|
m&ms487
|
::
2005 8 May :: 8.30pm
I don't know what's going on tomorrow. The ap test is tuesday morning. I have this feeling inside my stomach that is telling me I'm going to fail. Hmm.
My parents are watching a show about cows. Seriously. It's about cows.
My cousins are really stupid. I think I lose brain cells everytime I'm around them.
I'm sad and tired. And I don't know what I'm doing tomorrow about cooking and whatnot.
I don't understand why some people bother talking to me when I'm blatantly ignoring them. It really confuses me. They keep on talking. Shut the fuck up, enough is enough.
2 Wasted Their Money |
Spare Some Change?
|
spud
|
::
2005 5 May :: 11.18pm
this is extremely pretty. maybe mine will be this pretty someday...
8 Wasted Their Money |
Spare Some Change?
|
|
spud
|
::
2005 5 May :: 10.52pm
:: Mood: relaxed
VW stuff...
so, i was rooting through the box of stuff that came with the "doodle bug" (previous owner's nickname for frau hase). it has the instrument cluster from a diesel that will fit in the gti, so i'll finally have an accurate speedo, hopefully (and odometer). there was also a pair of taillights in the box, and the ones that are on the gti now are cracked, so jigga W00T for me being awesome and keeping useless junk.
i like cars.
senior banquet was pretty kick ass, actually. except for the part where i drove away from the gas station with the gas cap still on the roof of the car, and then it fell off and exploded into a thousand tiny pieces. but it's all good. the doodle bug box had an extra in it. (double W00t)
man, i'm pretty.
Spare Some Change?
|
|
spud
|
::
2005 5 May :: 3.01pm
As you've probably noticed, I use the term "douchebag," along with some variations (douche-rocket, douche-cracker, douche-nozzle, etc) a lot in describing people. There are many characteristics one may possess to come across to the public (me) as a douchebag. Today, by request from my friend Jessica, I was looking at her pictures from spring break in Miami, and I encountered someone who captures all of those aforementioned qualities. He is, in fact, the essence of douchebag. And a gay douchebag at that. Take notes, so you don't make some of the same mistakes. His name was Oliver, and he was from Michigan. Two strikes against him already, just by waking up.
Click image to open link:
^ ^ ^ ^ Ryan Gorter ^ ^ ^ ^
that's all i have for today.
Edit: humourous explanation...
Name: Oliver. There aren't many names that are more homosexual than Oliver. As soon as you were old enough to realize what your name was, you should have killed yourself. Don't bother trying to change your name, because no matter what, you will always be Oliver, and you will always be from...
Home state: Michigan. Or Michidan. Whichever you prefer. Worst and gayest state in the union. God Michigan sucks.
Pink shirt: I don't give a shit what any of these fashion faggots say, pink is not the new blue. Pink is fucking pink. Quit watching Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, and put on a game. Ever notice that no sports teams in any league have pink anywhere in their uniforms? Not even the WNBA. Pink is the color of flowers and hippie's hair and uninfected vagina. No man should EVER wear this color in any way. EVER. If you wear a pink shirt at any time you are a douchebag. You look like a pussy and a sissy, and I want to shit down your throat. Especially when you wear a pink shirt with a...
Popped collar: No. This just enhances your overly apparent douchebaggedness. When you buy a collared shirt, it comes with the collars folded over exactly how they should be. Leave them alone. Why do you want to hide your neck so bad? Don't want to show off that hickie you got last night from that dumb slut you slipped some rufies? Because that is the only way you're pulling any box with your collar turned up. Girls laugh at you. No matter what you think, it is not cool. Flip it back down and go change out of your...
Black undershirt: Is this supposed to fool us into thinking you're hard? Let me remind you, you're wearing a PINK shirt, with the collar up. You are not hard. Although I guess it matches your...
Wristband: What the fuck? This pisses me off maybe more than any other thing here. Just get done trying to play basketball? Do you sweat profusely around attractive women, and need to swipe your brow every now and then? Or is this just another ploy to seduce some unsuspecting whore? Perhaps you're wearing it because it matches that black undershirt which makes you look hard and brings out your true metrosexuality? Metrosexuals are gay. And so are you with your...
