oh, extended vacation.
hmm. today was wonderful.
today was ffej(haha socher) and me's one month. aww <3 <3 <3
he came over and we just layed together and watched tv. we got n&j's too. all hail bagels.
then i worked. but it was ok. cuz i made $12 in tips. all hail being a hott donut grl. i also organized my life into one list at work. oh to be bored for 45 mins of no customers.
then. i went home and got corn chips. seriously they were amazing corn chips. then i picked up my bestest friend socher and i went tanning in a time machine. ok. nevermind. then we went to honeydew, where i saw frankie. i love him. seriously the poor guy sits in there cuz it reminds him of his daughter. *tear*
then we ventured to walmart and with no luck in hair dye we went to the mall. we were 75 cents short. goddamn tax. well then mother and i got into world war three about me being a teenager *GASP*
well nevertheless after crying and screaming. we're good. all hail mother daughter relationships.
then my jeffrey came over. he was sick. aww hunni. i tried to make him feel better but i think i didn't do too well. *superman feel better* <3 you.
i'm off to never neverland.
xoxoxoxxox
*Suddenly the world seems such a perfect grace. suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace. suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste. it al revolves around you.*
<3

just another day.
hmm. today.
i worked. that was cool. a whole lot of sarcasm there. i detest my job. it's so fn boring. i mean. well. i think wasting part of my life for money that's gone in like 2 days seems so insignificant. well. money makes the world go 'round.
got out of work at 12. that was good. that's my mood. good. what an understated word. it's overused but can mean so much. hmmm. that was slightly deep. well. i went shopping at solomon. with my socher and my jeffrey <3. they bonded today. they are now best friends. this is very good. they both have the mentality of a 5 year old sometimes. and they just, haha, well they understand each other i suppose. ok so shopping aside.
we got our first lost today in basketball. it was simply depressing. i hate losing. esp. when this season would have been nasty if they didn't have all of our starters suspended for alcohol abuse. go oxford.
amanda has the coolest hair ever.
umm yea. then we came home and watched pirates of the carribean. good movie. socher and olry(haha) will make fabulous babies. well.
now jeff and my brother and his 2 friends are partaking in a serious supersmash match. ohhh i <3 my family/friends/boyfriend.
until we meet again. byeee
xoxoxoxoxo
*that was noooo thimble*
<3 <3 <3 <3

ack.
so this morning i hung out with rach. we had breakfast and it made me see a lot. i have to work soon. i'm not too excited. my ankle is bruised and swollen. i have been thinking too much already today and it's only 12:32. sometimes i wish i could run away and never look back. then you realize what you'd leave and whether it's worth staying. and it is. but you still want for those .02 secs to just get f a r away. i have to work till 6. then i'm gonna come home and sit. rest my ankle. then i'm gonna take my brother to the movies. why does today seem like it's gonna hurt. i'm in an odd mood. like i want to cry but laugh at myself for thinking that. i feel like freshman year again. this is how i felt. incomplete. i think i slept funny. i think that's it. or its my thinking. i'll be fine in an hour. i want to take a bath. a hot, steamy bath. it's like a pool of escape. except you get to bathe in the process. i got early this morning. well early for me, 9:30. that was cool. it snowed out too. i really hate the snow. bu my brother brushed off my car so it was ok. i like snow when i don't have to brush it off my car. i wish i was peter pan. yep, i think that's it. i want to go to never neverland. and fly. ohhh, to fly. well i didn't mean to ramble this long. i just needed to write. or cleanse myself of my thots. either way i feel somewhat better. i just can't wait for tonite. no mom. just chillin. movie. bed. life will be good. life will be great. after work. farwell. xoxoxox
*if i'm alive and well will you be there holding my hand?*

