when you're on the outside and you can't get in, i will show you that you're so much better than you know
gosh this song makes me just wanna hold somebody close to me and never let go... sigh. speaking of, i have a new found attraction to someone... i've told many people that i have a "new crush", but i've only told two people who it is... hee hee hee! now i dont LIKE this guy, i dont even know him! i just got my eye on him. oh and btw! ben IMed me today!! just randomly out of the blue, it was so bizarre. he's all like "too busy to say hi?" and i was like "YOURE the busy one lately!" and he said something like "naw i have time for my friends" and "just thought i'd say hi"...yup, i knew it, he misses me! he misses the attention i gave him! HA! see what happens when christina stops providin the love.

today was hmmm a pretty useless day. history was same ol same ol jus chillin and listenin to la maestra. then art, which was ultra relaxing cuz once everybody's into painting... the whole room goes -silent-. it's amazing that when you concentrate on art, you don't talk, cuz talking uses the other side of the brain. then i went to pe and all we did was go in the portables. then english... sigh, mr mcmanus what the heck are you doing?! lol. i have to read like 40 more pages for wednesday. i hate it when he plans like this. but i figured out what i'm doing for my project! I'm doing a poetry scrapbook like that one girl in huck finn did. she did it all about death and crap, and so ashley c's doing it about death, but i want to do my scrapbook about *life* and all the wonderful and painful experiences we go through. sound good? i hope it turns out good! now i just need to put my writing skills to the test and let my emotions flow. anyways, nothing else new besides that. ttyl, much love!

xoxoxo

my 48 hours we with danielle
we took a spontaneous trip to orlando. too tired. the end.

in the arms of the angel far away from here

anyways today was kinda just like a regular ol day. in history, all we did was take our russia test [plus mrs.mezinski bitched at ashton and ashton left] and a special someone else also took a test for ap history. but moving onto better subjects, art was extremely boring and dull. so was pe. and english was semi-interesting, a little better than usual. the bus ride was blah too. this whole day was just like... THERE. nothing major happened and nothing exciting went down but i guess everyday cant be amusing and entertaining! oh well. this is probly my shortest journal entry EVER. EVER.

quiz results
here are a LOT of quizzes... quite interesting. aww im a heart. yesh joel is a major hottie. i know i'm a perfect girlfriend! why the hell do i not have a boyfriend? if pain is beauty then i must be beautiful. lmao! i'm only 25% azn!


Heart


For girls: what random object are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


"Hailie's Song" - you're sweet and true
to your heart.


Which Eminem Song Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


You come from Heaven. You're the purest of pure, a
saint. You're probably an angel sent directly
from Heaven.


Where Did Your Soul Originate?
brought to you by Quizilla


your eyes show love


which eye are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


Demure Flirt


What Kind of FLIRT are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


Joel-

Oh wow,
you got Joel.
Main singer,
Major hottie,
not TOO punkish,
and again i'll say it...
major hottie.


**Whose your Good Charlotte HOTTIE?!?!**
brought to you by Quizilla


-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.


What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

You are pink. You are in limbo. Not pure and manipulated like white, not impure and noble like red. You are unsure of your real identity, but whatever you chose it to be, you can be it. That is your power. You change everyone you touch, and everyone remembers you. In literature, pink represents the place between heaven and hell. You are the one we will never forget.

Goddess of the Moon. Beauty, yet a sadness lurks
about you at times. But hey, pain is beauty,
right?


What element would you rein over? (For Girls)
brought to you by Quizilla


You are an IDEALISTIC VIRGIN.


What Kind of Virgin Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


Be happy thats right just be like a fire spredind
everywhere. its all good you'll always be very
happy and thats a good thing, your a summer
fairy


What kind of fairy are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


Legolas Orlando


What Orlando Bloom are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


gotta work harder 25%


How azn are u?
brought to you by Quizilla

take my hand

another interesting day
i went to the mall with danielle for like 4 hours and we just had a great time. i dunno how, but time always passes by sooo fast when we're together. it's easy to spend time with each other cuz we get along so well. i know some ppl must think we spend too much time together, but think about it. i never see her in school, and when i do, it's not like how we are on the weekend. it's just different with other people there. me and danielle always find something to do or talk about and so we never get sick of each other. =D

tonight i went to city place cuz it was kimmy's bday. it was a fun night but also like weird. it was good cuz our old crew was together again but bad cuz kimmy had ALL her friends there and we're all friends with kimmy but we're not friends with each other so it was like weird. one kid kimmy knew was soooo hott! i wanted his sweater. and this one kid was a real asshole. these two girls were like saying how they thought me and valerie were sisters and i told valerie and nicole after we left them that maybe bcuz they've never seen an asian before in their life! lol. but its truuue. some girls kimmy hang out with are so... sheltered? i dunno if thats the word but they use phrases like "oh my gay" and they say "fag" a lot and it kinda bothered me and nicole cuz thats not right. anyways, so it wasnt the bestest day, but it was cool. my weekend feels like a vacation. i wish! why must i have so much fun when i dont have school? i have no idea but i guess the grass is always greener on the other side [if it was summer i might be wishing to be in school].