Cell phone clip: Hey dickhead, everyone has a cell phone now. 90% of 11 year olds have cell phones now. My 74 year old grandfather has a cell phone. There is no need to show it off to anyone. Pants have pockets for a reason. Use them. Oh wait, that's probably where you keep your stash of rufies, and the stuff you use to make that...
Hemp bracelet: God I hate you, and the fact that you are giving the camera a...
Peace sign: The Persian Gulf war ended over a decade ago, and with it went the peace sign. Maybe you were letting that fag behind you checking out your ass know how many fingers you want him to use. And what's up with those...
"Intellectual glasses": You are not smart. And those specs aren't tricking us into thinking you are. Remember, you have on a PINK shirt. Obviously you are not intelligent. I mean, come on, you also have on a...
Detroit Tigers hat: Not that I have anything against the Tigers, but wearing this hat exhibits the fact that you are either from Michigan, or cheer for Michigan sports teams. Both are equally unacceptable. Everyone from and everything about Michigan sucks. Michigan, along with Wisconsin should join Canada. Or you could just move there. We wouldn't care. And Canada wouldn't notice that you're wearing...
Earrings in both ears: Well I guess we're back in 8th grade now, and you're rebelling against your parents by doing something they don't like. You are not goth, and you are not a rock star. You are a douchebag. Seriously, in your hand is...
Not a beer: Notice everyone in the picture is holding a beer, except for Oliver. His Powerade and vodka makes him look like a real tough guy. Berry Blue. Mmmmmmmm. That could expain his...
Stupid facial expression: The typical look of a douchebag. "I'm too cool to actually have my picture taken, so when you force me to, I will make a facial expression to make it appear that I am cooler than everyone else around me when in reality I suck cock." This look will be easy to spot on anyone who displays any of the above.
Now you know how to spot a douchebag, or realize that you are one. For those of you who aren't, when you see a douchebag on the streets with your friends, make sure to point and laugh at him and give him the Factual Material douchebag salute. To do this, just extend one hand out, and make a motion with it as if you were, in fact, squeezing a douche bag. And if anyone recognizes Oliver here somewhere, punch him in the face and break those stupid fucking glasses.
7 Wasted Their Money |
Spare Some Change?
|
|
spud
|
::
2005 4 May :: 11.03pm
Your Brain is 46.67% Female, 53.33% Male |
Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female
You are both sensitive and savvy
Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed
But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve |
whooo. just barely. i thought for sure i was going to wind up being more female. it was just a sneaking suspicion i had.
but actually, that assessment was quite accurate. an impressively perceptive quiz, right there.
short, and to the point, just the way i like 'em.
3 Wasted Their Money |
Spare Some Change?
|
|
spud
|
::
2005 3 May :: 8.58pm
:: Mood: nostalgic
... seems like i'm always feeling nostalgic...
i vacuumed out the car, and cleaned out the rest of my junk. i also put signs in the windows.
first person to offer me $300 gets it. maybe. no, yeah. first 300...
it just makes me sad. i'm gonna hate to have it leave. it'll just never be the same.
i have over two years of memories in that car. that's a lot to practically give away to somebody who wants a winter beater.
5 Wasted Their Money |
Spare Some Change?
|
|
spud
|
::
2005 2 May :: 9.20pm
quickie
just a quick one.
pron was awesome... i had a really good time. it's still kinda surreal to me though, with the car and everything else happening.
ever since katie left, i've just had a screw loose or something, and it feels kinda like i'm living my life from the outside. and that's not to say that katie was such an important part of my life, so much as it's just that was the needle that broke my camel's back. or something cool like that.
anyway. i had a really great time. i'm looking forward to the next time i'll be able to see jackie. which is who knows when, the way my life is. maybe someday things'll slow down.
i've been extremely forgetful lately. senioritis? highly likely. among other things.