happy new years.
oh happy new years young and old.
i haven't updated in a while. nothing all that exciting has actually happened worth updating except for last nite. or yesterday in general. it was pretty bizarre.
well yesterday was new years eve the day we have ALL been looking forward to. serisouly we have been planning a new years to remember since october. well unfortunalty meg and krystal couldn't come :( they were in NH. but we still saw them when we exchanged gifts and meg's innocent mind and unfogetable laugh when she got her airzooka was enough, haha. love ya kid. you were missed :X
well. then danni and adam decided they didn't want to come. well adam didn't want to and therefore danni didn't. that was a bust. at first i was mad. now i think i'm just sad that i don't have any memories with them. oh well. i made enough memories last nite. tho they wouldv'e been better with everyone.
ok, where should i start. hmmm. at first meg davis and i are friends again. well we're gonna attempt to be. i stood up for her when the bitchy lil (as socher put it) "omg" girls and they're bitches trashed her. well that was thing number one. and then. al's house. me and al had our own personal party for a while. haha we rock. and what?
then jenn, socher, and rach came back with a bunch of random guys. then smalls, matt and anthony came and then wow. it was just a very random nite. aww. but i got my new years kiss. oh yea. <3 <3 <3 <3
and i got a new years spained ankle. that was cool. eh, not really.
jeff and i just chilled this morning at my house and watch freaky friday....very cute movie. and gigli...oh buddy did that suck.
well. my brother came home for the first time all week. I MISSED HIM!!!
well i'm gonna go shower and then chill with my nana. cuz she's the man. she just came over. i'm ever so excited :) then prolly chilling with socher. if i can hoble out in time. well.
*and you kissed me like you meant it*

i'm in <3 with this song.
ok i'm gonna hit you with some lyrics. but you will understand when you read them. so get to it.
playground school bell rings again
rain clouds come to play again
has no one told you she's not breathing?
hello i'm your mind giving you someone to talk to
hello

if i smile and don't believe
soon i know i'll wake from this dream
don't try to fix me i'm not broken
hello i'm the lie living for you so you can hide
don't cry

suddenly i know i'm not sleeping
hello i'm still here
all that's left of yesterday

I promise i've been listen to this song like a have a fn ocd. oh well. let's get to the "updation" haha socher.
saturday was kinda a bust. i was tired. came home and slept. i felt bad cuz jeff was here and i was suppose to be at alya's but 'rents are wicked cool sometimes.
yesterday was my fave. minus a lil arguing.
i worked. nothing special there. except i wore a tie. that was pretty fn cool. then again. it was me and i am pretty fn cool. well i got out of work. that was nice. i like getting out of work. came home got all sexy. riite.
jeff came over we watched disturbing behavior. good movie. creepy. then we went out to eat with meg and criag. i seriously love them. they are so perfect for each other it's insane. then after dinner. we met danni and adam at the movies and we all saw peter pan.
ohmiabsolutei'mobsessedgoodness.
it was an amazing movie. i cried. there is just this one part in the movie, when wendy gives her hidden "thimble" to peter. awww <3 <3 <3 oh man. jeff made the movie incredible tho. with his little comments :)
then. we went dropped everyone off and jeff and i went up to fort hill rd and looked over oxford. it was so beautiful. *sigh*
well. i have to go clean my room and such. then i must be off to work.
parting is such sweet sorrow.
xoxoxoxox
"that's how i feel when i kiss you" <3 <3

OH. what a nite.
ok. well. i would like to first thank my girls for giving me a night to remember, even tho i think i may be a tad scarred from the stripper. oh buddy. i'll get to that part. don't u fret.
wellllll. lets rewind to christmas and then i'll get to last nite. ha. you have to wait. or u could scroll down. but where's the fun in that.
ok. so christmas. i got everything i possibly could have wanted. minus my story of the year cd. bah humbug. i need to stop being so fn cheap and just purchase the item. hmphhh. so i went to visit my dad and got more wonderful gifts. (i.e. the stereo i've had my eye on for quite a while.)
next, i went to meet jeff's family. they could possibly the funniest family together ever. you just have to smile when you're around them. it feels right. i was nice. his uncle B was the man. ok. sooo then jeff went with me to meet my family. they all loved him. i knew they would. then i came back and hung out with my baby till we realized it was prolly time for him to leave...a lil after 12. mind you i'm suppose to be in by 12. so leaving to bring him home, well let's just say thats not in the rule book. it was worth it tho. it's always worth it with him.
ok friday. yesterday. went shopping with jeff, tanya, and socher my love. i bought wonderful underwear. <3 <3 <3
then later i met up at the mall with danni and jenn and al. we went out to eat. then bought me the hottest new years outfit known to man. on man. i'm gonna be one hott bitch :)
welll then the party began. :)
I hung out with jeff till 10:45. he bought me ice cream. awww. <3 then i picked alicia, who by the way is my new hero, and socher up and went to al house (a.k.a. party central.)
well by the time i got there everyone was...well sloshed. so i got sloshed as well. then we sang and danced around her living room singing songs. amanda and i did an interptitive dance to "the voice within." we rock.
then by like...oh 12. we were all beyond hammered. we created our own catergory.
we rock again.
then. the boys came. i met dawud for the first time. he rocks. we're tight like whizzzoa. haha.he came with nate (the stripper), justin(alicia's bitch), ceddy, & fritzy. welll.
we all got to know each other. alicia got to kno justin better than anyone. she rocks(my new catch phrase).
so anyway. socher, danni, and i kept buggin nate to strip. he had "stage fright." so yea. he finally said he's do it. so yea. wicked cool when orlagh and alicia leave you in the room with stripper. boy had one thing on his mind and it wasn't just dancing. no sir. socher saved me tho. i just kept thinking:
"jeff. jeff. jeff." boys are annoying. i was wearing his sweatshirt. my boyfriends sweatshirt and he still tried to be "friendly." oh well. DENIED. tha was all you socher. haha. you're kicked urself now. well.
that was my last two days. oh i live an intersting life.
tonite. i'm may hang out with jeff. i hope so. after last nite. all i want is to be with him. he's my boy. <3 <3 <3 and i love it that way.
:)
until next time.
"meet me in outer space."
xoxoxoxox