this song rocks! its so me. i was a dumb girl for falling. read the lyrics [dont be lazy!]- you broke my heart today... i dont know what to say. i cant feel a thing at all. i did not see it coming and now you're just a man that got away. i look at the ground and give the sky the middle finger. something inside said "here's a day you should remember", so mark it on the wall. never believe it could happen to me, somethin like this only happens to dumb girls taking themselves to seriously. i was smart, i was the one girl. never believed it could happen to me, something like this only happens to somebody else. i miss you so much i cant stand it. im still hangin on even though you done me wrong. i got the heart to forgive this, but i'll never let you know. what kind of girl would put herself in that position? to think that i could ever fight the system and i got fooled again. i thought i was strong, but i was just dreamin... i cant believe it. nothing was wrong, i thought i knew what was going on, but love was deceivin me. now im just a dumb girl.

friday's events
so school was pretty good considering that its well... school. but for once i think it was actually a damn good day! i came to school and brought this WHOLE huge bag of clothes for danielle's house afterwards. everyone wondered why the hell i had sooo many clothes but hello! ... no one understands me. lol. history was asi asi. art was actually really fun for once cuz we got lots of free time and my table is just so amusing. then we headed to pe which was good cuz we did ABSOLUTELY nothing! and i love doing nothing. lunch was interesting cuz greta came and just... it was just good. lol. english we had a pretty chill day. just an easy evergreen and vocab quiz and then we read some of huck finn. i hate the way mcmanus assigns us stories cuz we're always behind everyone else so he has us read more in a less amount of time.

this whole week has been major drama and i hate drama. the end of english class, devon was complaining to me about how ashley c was all up on her case lately. and i was just like "ok..." and i didnt say anything cuz me and ashley r sorta close so devon's all like "why are you smiling? you're sposed to be mad cuz im upset" or some shit like that and i was like "well devon ya know if ur angry i cant just be automatically angry for you even though you want me to" and then afterwards i told ashley about what she said and ashley went off cuz her week has been ALL drama with other ppl and then we're walking to the bus and she tells jimmy and neil that devon was saying shit and neils all like go tell her off and shit and he was running towards the bus and i grabbed his backpack and i was like NEIL! NO DONT SAY SHIT DONT SAY ANYTHING and of course he goes on the bus and being stupid as he is, he goes off on devon and him and devon sorta argue and uggggh. i was so upset about him ya know and he apologized to me cuz he didnt know that i was the only one devon told. so eventually devon will come bitch to me about shit cuz i know she will and if it ends up in her being all pissed at me and saying im a bitch etc then oh well cuz i've got other friends [which is funny cuz i know devon is jealous when i spend so much time with everyone else but her]. besides that fiasco, we had the best bus ride ever! everything was so damn funny. fridays are the best. greta told me that the pick that i gave ben for hannukah/xmas [which i recently been wanting back], well he had it today in class and he played guitar with it and he chewed on it and it was definitely the one i gave him. i was like wtf? ok...

then i went home with danielle and i immediately called eddie and i got to hear his voice! its so damn funny... his voice is nice, it's like spanish-ghetto voice lol. but anyways he couldnt go so we decided not to go to the fair cuz there was no point. THEN we planned to go to muvico in boca with luan but danielle's parents conflicted with that plan. in the end, we went to muvico in cityplace with johannah. it was fun though! the movie was crowded but we didnt mind cuz the recruit was a pretty darn good and interesting movie. then afterwards we went to barnes and noble to get starbucks and we sat out on the balcony. i think city place is the best place ever to have a date. cuz theres places to eat, places to shop, movies, and places to just sit and talk in the nice weather. after that, we took the scenic route home while we played moulin rouge music in the car. we drove along the intercoastal and it was muy muy muy bonito. all in all, it was a pretty good day cuz of all the neverending entertainment. yay!

