spud
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2005 4 September :: 3.11pm
fuck me in the ass!
no, don't. i was just kidding. that's seriously uncool. "outbound traffic only!"
no. dinner was good. but i feel like i'm so far behind on everything. and i can't seem to summon the motivation to rectify the situation.
so, there you have it. i'll just sit on my ass and watch it go by. because i'm sick and tired of fighting.
at least i'm not angry or bitter about it. just a smidgen on the sad side of things. ...disappointed, you might say.
2 Wasted Their Money |
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chain-wolf
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2005 3 September :: 12.28am
:: Music: All That Remains - From These Wounds
Rosa; You Make Me Laugh --
[[īптǿxīсāпт]] - [Miss him so much...] [Came so very close to my dream piercing...] says:
-.-; cause when you run
[[īптǿxīсāпт]] - [Miss him so much...] [Came so very close to my dream piercing...] says:
sometimes it feels like you've got a runny nose. FROM YOUR CUNT -.-
[.Rnbw.Dmnt.Smls.] says:
XD
[.Rnbw.Dmnt.Smls.] says:
You make me laugh.
[[īптǿxīсāпт]] - [Miss him so much...] [Came so very close to my dream piercing...] says:
it's even more uncomfortable when you sneeze.
[.Rnbw.Dmnt.Smls.] says:
XD Oh gawd!
[[īптǿxīсāпт]] - [Miss him so much...] [Came so very close to my dream piercing...] says:
it's like instead of snotting outta your nose, you're snotting outta your bloody cunt.
[.Rnbw.Dmnt.Smls.] says:
x_x
1 Wasted Their Money |
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spud
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2005 2 September :: 8.00pm
prophecy?
i am quoting Albus Dumbledore at the end of book 3:
"This is magic at its deepest, its most impenetrable, Harry. But trust me . . . the time may come when you will be very glad you saved Pettigrew's life."
maybe i caught something. or maybe i'm just grappling. but all of the hints seem to be pretty obvious. she definitely has it down to an art... well, it may be formulaic. but it's still an art.
i bet you're wondering why i don't have anything better to do with my friday night.
me too.
2 Wasted Their Money |
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spud
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2005 2 September :: 3.40pm
:: Mood: weirded out
:: Music: Chevelle - Vitamin R
i don't think i did very well on the communications quiz. and i was a couple minutes late, because the bus left without me, and the other one didn't come through for like half an hour.
all in all, it was not a terrific day. but now it's over. sort of.
now i'm just sitting in my dorm. i don't get it. i'm surrounded by my peers, intellectually and otherwise, i have a free bus ticket to anywhere in the city, i'm living on my own, and yet...
i'm so lonely. for no reason. i feel more dependent on other people now than i ever have before... and now none of them are around anymore. and - don't tell anybody, but - i really suck at this. just the whole college thing. is not my bag or whatever. well, it is... it SHOULD be. but i can't shake this inadequacy.
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spud
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2005 2 September :: 11.02am
:: Mood: disconcerted
so, i went to my 9 o'clock german class today, right? i was like 10 mins early, so the room was dark, and nobody was there.
one girl shows up, and asks me for a pen. 9 rolls around and she bugs out. so, i hop on the computer to check blackboard and make sure i didn't miss an announcement or something. nothing on blackboard, nothing on student email, nothing on hotmail, nothing in the syllabus. i can find absolutely no reason whatsoever that there weren't 25 other kids and a professor in that classroom.
what the hell did i miss? and why does it seem to be me that's always missing this stuff?
i double checked and triple checked. i know i was in the right room. at the correct time. well, obviously i wasn't. but to the best of my knowledge... i was. Was die Verdammt!
i don't know what to do. i do know that i will be super pissed if my class downtown is cancelled.
gah. bullshit.
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spud
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2005 1 September :: 10.57am
abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxzy
man. this could get a little weird.
kommen sie Grobritannien
i need to find the german question mark. !"$%&/()=?
aha.
woher ich?
ah. kommen sie Grobritannien?
this will slow me down some. oh well. its kinda fun. AH! apostrophe! ummm..... `;:_,;P*+'##''''` ? it's. there we go.
it's kinda fun.
weird.