I GOT SLIPPERS!!
uhhhh. ok. i'm a dumbass. it was dec 5th. not the 12th. my mom corrected me. that's sad when ur mom knows ur <3 life more than u do.
ohmiabsolutegoodness.
i got pink slippers with pink hearts <3 <3 <3
and. there is an "and." (as if it got any better.) i got white terry cloth ones. hmm. i wearing em now. life is good. i got $$ for the mall. hmmm. commercialized christmad kinda rocks. and no car insurance bill. *sigh* yep. good stuff.
sooooooo.
last nite. i hung with my jeff. aww. we sorta...kinda...watched finding nemo. but that's ok. danni and adam enjoyed it very much. you know how those things go. then we looked at stars on a blanket in my driveway. aww.
me-2 you-6. that rocks :X
hmmm. good nite. *smile*
today. i had to venture into the world of shopping. but i took jeff so it was ok. got some grocery shopping done for satan. my mom. then went to the mall and shopped for satan. ahhh.
then socher and i wined and dined in websters finest. no not mcdonalds. better, friendly's. the food was...greasy. we got 15% off. power to bitching.
yep. came home. no wrapping paper. i think my head spun. i was sumo wrestler sized pissed. so i went to walmart. *GASP* well i killed some bitches while i was there. so the lines weren't tooo bad.
wrapped my presents. i am an autistic wrapper. like eminem. oh man. i'm funny. ha.
ahh. then hudson. ohh how i love those christmas eve's where everyone is drunk by present time. and they don't really know what they're getting but love it. for example.
my uncle gives my aunt a toothbrush cleaner.
my aunt got teary eyed. "she's always wanted one." "how did you know." "you're the best."
yep. my nite in nutshell.
but i got slippers.
hmm. tomorrow. mom's. dad's. jeff's. i'm gonna be woman on a mission.
well i'm off to bed. nite.
oh and merry christmas.
xoxoxoxoxox
*all i want for christmas is you*

oh. what a day.
oh. what a day.
that's the only way to describe it. "oh."
well. school for the first time in a week. that was a whole lot of fun.
>and we have a winner Chuck, tell them what we got for them.
Well Sam, we have a big helping of FUCK YOU<
school is gay and that's how i felt. hmmhmm. cool ey? not at all.
wellllll. then after school i had work. super. jeff came over for like 1/2 hour tho before work. that was good. i was happy. hmmm
score: me-0...you-3
yea. whateva. *smile*
work was cool. in that not so cool sort of way. the grl came in 45 mins late. i thot i was gonna have to close. i would have been pissed. damn the man.
i made $22 in tips. that kicked some ass. i bought $3 in gas. >hey big spender< bought my uncle his sweater, and pitched in for sochers dyke ring.
ricky hooked me up on the sweater. that was fecking cool. only $16. ahh. i love being cheap.
amanda and i. well. we caused some chaos. and we cleaned out my car. hey, one rock, two birds :) i love being a fugitive. i feel so black leather.
came home. talked to jeff. among others. updated and now i'm off to bed. i feel like a dead girl walking. oh man.
sleep=love.
*we haven't fucked yet, but my head's spinning*
oh man. sometimes. i rock.
xoxoxoxox

