spud
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2008 16 April :: 6.46pm
:: Mood: tired, hungry, etc.
:: Music: my professor
job hunting
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i hate looking for jobs. i mean, i get excited about all of the opportunities. but i also get really depressed about how i feel like i'm not good at anything. and all the things i am good at, aren't interested in having me.
whether it's true or not, even partially, doesn't really matter. it still feels crappy.
then again, maybe i just need to eat.
and i feel guilty for not listening to the lecture today. but it's just review. so there.
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spud
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2008 16 April :: 1.37pm
i'm kind of a hard person to be friends with sometimes, i think.
not all the time. and not in all respects. but there are a few areas where i'm definitely lacking.
but that's okay, because i'm still not really that bad.
2 Wasted Their Money |
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spud
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2008 15 April :: 7.16pm
i walked out of class today because i was frustrated. probably not a good choice, but there you are.
at least i made amends with my groupmates. that's the important part.
4 Wasted Their Money |
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spud
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2008 14 April :: 11.59pm
:: Mood: better
:: Music: radiohead - no surprises
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i feel much better after today. i'm still kind of pissed about some stuff. and the wings lost. but at least, for whatever reason, i managed to evade the same sort of funkiness that's been haunting my shadows for the past week or two.
and there's nothing but good on the horizon. so, shut the fuck up, brain!
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m&ms487
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2008 9 April :: 11.05am
I just got asked to attend one of my Professor's graduate classes next wednesday for a discussion on George Elliot's Middlemarch with a special guest!!!
So, I am at the library checking out the novel so that I can read it!!!
YAY!
1 Wasted Their Money |
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spud
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2008 8 April :: 1.39am
it kind of reminds me of that episode of pete and pete where they tried to stay awake for like three days straight.
or something.
i think it's bedtime.
5 Wasted Their Money |
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spud
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2008 7 April :: 5.17am
:: Music: 311 - don't tread on me
i like how at some point it transitions in conceptualization from a very late night, to a very early morning. and yet, the task of nabbing down precisely where that transition occurs is nigh-on impossible.
my guess is that it's right around the time when the birds start chirping.
...
yep, i hear 'em.
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spud
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2008 7 April :: 2.41am
wow. it's gonna be a long stretch to exams.
and an early morning tomorrow. i'll be ready to crash once i get done at the scientists meeting tomorrow night. but that'll be fun, at least. the events leading up to it, not so much.
although, filming went reasonably well today. and i got some free food out of the deal. and i met a guy who wants to record me on drums. and i got to play drums at that party last night, which also had some free food and was a lot of fun. and i got to play drums and hear dad's new band on friday, and have some free food after that as well. so, the themes for this weekend were : party, free food, and drums.
not too bad. except that i got nothing accomplished and slept way too late this morning. but it all worked out, i guess.
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ratanatheevilkitty
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2008 5 April :: 9.38am
get OUT of my BRAIN
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m&ms487
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2008 2 April :: 11.43pm
This semester is almost done: there's only four weeks and exam week left. I can't say that I'm not excited for a break, but going home and working isn't my idea of a fun summer. At least I'll be living at the lake, since that's where my parents moved.
I have a few goals for this summer:
1. Practice at least one hour every day.
I really want to get good again, like really good, so that I can audition for a top band. University band is alright, but it's at the level of eighth graders most of the time. There are four bands at Central, University Band being number four. I'm sure I could get a top chair in the third band, or a low one in the second if I really get up on my scales and prepare some technical pieces. I need it anyway, I miss practicing, but it's one of those things I need to make time for or else it won't happen.
2. Write a literary article/criticism for publication
I think I might have found a few books that fit the bill: They are post-modern (1989, 1993), are by an American author, and can be analyzed in terms of gender and gender roles. It's weird how the author makes all of his characters lawyers with wives who are brilliant and beautiful, but lack motivation.
3. Keep working out
I'll be up at the lake, so this shouldn't be too much of a problem. I can lift weights in the base, run outside on the circle driveway in the park (about five laps equal a mile and there a few hills), and our living room is big enough to do some work out tapes. My parents work 7 to 4pm, and I should be working mid and second shift, so this should work out well for waking up and working out.
Anyway, those are a few of my goals and I'm announcing them to the world so I have to be accountable for them. We'll see what happens.