4 Wasted Their Money |
Spare Some Change?
|
|
m&ms487
|
::
2005 1 May :: 6.49pm
This is the hardest part. Resistance.
It's going to be one hell of a week. Fine Arts Night, Flute choir concert, studying for the AP chem test, Rueben's birthday, dinner.....blah blah blah.
It all just has to happen in one week, doesn't it?
2 Wasted Their Money |
Spare Some Change?
|
|
spud
|
::
2005 27 April :: 11.06pm
:: Mood: Ecstatic
JOYOUS PROCLAMATIONS OF AWESOMENESS!
well, it looks like i'll be getting the car that i put up in my last post. i took a ride in it today, and checked everything out. he did an awesome job on it. it's so clean. there's some interior work to be done, but mostly it's ready to rock. and boy does it ever ROCK!!!
it's incredible. you'll all have to be cool enough to ask me for rides this summer. and i'll have to be cool enough to give them freely. i'm gonna go through gas like water... ;)
i'm just so jazzed / stoked / wetting myself.
7 Wasted Their Money |
Spare Some Change?
|
|
spud
|
::
2005 26 April :: 8.30pm
:: Mood: exceedingly pissed
my poor baby
i've been so angry today, it's strange. i haven't been this angry in a long time. it worries me. i don't like being angry. well, that's not true. i don't like how much i like being angry. it's very empowering. i'm normally a good natured guy, so it freaks people out when they see me upset. because i'm either one extreme or the other. i go from 0 to furious in about 0.007 seconds ... but it usually takes quite a bit to get me to that point. at least, a lot more than it used to. the only thing is, i used to be a seventy pound weakling. i couldn't do much damage when i beat the hell out of things as a kid. NOW it's an entirely different story. sometimes i underestimate my own strength. i guess that's why i like to weightlift when i'm angry. i actually use 100% of my potential capacity that way.
the reasons i've gotten upset today. well, first it was calculus... the entire second half.
and now the car. it's very nearly dead. well, the engine is fine. and the rest would last me the summer. the brakes are very fixable for cheap and with a nominal amount of energy, could be done within a week, maybe even a weekend, if i pushed myself. but it's not worth transplanting a new tranny into. not even a used tranny. and it's getting to be not driveable, because the fluid is leaking onto the clutch plates, and i'm not getting enough friction. and there's still the issue of guiding the clutch cable through the firewall. that would be such a pain in the ass to fix properly, but i can't seem to come up with anything else that works at all. i thought when i had to give up my baby, i would be sad. but i'm not sad. i'm just pissed at it. for some reason i just expected it to puke on me one day. some part would just blow, and i would be forced to find something else, because it would be too costly and time consuming to replace. but no, it's just kinda slowly drifting away, in a very frustrating, smelly, leaky manner. and for some reason that bothers me. like i don't want to give it up, because there's still that chance. but i have to give it up... and soon.
which means i'm gonna have to steal the toyota for prom. which is not at all an appealing prospect. i could tolerate the stinking thing, if only the throttle wasn't so muddy. that just makes the whole driving experience a total nightmare. and it's just not cool. not that my car really is. but at least i like my car. i don't like the pickup at all; least of all, not well enough to delude myself into pretending it's cool.
well... i'm faced with a decision. a decision that requires me to borrow money either way i go with it...
source a cheap (yeah right $$$$) donor tranny, and a poor unfortunate soul (one who has tools) to help me install it.
-OR-
buy a newer used car. which may not even be a volkswagen... a very depressing prospect. if i sold my soul to the devil, i would get this one...
it's a 1984 GTI. it has a sports suspension, is ready to have a sound system installed, and has 200+ ponies under the hood. all for $3000. the guy is taking a huge loss on this (he has the receipts for 8 grand worth of parts). and i'm still too fucking poor...
i suppose i would need to get a job in order to remedy my indigence, eh?
shit fuckers...
i'm so tired anymore. i just have no drive. it pisses me off. then once i've vented, all i've managed to do is waste more time getting nothing done, and wind up more tired than i was in the first place. and that really pisses me off...
it's a vicious cycle.
