Ich heiße Super-fantastisch...
alrighty. band concert was last night. i really enjoyed it, and i thought it went well. my mallet parts were shaky, but no missed notes, and that was the important part. and i did a really good job on snare, i thought. i was pleased.

and talking with mom about stuff helped out a super lots. so that was good.

i need to find somebody to cover for my radio show on friday, since i'm going down to shannon's, and her mom is picking us up at 3:30.

k.

journal party at hunter's. jigga h007 h007?

eine neue eintragung
(copied from open diary)

Ja. Das heißt "a new entry" (in an account of something). Diese ist ein klein Teil von meine Lebe, ich denke, also das macht gut.

Sonntag ist Oster. Die Familie von Shannon hat mir für diesen Feiertag geeinladen. Das ist sehr gut. Aber, ich weiß nicht was meine Familie für Oster macht. Ach, so... OK, ich soll spreche Deutsch nicht mehr.

i'm getting better though, and that's reassuring. it's by far my best class, and the most interesting. and i seem to be progressing nicely. i'm excited about next year. although it seems to be quite the task to get a minor. i guess i would need 22 credits BEYOND 201, and i'm just not sure about that. hell, i don't even know if i can get that much for my major... ; )

band performance is tomorrow night. i got my suit and stuff all squared away. i'm so sharp when i'm dressed up. or at least i feel like it, which is really all that matters.

i bet shannon will be upset with me. she was over here a little bit ago, and i kept falling asleep. and now that she left, i'm up and awake. i didn't intend for it to go that way. i'm gonna go brush my teefers and hit the sack now.

these are rhetorical...

i can't focus. i can't think about anything else. i'm just so lost in my own head. so zoned out. i'm sick of having responsibilities. i don't want them anymore. i just want to subsist, but i'm in a society that won't allow it. and i want to figure out who i really am, and what i'm really here for. how the fuck am i supposed to do that when i can't even properly exist here? and how am i supposed to have a healthy relationship with anyone when i'm insane? and is there a way to have a truly healthy relationship without treating it like you're fucking married? i mean, dad and kathy are great, and i'm really happy for them and the steps that they've taken together. and i would one day like to take those same steps. but not right now, man. not right now. right now i'm supposed to be crazy college party all the time like. i'm supposed to skip my classes. i'm supposed to ignore this paper i'm writing. i'm supposed to waste mommy and daddy's money.

right?

i'm supposed to be a general education loser. i'm certainly not the "honors" type. but now that i'm here, it's like i'm stuck in the commitment. like i have to finish what i started unwittingly. that's really fucking fair. say "hey, umm... listen, we're not going to tell you what you need to do. we'll just give you free reign, and you can guess a lot. and for every wrong guess, you get an anal probe and a loan to pay off. how does that sound? good." then when i fuck up, i guess i just should have known better, according to them. but HOW oh wise ones. HOW am i supposed to know better, when in actuality, i know virtually nothing at all. and what little knowledge i do have is so trivial, so mundane, that it's not even worth knowing.

feelings suck, because they lie to me. and i have a hard time discerning between them and the truth.

i wanna go to bed.

funny video
Read more..
http://videos.streetfire.net/playlistbuilder/buildasx.ashx?fileid=3D2DE2BE-74D5-4885-8C64-15AFFC25839C&t=D596BFBA-20BC-4317-A794-B7186E087AF9

in other news, i really like these talks shannon and i have every so often. it's just so refreshing.

i'm super-tired.

and hungry. mmm. hungry.

none

I put my muffins in the oven at exactly 11:11 am. i thought that was cool.

and i'm in 308,308th place for the facebook march madness competition. i wonder how many that's out of...

aside from that. shannon's great. but i'm failing college. and the two are only marginally related. very marginal.

long weekend.
saw peter pan saturday night. that was interesting. weird to be back at school. i'll visit sometime in may, probably. just to see all my old teachers and friends and everything.

friday night i saw "V for Vendetta", and went to olive garden with shannon, stephanie, and sarah. it was stephanie's birthday. she's younger than addison, but she's a sophomore. tee hee.

umm. friday night went down to shannon's. saturday morning drove her to binder park zoo to fill out the paperwork and take her drug test and get fitted for her uniform. spent the afternoon loafing around her place. i played pokémon with marty. that was interesting. came back here last night, crashed for like 11 hours straight. french toast for brunch, and a nice long walk through the ravines. i took some pictures. did laundry. got a sharpie tattoo. dentist appt. tomorrow.

and i'm sick. but that's okay. i'm not crisp, but i can still function.

sleep well, kids.

edit: in case anyone cares, we kissed on the roof saturday, just for shits and giggles, and it made me laugh. but it did not, thankfully, provoke the evacuation of my bowels. just f.y.i.

i've kissed 36 ways?
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who'da thunk it?

::

dude, that command was super-easy.