SnOwFlAkE *

:: 2004 13 August :: 10.43am
:: Mood: annoyed

grrrrr
brittany and second hour---> i wanna know the story and i have to wait untill she gets outta school!im gunna be thinking about it all day!

danny im sorry about my mom :o(

xO*

edit
got my story... it was interestin to say the least but it dosetn even bother me like i thought it was gunna. ::shurgs:: dosent even seem to matter..

shooting star

xxbabiigurlxx

:: 2004 13 August :: 2.31am

me and emily....

Floorboard's filled with baby toys,
An' empty coke bottles an' coffee cups.
Drivin' through the rain with no radio,
Tryin' not to wake her up.
Cell 'phone says "low battery",
God, what if I break down?
I'm just lookin' for an exit with a lotta lights,
A safe little interstate town.

Just a cheap hotel,
With a single bed,
And cable TV:
Is good enough for me an' Emily.

Some day, when she's old enough,
She's gonna start askin' questions about him.
Some kid at school brings his Dad for show an' tell,
An' gets her little mind a-wonderin':
"Where's my Daddy? Do I have one?
"Does he not love me like you do?"
Oh, maybe I'll find someone to love the both of us,
An' I'll tell her when she's old enough to know the truth.

Will it break her heart?
Will she understand,
That I had to leave?
That's what was best for me an' Emily.

That house was never clean enough; his dinner never warm enough.
Nothing I did was ever good enough to make him happy.
So, I guess, he gave me what he thought I deserved,
But it would kill me if he ever raised his hand to her.

Big rigs are throwin' rain on my windshield,
An' I feel like they're laughin' at me.
Fin'lly the storm is lettin' up,
An' the mornin' is breakin' free.

It's a brand new day,
It's a second chance.
Yesterday is just a memory,
For me an' Emily.

Floorboard is filled with baby toys,
An' empty coke bottles an' coffee cups.
Least there's one good thing that he gave me,
An' she's startin' to wake up.

shooting star

xxbabiigurlxx

:: 2004 12 August :: 11.10am
:: Mood: aggravated

grrrrrrrrrr
i changed it again, not that you cant tell, but my computer keeps freezing so its stuck like this for now. sorry its hard to read and not to great lookin' but itll all be fixed soon lol...

---------> anyways ... i took my car in today. i have NO car NO way to get anywhere witch means i wont see danny :o( a BLAH! and my mom is in orlando again excpet i believe shes staying the night this time cuz she has to be their tomorrow again.... ::shrugs:: oh well ill update later.

xO*

when you feel like giving up
just remember why you held on so long

shooting star

xxbabiigurlxx

:: 2004 11 August :: 7.47pm
:: Mood: curious
:: Music: only one

lala whats goin' on?

hey babes....whats goin' on? im at krystinas again.. monica and her appartment, is very nice :o) i like it, hmmm anyways today i hung out with danny and then krystina came home i went and picked up brittany but i had to take my car home because its extreamly fucked up and the brakes were going out, sooo yeah i was scared :o(....but yeah i found out a few mintues ago, a very unwanted female goes to my school----> blahhhhhh!! yuppp oh fuckin' well, urmm lets seee.... i guess thats about it but imma go talk to dave and britt ... write moree later...possibly?

xOxO* <333 danny <333

7 wishes | shooting star

xxbabiigurlxx

:: 2004 11 August :: 2.06am
:: Mood: crushed

im going back--> back to the beging
I don't wanna fall to pieces
I just want to sit and stare at you
I don't want to talk about it
And I don't want a conversationg
I just dont want to cry in front of you
I don't want to talk about it
cuz im in love with you
-----------------------------------------------------------

You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
All of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
It's nice to know that you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done

bought the cd today <33 the 2 songs...yyuppp...

do the last entry!! evevm tho the questions are wacko! lol xO* <33

---->I LOVE YOU DANNY!

shooting star

xonixieox

:: 2004 10 August :: 5.21pm

lalalala

its so funny watching people try to piss me off! i love fucking with peopes heads sometimes! lol

anyways cheer camp was AWESOME! ya kimmy cait and gia!