6 Wasted Their Money |
Spare Some Change?
|
|
spud
|
::
2005 26 April :: 5.13pm
just picked up suit. will now try on, to make sure it fits. i'll have to figure out what i'm wearing to interviews tomorrow. probably grey, witht the purple tie :)
also got the money for car insurance. i'm getting sick and goddamn tired of draining the steelcase account...
hopefully i won't be too poor to pay for prom stuff (dinner, gas, flowers, hookers, etc.)
i'm such a little bitch sometimes. but i had a nice talk with mrs. millard today so it all worked out. and maybe i can do some homework tonight, since i get to sleep in an extra half an hour tomorrow. well, i should probably get up at the normal time, just so i'll be ready.
GO! GO! GADGET: lethargy...
3 Wasted Their Money |
Spare Some Change?
|
|
spud
|
::
2005 25 April :: 8.46pm
:: Music: still miles davis.
sandwich update ... egg food
i am having some trouble recollecting my previous food adventure specifically, so please forgive me. if you had seen as much as i have, you'd have trouble distinguishing between food adventures after awhile too...
well, my latest endeavour was one born out of necessity. after all, only the strong survive. apparently i'm strong. either that, or i'm morbidly obese (bmi = 31.5). anyway, after a long day of study at the local potato academy (high school), i went to my friend trevor's house for a game of "keep your eyes on the ginsu". most of me is still here, after 2 and a half arduous hours of dodging whirling blades. what parts of me that aren't here are not required for procreation, and have been donated to Charity (trevor's pet ferret). i never knew ferrets liked french fries. well, actually they're american fries. anyway...
i had to refuel my bushel of washers on my way home, which was a huge fiasco, and cost me the most money in the history of money i've spent on peanut oil.
....needless to say, i had to then go to the auto wash adjacent to the fuel distibution hub to get the mess cleaned up.
by the time that was finished, and i had returned home, i realized that i was famished. and as i looked for food, i realized that my cupboards were barren, because mom ... er, i mean... my roommate... had cleaned everything out in preparation for our relocation to something a little more suburban.
thinking on my feet, knowing that soon my feet would be out from under me if i didn't replenish my glucose, i took three eggs from a container that said "do not consume after April 21 under penalty of 'you die'." ... or something like that. i scrambled the raw eggs in a disposable plastic bowl with a salad fork, because everything else in the house was completely gone, put half a stick of butter in our lone frying pan, and once it had melted, poured the raw egg mixture into the pan (on medium heat), and covered the pan with a ceramic plate. then i praised my ingenuity. upon the conclusion of my egpcentric acclamations, i found a large bag of lunchlady cheese in the fridge, that i'm sure was too saturated with preservatives to ever spoil or mold, and something in the pantry that resembled a cinderblock composed of a starch-based material. the cinderblock came pre-sliced, so i retrieved 4 slices, and placed the remainder back in the pantry... not in the garbage, where it should have gone. once the egg/butter amalgamation solidified, i sprinkled some of the indelible (but not inedible) cheese on top, replaced the lid, and melted the cheese over low heat. once the cheese had melted, i cut the concoction in half, and placed each half on a slice of starchbread. i took the 2 remaining slices of starchbread and placed them both on one of the sandwiches, leaving the other openfaced. i poured myself a solo(tm) cup of milk, and placed it on the floor. then i sat on the floor indian style, with the plate of sandwiches on my lap (yes the same plate i used as a cover) and proceeded to ward off the dogs who were vying for the "food" i had made, even though i had fed them THEIR food, not ten minutes ago.
from there, it's pretty self-explanatory...
but i will say this:
... legend has it, that if you go there today, you can still hear his ghost in the dining room screaming "GAAAAAH, THE KNIVES IN MY TUMMY!!!!!" which is inevitably followed by a particularly excruciating bit of flatulence.
then i made my bed.
