My Rants and Thoughts

:: 2003 20 July :: 12.52am
:: Mood: infuriated
:: Music: Tupac - N.I.G.G.A

You Don't Feel This Way

I lay in the grass and look at the clouds,
to see what shapes I'll find
But all I can see is your face,
I can't get you out of my mind
sometimes I look at you,
and want you to hold me
but that will never happen again,
you don't feel this way for me
you don't mean to hurt me,
but it hurts seeing you every day
but I'm not going to tell you,
I know you don't feel this way
it will hurt even more,
when I have to see you with he
but you won't care,
because you'll be happy I'm sure
you used to be considerate,
of the way you made others feel
you were there for all my broken hearts,
you assured me that they'd heal
you were always there to comfort me,
you made everything okay
you know I'd like to be more than friends,
but I know you don't feel this way
when you look my way and smile,
I remember when we had more
it felt so right when I was in your arms,
things will never be like before
I remember one night,
when you were comforting me
you gave me a hug,
and I began to see
you meant more to me than just a best friend,
my feelings for you were strong
but you were with someone else,
so what I was feeling was wrong
I'd never told anyone,
the way I felt for you
then I found out you liked me,
all my dreams had come true
I waited so long.
then I got my chance
I was happy with you,
all we were missing was romance
who were you thinking about,
when you were kissing me
and when you looked my way,
who's face did you want to see
I tried to break it off,
but you wouldn't let me go
you were killing me inside,
but I made sure it didn't show
and after everything that we've been through,
you're throwing our friendship away
I feel so abandoned and hurt,
but I know you don't feel this way

2 Spoke their Minds | Speak Your Mind!!

:: 2003 15 July :: 11.47am
:: Mood: disappointed
:: Music: raging torment in my head

Midnight Kiss

Once upon a midnight kiss
I lost my soul to evil bliss
The shadow on my window sill
Swept away all thought and will
In the deepest hour of night
No strength to scream or fight

Radiating beauty and hot desire
She kindled in me such raging fire
From all the years of lonely yearning
The culmination of passion burning
Eagerly dying to be captured
Utterly consumed with lust for rapture

And now there is only the pain
Punctuated by floods of blood
Other emotions reined and bound
Mortal peace ne'er more be found
At times I bask in hellish glory
But wish to end this sad story

So I beg you please, be wary
Before enticing darkness' fury
But if you do so entreat
I'll gladly drink your life, my sweet
To briefly still my malignant heart
A lashing bite and then we part

:: 2003 8 July :: 2.33am
:: Mood: artistic
:: Music: Sound of the Rain

Greatness

Buckets of rain
Buckets of tears
Got all them buckets comin' out of my ears.
Buckets of moonbeams in my hand,
I got all the love, honey baby,
You can stand.

I been meek
And hard like an oak
I seen pretty people disappear like smoke.
Friends will arrive, friends will disappear,
If you want me, honey baby,
I'll be here.

Like your smile
And your fingertips
Like the way that you move your lips.
I like the cool way you look at me,
Everything about you is bringing me
Misery.

Little red wagon
Little red bike
I ain't no monkey but I know what I like.
I like the way you love me strong and slow,
I'm takin' you with me, honey baby,
When I go.

Life is sad
Life is a bust
All ya can do is do what you must.
You do what you must do and ya do it well,
I'll do it for you, honey baby,
Can't you tell?

You Want Fireworks !! Here .. Much Cheaper !

:: 2003 5 July :: 3.10pm
:: Mood: angry
:: Music: 50 Cent - Don't Push Me

Stuff
4th of july is overrated .... it was pretty boring day. went to jeffy's sisters and spent the day there. watched some shitty fireworks .. I don't get fireworks .. there so "pretty" but have no use. spend money to shoot it in the air .. might as well sent fire to some cash.

we went to some gay party. it was pretty boring there too. almost a fight because we blew up a hotdog and got it all over this kid and he wanted to start some shit, but he left cuz he was a pussy. the highlight of the day was jeff and I buying an old school slip n slide and playin wit that ... haha .. ahhhhh childhood memories.

