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This is your life, is it everything you wish it would be?

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a-demons-angel

:: 2006 16 December :: 3.27pm
:: Mood: death
:: Music: Adam's Myspace

~cough/hack/death~
Me: My throat feels like it has been violated with a rusty penis.

Juliano: HOORAY!!

<3

Old and busted


jus4fun06

:: 2006 14 December :: 12.49am

i am sick of this
spiralling out of control
i will have it
i will have it back
i will do it
i can
i can be like them
be like them
pure. thin. unbroken.

Old and busted


loserxdork

:: 2006 5 December :: 11.42pm
:: Mood: frustrated

Sooooooo I've sent countless emails to many people for babysitting positions and I'm just waiting on getting replies, I've looked into live in positions as well so that way I could move out of the house, and that would be nice. I'm not getting my hopes up though. All I really need to make is like $250 a week and I should be ok. I put an ad up on craigslist too and hopefully that brings a few responses. I made a channukah list which consists of:

1.a pair of uggs
2.the rent soundtrack
3.panic! at the disco CD (which my moms ex boyfriend broke)
4.the movie patch adams
5.the movie jack
6.the movie click
7.giftcards to stores
8.a juicy tracksuit, or just the hoodies

and I haven't really though of much else yet.

So, I'm waiting on my capital one card to see if I get accepted and I applied for a bloomingdales card so I can get 10% off when I shop. I feel bad cause I told my sisters that I would get them uggs for channukah and if I don't get a job before then I definitely wont be able to afford them but whatever, it isn't my fault, my dad had to fire me righ before the holidays.

You wanna hear something really fucked up? The day my dad fired me, like, before we got to work, he let me buy him breakfast. HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT? Whatever.

My mom wants me to see a psychiatrist and I should go but I don't know, I guess I will, whatever.

That is all for now, kinda tired so I'm gonna get off the computer soon.

Old and busted


a-demons-angel

:: 2006 27 November :: 7.36pm
:: Mood: Tired
:: Music: Revenge of the Sugar Plum Fairy - Trans-Siberian Orchestra

This school survey thingy..
Who's locker is next to you?
I'm not quite sure, I don't use it. But in 7th grade, my locker was next to Emily's, which was really kick ass.

-Are you usually on time to 1st period
Always. Always. Always.

-Full size or small sized locker?
Full size bitch.

1 S T P E R I O D:

-Who sits beside you?
It's not so much sitting as it is laying, and it's usually Bunn and Sanguine, but Sanguine did the whole exchange program thing so now I have Eor in my class.

-What class is it?
Sleeping 101

-Who's your teacher?
Mr. CAB (Comfy Ass Bed) and Mr. FC (fluffy comforter)

-Have you ever fallen asleep in first period?
Fallen asleep? No. Been asleep? Everyday

2 N D P E R I O D:

-What class is it?
Spanish I

-Who's Your teacher?
Mr. Castillo

Are you failing this class?
Actually, I usually have an A in this class.

-Is this your favorite class?
I don't really have a favorite, but this is definately the easiest.

-Who do you sit in front of?
That kid I sit in front of.

-Who do you talk to the most?
Most definately my teacher. He asks me a question and I answer.

3 R D P E R I O D:

-What class is it?
Marine Bio Honors

Is your best friend in this class with you?
Hahaha-no.

-Do you hate anyone in this class?
Hate is such a harsh word. I prefer strongly dislike. And I strongly dislike many people, starting with my teacher and warming up expansively from there.

-Are you allow to eat in this class?
Everyday. In fact, this morning I brought basil and garlic goat cheese, and mini toasts. It was quite delicious.

4 T H P E R I O D:

- What class is it?
AP American History

-What do you do during 4th period?
Listen and laugh. My teacher is awesome and she makes this class amazing.

-What is your teacher's name?
Ms. Kay

do you chew gum in 4th period?
If I have it and the situation calls for it

-Anyone you want to shoot during 4th period?
That one Christian girl that's ugly and has a really big mole on her face. I'm not vain, it's not her looks that make me dislike her, it's what she says. Stupid zealous, religious over-achiever..

Is 4th period your fav class?
Actually, yeah, it probably is. But it's also the most demanding of them.

5 T H P E R I O D

-what is it?
AP English

-is your crush in this class?
No. He's 20 and doesn't go to high school anymore. And even if he did, he was homeschooled.

-do you have any relatives in this class?
Not to my knowledge

-whos the teacher?
Mizz G-Rafalo

6 T H P E R I O D

- WHAT IS IT?
IT'S SOMETHING!
But specifically, it's AP Bio.

