recent events

okay. so i drove the car today!!!

just around the block, but still. and i'm still leaking oil onto the manifold, and it's burning off, making one hell of a stink. karl said he thought it was the valve cover gasket... which means i need to source a G60 valve cover, and a new gasket.

that should be an "easy" project. *knocks on wood* relatively speaking.

but it drove okay. and i adjusted the shift linkages to where they were happy. i still want to get a new shift lever, because the one that's in there is all fubar and sloppy.

some more tweaking of the clutch adjustment and such, and it should be getting close to happy.

and i still have to do all the vacuum shit on the intake to get it running properly. there's some REALLY nasty clicking going on in the compartment somewhere. it sounds like super-pronounced lifter noise on a single cylinder, but it could be anything. i hope it's not something with the cam. i don't want to tear the engine apart. no thank you.

at least... not yet.

mwahaahaaa.

and i'm also the king of breakfast for dinner. half a dozen maple links and a poached egg. i fucking rock sometimes.

i'm not gaining weight yet, but this summer's muscle is definitely softening a bit. oh well. i obviously don't care enough about it to do anything yet.

if only delilah played jazz. that would be nice.

but i drove it today, that's the important thing. and i wound up doing the CV joint all by myself anyway... so add that to the repertoire.

i'm really starting to get this. and it feels absolutely marvelous.

only bad thing was, i accidentally sent a jack stand through the already disintegrating floor pan. things to NOT look good for homestarrunner...

i'm not going to be able to go through the snow with this. shit.

oh well. one thing at a time, right?

from my archived letters to god...
Well. College starts in a few weeks. That should be interesting. As per usual, I’m absurdly unprepared for it all… but I suppose I should get used to that if I intend to keep living life the way I do. Although that seems to be a big bone of contention with Jackie and her mom. Not so much contention as unrest, I suppose. Just the fact that I’m always so “busy”. They think nobody my age should be that busy. And I’m equally frustrated that despite the business, I so rarely feel I have accomplished anything worthwhile. But you know better, even if I don’t see it.

And as for Jackie and her mom, I know they’re absolutely correct; but I think age has little to do with it. I would sooner say that nobody should ever be too busy. And I need to get it through my thick skull that I accomplish more, and make more gratifying societal contributions, when – although I’m trying to accomplish things – I’m not in a hurry, I’m not overwhelmed (or even just whelmed, as the case may be), and I’m never EVER “too busy”. It is my responsibility, duty, and privilege to make the most out of every situation I am placed in. to know that I’m right where and when I should be… because you want me there, so you put me there, and I should embrace the aberrations and adapt to the alterations that take place in my life.

To fight is a waste of energy.
Tonight is the place for love.
This life is but a gift to me,
And strife the only plight to shove.

One of these days I’ll actually write some shit that makes sense, in addition to sounding good. As of yet, I can only do one of those at a time. I should just stick with what sounds good.

- page two -
(this is where it gets mushy)

I really do love Jackie so much, somehow. I know that sounds bad, but I don’t mean it to. She’s certainly not unlovable; quite the contrary. And she never ceases to amaze me, in innumerable ways. For instance:

I’m definitely not incapable of loving someone. I love lots of people. But, the ones I love most often get the worst of me. And Jackie is no exception.

I just can never find the right words for her… and all the bad things I do, whether habitually or instinctually – things I’ve eradicated from all the other facets of my life – have crept up with her from time to time. Maybe it’s just that I’m so relaxed in her presence… which I’m immensely thankful for and simultaneously awed by. I don’t know. It could be anything. I just know I desperately want to stop inadvertently being such an ass. I’m sure I wouldn’t do it on purpose.

It’s just so vitally important. I love her in a way that I’ve never felt for anybody else in my life. Not that I haven’t loved, but this is something bigger, something more. And I’m just begging you to not let me fuck it up. Because, when left to my own devices… let’s just say things don’t go so hot.

Speaking of hot, it’s quite toasty in here (the van). It’s been about 45 minutes, and there is a film of permanent adhesion that has been formed between the seat cover and me by my perspiration. It’s quite disgusting. But dad and Kathy should be done in the chapel soon, so then I can roll down the window and dry off some.

Thanks for always listening. I feel so much better now. You’re the greatest.