1 Wasted Their Money |
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spud
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2005 30 August :: 11.15pm
gah. it's too late.
i have german at 9 tomorrow. i'm still not sure about that one.
sprechen wie deutsch? not in the least.
i don't think i'm going to go lift.
9 Wasted Their Money |
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m&ms487
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2005 29 August :: 3.03pm
Listening to Karl talk makes me want to shoot someone. He has the oddest way of talking and yelling at the same time.
My schedule is as follows:
1 Marching Band - Robuck
2 JA Economics - Busen
3 AP Statistics - Andrus
4 AP Literature - Dolbee
5 Independent Study - Robuck
6 AP Biology - Fornier
3 easy classes, 3 hard classes.
I don't have seminar period on my schedule...does that mean I don't have to go?......
michelle
4 Wasted Their Money |
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spud
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2005 29 August :: 9.01am
:: Music: BnL - Crazy
I wonder how first block went/is going.
i'm gonna go down early so i can pay the ticket today.
jim and i got up at 6:45 and went to the fieldhouse (with some girl, of course) to do some lifting and abs. it felt good, but i didn't overexert myself... which is uncharacteristic. we're gonna do it again on wednesday. it just feels good. i might go again tomorrow just for shits and giggles. although, not at any 7 in the morning. although, i think i have class at nine.
well, i'll try and do some sort of cardio tomorrow.
jim is the ab MASTER! holy hell. i guess he was in advanced PE in school. it's quite insane.
maybe tomorrow i'll do some plate exercises. okay, just the curl-type things that i love oh-so-much. we'll see.
feels good.
and it's automatic, baby. 'cause it feels good. these extrasensory sensations.
i'll shut up now.
3 Wasted Their Money |
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spud
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2005 29 August :: 12.08am
subject?
hmm
outrageous mandolin!
rockin' ryan rapes roomates
?
so much for those raisins...
i do like complimentary penguin rides!
no one has to be, just do.
:o)
*...*
that's why jackie is too awesome for words.
speaking of awesome...
by some bizarre twist of fate, i somehow managed to get a hold of a ticket to the 3 doors down concert at the van andel tonight.
it was quite the rockin' show. i also saw breaking benjamin and staind (but we showed up a little late). it was weird how it all worked out. but i had fun. and it cost me a grand total of $4, so really, you can't beat it.
plus i got to know joshua a little better. he seems like a pretty cool kid. one more name to add to my list. which i can't figure out. because jim's with half a dozen chicks every single night.
i guess they like the scruffy look. whatev. i'm happy with what i have. and rightfully so.
oh. the GTI is falling apart.
i guess i need to replace the entire passenger side axle, including cv joints. the ball joint and everything should be all set though. and i'm gonna need to replace the seal that was leaking into the cv boot in the first place. wherever the hell that is. and i need to find the heater core... and make sure everything's sealed up. that's where the mive guys suspect the coolant is coming from. i also heard somebody say head gasket... which doesn't sound too appealing. i really think that once i get the transmission all sorted, i'll feel a lot better. but until then, i'll be taking the bus. which means no trips down to kzoo for awhile. AAAAAHHHH! i seriously don't know what i'm going to do. and dad thinks the ticket is going to be 200-300 dollaz, and 6 points on my license. which is hella bullcrap. and insurance above 1500 a year. for plpd.
of course... that's worst-case scenario. which i'm afraid i may be in.
geh. no sense worrying about it right now. but i've had my fun for the summer. now it's nose to the grindstone. and forcing myself to be amicable and socially active. sucky.
oh well. i might learn something.
g'night. and laugh a little. i myself am away laughing on a fast camel...
2 Wasted Their Money |
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spud
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2005 27 August :: 11.56pm
:: Music: queensryche - empire
blechgy
well. jace helped walk me through the wizards for my network settings. i really wanted to ask teh fil, but i couldn't. this worked i guess.
it's still not on the wireless network... it's through the ethernet, but i set up all the networking for wireless. i don't get it. but whatever. at least it's working now.
and i love jackie.
a lot.
every time i think about her, this wonderful feeling surges up inside of me. and it always feels so clean and pure... like i felt when i was a little kid. like i'm myself again.
awwwww.
peace and love to all. from college. (class starts monday).
