3
welllll.
nite folks.

p.s. i love alya the mostest. BWHAHAHAHA

p.p.s. i'm loopy.

want to dance?

:: 2004 7 February :: 7.41 pm
:: Mood: full

yummm. coffee after chocolate. life really doesn't get sweeter than this.
actually. i retract that, i miss isabella. seriously when she's back i'm gonna clean her and wash her and vaccuum her. she will be soooo happy.
well. i'm gonna go watch tv with my mom, cuz she's pretty much the man. then we're gonna go see miracle. yea hockey.
welp. seee ya later.
xoxoxoxox
*girls just wanna have fun*

want to dance?

:: 2004 30 January :: 4.05 pm
:: Mood: amused

my life=joke. cool huh?
so my car has kicked the bed again. seriously isabella is gonna put me in the fn hospital. i heated her up at school and she ran fine home. my mom called. she called the shop they said from now on i have to warm it up so the battery heats up otherwise the engine gets no power. which could be why she was yelling at me. i also put antifreeze in her. she should be happy.
my mom is gone. i hope tonite is fun. i need some excitement/fun. my life is on a steady pattern and well to be frank, patterns suck. i miss the randomness of the summer. but you win some and you lose some and well. i can't control the weather.
hmm. i think i may go take a nap. then do my hair. then pick up al and laur. and well whatever. i dno. i want this nite to be soo fun. please be fun.
i think ruthie from seventh heaven is my god. bwhaha. she rocks. no hugs for her.
xoxoxoxox
*fuck you ****** you'll always be fat*

3 bow out. | want to dance?

:: 2004 27 January :: 6.12 pm
:: Mood: blank
:: Music: "the last song"

when you've taken your final breath.
so yea. long time no update.
somehow i don't feel like talking in here means anything. along with doing school work. which is prolly why i got all c's. yea. somehow you can have everything you want and still unsatisfied. i blame it entirely on the way we're brought up. to think that everyday must contain some sort of drama. otherwise you're life is slow. and so either way you can truely be happy.
i seriously miss the summer. i can't say that enough.
so do we honestly ever want to be happy? truely happy? 100%, fireworks in your head, new nail polish, payday happy? i'm beginning to think not.
i want this year to hurry up. i'm broke forever. and apparently i'm suppose to be growing up and gaining some new sort of responsiblity through it all. and somehow. i feel like i'm regressing to wanting to be a little kid again. remember when you came home and your parents were happy to see you? when cookies made the world perfect? and best friends meant forever? i don't want to grow up. i don't want to get old. i don't want to be this in between anymore. where we're not young enough to get scared of the dark but not old enough to legally drink. basically the teenage years are the shafted years. "best years of our lives" my ass. i'm so over it.
but when i do smile, or the small percentage of the open eyed teenagers in the world, it means everything. and it has come to the point where about 5 people can do that. they know who they are. i owe you my life.
xoxoxoxoxox
*i close my eyes*

want to dance?

:: 2004 25 January :: 3.46 pm

being different doesn't feel so differet.

want to dance?

:: 2004 22 January :: 9.18 pm
:: Mood: busy

welcome back leah
long time no talk my beloved journal. my aol has been snatched away from me from the evil witch goddess. aka my mother. and my internet explorer is prejudice against me. soo. i'm at jeff's and he's showering so i figure updation time.
well. what's new? my car broke. but isabella is happily drivable again and it only cost me 260 dollars. ohh beloved car.
i was in one of those i'm really busy moods today. well not at school. i think i failed two tests today. a makeup for math. that was BAD. and my french mindterm. i'm not french. simple as that. i speak english. period. end of story.
well. i went home and made lots of cookies after cleaning my entire house spotless. i cleaned the bathroom. did laundry. washed floors. bedroom. and then i baked chocolate chip cookies. then chocolate peanut butter chip cookies. yummm. then i did math homework. i was going to attempt to do my english essay but low and behold i left my promt at school. i really suck sometimes.
i cut my toe though. i dropped a car radio on it. long story. it sliced the tip off a tad. pretty gross. it would be pretty cool if it was on someone else and i couldn't feel the immense pain throbbing in my big toe. ohh well. comme si comme ca. a lil francais for you.
i bumped my head too. socher laughed. i didn't. i felt like i was in a three stooges act. it was a pretty dumb move and now i have a wonderful lil mountain on my forehead. the end.
umm. i need to see season five of sex in the city. i think my life is beginning o revolve around dvds. please emit me into a hospital. pronto. well i'm off.
nice chatting.
xoxoxoxoxox
*good eye sniper, i'll shoot and you run*

2 bow out. | want to dance?

:: 2004 16 January :: 5.30 pm
:: Mood: sick

cough.
i'm sick. i hate being sick. i have my period. i also hate that.
soo my mom's gone all weekend. which usually means a hell of a girls weekend. not for me. not when ur grounded and have family spies everywhere. i'm seriously changing my identity this weekend i will be Meah. clever, ey?
well. my mom left a lil while ago and i was gonna go get my check and rent some movies but everyone is out doing UNgrounded things. so it looks like i'll be venturing out on my own. cool.
i think i'm gonna go blow my nose or something.
byeee. xoxoxoxox
*and i'm being faithful to you*

want to dance?