tonight im going to the bucos game to see them loose prolly, then spend some time wit my bro then home.. gonna be boring I guess .. but I get some sweet QuakerState Wings uhhhhh ! yea .. ok im out

:: 2003 30 June :: 3.44pm
:: Mood: infuriated
:: Music: Beyonce n Jay Z - So Crazy in Luv

errrrrrrg
you know what .. today I woke up and decided that so far ... my last summer in the dub P has totally sucked ... besides my 2 upcomming trips ..... I can't think of anything that happened that was good ... way to go summer ..... bah

/rant off

:: 2003 25 June :: 5.04pm
:: Mood: bouncy
:: Music: 50 cent - Luv Me

Yeeeaaaaaaaa
Today Is My Birthday ... You May All Bow Down And Kiss My Feet Now ....

Thank You For Your Time

Muhahahah

:: 2003 23 June :: 2.12pm
:: Mood: aggravated
:: Music: Lifehouse - Hangin By a Moment

I Are Bored
well im frickin bored right now .. jeff came over and woke my ass up ... I was so pissed off .. bleh ... I stole this thing off my friend and since im THIS bored ima do it ... heh

1) First Grade Teacher: Mrs Beck
2) Last word you said: Bye
3) Last song you sang: house of a 1000 corpses
4) Last person you hugged: jeff
6) Last time you said 'I love you': too long ago
7) Last time you cried: few nights ago
8) What's in your CD player: mixes
9) What color socks are you wearing: no socks
10) What's under your bed: dust ... i don't really know
11) What time did you wake up today: 12:30 cuz of jeff
12) Current taste: wendys
13) Current hair: shaved
14) Current clothes: SRU cut off and some shorts
15) Current annoyance: too many to name right now
16) Current longing: my home.
17) Current desktop picture: the bleu jelly scence from old school
18) Current worry: im done worryin bout stuff
19) Current hate: hahah ....
20) Story behind your LJ username: its my nickname ....
21) Current favourite article of clothing: um my boxers .. there pretty sexy right now
22) Favourite physical feature of the opposite sex/same sex: eyes are everything ...
23) Last CD that you bought: i don't buy CDs
24) Favourite place to be: anyplace cold
25) Least favourite place: wit certain ppl
26) Time you wake up in the morning: 1 or 2 in the after noon .. unless i gotta work
27) If you could play an instrument, what would it be: the harp
28) Favorite color: baby blue
29) Do you believe in an afterlife: of course
30) How tall are you: 6"1'
31) Current favourite word/saying: F off
32) Favorite book: anything by T.S Elliot
33) Favorite season: Winter
34) One person from your past you wish you could go back and talk to: Father
35) Favorite day: don't have one .. there all useless days .. just a countdown b4 the end
36) Where do you want to go: UNC
37) What is your career going to be like: sumthin wit computers ..
38) How many kids do you want?: right now .. i don't really know
39) What kind of car will you have: something nice
40) Type a line you remember from any book: the end
41) A random lyric: "I was blind... but o how you could see .. you saw the beauty in me .. and everything .. sweet misery you caused me .. thats what you called me ... "
42) Identify some things surrounding your computer: speakers .. bunch of shit ...

:: 2003 18 June :: 9.36pm
:: Mood: numb
:: Music: Black Label Society - Too Numb to Cry

.....
Even When Im Sad and Depressed ... Silly Shit Like This always Seems to Make Me Smile just a Little Bit

http://www.starterupsteve.com/swf/Group_X_video.html

2 Spoke their Minds | Speak Your Mind!!

:: 2003 12 June :: 9.21pm
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: Boxcar Racer - Forget About Me

Finally ...
Well Finally something to make me smile this week ....

was drivin home from work yesterday and all of the sudden ... I was like .. Mom, I want to go to Florida .. and Soon .. well she looked at me wit a puzzled look and I was like .. no , for real. I haven't been to our house down there in 2 years and I wanna go Damn it. So she was like fine, Ill set it up and today it was set up. I am just happy I can get away from the world for awhile .. Im thinkin about draggin Jeffy along so I can have some fun .. if he gets over his fear of flyin .. pussy .. but the best part of it is ... the week Im going is the week after I get back from ocean city ... so soon as I get back I will have to re pack and leave again .. 2 weeks off of life is going to be great .. Need to clear my Mind anyway .. This Trip can't come soon enough ....