-is your ex in this class?
Nope. I haven't go to school with a boi/ex since the 8th grade.

-do you day dream in this class?
Never! Why would I ever want to miss out on hour long lectures about proteins, cell membranes, enzymes, osmosis, or anything of the sort!? The idea itself is appalling!

-whos the teacher?
Mrs. Weise, who is like.... a million years old.

A F T E R S C H O O L:

-Bus?
Nope.

-Walk?
Once. Took me an hour and a half.

-Ride?
My mama. She's never on time.

-hang with friends?
Afterschool? It's very rare, I don't really have any close, close friends at school. But I do sometimes hang with Malic after school, and that's always fun.


Yessss....
Boredom...

Bye!

<3

Old and busted


loserxdork

:: 2006 16 November :: 3.38pm
:: Mood: calm

It's my birthday.
Happy 18th birthday to me!!

6 New hotness | Old and busted


jus4fun06

:: 2006 12 November :: 11.32pm

could this all...
be just a dream

could these feelings
i feel
everytime you smile
no
look at me
be really real??

i really really like you.

i think this is for real.

dont you?

Old and busted


jus4fun06

:: 2006 30 October :: 10.38pm

i dont know what i would do without this boy
he slept on the hospital floor
for me
awwwe!

Old and busted


jus4fun06

:: 2006 27 October :: 12.45am

zach is such a comfort to me. when he holds me... i feel so safe and secure. i was so grateful for him when we went to the emergancy room. i was glad that he was there to hold my hands. and he cares so much and its so cute... i really think i found a keeper. i hope nothing goes dreadfully wrong in the future that we get sperated. im thinking since i want to be together and i know i could have a good life with zach, fates going to change everything for me. shes going to mess it all up for me. which makes me very sad. i know this is not permanent. i know that this will not last forever... but im so happy here... in this moment... together... with him.

Old and busted


a-demons-angel

:: 2006 24 October :: 2.29am
:: Music: EmpTe - Skinny Puppy

By they way.
I find getting no sleep utterly depressing.
I can't wait for Thursday.
SLEEP.
<3

Old and busted


a-demons-angel

:: 2006 24 October :: 2.21am
:: Mood: Sleepy
:: Music: Assemblage 23 - Ritalin (Nerve Filter)

English Essay
Message: Tragedy can be a blessing in disguise.

It was after dark. My little sister, Asja, and I were happily playing with our Barbie dolls in my room in our cozy house in Dallas, Georgia; Ken had just confessed his undying love to the ever beautiful and mysterious Mermaid Barbie and was now proposing. The Little Mermaid had always been my favorite story. But just as Barbie was about to say “yes”, a terror-invoking shout erupted from the hallway, followed by a choking sob that filled me with more fear than I should have ever known. I rushed out into the hallway as fast as I could, Asja right on my heels. We emerged just in time to see Daddy violently shove Mommy against the wall and slap her hard against the face. I watched helplessly with the grim realization that there was nothing I could do to help her, the one that loved me more than anyone ever could. When she feebly tried to push him away, he struck her again. I took it upon myself to protect Asja from this horror and gently ushered her into her room, softly closing the door behind us. The only light in her room filtered in from the street through the blinds on the window, dimly illuminating the floor beneath the window with an orange glow. I could barely make out Asja’s small and quivering frame, she was scared and confused, but her eyes were aglow with the desperate need to do something. I helped her into bed and layed down beside her. “Is Mommy going to be alright?” she asked in a tiny worried voice. She didn’t understand what exactly was going on, but understood that something was wrong. “She’ll be fine.” I replied, kissing her forehead, and reassured her of the this until she fell sound asleep. I however, laid awake, unable to sleep. I prayed, wished, hoped something would happen to stop what I could still hear going on. And a few months later, on July 25th, 1996, my prayers were answered in a way that I never could’ve imagined.
I couldn’t have been asleep for more than a few hours when my mother burst into my room and shook me awake. “Wake up, Jade, wake up! Something’s wrong, we have to go to the hospital right now! There’s no time to get dressed, Aunt Anita and Uncle Butch are already waiting in the driveway. Go ahead and run out there while I grab Asja.”, she said in a frightened voice. I stifled a yawn, quickly jumped out of bed, and rushed outside with my mother following close behind with Asja in her arms. The drive to the hospital was a blur, and once we got to the hospital, we rushed into the lobby, and were immediately directed to a waiting room. I found myself waiting with only Butch and Asja, my grandmother had come too, but all the women were somewhere else. We didn’t wait long before they all came back in the room crying with more pain than I ever could’ve thought possible. I was beyond confused and frightened. I turned to Butch and asked “What’s going on?” to which he replied in a pained but quiet voice. “Your dad is dead.” And as I sat there in shock, refusing to let myself cry so as not to scare Asja further, something inside me died. I was 6 and Asja was 2. This event marked the real beginning of my life.
In the years that followed, my mother would move my sister and I down to Florida, where we would live poorly, with her drifting from one wicked man to another, making happiness always seem just out of reach. And up until a few years ago, it was.
Four years ago I met the best sister from another mother a girl could ever have, Emily Galea, and the best friends ever. Dylia, Naomi, Loni, Keith, Josh, Bill, and Adam. I also met my first love, Diego, whom I'm still with today. But more importantly than all of this, my mother gave birth to my little sister, Athena, who is now 2. You have never known joy unless you have had the privilege to raise a child. It’s the most amazing experience in the world, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Not even to have my abusive father back. I understand now that there must be a balance. For every pain, a moment in heaven, for every tear, a smile, for every laugh, a cry, for every tragedy, a blessing, and for every death, a life.