christina has so much stress
i got a C on my math quiz. =\ i wasn't too happy about it. i looked at my average for the class, and it's a B. a 79.7! wtf am i gonna do? i dont know. so even if i get 110 on the next test, which im sure i wont, i probably will still have a B on my progress report. i know you're thinking, why is christina stressing? a B is awesome. no, a B in my house... means death. it means not being the best and thats just not allowed for me. i told ashley c in math class after i found out my average "i'm gonna go home and kill myself now so my parents dont have to". its true. but i think i'm going to tell my mom before progress reports come... probly when we're at the movies or something. maybe it'll give me brownie points if i'm honest. i hate lying to my parents. they do so much for me i just cant. so hopefully my mom wont go off on me cuz danielle will be there [girl, thanx for the support].
i'm so stressed its not even funny! and after school i went to danielle's house and she made me feel so much better. she makes me feel loved =D... plus we had taco bell! that certainly helped. taco bell helps anything. tomorrow is the fair! i'm going home with danielle [YES AGAIN] and we're gonna go with luan and eddie to go drown our... more like my sorrows in lights and rides. yay. lol. anyways, peace and chicken grease!

today was sorta amusing
well the ib presentation = lame. i liked the water bottle idea lol. my god, you shoulda seen the girl right in front of me. she was fixing her ponytail thru the WHOLE hour. and me and janyll and vanessa we like saying how we wanted to cut her hair off lol. then all three girls in front of us started fixing their ponytail at the same time! it was so damn annoying. art was ok, its usually funny cuz my table is pretty cool. nothing happend with alex though. then p.e. we didnt even do anything! we didnt even go out to the portable. it was sooooooo boring. then lunch! it was fun i guess hee hee. me and janyll always make lunch fun. after, it was sooo funny! i was stalking seth! haha. janyll kept pulling me back from him lmao cuz i was walking behind him and i was like one inch away from him! it was sooo damn funny. english was alright. but i hafta read 6 chapters of huck finn for friday. blah. bus ride was ok too. greta and i planned it all out, greta's writing this note to ben about how he's a jackass and its his loss that he doesnt have me. =D anyways, i'm watching even stevens, its a pretty old one, and of course, ren is trying to get bobby deaver like always. bobby and ren are too cute! especially bobby. lmao. "ren?... you owe me a skate."
sigh. why can't getting a guy always be as easy as it is in disney? oh well. half day tomorrow! yay. but math quiz AND a bio quiz = NOT yay. but once tomorrow is over, the rest of the week will be great, or so i hope. anyways... peace out!

from this day on, now and forevermore

gosh. it just HAS to be when i start hating him, is when i finally get a good dream with him! it was a long dream too! and in the dream, i was over him and hatin on him, but he was sooooo nice that i fell in love again. bad me! i dont miss him, i miss loving him. greta tells me all this shyt she does to him and i love her cuz she loves me so much. she hits him, she insults him, and she dirties up him sweater with her feet haha. danielle is feelin bad... no details, but hope it all works out for the best. i'm glad i'm here to help her. tomorrow is our assembly for "malpractice"... yay! no historia! i need to ace my next math quiz and test or else. my life will go down the drain [socially talking] cuz of progress reports. plus i need to ace the next bio test also! i got an 82 on the last one. and the 100's on my bullet quizzes help it but i really need to ace the next one or once again, my life will go down the drain. i cant hide TWO progress reports from my mom! geez. i'm slipping! aaah... people, help me! i know that eventually i'll get a B in a class but i'm fighting for that day to come LATER. most preferably in junior year. now, emotionally, how am i? surprisingly, i'm ok today. cuz i'm trying to be positive for my friends when they're being depressing. we cant all be depressing at once now can we. i hope EVERYONE GETS HAPPINESS IN THEIR LIVES. and i hope everyone knows that they are loved. i'm sorry to everyone i wont give vday surprises to... i can only provide for 10 or so! thats a lotta loving i have to give. but i love EVERYONE. =D