1 Wasted Their Money |
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chain-wolf
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2005 26 August :: 6.54pm
:: Mood: aggravated
:: Music: Darkest Hour - How The Beautiful Decay
Ruined:
The day started out all right. And then promptly withered into shit.
So I wrote this.
---
"Windows Waving Goodbye"
---
Sitting here and all I hear are complaints
Resting here and all I find unravels
Before my eyes the world is slowly turning its back on me
And I was in such a good mood
But now that mood is shattered to ruin
By the fruitless trees that sap all the energy
What do I do?
Do I comply and further my demise
Or just simply run away?
How unearthly
How horrible it is
To feel it all slip away
It's so nauseating
In the pit of my stomach and sinking deeper
Is this...
Is this how the beauty of life fades away?
Sitting here staring out
Out at what?
And where?
This tiny island of my thoughts
I'm watching the rest of the world blur
Slowly drifting into the distance
And the windows are waving goodbye
Is this how it all comes to an end?
How the threads of life choose to decay?
And I was feeling fine just moments ago
But now those feelings have dropped off the map
Taken by those whom push foward in attempt to hold me back
What can I do?
I will not comply
I can't run away
Am I simply stuck here between point A and B?
If I could find C I'd surely go
But...
Is this how the story comes to close?
How I wish I could wash all the pain away
Stranded here and not even the light of the setting sun
is shining my way...
And I'm still standing
Staring into the distance
A tiny glimmer on the line of the horizon
The windows are waving goodbye.
----
Currently; sitting in my room; which is 82 degrees. Head hurts. Plagued by frustration.
....fuck.
1 Wasted Their Money |
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spud
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2005 26 August :: 9.28pm
i'm on the lappy.
i'm in college.
i got a speeding ticket.
i went to cedar point.
my girlfriend is awesome.
i feel better.
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chain-wolf
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2005 23 August :: 12.07am
:: Mood: creative
:: Music: Opeth: Windowpane
Untitled
I don't have much to say about today.
I waited pretty much the whole day at my mom's,
waiting for my dad to come home from work and
pick me up on his way home. Lugged my computer and speakers,
acoustic guitar and some clothes on up here. Big load.
Going to be up here for the rest of the week I think.
It's really nice. A get-a-way from the small town and people.
No one bothers me really. I'm in my room alone a lot.
I feel free here. Creative. I am surrounded by my favorite
animal; that which resides in my soul; the wolf. I have cinnamon
insence. Clean room. Space. No one is home until about 5pm - 7pm each night. Very nice.
Wrote some things; who knows... maybe someone
will read them?
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/22071002/
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/22033958/
--
The first one was written tonight. I just let my head sort of wander off and what not. The second one wa written the night before. They sort of start off the same I think, with the windowpane or what not. Or at least they both have a window mentioned in them. Oh well. I liked windowpanes. :D
Anyway...
That is about it.
<3
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m&ms487
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2005 21 August :: 10.01pm
:: Mood: calm
Every day that I get up and drive to work (which is almost every day now) I walk into the place and everything just melts together. Nothing really changes there, maybe subtly.
I always punch in on time, get my drawer, wait on people, punch for all my breaks, feel bad if I spend too much money on lunch, because I'm not making that much money in the first place, punch out, go home. Next day: repeat.
I feel like I'm wasting my life. It's an awful feeling.
I guess the only saving graces are the weird people that I laugh to myself about, like the lady with the mustache or the really big older guy that always hits on lisa.
The people who get really angry are a source of my laughter too; the people who get so angry about not being able to return their $2.00 light bulbs because they don't have their receipt and yell at the manager thinking it will make a difference. Those people are just pathetic. The funny part is that when they get so angry their blood pressure rises, and I bet in the future they'll end up having a heart attack because of stress like that and have a hospital bill over $4,000.