oh superman.
just finished my chemisty. that was fun. hmm. paraphrasing a wonderful thing, ey?
well. today i was an hour late for work. what else is new. i'm surprised they haven't fired me yet, i am ALWAYS late. it's absolutley ridiculuous. i think i put too many u's in that word. eh. well that was boring. we were dead at work. but i made like 25 dollars in tips. ahhh. to be a hott, donut girl. :)
got out of work at 3:20, rather than my scheduled time of 5. I really suck at this whole following my schedule thing.
went home. took a shower. got dressed. went to jeffs. oh man.
i could write a book. I seriously <3 that kid. madly. he's amazing. twice. :) yep. we were at his house for umm like 3 hours, it felt like 3 mins. time seriously flys when i hang out with him. then we took my brother xmas shopping at the mall.
my brother and jeff are adorable. they are my 2 fave guys ever. i finally caught up a lil more on my shopping. i got my step mom and tiff something. phew. now onlye 2 more ppl left. thank fecking god.
well. we dropped my brother off and went back to jeff's. hung out. wow. i feel like such a girl, but wow. jeff is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. i seriosuly cannot stop smiling when i'm around him. ack. and when he kisses me. i melt. wow. i seriously think that's the only way to describe it. i don't know why i deserve him. he's too good. awww. i feel like such a geek. :). i'll take geek as long as this feeling it with it.
then i came home. and attacked my chemistry. the end.
i'm off to bed now. school tomorrow. first time in a week. super. 2 more days to vaca. i'm pumped. a real vaca, not a death inspired on.
*You do something to me, that I can't explain*
xoxoxoxoxox

oh superman.
just finished my chemisty. that was fun. hmm. paraphrasing a wonderful thing, ey?
well. today i was an hour late for work. what else is new. i'm surprised they haven't fired me yet, i am ALWAYS late. it's absolutley ridiculuous. i think i put too many u's in that word. eh. well that was boring. we were dead at work. but i made like 25 dollars in tips. ahhh. to be a hott, donut girl. :)
got out of work at 3:20, rather than my scheduled time of 5. I really suck at this whole following my schedule thing.
went home. took a shower. got dressed. went to jeffs. oh man.
i could write a book. I seriously <3 that kid. madly. he's amazing. twice. :) yep. we were at his house for umm like 3 hours, it felt like 3 mins. time seriously flys when i hang out with him. then we took my brother xmas shopping at the mall.
my brother and jeff are adorable. they are my 2 fave guys ever. i finally caught up a lil more on my shopping. i got my step mom and tiff something. phew. now onlye 2 more ppl left. thank fecking god.
well. we dropped my brother off and went back to jeff's. hung out. wow. i feel like such a girl, but wow. jeff is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. i seriosuly cannot stop smiling when i'm around him. ack. and when he kisses me. i melt. wow. i seriously think that's the only way to describe it. i don't know why i deserve him. he's too good. awww. i feel like such a geek. :). i'll take geek as long as this feeling it with it.
then i came home. and attacked my chemistry. the end.
i'm off to bed now. school tomorrow. first time in a week. super. 2 more days to vaca. i'm pumped. a real vaca, not a death inspired on.
*You do something to me, that I can't explain*
xoxoxoxoxox

updates.
hmm so yesterday we went to the game. oh man my other two-thirds are fecking funny stuff. who stands up to a crowd of angry high schoolers on their turf? that's rite. *34* that's the way to represent. hmmm, then we, proceeding to rub in the fact they lost, well just till we reached our car. then suddenly, we were attacked by gucci. a ferious, mommy car driving, gucci wearing bitch.welp. we taught her a lesson. the police officer asked us to quiet down. and leave. we left. but we made sure they knew it. :)
thennn....
picked adam, danni, and jeff up. we watched Goonies(sp?), i have to say, it's an awesome movie. never seen it before. apparently that was a sin. oops. rewind. at jeff's house b4 we went back to danni's we exchanged gifts. yea so about Jeff being amazing. DESPITE WHAT SOME COLLEGE PEOPLE THINK.urg. not going there. sooo...ok i got him a superman thing(it flys around the room), a sweater(he looks so cute), and a tigger...we'll keep that one a secret. pshh. anyway. yup so i got my gifts. he made me a mixed cd that just melt my heart. when a boy puts a song that says "how do you did it, make me feel like i do," ur heart is melted. aww. yea that's not even the best part. he got me a gold heart braclet. it's beautiful and horribly romantic. ohh boy. blah blah. then i slept over. i love moments. esp. one's where i sleep over or he does.
hmmm. worked today. nothing special there.
i went to the show today. meg, you did wonderful and amanda i think gets the award for cool shit given to one in one night.
i got a free cd and told off a mosher. i am the coolest person alive.
hung with jenn for a bit. hung out the palombo boys. u know what that means...haha. ohhhhh budddddy. now tagg, mitti, and ricky are partaking in extracurricular activities. aha.
blahhhh. time to go, eat something.
*i.miss.you*
xoxoxoxox