xoxo <3 always

how wonderful life is now you're in the world
no words to describe the feelings. i thought i'd have a lot to talk about for this entry, but it seems like i dont. everythin is same ol same ol i guess. lonely + needing a boyfriend = me. luan + danielle = cuteness! valerie + tennis tryouts = awesomeness! ya know, ppl say it seems like i'm startin to like alex g. [senior] now. am i? i have no idea. i dont get those *gasp* feelings when he's around or nothing. but cuz valerie thinks he's so fine, i pay attention to the things he does and i tell her and ppl stuff bout him and i guess it seems like i like him. but if he starts liking me i cant help it now can i! lol. i was jokin round wit greta and i was like "hell if alex liked me i would start likin him right back its no problem with me". haha. but valerie said she's cool with it if i do end up liking him. its a little too late now to crush on a senior though. i'm going to the fair on friday! wit danielle [probly luan too] and hopefully eddie or ricky and his friend [that im friends with] will come so i dont feel like the third wheel! i need someone sittin beside me on that ferris wheel. otherwise i'll have time to think and i'll be sad. *shrug* oh well. i came home today and ate some lucky charms. those damn lucky charms! i got a tummy ache and it lasted for a while. and then it came back laters. but i'm better now. can't i ever have one of those "best days ever"? the last time i had one of those was either the day i got the picture of ben [and he had talked to me like 4 times throughout the day] or the day that ben gave me a hug. that was halloween. its been a hell of a long time, right? well i guess it's just my luck! damn those lucky charms.

not counting this entry, my woohu music stats
i was bored so i checked out and counted how many times i had each artist as my music... here are the results:

3 kelly rowland
3 watching tv
5 christina aguilera
1 good charlotte
1 sugarcult
1 glenn lewis
2 myself singing
2 nothing at all
3 j.lo
4 justin timberlake
1 jennifer love hewitt
1 jane french
1 pyt
1 avril lavigne
1 britney spears
1 3LW
1 tonya mitchell
1 michelle branch
1 nivea
1 mariah carey
1 old 97s
1 jessica simpson
1 vanessa carlton
6 jenny hyun
3 aaliyah
6 kelly clarkson
1 simple plan

plus... i have posted 61 entries [not including this on], posted 52 comments, and received 50 comments

too many topics... this entry might take you a while to read
confessions of a dangerous mind: well on friday me and danielle went to go see a movie, confessions of a dangerous mind. that movie was uh... i dunno how to explain it. i dont really recommend it unless you have nothing else to see. it's rated r, and within the first five minutes of the movie, ya already have nudity, sex, and profanity. it was fun though cuz we ALMOST had the theatre to ourselves until this couple came in. i think they thought we were weird cuz we kept laughing and we kept trying to be comfortable in those uncomfortable ghetto lake worth seats. and danielle, being as graceful as she is, dropped her phone like a billion times and when she went to pick it up, she would drop her key. it was quite funny. and of course we had to walk up and down the aisles after the movie was done =D

vietnamese festival: well the first thing we did when we got to orlando was we met up with anne and lil vi at the store [that they own] and we went to the fairgrounds to go to the festival. it was boring as usual, but it was interesting to see how the vietnamese community is like these days and how americanized we are [3/4 of us anyways]. some of my friends wouldve loved to be there *coughgretacough* cuz there were so many teenage azn thugs. haha.

little vi: she's too cute. she's maturing right before my eyes and i'm glad i get to see it. when i told her how i "got over ben" she was like "FINALLY!! geez it took you forever!" lol. she's like my little sis, i love her so much! she made me feel loved too. its cute how she knows all the songs on the radio and shes so much like me. we both put up our hair in high pony tails and we were whipping each other with them it was so funny. i was like "vi, ya know what your hair feels like?...a dog tail." and she's like "christina, ya know what YOUR hair feels like? ... a pony tail" haha i was laughing so hard... u had to be there.

saturday night: the parents decided it was too cold to go dancing so we just stayed at home. we watched some old movies from when our families first met. damn i was sooo annoying!! i wouldve hated myself lol. i felt SO bad for tran cuz in lotsa movies, she's just sitting there bored to her mind watching us little kids. good thing i grew up, eh? and then me and little vi went upstairs and watched big fat liar. then it was nighty nite!

gainesville: on sunday we left earrrly to go see my brother in gainesville. i havent had 8 hours of sleep since monday! all we did was we went to go see my brother's friends' apartment bcuz andrew might end up staying there with his friend greg. then we went out to eat. it was funny... once again, u had to be there to get my family's jokes. chili's has hot college boy waiters! lol.

time in the car: i mostly slept and listened to music. i didnt go thru many cd's but i did a lot of thinking and daydreaming. and then i came upon my new song.

my new song: mariah carey's, "I Only Wanted". it's like sooooooooooooooo me its not even funny. i listened to it and i was like... wow this is how i feel. also the song "My Saving Grace". "I Only Wanted" is like... it describes that all i ever wanted was to feel like he was the one and that finally i found someone but i was just being too romantic and foolish for my own good. and "My Saving Grace"... that describes how i feel about my friends. i love them. they do their best at making me feel loved and making me feel happy. d/l those songs if ur bored!