1 Wasted Their Money |
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spud
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2008 3 April :: 12.23am
you know. sometimes i just don't understand.
most times, in fact.
i just wonder where the fuck i went so wrong. when it all looked so promising. and then there are those other times when i wonder how in the hell it worked out so perfectly, when i thought it would be shit. and either way, i was fucking wrong, and didn't get a chance to appreciate it, because i was so busy being wrong.
and then i failed college. or at least pissed a bunch of people off for being stupid. and pissed myself off even more.
i've been ridiculously angry all day today, and i don't understand it. i really need to blow off some steam.
7 Wasted Their Money |
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m&ms487
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2008 26 March :: 10.50pm
I got so warm during ritual I almost passed out.
Ugh.
They will be brothers on Sunday! I'm so excited.
I know...I'm lame because I participate in extracurriculars in college.
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spud
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2008 25 March :: 5.46pm
:: Music: temple of the dog
i had a dream last night that i played hockey with the red wings. i was really bad. but they still liked having me on the team, for whatever reason. it was one of those dreams where it's really frustrating, because you can't move as fast as you know that you can. and you keep trying to will your body to do stuff, but it won't. before that i was driving in a car with my sister. which i think was a continuation of a previous dream i'd had.
did the in-class shoot today. it kinda sucked balls, but whatever.
robby had to cancel today. which i guess is okay. i just wish he would have told me ahead of time so i wouldn't have had to go and reserve the recorder and have dad bring the mics out and all of that happy horseshit. but i suppose it was for the best. it gave me time to get more accustomed to the machine and think through exactly how i want to set it up when he actually can record.
also, i couldn't talk to the financial aid people today. but i made an appointment for next wednesday. and i might be able to do walk-ins before the appointment. i'm debating on how urgent my need is. well, i need $2000 by april 25, if at all possible. so pretty urgent, i suppose.
then again, i won't be able to give them anything if i can't register for the class, which i also have to wait on. i talked to the lady in the school of com office today, and she said that the names hadn't been cleared yet, and to try again next monday. and if they're not up by next monday, i'll just have to wait longer.
and the honors college still hasn't cleared me for WRT 305 yet, either.
so all around, a whole bunch of waiting for people to get their shit together. which is frustrating. but there's nothing i can do about it, other than wait, so i might as well just relax and enjoy.
there's a free trade concert tonight that i'm helping out at. the scientists are running the pa and recorder for the show. should be fun. i enjoy doing that stuff, and they're good people. always a good time.
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ratanatheevilkitty
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2008 25 March :: 9.50am
AHAhr-rjbgoriririieiieiriw gt ht gurj
pas de pain!~-=`=`=`=
kalyanee i miss you
"love, me
or rather!
love me"
4 Wasted Their Money |
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spud
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2008 24 March :: 11.23pm
dear god,
if i go deaf because i'm the first person to ever be diagnosed with a "skull infection" i am going to be pissed at you until further notice.
sincerely,
Chris
actually, my nose is getting a lot better. but now my left ear is all messed up. it's happened two or three times now where i go to blow my nose, and then i blow too hard or something, and my ear pops, and then it rings and feels all funky, occasionally making more popping/swelling sounds, until eventually it goes away. but the entire time it's like that, i can't hear shit. i know it's something to do with my eardrum. but that doesn't make me feel any better. i kind of need my eardrum if i want to work in a recording studio. motherfucker.
i feel good though. i got a lot of shit done today. and i have lots more to do tomorrow. should be cool though. i'm definitely getting somewhere with stuff and things. always gratifying.
5 Wasted Their Money |
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m&ms487
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2008 24 March :: 8.36pm
I just went to my national society of collegiate scholars informational meeting. It was exciting.
Actually, I was quite relieved to find out that I don't have to be an active member next year; I can choose if I want to be the year after that, too.
And...all you have to do to be an active member is attend one social event, one fundraiser, and one community service event for the year/semester (not sure which). Either way, it should be fairly easy.
I think I have a cavity on my back molar.
The polish is also chipping off my nails at an alarming rate and it keeps catching everything.