Nala love Jacques. aww. <3
Funeral today. i cried when i tried to sing. it was weird. i'm ok tho. i got 2 roses from the funeral.
i am in love with white roses.
amanda came with me. gotta love best friends. we took pictures at the mall. excellent. :)
i love alicia. esp. cuz she's a quitter. coach d. suck a dick. ahhh. i feel better.
game tonite. then hanging out with Jeff, Danni, and Adam. we ought to have a good time. i'm exchanging gifts. danni said mine would suck compared to his. aww. he rocks. mine are pretty cool tho.
well i'm off to go eat some fine cuisine from casa de socher. byee.
xoxoxoxo.

still burning buildings :-D

i'm gonna burn buildings.

kjsdafbkjdfssdfshitakjdaldfuck.jflajf
i'm killing myself. my mother can be so fucking obnioux. she wants me to sing "my immortal" at the funeral. i don't want to. that is my song with happy thoughts. why the fuck would i want to sing it and from then forth think of my dead grandfather. i really don't mean to be selfish but. this song means something to me. i don't want to lose that. i told her i wouldn't sing for her right now. it's fucking 10 of 11 and she's in her room with the door closed. apparently i did something wrong. ARklfjsjdfjfsddfiljasdlfjaowisejt
that's exactly how i feel. seriously. i have the best nites. i try to take my mind off the whole situation and she throws it in my face. some ppl handle death differently than others i would rather now discuss it. i just want to talk to jeff again.
he seriously made my nite tonite. i feel so comfortable around him. ohh superman. :) i love going over his house. the entire ride home i feel like i'm floating. then i get home. and my mom has rocks. blah. that's ok, i have all my memories. *smile* you honestly make smiling easy.
yep. got the wake tomorrow. that ought to be fun. yep. hmmmm. won't see anyone all day except my disfunctional family.
i'm already missing you.
i've updated 3 times today. i really think i need a life. i absolutely am in love with updating tho. i wish i printed them out and saved them for years to follow. i'm a crazy grl.
hmmmm. sooooo let's think about something else. jen didn't bring me my cookies. fecker. and i still have to get Jeff something else for xmas. except i dno what. he already decided he's gonna get me something from the 25 cent machines. haha. that's alrite if anyone asks me where i got my fabulous jewelery i'll be sure to tell them my equally as fabulous boyfriend got it for me for xmas. i'm pysched. :)
i think i 'm gonna try not to update for like a whole day....i doubt i can do it..
i honestly love gushing all my thots down in here. it's soooo theraputic.
i took 2 showers today. splendid.
well i think i may go to bed it's 11 and i'm exhausted. i had quite a busy nite. :) oh man. it's bad when you laugh at your own jokes rite?....yep.
G'nite xoxox
*oooooooh. superman*you still have all of me*
*kisses*

oh man.
I think i'm addicted to writing in here. actually i prolly just have no life. but with all that's going on and when i'm alone i'd rather write it all down and get it out of my mind and here rather than letting sit in the shelves of my mind collecting dust.
soooo. whoever has me for secret santa. i know what i want for xmas. i think this is one of like 4 things i want and the other 3 my 'rents bought me. i want the Story of the Year cd. I'm obsessed with this guys voice. holy shit. it's like i'm somewhere else. i haven't had this feeling with music in so long. and today waaalaa. it's back. i dled this song b/c i liked it. well i don't think i ever really listened to it. b/c today it was like hearing the song for the first time. absolutely amazing....hmmm. oh yes. and i want the brand new cd. whoa. 5 things. damn i'm greedy.
*you remind me of the times when i knew who i was* that's amazing. i think that's my word of the day.
my brother got a hair cut. it's cute.
socher. i miss you man. thanks for being there. ur im's cheer me up. love you xoxox.
jenn's bringing me cookies to cheer me up. i love her. she's so goddamn cheery. she rubs off on me. i think i want to go xmas shopping but the only ppl i have left are....
my uncle (family secret santa)
tiff (haha. bowl)
deb....eh
and jeff. fecker.
i dno what else to get him.
ohh boy.