Chris.

my boundless awesomosity
alright. so i finished Gargantua. i won't say it was a waste of time. but good gravy. they kicked everyones ass... then were really humble and gracious about it. everyone got what they wanted. and the monk started an abbey for hippies. and it went ON AND ON about what the hippies wore, and what they did, and the architecture of the abbey and whose butts they wiped with downy goosenecks in altruistic generosity...zzzzz. then the riddle about tennis. wtf? eh. i'll let it go. Rabelais was a heavy drinker. that's my reasoning.

but i'm most proud of meine haus-arbeite in Deutsch. okay. i don't remember how to say "homework". so sue me. i at least remembered enough to kick total ass on it. i had to write 8-10 sentences about my family tree. here 'tis:

Ich habe eine mittelgroße Familie. Mein Großvater väterlicherseits heißt Wilson. Meine Großmutter väterlicherseits heißt Mary Jane. Mein Großvater mütterlicherseits (verstorben) heißt Harry. Meine Großmutter mütterlicherseits heißt Wilma. Mein Vater heißt Martin und meine Mutter heißt Roxanne. Mein Eltern ist geschieden und auch haben drei Geschwistern. Mein Stiefvater heißt Bruce. Meine Stiefmutter heißt Kathy. Ich habe eine Schwester Libby. Und auch zwei Hund.

11 sentences. and i used a couple of words that WEREN'T ON THE PAGE!!!! meaning, i remembered them. and used them accurately. i just hope i spelled them right. well, i got hund right, obviously. i'm worried more about gescheiden and geschwistern. they're close.

she'll know what i meant. *blows raspberry*

aren't you all overjoyed at my success in multilingual endeavours?

i'm sure.

i'll go take a shower now. and i wouldn't oppose a nap tomorrow afternoon. but i'll be expecting a phone call sometime between the hours of 4 and 9... so, maybe no nap. that's alright. it's worth it.

i have to write 3 papers before next wednesday. it's only because i've put them off for this long. damn that procrastination.

if i played my music really loud, i wonder how long it would take Kelsey (my R.A.) to come yell at me. i passed her on the sidewalk today. i think she smiled at me. for some reason she's usually scowling at me. well. i smiled back. and bekah said hi today too. although, it's hard for her to not pass by every once in awhile... her room's at the end of the hall. and i've half given up on communications mystery girl (i don't remember her name). she seems pretty interested in Pat. not that i blame her. he's a fucking cool guy. eh. i was gonna ask her about the musical today, but she wasn't done with her test yet. so i just left. and i think Cara and i are doing the study group thing tomorrow. marcus seems kind of unreliable. i'm going to suggest the library. it's a good place to pick up on vibes and stuff. i mean, research things. and print things off. because the lappy hasn't miraculously started spewing printed pages out its front just yet.

sorry. i'm rambling.

shower time.

blehg, etc.

is it wrong that i just want to crawl into bed.

i need to at the very least finish my German HW. and i really should do the rest of Gargantua... so that way i can get machiavelli out of the way tomorrow during lunch. i hope that's enough time. then tomorrow night i need to write my paper for Professor Eick.

in other news, we got the drive flanges back on the donor transmission - with new seals, of course. and i halfway disassembled the drivers side inner CV joint, due to contaminants in the grease. i couldn't fully disassemble it without removing it from the shaft, so i just did what i could. so, i have grease for packing on friday, once the new transmission is in. it'd be silly to pack them sooner. and i have new fluid for friday, so i can flush the system once. and then i'll run it for awhile, then put the primo fluid in, as soon as i can find the shit. i figure the cheap stuff won't hurt for a couple thousand miles anyway. and i'm pretty sure this transmission doesn't have an LSD. gar. oh well. i'm not about to tear it apart now. i'll just crack the other one open when dad gets a shop. hopefully it won't become any more urgent than that. and i'll need to find a home for the bad transmission until such a time that i CAN crack into it.

i think friday's going to be a huge PITA, because i'll need to realign all the motor mounts and everything. i'd like to try and clean things up a bit down there too... but that probably won't happen. and i'd like to swap out the shift lever while i'm in there. but that might have to wait. it'll just be nice to have the linkages properly aligned again. and *cross your fingers* have a full fluid reservoir. that would be fantabulous. i still need to roll the fenders and maybe raise the front end a little bit. hector shyed me away from that. he's a big fan of the low center of gravity... obviously. but at the very least, i should at least sure up the exhaust while it's up in the air. and i'd like to get that floor pan taken care of. but i've monopolized karl's garage for long enough. the car will be out and rollable by the time i leave friday. i don't care how long it takes. it's getting done.

but sadly, my homework isn't; not with me prattling on, here, now is it? well, i bid you all a fond adieu. and with much ado (of course).

love and stuff. < i'm awaiting your call... :-) >

Gargantua and Pantagruel...

so. that was a brilliant way to waste three hours. because i have SO much spare time...

i'm a moron.

and after it all, i still didn't save any fucking lives!

and on the walk back i heard the snares practicing late. god i miss it.
i seriously think i'm going to try and get into the pit. if there is a pit.

it's late. i have a quiz tomorrow. and a test. and. ugh.

i totally fucked myself this weekend. and next weekend is filling up incredibly fast.

saturday:
- car to billy's / board from billy's.
- jackie party thing... (permitting i'm still invited.)

sunday:
- tunnel park BBQ. which i may have to scrap. but i really don't want to.

and i need to figure out when i can do coffee with mle.

i do it to myself.

that's probably why it makes me so mad.