valentine's day: in three weeks. wow. there's things going on in my head for what to do... but i wont reveal anything yet ;). let's just say, everyone of my friends will get at least a lil bit of lovin that day. although, if i know you, and we're friends and you dont get anything, its just cuz we're not close enough and i dont have enough money! eek! but hopefully, all i will do is show people how much i care about them. that day, i'll either be REALLY sad or REALLY happy. one of the two, it's hard to say at this point. either way, i want a hug and an "i love you!" from EVERYBODY. =D

lotsa <3 always

"she's got everything"... but who cares? no big deal... i want more...

i'm confused cuz i dont know what i'm feeling in my heart right now. sometimes i'm happy cuz my friends and sometimes i'm sad cuz my friends. i go up and down and it's just weirding me out. every night when i take a shower, i just wanna stay in the hot water away from the world and away from school and all the crap i feel. in school and with people, i'm all regular i guess, but deep inside i'm just blaaah. it's the first time in my life i'm worried about algebra instead of bio! bio is alright nowadays. that asshole broke up with vanessa! sigh. what is wrong in this world... christina is not happy... greta is not happy... vanessa is not happy... =0( . this weekend is orlando. whoo. cant you feel my excitement? lol. hopefully, i'll still get to do something with danielle this friday. maybe even the fair! but i dont think so. maybe jus dinner + a movie. *shrug* but she gets a whole weekend with luan now that i'm leavin her. i love everybody. now that i think about it, i cant wait til i escape west palm and meditate into the world of a 10-yr-old-cynic thats like a mini-me. hee hee. she'll make me feel loved. not that everyone else doesnt, but it's just different. anyways, peace.

"what's a fire and why does it burn? when it's my turn? wouldn't i love... love to explore that shore up above? out of the sea... wish i could be part of that world."

gosh. if you're permanently lonely, say "aye!".... AYE!
today was kinda like blaaaah. in history, the construction cre [of students] worked on mizenski's shelves and janyll kept saying that one of them was crushing on me cuz he was looking at me. the guy she was talkin bout was that one rotc kid that ppl mistake for jared all the time. and then of course dumbass ben had to visit! he ALWAYS visits! on the board was "ben's daily quote: the worst _____ are done with the best intentions" or something like that. i dunno if it referred to anything or not. so i changed it to "christina and janyll's daily quote: ben should do better things with him time". lol. then 2-D Comp... that class is so boring nowadays. half the class doesnt speak english, a fourth is like IB, and then another fourth are regs, and we have to do like half an hour of fcat everyday. its sooooo boring. then pe was cool, no running! yay. then in 6th hr, me and janyll lied to mcmanus lol and we went to miss halcomb's room in hopes of seeing th exchange student. all it resulted in was a stupid waving contest between me and ben. that dork.

yes, thats me. i'm lonely! and nothing's helping. i know you're trying your hardest EVER danielle to try to cheer me up, but it's like no one can pick me up except for me. ya know? ricky didnt even TRY to comfort me! is valentines day on an odd day? i hope so. this song... wow. thanx d for introducing it to me. its like probably the sweetest thing i've ever heard. i can't wait til my wedding! but im getting WAY ahead of myself here. a lot of the songs i listen to are so sweet and i think subconsciously, maybe they're bringing me down. have you ever heard christina aguilera sing "at last" by etta james?! omg. i just wanna love somebody so bad when i listen to it. on the bus i was like "i want a boyfriend!" val was like "no you dont!" and i was like "YES i do!" and she's like "do you want one cuz everyone ELSE has one or cuz you just want one?" and i was like "sigh. both!". i mean at the s.florida fair, who do i ride the ferris wheel with? and on valentine's day, who will be mine? ... no one


Are You Crazy??Find out!



Which Music Type are You?Find out!

sigh.

why am i frustrated?! i just spent the last hour trying to get onto aim... damn. i need to breathe now. i wanna kill somebody right now. any takers?

this day was quite relaxing, not including the last hour. i finished my english project for M-C-Manus, and the rest of the day, I vegged out, stufffffed my face, and i talked mostly to eduardo and daniel. no real big updates on my life right now. blah. next weekend, i wont be here! why? cuz im going back up to my home away from home, orlando. purpose? vietnamese/chinese new year of course! sadly though, it's only mi madre y mi madre's amigos going out to celebrate. they gonna get their groove on. imma just stay at anne's house with little vi, talking, playin cards, listenin to music, and watchin movies. hopefully, i'll get online sometime during the night, but i probably wont. boredom... boredom... see yalls tomorrow.

xoxo