THE END
Spare Some Change?
|
|
spud
|
::
2005 25 April :: 8.40pm
fried prom odyssey
got tickets. got gum. got picture frames. we have both been appropriately clad (meaning: we both got our dresses, handbags, earrings, purses, shoes, lederhosen, bill clinton masks, etc.).
dinner is to be at one trick pony or bluewater grill. i'm leading toward the pony, just because it's more unique, and i've actually been there before. i need to make some phone calls.
the rabbit has been cleansed, refilled, stroked, refilled elsewhere, and stroked elsewhere. it still needs to be filled everywhere else, emptied in a few places, vacuumed, and thoroughly wiped down.
brakes and transmission are issues i will conveniently overlook for the interim. or until i can't overlook them anymore.
4 Wasted Their Money |
Spare Some Change?
|
|
spud
|
::
2005 25 April :: 8.19pm
:: Music: miles davis - kind of blue
OPEN HOUSE !!!
alright, here's the deal...
MOM'S
May 21 (yes, that soon, don't ask me why.)
in cedar springs, at my house. mapquest the address if you don't know it, or ask and i'll tell you.
217 East Beech, Cedar Springs, MI, 49319-9505
catering was supposed to be by maynards, but seeing that they're now defunct, i don't know. we have salted peanuts, and denise thoms will be making the cake (frosting to die for!!). should be afternoon time or so.
DAD'S
July 2 (yes, that late, because mom wanted to leave june open for hers)
at the community bldg in ferrand estates. directions to ferrand estates are as follows:
us 131 south (approx 20 miles), 44th st west (approx 3-4 miles). it's past byron center rd. on the left. if you hit ivanrest, you've gone too far. it's almost exactly halfway between them. nearby landmarks to look for are Damon's, on the south side of 44th, and ramblewood center on the north. once you're on the driveway, just go til you hit the stop sign. at the stop sign, there should be a building smack dab in front of you. circle around building in a clockwise direction, while looking for spot. park. enter building. have good time. leave.
catering provided by GFS, simmered in elbow grease for at least 10 minutes. let cool. serve. dessert likely by kathy (dad's mrs. to be) ... mmmm *drools.
....
if neither of those work for you, then, tough! i never liked you anyway...
if they do work for you, please tell me so, and also indicate which one you are coming to. this is so i can tell my folks how much cake to build, etc. and also to get a ballpark figure of how popular i am.
i honestly don't care which one you come to. i just want you guys to have a good time. if you're looking for alcohol, don't come within a hectare of my dad's, because there won't be any. honestly, mom probably won't either. so there. but lots and lots of soda, especially at dad's. and if you're looking to see me super stressed out ... then mom's is the place for you.
like i said, post a comment, or email me, or give me a slip of paper with your name on it, and say which one you're attending. just because i'm a bitch like that. (honestly, i need to know once and for all how AWESOMELY POPULAR i am!)
coming soon from a spud near you: "prom update" and "fried egg sandwich ... food odyssey?"
8 Wasted Their Money |
Spare Some Change?
|
|
spud
|
::
2005 23 April :: 1.29pm
:: Music: mmmm... coffee and light jazz .....
... at dad's
waiting for the windows media plugin for nero to download. i forgot how crappy dialup can be.
anyway...
supposedly gonna hook up with jackie today. we'll have to see what happens. i know kevin wanted to go bowling, but we never confirmed or finalized any plans, so i don't know what he expects from me.
i also forgot i'm kinda broke. so i don't really have even ten bucks to go bowling... crappity butt poop ... or something like that.
i got nothing.
i'll talk to you later, i guess.
Spare Some Change?
|
|
m&ms487
|
::
2005 21 April :: 6.51pm
:: Mood: sad
It's going to be cold out again. Gas went up.
If I know I was born to perform on stage, then why does it scare me so much to know that I want to do that for the rest of my life?
Maybe because it's not a stable job like being a teacher or an accountant or a dietician.
Maybe it's because I want it so bad that if I fail I'm not going to know what else to do.