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spud
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2008 21 March :: 1.15pm
:: Mood: unintelligent
yay!
thanks andy!
here you go:
*names have been changed, for fun and profit*
so, i'm a little slow sometimes. we all know this to be true.
i got an email awhile back from FRED, saying something along the lines of "i was listening to music on xxxxxxx.com, and it made me think/feel some of our conversation a while back. you should check it out." so, i was like 'okay. don't recall having any conversation of this sort with FRED. but hey, i forget things all the time.' so, life went on. a little while later i actually went and checked out the site. it was sweet, so i sent him a note saying it was awesome, and he replied with a couple of bands to check out. so i did. and i thought, 'wow, FRED's taste has changed a bit. i guess that's to be expected. and i like it. it's cool. but it seems different for him.' but it wasn't really that far of a stretch, so i didn't question it. life went on. then i made a project for my media II class, using FRED's music, and i sent FRED an email requesting permission to use it. and he replied saying it was fine, using what i understood to be some quote from the liner notes. only, when i checked the liner notes, i couldn't find anything remotely resembling the quote anywhere on them. huh. that's odd. so, i sent FRED a message today, saying that i had finished the project and, if he was interested, i could get a copy to him on DVD. he messaged me back with his address, so i could mail it to him. but why would i need to mail it to him, when FRED lives right in town? i could just drop it off at his apartment.
so, after working out the fact - and coming to terms with the embarrassment - that i'd been talking to the wrong FRED for about a year, i then realized that i'd roped myself into sending a dvd, having nothing to do with FRED (not to be confused with FRED) - or his music - all the way to fucking san francisco. that, and i still don't technically have permission from FRED to use the music that i'm sending to FRED.
all because i'm an idiot.
so, long story longer, no matter how many problems and snafus you encounter with all of your dealings today, whether at work, or at home, or with other bullshit, at least take solace in the fact that you're not quite as moronic as me.
sincerely,
FRITZ (a tribute to any dr. seuss fans in the crowd)
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spud
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2008 17 March :: 10.59pm
:: Mood: sick
:: Music: the fucking spin cycle. it's a squeaky bastard.
sick
this is a pretty typical conversation for us, i'd say:
me: yo
H: hey
just heading off
feeling better?
me: nope
H: huh
funny how that works
I suggest amputation
me: tie a tourniquet around my neck to stop the bleeding?
H: wrong head
me: no, that would only make it harder.
H: or turn blue and fall off
me: no, it does that on its own. it's a defense mechanism....
H: hmm
either way
register for classes tomorrow
me: yepper
H: I'm sunk
hst 300 - writing history and my capstone
plus the honors project
me: nice
H: boned
me: aren't we all...
H: you probably are
me: not tonight.
H: sucker
me: nope, not that either.
H: even worse
me: yeah
H: alright, I'm out
see you around
me: bye
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i like that it doesn't have to make sense to make sense.
alright, sheep-man. what's the next move? and how do i make this cold go away?
pretty please!
3 Wasted Their Money |
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m&ms487
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2008 13 March :: 9.31am
The Changing Time
They come FLOODING out of the Buildings: It is time.
I.
I see the small people Scramble
Hating the cold burning the Inside of their Noses,
Hating their own body for turning against them.
I need a tissue, please!
My nose is spurting inappropriate mucus!
II.
There goes one, Huddling inside his hood,
Like a turtle, afraid the air, the atmosphere
Will endanger him.
Perhaps he's right.
With the smoke stack only a few hundred feet away,
And a thousand [probably more, I'm bad at estimations]
Cars; Rolling into the parking lot
Who would want to breathe this air?
It's not a choice.
Maybe gas masks will become
As popular, as fashionable,
As carting around 16 ounces of water
In dispensable plastic bottles.
I firmly believe:
We make our own Destiny.
III.
There, Another,
Her pants are screamingly PINK!
I'm sure I can almost make out a shirt that SHOUTS:
KISS ME I'M IRISH!
When I bet she's more French than anything,
She can't even hold her own beer.
IV.
Now just a few Remain,
Wandering, Aimlessly,
But with Direction in Mind.
V.
Now, all are gone; They've scurried themselves
To their destination: to their destiny.
1 Wasted Their Money |
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spud
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2008 11 March :: 11.58pm
:: Music: metallica
strongbow on tap
it was a lot of fun going out tonight, and we got to see professor eick and stuff. he seriously gets more and more cool every time we hang out with him.
i didn't get anything done today, unless you count cleaning the bathroom floor. hopefully that will alleviate our ant situation.
but yeah. not very productive today. that's alright though. that's why we have tomorrow.
and the day after that...
and the day after that....
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