skife
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2010 6 July :: 2.02pm
things are more different than they have ever been before, i'm scared out of my mind.
1 comment |
please reply..so I feel special :)
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joslyn_julia
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2010 6 July :: 12.33pm
:: Mood: listless
why is it that friends just make me sad? or I feel broken because I am just all alone.
In other non whining about how my friends make me depressed news... apparently August 7th we (and by we, I mean my graduating class) are having a 5 year beach party. I like how it is not really official and I am invited through facebook. Maybe I'll sit on the beach here in Kenosha staring out at Lake Michigan thinking... Wow has it really been 5 years? I don't need to go home to see all those people. Most of the people I care enough to keep tabs on are facebook friends, and I wasn't much wanted or needed 5 years ago, so I think I can wait another 5 years to go and see that crowd anyways.
Mike is thankfully enjoying his new job and left for a 24 hour trip to pick up 3 ppl to bring back to WI tomorrow.
The suck thing is that as always I am left alone.
Being a cooped up bitch must just be the life. Although, you would think with how social I can be professionally, I would have more friends. Funny how it works, that the rest of the time I am just a wall flower, with nothing and no one.
1 comment |
please reply..so I feel special :)
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acidtears
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2010 6 July :: 1.42am
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: Goo Goo Dolls
You wait, wanting this world
To let you in
And you stand there
A frozen light
In dark and empty streets
You smile hiding behind
A God-given face
But I know you're so much more
Everything they ignore
Is all that I need to see
You're the only one I ever believed in
The answer that could never be found
The moment you decided to let love in
Now I'm banging on the door of an angel
The end of fear is where we begin
The moment we decided to let love in
I wish
Wishing for you to find your way
And I'll hold on for all you need
That's all we need to say
I'll take my chances while
You take your time with
This game you play
But I can't control your soul
You need to let me know
You leaving or you gonna stay
You're the only one I ever believed in
The answer that could never be found
The moment you decided to let love in
Now I'm banging on the door of an angel
The end of fear is where we begin
The moment we decided to let love in
There's nothing we can do about
The things we have to do without
The only way to feel again
Is let love in
There's nothing we can do about
The things we have to live without
The only way to see again
Is let love in
You're the only one I ever believed in
The answer that could never be found
The moment you decided to let love in
Now I'm banging on the door of an angel
The end of fear is where we begin
The moment we decided to let love in
please reply..so I feel special :)
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acidtears
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2010 1 July :: 2.19pm
:: Mood: content
Is employed!
please reply..so I feel special :)
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joslyn_julia
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2010 24 June :: 8.51am
ya know considering that I am 23 I should not be having petty arguments with my mom. I am so sick of being blamed for her finances I could just smack her.
I as an only child, should be able to expect some help with buying clothes. Oh wait... I had to buy my own shit in high school, why the fuck would I get help now.
I am fed up with not having appropriate clothes for the season and even more annoyed that I am constantly having to get clothes that my friends are getting rid of, and then keeping them forever, just because I constantly am unable to get any clothes for myself. I really wish I had the gumption in high school that I have now... but it's prolly good I didn't, or I would have been in a lot of fights.
I am not spoiled! I have to work for what I want/ need. And considering that everyone thinks my parents are rich just because we have a jewelry store... wake the fuck up and smell the roses. The only people who seem to buy gold these days are place who are selling it to china. And people buying 9karat or less stamped goods coming from china with.... *drumroll please*... unregulated markings!
People keep buying crap that is marked totally wrong. What happened to trade regulation, and pride in work? What happened to honesty? We are living in an era where it is so difficult to find any of the things we ought to have. Decency is gone... for the most part. I am sick of living in a world where it feels like I am the only one who cares.
What's worse is Mike doesn't even want to understand. I feel totally fucking alone. I should probably be used to that by now... since it's just about all i've felt for the last 10 years.
3 comments |
please reply..so I feel special :)
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joslyn_julia
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2010 21 June :: 9.23am
I'm on the pursuit of happiness <3
Mike starts his new job today. And I am wishing I could have stayed in MI for at least another week.