We're awesome girls! Hell ya FULL DOWNS! i gots pictures!

^Ya Kimmy!!!!

^me and Jan Jan!

^cait not paying attention!!

^janet being a Weirdo!!! lmao

^us and some other town doing stuff.. i look so FAT! (im such a bad base.. using my back instead of my legs .. bad bad)

^Anna Cait and Me!!! arent we so cute?? ya i konw!

ok so anyways im bored so thats all i wanted to say!

<3 NikkiE

1 wish | shooting star

xxbabiigurlxx

:: 2004 10 August :: 1.24am
:: Mood: guilty

Our communication
Hey! How do you greet me?:
Bye. How do you end conversation with me?:
How often do we talk?:
If often, why?:
If not often, why?:
Are we good friends?:

Do you really know me?
What's my real name?:
What's my favorite color?:
What's my favorite bands?:
What's my hobbies?:
What's my hair color?:
My eye color?:
What do I cherish?:

Songs
What song reminds you of me?:
What song reminds me of you, if Ive told you?:
What song suits me when I'm sad?:
Mad?:
Happy?:
What song reminds you of our friendship?:

Fun, Sad, Funniest, and Stupidest Things
Whats my idea of fun?:
Whats the funnest thing we've ever did?:
Whats my idea of sadness?:
Whats the thing Ive been most sad about?:
Whats my idea of funny?:
Whats the funniest thing Ive done/said?:
Whats my idea of stupid?:
Whats the stupidest thing Ive said or done?:

If___ you would?
If I were to become a rock star, you would do/say?:
If I were to star in a movie, you would do/say?:
If I were shot, you would do/say?:
If I were to keep things hidden, you would do/say?:
If I were to say I love you, you would do/say?:
If I were to say I hate you, you would do/say?:
If I were to make a game, you would do/say?:
If I were to go missing, you would do/say?:
If I were to become a professional artist, you would do/say?:
If I moved to your town, you would do/say?:
If I were to leave without a note, you would do/say?:
If I were to wear a mask, would you recognize me?:
If I were to die, you would do/say?:

I____(What would've happened, or what would I have said/done)
I wrote about you in my secret journal, what did I write?:
I dreamt about you, what did I dream?:
I thought about you, what did I think?:|
I cried about you, why did I cry?:
I called you today, what did I say?:
I commented you today, about what?:
I helped you today, with what?:

Last Questions
What do you like about me?:
What don't you like about me?:
The coolest thing about me?:
The weirdest?:
The funniest?:
The stupidest?:
The prettiest thing about me?:
Kindest?:
Sweetest?:
Silliest?:
Funnest?:
What's the most rememberable thing I've said/done?:
What would you do if I was depressed?:
Sad?:
Crying?:
Upset?:
Sleeping?:
Laughing at/with you?:
What would you do if we never knew each other?:

2 wishes | shooting star

xxbabiigurlxx

:: 2004 9 August :: 10.52pm
:: Mood: unsure
:: Music: come clean-hillary duff

Lets go back, back to the beging <3...
well im finally back from vacation!...urm or my trip to tampa/bush gardens whatever ya wanna call it it was pretty fun :o) but i was deff ready to come home by the second day.. i was miss everyone back home