Maybe it's because I love it so much.
Spare Some Change?
|
|
spud
|
::
2005 21 April :: 3.00pm
quick prom update
dinner is still up in the air.
last night my mom purchased, for yours truly, a rediculously stupendous suit. that is: jacket, slacks, long overcoat, shoes, cuff links, dress shirt, and pocket silk. i'm gonna look frickin' HAWWTTT!
Jackie is now registered as a guest. Tickets will be bought as soon as possible next week.
Blardy Blar...
i'll talk at you kids later.
1 Wasted Their Money |
Spare Some Change?
|
|
m&ms487
|
::
2005 20 April :: 5.26pm
I wore my brand new woohu.com t-shirt today.
It made me feel special.
Spahgetti for supper tonight. Summer is filling in with things by the week. I'm starting to feel a little overwhelmed. I remember all those summer vacations where I sat and did nothing every single day. I didn't go anywhere for days at a time. Those were my most precious days. Those were the days when I knew things, characters in books don't betray. The lilac bush outside my window is budding. In a few weeks it will be bursting with purple and white. And then in a week it will be over.
The flower only gets a while to shine, while the bush lives the year 'round. It seems like that sometimes. We have only a few select times in our lives in which we can impose our beauty on the world. Are you a lilac or a venus fly trap?
Spare Some Change?
|
|
spud
|
::
2005 17 April :: 6.51pm
well, i went to jackie's today. that was fun. i'm sure it didn't seem like it by the way i was acting, but i really did have quite a good time. it was really refreshing to sit back and just do some of the simple stuff.
i need to do calculus and shit. but i'm sure i'll find something else to do.
yesterday i worked all day. then we took donny to dinner, and went to see sin city. jessica alba was the only redeeming factor in that movie for me. her story was the only one that i truly enjoyed. but even though i didn't enjoy it, i can still respect the phenomenal job they did in post-production. it was just incredible.
man, i'm totally beat.
4 Wasted Their Money |
Spare Some Change?
|
|
m&ms487
|
::
2005 14 April :: 7.41pm
:: Mood: contemplative
Everything is upon me. Or so it seems. Do you ever have those days where your head is just buzzing with things that you think you have to do, or just actionless emotions, and then you realize that it all means nothing? Everything is going to be just fine. You aren't being overstretched or spread too thin as the jumble of things in your head might want you to think. Like a well organized space. Things take up a lot of room when they are unorganized and you don't know what to do with them, but if you just sit down and figure out where everything goes, in the closet, on the shelf, next to the window, on the bookcase, and you know that it's where it belongs and you can easily find it again, then they take up a lot less room and you have more area to move around.
I've taken to observing people a lot lately. How they walk, talk, gesture. It's all very interesting. I realized that I do it a lot when I become withdrawn. It doesn't make me as happy, but I learn a lot. Just slow down and not talk, pretend that I'm not there, and just watch what happens without interacting. Many things are apparent when you only sit and watch. Today I watched a group of three people. All three are "involved" with another person. Two are guys, one is a girl. She controls them like nothing could ever control a man. She touches them and looks at them with large eyes when they are jokingly rough with her. She knows it's just play, but likes the attention. She gets hugs and lots of physical touch between both the guys. The two guys are friends, although from very different social cliques. They bonded in the way men do best, through competition. You can easily tell the younger is the submissive one because he always walks just a little behind the older, although he is in better physical condition. Both practically beg for her attention, although I'm sure not intentional, but the practices are reminiscent of some long burried mating interaction they do not recognize, but still put to action by their instincts.
Are you scared yet? I'm sure most of you know these three people. Have you ever looked at people in this way? Not as your friend, enemy, or associate, but as a human. Humans are quite odd creatures.
I've also observed that the overweight female, as long as she carries herself with convidence and a friendly nature, along with good grooming habits is far more accepted by her peers than a female with a perfect figure and ugly diposition.
It's all in the way you carry yourself.
2 Wasted Their Money |
Spare Some Change?
|
|