Oh yeah... and wake up sex rocks! lol
please reply..so I feel special :)
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acidtears
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2010 20 June :: 7.03pm
Today= Moving Day.
please reply..so I feel special :)
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skife
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2010 18 June :: 10.57am
i actually like getting up these days.
i get up, get around, go to work, enjoy what i do. i get to hang out with cool people at work, i have an awesome girlfriend. great friends.
this is my bfffy's birthweek so we get to celeberate. fuck yes!
i'm going to buy a motorcycle soon and sell the chevy, its a 60 mile round trip drive to work, gas is expensive in a jeep that only gets 16mpg
2 comments |
please reply..so I feel special :)
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joslyn_julia
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2010 13 June :: 11.20pm
somedays i think i am cursed to always be alone... might as well start getting used to my own company
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phil-himself
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2010 12 June :: 3.42am
Who you are can be better.
please reply..so I feel special :)
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joslyn_julia
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2010 26 May :: 10.28pm
i hate that mike isn't working normal hours. i hate not being able to know when the heck he'll be home...
please reply..so I feel special :)
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jim9nin
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2010 26 May :: 10.47pm
"A small controversy has risen, after a report that President Obama would not be attending a traditional Memorial Day ceremony at Arlington National Cemetery. Instead, Obama will spend the holiday with his family in Chicago.
Traditionally, presidents would lay a wreath on the Tomb of the Unknown Solider. Some conservative groups are angered by the move.
"Obama will however make it back to Washington in time next week to honor Paul McCartney, who has sacrificed so much for the freedoms we enjoy," seethes conservative commenter Michelle Malkin."
Another great move by the President.
7 comments |
please reply..so I feel special :)
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phil-himself
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2010 20 May :: 6.37pm
Knowing how fragile mortality is and then if not completely disregarding it.
please reply..so I feel special :)
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joslyn_julia
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2010 20 May :: 1.53pm
sometimes life makes me feel like we will always be stuck between a rock and a hard place. thankfully things somewhat pan out. and thank God that our land lord is willing to work with us and can understand how life happens.
a long weekend of work and weddings in MI is coming up.
please reply..so I feel special :)
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rayray
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2010 19 May :: 1.58pm
:: Music: Life After You - Daughtry
I used to think that I was going to be one of those people that lived alone with 50 million cats and grew old by myself.
Apparently, someone else had a different plan for me.
I never imagined myself being pregnant. Always swore it off and said it wasn't going to happen.
And no, I am not that girl that says "OMG! How did this happen?"
But something about being pregnant has changed me, other than the obvious things.
My outlook on life hasn't really changed, yet.
I still think the world is cruel, people are selfish, and I am more scared to raise a child in this world than I am to live the rest of my life in it.
I had to work my way up to taking a pregnancy test.
I was scared for the result, I had my hopes up for both possible answers.
Part of me knew what the test was going to say, but a piece of me doubted it.
Then for the next few weeks, it didn't seem real to me at all.
The only thing different in my life, was that I hadn't had a period and I didn't crave mountain dew.
At my 11 week appointment, the situation changed. I heard the heartbeat for the first time, and my hear grew a million sizes.
I knew it was real, but it still didn't feel real.
Since then, I have had cravings, ripped the ass out of my favorite jeans, cried an immense amount of tears about my pants not fitting, and grown out of all of my bra's in a weeks time.
I am becoming more annoyed with people, and have been having dreams that make it seem like I am smoking crack before I go to bed.
I had my 15 week appointment today.
I heard the heartbeat again, had blood drawn to test the baby for certain things, and scheduled my ultrasound.
Now things are becoming even more real.
I cannot wait to meet this little nugget.
I joke about my fears of ginormous ears, and reddish hair.
Now my BIGGEST fears are, that my child will hate me, be as shallow, selfish, emotional, and messed up as me.
I HOPE that my child is as athletic as his/her dad, as smart/funny as me, but knows that it has a HUGE family from both sides that will love him/her unconditionally no matter what.
I know I can't be a perfect parent, but I just want to be a good one.
I want my kid to understand that it's not always what you have in life that counts.
please reply..so I feel special :)
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