Hmmm me and Jeff alone in Florida .. That should be interesting ...

ok .. enough of me being happy .. time to go back to being depressed =(

:: 2003 11 June :: 6.55pm
:: Mood: Sad
:: Music: Jay-Z - Crazy in Love

Bleeeeeeeh
Past few days have sucked :( nuff said ....

:: 2003 31 May :: 1.52pm
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: Blindside - She Shut You Eyes

< Enter Your Own Here >
well its finally done .. graduation is over. I am indeed one happy person. although there is still some stuff bringin me down, but thats life .. you get happy shit .. then of course depressin shit ... I thought I was over being depressed .. but I guess I was just so use to the tears .. that I can't give them up ... so what did I do after graduation ? well I followed my heart and stayed sober and watched a movie .. It made me laugh a little so that was a good thing ... then my mother wanted to watch that gay ass slideshow thingie ... and then I just got sad again ... too many memories... Just woke up a little bit ago .. gonna go play some ball I think at the Y .. only got a week left to practice ... Maybe Ill try to cook some lunch and will hurt myself like otherwise and will bleed to death ... sounds like fun to me right now .. Im done ranting ..

I took this silly quiz .. I was bored ..

Lata

IRIS
ah yes. the iris. you are the mysterious one of
the bunch. you sometimes have a sad tinge
about you, yet you're still great to be around.
you probably have a deep poetic soul. express
it if you aren't already. you probably like to
be alone, but when you do get out with your
friends you enjoy it. you really are a trend
setter, even if you may not realise it. people
are drawn to your charisma and want to be like
you. try to have a more optimistic outlook--
things are probably better than they seem!

what non-stereotypical flower would you be (with pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla

:: 2003 30 May :: 4.34am
:: Mood: Lonely
:: Music: Jurrasic 5 - Whats Golden

Lonely
well .. 16 hours till the big event.. Graduation .. I Can't even sleep im so excited. I just can't stop thinking about how many good times I have had in the past 4 years.. of course there are those bad times too, but we won't go there tonight. I really won't miss Geibel at all, just most of the people. Ive met some really good people and its a shame that some of them im never going to see again. Im gonna miss some of them alot, but hey .. what are you gonna do .. life goes on I guess. Im going to miss good ol JR alot heh .. I might even go and visit that brilliant man .. hell maybe one day buy him a beer and shoot the breeze wit him. There are gonna be alot of tears tommorow .. Well deserved tears , we had a good class and I only hope the best for all of them .. Yea .. Even Big Al .. Me, I dunno yet .. I Might Shed a Few Tears .. Just depends on the moment I guess .. Life is just a bunch of lil moments that happen one after another .. I Just like to wait and see what happens .. Shit , Maybe something crazy will happen and someone will fall off the stage .. That would go over real well .. well I already did the shout outs in a recent entry so you can just go back and look at it there .. im not gonna re write all of that .. heh .. but I do wish the best for the Class of 2003 and Congratz to all
I Look very forward to the last summer in the WP wit my friends n G/F .. its gonna be a blast ... Im getting tired now .. Maybe I can force myself to sleep now ... Sweet Dreams All

:: 2003 27 May :: 8.45pm
:: Mood: Sad
:: Music: Bon Jovi - Bed of Roses

##$##
Even when I Have What I Want ... and When I am 110% Happy ... Shit Still Goes Wrong ... Why ... Why Me .. Why Can't I Just Be Happy.. Why Can't People Just Let me Be Happy ... I Don't Understand Life At All Yet ... I Hope I Will One Day ..

:: 2003 22 May :: 2.50pm
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: Blindside - Painting

Dreamz
One day I hope I will wake up and all my problems will just go away and be solved ....