friday--* we left at 8am!!... we drove up there.. it wasnt a bad drive either, brittany was reading all the signs and acting completely stupid lol it was fun..and she lost her job as navigator---i got it--- ;o) hah yeah...hmm lets see once we got there we couldnt get our rooms for another 2 and a half hours SO...we whent to lunch with john and crista((* her older sister and her soon to be husband ;o) *)) whent back to the hotel and whent swimming, well everyone but me and brittany we watched tv lol...urmm after that we whent to the movies to see spider man 2, but we got so freakin lost we were at the imax and not the something else so we were sitting in the parking lot waiting for crista to go find directions and john busts out with his gutair and starts makin a song, lol it was an interesting one. and some guy walked buy and whent to his car and got his drums and started playing on the car. it was greatt!... but yeah so we whent and saw the movie and it was pretty good. me and brittany we pretty anxious to leave the theater so we were sining and dancin and makin fun of everyone, there were only like 2 other people in there...and at the end she goes " go get em tiger" and so i made my lil growling noise really loud and it was extreamly funny ::shrugs:: maybe ya had tro be there... but then the credits, came on and our song came on and we were runnign around danin, lol it was funny...

saturday--* we woke up...whent to bush gardens.. it was alright brittanys a baby!!!! haha jk! but she wouldnt go one the roller coasters so i whent on em with her sis and her boyfriend... it was awesome...and urm i deff fell in love with the place because everything!!! it associated with whitetigers :o) ahhh they had so many cute things and !! there were real tigers!! :-D, hah it was great i got a thinggy that says my name its like a green mirror? urm i dunno its pretty awesome tho! and yeah as we were leaving it poured but we were all soaked from befor,cuz of all the water rides, no one cared. i was wearing all white, smart me lol and brittanys white shorts.. we juss werent prepared lol yeah so we got back to the hotel and everyone whent swimming and thatw as our night, well me and brittany made friends with the workers in the lobby.. who became obbsessed with us.

sunday--* urm slept in! haha good stuff and we swam all day and played pool and whent out to dinner that was that.. not much ohh but our friends in the lobby called right and hes like this is a routine to see if the power is working...yet he didnt call anywhere else. so we go down to the lobby and talk to him and caught him in his lie ;o) he juss wanted to see us lol..anyways..we sat in there untill 12ish and talked to him on the black sofas...;o) hah

monday--* woke up early and drove to cristas house...and her work, we stayed for a few hours. then drove HOME! :o)
yeah that was it it was fun but im outta shyt to say so... whatever!

good night ;O)

xO*

jake----> thanks for the phone call ;o) mean a lot

shooting star

xxbabiigurlxx

:: 2004 5 August :: 12.46pm
:: Mood: bored

hola

ahhh whats up? well im leaving tomorrow for four days! going to bush gardens and to brittanys sisters house...yupp its gunna be me britt logan chy and her mom, oh and once we get there, her sister and her boyfriend lol yeahh it should be fun and what not...but yeah im going over to dannys so ill write more later? maybe ! :o)

xO*<333

2 wishes | shooting star

xonixieox

:: 2004 5 August :: 11.21am

ok well i went to genes wake.. and it was so hard.. i couldnt sleep since it happened..

the second i went into the wake i decided that i couldnt go up to the casket.. it was too hard.. then when i saw amanda being so strong and not crying i just broke down.. i dont know why i just did! so i cryed for the 2 and a half hours i was there basically... when i saw big gene and chris crying it broke my heart.

3 things made me really break down...

#1 was when genes best friend Ryan nelt down and prayed and then kissed Genes forehead! that made me lose it the most...

#2 was when Big Gene stood over little Gene and was rubbing his head and kissing him and crying! that was so heartbreaking to watch.. but i know gene is in a better place..

#3 was when Ryan and Adam.. Genes two best friends in the world nelt down next to Gene and prayed for like a half hour..

those 3 things were the worst for me to watch...

Amanda carried around Gens Duck from when he was little and that was really sad... but when Big Gene gave me a hug and wouldnt let go... i started bawling..

I even gave Lisa a hug (Gene and amanda's stepmom) and she hugged me and was like "im so happy your here.. Gene was so lucky to have Friends like you" i fucking started Bawling there too! the whole 2 1/2 hours were just non stop crying for me becca and lizzy! it was so bad!

i finnaly had enough courage to go up to the casket ot show my repects but i couldnt do it alone so Nikki Z came up with me.. i was so glad she was there because i coulnd do it on my own.. im so thankful for her.. and her brother died so she knows how it feels and she will help amanda throught this..

well im starting to cry writing this so im gunna go .. but.. i just want to say that that was the hardest thing i have ever had to go through in my life!