:: 2004 14 January :: 5.14 pm
:: Mood: crazy
:: Music: my brother singing bloody sunday b/c he's the man.

cuz i can.
all hail to being grounded.
fuck you mom.
i miss my friends.
my rehcos, ali, meg, and dan.
my boy. <3 <3 <3 Jeffrey.
until the chains are broken.
*i'm so tired of being here*

2 bow out. | want to dance?

:: 2004 13 January :: 3.14 pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: "the last song"

yea...
hmm. so this weekend was amazing. seriously. to be out of oxford...i needed that. so did socher. it was worth it. it was nice drive down there. it kinda flew by. i'm so used to driving it. we all played cards. i won twice. i'm the man. we got to our hotel at like 12ish. actually our palace. it was huge. with trees and waterfalls and streams. ahhh. we got ready. then we went to the game. oh man. i felt like such a pro. i knew everything about the place. bwha. and we beat bc. and you know why? cuz we play street ball. oh man soch. i was gonna kill the lady behind us. wicked ANNOYING.
thenn. after the game we got movie tickets for paycheck. poor ben affleck he is NOT having good luck with movies lately. gigli then this....then we went back to our own lil rainforest and went in the jacuzzi and then tha sauna. holy jesus christ. it was MUCH needed. then we went to the carousel mall. which is HUGE. and it took us the 2 hours we had before our movie to cover one floor....there are five. ya. shopping heaven. hmmm. then the next morning i got the best breakfast EVER in the entire world....seriously. i want to rewind last weekend and replay when life blows.
welll....that was my weekend in a nutshell. then yesterday we had a delay. that was nice, goodbye french and chem. awwwww. i love snow sometimes.. thenn. i worked that was cool. then indulged in 6 episodes of sex in the city. goddamn mr. big being engaged. seriously i think i may be depressed.
well today. no school. just for me and al. i called her at ohhh 6:50 and asked if she wanted to skip the first two periods. then we voted we'll just go in at 10:30 then 11:30 then we decided no school. my mom found out. she didn't care. i just had A LOT of laundry to do before i left the house. then i was SUPPOSE to go to the pp mall. but it snowed so i have been sitting at jeffs house since 1:30...with nothing to do. so i think we're gonna go to pub 99. or sumthing before the game. well i'm off.
GO PIRATES!!!!!
xoxoxoxox
*Sunday, bloody Sunday*

want to dance?

:: 2004 8 January :: 10.39 pm
:: Mood: bitchy

oh fuck you.
seriously. just die. i'm in such a bad fn mood and i have no reason to be in one. I seriously hate PMSing b/c everyone sucks and they don't even have to do anything they just suck in general and that's sad. plus i used too many "and"s. but i'm toooo fn lazy to go back and change them.
tomorrow nite. i'm staying home. and eating lots of food so i can get fatter JUST TO SPITE MY MOM!!!! then i will be off to relax with my best friend a l l w e e k e n d.
no work. no oxford. no drama. just sweaty baskteball players. and what.
well i'm done.
sorry jeffrey. i didn't mean to be grumpy. *kisses* <3 <3 <3
*i miss the last song.*

want to dance?

:: 2004 7 January :: 8.43 pm
:: Mood: mischievous

the used.
i'm making her come for a ride. i'm like an elf on a mission.
so i just want everyone to know that amanda lee socher is my best friend <3 and her and ffej are buddies for life. and i love it.
he visited my darling tonite with socher at work he wanted to see her hair. he talked in a british accent. madd hott.
it came out fabulous. she doesn't like it but. if she thinks it's ugly, and she likes ugly, shouldn't she love it? i'm smart. i want a sticker.
well i'm gonna run to my house and get some clothes, cuz socher and i are having a big slumber party with facials and slippers. oh yes. i said it. slippers.
well i'm off to go talk to the mom. then i will come home. well home to sochers. yea, whatever.
xoxoxoxox
*you're everything i never knew i always wanted* <3 <3 <3

want to dance?

:: 2004 7 January :: 8.43 pm
:: Mood: mischievous

want to dance?

:: 2004 7 January :: 4.41 pm
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: coheed and cambria

eh, yep.
yesterday. i didn't update. let's see...
went to school. found out snyder hates me more than i thot. she gave me a 50 on my report saying it was "superficial" and my "vocab was too superior".
>>need to tell you tho. meg is wickd hott. as is sochia. i want to bang them both. hard core. like whoa. (that should be in the dictionary)<< imput by meg or socher. i'm not sure which one.
ummm. what else did i do. i brought jeff waffle crisp cuz he was sick and he was hungry. i'm a good girlfriend.
ummmm and now. i dyed amanda and meg. yes i dyed them. well i don't really feel like bitching about my life right now. or ppl that make me bitchy. ha. yep.
going to hang out with the coolest people ever. hey guess what. they're my bestest friends too. <3 <3 <3 and we're soul mates. listening to evanescence. much love.
<3 <3 <3 <3
*world world three is about to begin. you are satan.*

1 bow out. | want to dance?