Yeah... So....
It's really emo.
But I thought that it would get me a better grade.
That's not to suggest it isn't true though.


LOVE YA ~insert quack Emily face~

<3

1 New hotness | Old and busted


a-demons-angel

:: 2006 23 October :: 3.27am
:: Mood: tummy ache
:: Music: Type O Negative - Love You To Death

I'm bored.
You love me.
And love to make me feel loved.
So... fill this out:

1 My name?
2 Where did we meet?
3 Take a stab at my middle name?
4 How long have you known me?
5 How well do you know me?
6 Do I smoke?
7 Do I believe in God?
8 When you first saw me, what was your 1st impression?
9 Color eyes?
10 Do I have any siblings?
11 Have you ever had a crush on me?
12 Would you ever kiss me?
13 What's one of my favorite things to do?
14 Do you remember one of the first things I said to you?
15 What's my favorite type of music/band?
16 What is the best feature about me?
17 Am I shy or outgoing?
18 Would you say I am funny?
19 Have you ever seen me cry?
20 If there were one good nickname for me, what would it be?
21 Are my parents still together?
22 What do I love?
23 What songs make you think of me?
24 If you could set me up with one person for the rest of my life, who would it be and why?

<3

5 New hotness | Old and busted


jus4fun06

:: 2006 18 October :: 11.59pm

my ear hurts. i miss my ear. my real ear... not this swollen, red ugly one that hurts like a mo-fo. *frownie face.

Old and busted


jus4fun06

:: 2006 14 October :: 6.39pm

---->> Yesterday, I went with Jen and Lisa's art class to the art museum in Philly. I went completely free. Originally, its eight dollars to get into the museum, but the art class payed for me. We had a paper which was a scavanger hunt throughout the museum. I liked just walking through all the rooms better. I had gone to the museum before, but I found so many rooms that we had missed. Like we missed the colonial period and the asian art. Those were the two parts of the museum that I liked best. My favorite, however would have to be the set up rooms they had throughout the museum. I liked those the best. What can I say, I have a passion for arcitecture. The Asian art was also amazing. There was a giant room with the wooden rafters from some building that was amazing. It had painted lillies on the top. mmm.. me likey.
---->> Then we went to dinner at a brewery. There was so many bottles of alcohol. ahhhhhhhhh... The food was gewd. I got a pizza without tomatoe sauce on it. Yummy. The service was also really fast. Before I knew it, the food was there. I also got chocolate cake for dessert. The art class once again paid for me. Which was awesome!!! They were given an allowence of 20$$ to spend on food. I spent 13.50. Quite proud of myself. I gave a dollar towards the tip anyways. Meanwhile, Zach was here playing w0w. He had a raid that night. I knew he wouldnt leave his room to eat so I made sure to save three slices of pizza and half of my chocolate cake for him. He seemed happy for it when I got home. Around one, Zach's raid ended so he came to bed. We couldnt sleep due to the party next door that raged on. Haha. The funny thing is, we both woke up around 430. I remember hearing pacman. I made a comment about it. Zach said something about the ghosts running away and we then went back to sleep. It was very odd.

Old and busted


jus4fun06

:: 2006 9 October :: 11.59am

isnt he beautiful??? i couldnt help but upload the picture of us together. he is amazing. he is my boy... hmmm... {{huggs}}

Old and busted


jus4fun06

:: 2006 8 October :: 12.36pm

im feeling...
something different

i ask him -- why?
and he looks at i just dont understand.

Old and busted

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