Rueben just left a while ago. I'm putting off going to bed; when he left there was a creepy little glow worm attatched to his pant leg, and we were cuddling in my bed. Even if it just randomly attatched itself to him when he came in, just the thought of it crawling around in my bed is reason enough for me not to sleep half the night. Ehh....creepy crawlies.
Tomorrow night is band, Tuesdays are lessons. Piano is comming along nicely. I can't do anything too complicated yet, but we'll see by the end of the year how good I can get.
It's nice and cold, perfect sleeping weather.
Good night (all).
michelle
3 Wasted Their Money |
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chain-wolf
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2005 20 August :: 12.22am
:: Mood: relaxed
:: Music: Taproot - Poem
Reve de moi...
...I hope so. <3
Spare Some Change?
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xhan
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2005 20 August :: 5.02pm
:: Mood: Betrayed
Just goes to show that you can't trust anyone in this world.
I'm with Britt on this one.
I think we all deserve an explanation.
-xhan
2 Wasted Their Money |
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chain-wolf
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2005 19 August :: 11.42pm
:: Music: Taproot - Calling
Nothing//Bored
Not much to say. Eh. Bored, not doing much.
Got this song stuck in my playlist.
So here are the lovely lyrics.
Taproot: Calling --
Your face is burned inside my brain
I lost my way
Your taste of stale flows through my veins
The cost of hate
Cause youll never understand me
You want me to stay
Youre c-c-c-calling but I cant hear you
Im not listening anymore
Youre subject to falling but I cant save you
I dont see you anymore
The race of slowing down the pain, I found a way
The pace of speaking so mundane, the sound of gain
But youll never make me happy
So Ive extinguished the flame
Youre c-c-c-calling, but I cant hear you
Im not listening anymore
Youre subject to falling, but I cant save you
I dont see you anymore
And what you want me to say Ill never say
Youre playing the game that Ill never play
So what do you want from me?
Now Ive extinguished the flame
Your c-c-c-calling but I cant hear you
Im not listening anymore
Youre subject to falling but I cant save you
I dont see you anymore
Youre c-c-c-calling but I cant hear you, Im not listening anymore
Youre f-f-f-falling, but I cant save you
I dont see you anymore
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chain-wolf
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2005 17 August :: 7.49pm
:: Mood: N/A
:: Music: Gary Numan: Absolution
If//Not
Dai:
Rawr. Don't know. Might see you on tonight, might not. Tired. Needed to sleep. Went to take a nap. Will go jogging later, and come back. Chances are, I won't see you 'cause you gots to go to bed cause of sk00l. Heh. Anyway. Talk to you sometime hun. -_^;
2 Wasted Their Money |
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chain-wolf
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2005 17 August :: 2.51pm
:: Mood: calm
:: Music: Assemblage 23: Let The Wind Erase Me
Wdnsdy
Eh. Not much for today. Wasn't around last night. Got a random call from my ex-girl. Apparently it was her birthday. Heh. Shows how much I remember. But, everyone else was gone, so she decided to drop on by. Hung out, talked. Usually she's off at college so we don't talk a lot. So I guess it was pretty cool.
I ended up going home with her because she's been home alone, and will be till Saturday. Her parents are somewhere in Alaska or something. So, I was like, what the hell. Might as well go keep someone company. ... Didn't do much of anything really. Sat around till it got dark pretty much, then watched some odd humorous movie. Hadn't really heard of it. It was Australian. Might've been why it was so odd, and fucked up. ... Ate some cheesecake and went to bed.
I just like going up to her house cause she's got the coolest chocolate lab. Heh. He's like my best friend. Probably cause I pay more attention to him than anyone else. Funny this morning, all these guys were over cause they're remodeling her bathroom. And there were about three other dogs there, and 'Moose', her chocolate lab wouldn't let them come into the living room where I was laying on the couch. =D ..He protects me. It's sort of amusing. But anyway.
Boring.
And that was last evening, and today. Still unproductive. Still bored. Blah, blah, blah, blah... ect.
Maybe I'll have something intelligent to babble on about later on. ;D
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