I really wanted to go to the Funeral but i couldnt get a ride.. everyone sed it was hard so i guess im kinda glad i dint go... maybe

gene is always in my heart

3 wishes | shooting star

xxbabiigurlxx

:: 2004 5 August :: 4.06am
:: Mood: blah

<333

o ai ni
sa-rang-hae
je t'aime
l'amo
Ik hou van je
jeg elsker dig
te amo

whether its chinese.. korean.. french.. italian.. dutch.. danish or spanish.. there's one thing i wanna say.. I love you
I love you i really do one day you'll understand.

shooting star

xxbabiigurlxx

:: 2004 4 August :: 2.42pm
:: Mood: pissed

bfdbgkhfngjngfjnkfnmfd
urm grrr guh fhfdkdfjbjkifdfjd blah SO! i woke up today and i whent to sanalouces ya kno? still had to get all my stuff so i could go their. well yeah whatever i cant start school untill the 16th how fucking wonderful is that, not only did i not like that fact that i had to go to a new school where i didnt know where to go, nor did i know anyone, but now i have to go through it in the second week of school and not the 1st day of school yeah i dont get to start school untill like 1030 on the 16th, hgbhfhd GR!!! :o(... i hate beging all nervouse and having that funny feeling in mt tummy....especially in the second week of school grr nfbjkfdjfd im SO aggrivated and hbrfh blah i dont even know how to explain this, i cant believe this is happing... fuckkkkk me!

whatever im going out
Peace*

edit
Lake worth high school sent me my schedual for next week, what thefuck?

7 wishes | shooting star

xxbabiigurlxx

:: 2004 4 August :: 1.51am
:: Mood: cranky

good morning beautiful how was your night?? mine was wonnnnnnnderful

urm yeah so anyways! hmmm well lets see today was a pretty good day i woke up sat online with brittany untill 2 we whent home so her mom could go out we played video games for a while and that was it. danny called me after a while and we whent to watch him and zac and josh and alla them play paintball.. it was quite amusing. :o) haha yeahhh so after that i droped brittany logan and chy off (( josh hit logan in the stomach ---poor kidd--)) and then i whent home took a shower, and danny came over.. for a lil then we whent to his house, then he came back over, lol yeahhh and that was my night....tomorrow im goignt o get registered and take my car in to get fixed, thats about it. and hopefully going to see dannnnyyyy! <333 :-D... yuppp anyways i got shyt to do so be safe ;o)

xO* danny<333

shooting star

xxbabiigurlxx

:: 2004 4 August :: 3.36am
:: Mood: restless
:: Music: sunshine-lil flip

-//<3-

i love you danny

2 wishes | shooting star

xonixieox

:: 2004 2 August :: 8.42pm
:: Mood: depressed

i cant believe it happened! its not fair.. he was so young.. im sitting here bawling my eyes out and poor amanda.. did anyone stop to think about her or her family... Gene was so young.. way to youung... i cant ewven write but this is what i want gene to here!

Gene,
you were like a brother to me... i used to tell you i wished you were my brother... becasue you treated me better than my own brother did. we even acted like a big family at your house with amanda and your mom! we would fight.. we would laugh.. and sometimes we would cry .. but we always loved eachother.. and there are SO many poeple who love oyu and miss you! i nkow you loved coming to your moms and i loved when you were there... especially when you got your liscence... that was awesome.. i remember emmes spoccer game when you drove me and becca around when you werent supposed to! i remember so many time we had so much fun.. even when you and amanda would hit eachother and then you would hit me.. and even those times will always be in my memory of how much i love you and miss you! so if you can hear or read this or whatever just know that i love you... and i just hope you are in a better place now! i love you so much Gene.. i really do!

Love, NikkiE
you

4 wishes | shooting star