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2010 26 March :: 11.35pm
They say things happen for a reason, but why do bad things happen to good people?
I am excited about being pregnant.
I was even more excited that I was going to have someone to share my pregnancy with, and was even more excited that, that person was going to be my sister.
I wanted to have that bond with her, and have a child the same age as hers.
That way even though they weren't siblings, my child would still have a cousin the same age to grow up with. Someone close in age with him/her, like I didn't really have.
However, God had a different plan.
My sister had a miscarriage yesterday morning.
She is completely heartbroken, and I want to do everything I can to take away her pain.
I don't know how to console her, or help her through this, and that hurts me.
Reading her blog about the events that took place yesterday tore me apart inside.
It has been a half an hour since I read it, and I still have not managed to find a way to stop my own tears.
There are so many emotions that I have running through me right now, that I don't even know where to begin to try and seperate them, and work through them.
I just really wish I could be there with her and help her through this..
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rayray
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2010 16 February :: 6.57pm
:: Music: Life After You - Daughtry
Life.. it happens whether we want it to or not..
I feel like I have hit a stand still in my life.
I don't feel like I am moving forward or backward.
I am completely happy with everything that has happened.
I love my life, just feel like it's too straight and narrow.
I hate my job; getting up at the same time, leaving at the same time, doing the same thing everyday, and seeing the same people.
I hate the repitition.
I understand that no matter what job I will end up doing, I will be doing the same thing over and over.
But after 2 years, I need a new scene. I need a different atmosphere.
I need to be able to go to work, and know that I'm not going to get into an argument with my boss over something petty.
I need a drastic change on the job front, like yesterday.
Something where I will see different people everyday.
I might be able to handle getting up at the same time, and leaving at the same time, if i had a different atmosphere to go to, and enjoy.
Having my nights to myself is lonely, and although I should be filling it with my homework, I don't.
I don't have the ambition to do my homework, because I am too caught up in being exhausted from work, and thinking about how I am just going to be going home to an empty, well almost empty house.
Ugh!..
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sugarjackj
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2010 16 February :: 6.37pm
I just want you to know,
That I love you Woohu.
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tuwang
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2010 11 February :: 11.54am
It's not that it happened, its that you don't understand why
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tuwang
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2010 28 January :: 11.17am
じゃ。。。 実は俺ホンマに俺の本当の気持ちを書きたいっていう気持ちが出てこちに誰も分からないように日本語で書く。
最近はまーまーやな。 なんてやってもいろいろがまだ悪いことにしてる。でも俺だけじゃなくて毎日授業中とか道路で歩いてる人とか誰でもすごくかわいそうな顔してる。無効に座ってる女が遅くサンド食べてて何か待ってることがありそうな感じだ。
つまりこの所が体にも心にもわるいんだ.
出たいな!っていつも考えてるのになんでかな? 出身じゃないか? 子供時代からずっと住んでる場所じゃないか?いつも好きじゃないとだめだっていう考え方もってるけど 嫌いな!大嫌いなんだよ!
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rayray
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2010 25 January :: 5.42pm
All the cool kids are doing it..
Has a hate list of her own today..
I hate that I have to be mean to get anywhere with morons that have better jobs than me.
I hate that I suck as a friend.
I hate that I don't realize that some things have boundaries, until its too late.
I hate that there isn't anything I can do in certain situations.
I hate that my boyfriend is back on second shift.
I hate that I have no ambition to do the ass load of homework that I have piled up on my desk.
I hate that I hate so many things.
Thought I had more to say, but I lost it..
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rayray
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2009 31 December :: 11.22am
I was trying to remember what I have done on New Years Eve for the past 10 years.. but there are some blank memories in there..
So, if you were involved, tell me memories you shared with me..
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box
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2009 29 December :: 4.29am
This is the kind of thing we need to hear these days.
I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our
liberties than standing armies. If the American people ever allow
private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by
inflation, then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow
up around [the banks] will deprive the people of all property until
their children wake-up homeless on the continent their fathers
conquered. The issuing power should be taken from the banks and
restored to the people, to whom it properly belongs.
- Thomas Jefferson, Letter to the Secretary of the Treasury Albert Gallatin (1802)
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rayray
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2009 25 December :: 4.06pm
Had a rough couple of days.
They were more or less just extremely emotional and frustrating.
Had a hard time dealing with the 5 year anniversary of my grandma's death, and then this being the first christmas without my other grandma.
Argued 2 days in a row, with probably the most ignorant person in Ionia County.
I have felt a lot of unnecessary stress this week.
I think I am finally getting over it.
Thought I would have more Christmas spirit than I ended up with, but I guess shit happens.
Better luck next year.
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outsyder18
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2009 25 December :: 12.00am
Merry Christmas Bitches!
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box
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2009 21 December :: 4.16am
I'm Drunk... at jenny's house.. and you all fail..
Mine!
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skife
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2009 17 December :: 11.30pm
Dear santa clause, Go fuck yourself.
I'm depressed because;
My wallet is empty
My paycheck is spent (can't even cash it until tomorrow)
I can't buy anybody christmas presents this year.
I know how "Tennessee" Earnie Ford felt when he is singing "sixteen tons"
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skife
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2009 16 December :: 10.31am
woke up scared to death at 5am or so.
had this weird dream, i was hanging out in this housing development with kelli and jordan, and then i remember jordan's mom called, so i got into an old ford bronco and went to pick her up or something and then this henry guy called and he called all night, telling me things about myself freaking me out, then he said he'd be there in 20 minutes. i really didn't want to stick around to see who this guy was because i thought he was going to kill me, then while i was driving my truck got sucked backwards and kind of spun twards a tree and my door flew open and i flew out and face first right twards a tree. i remember the tree vividly.
the next thing i remember is seeing a bunch of white letters on a black background in a weird font. i was speaking gibberish and then i woke up.
about an hour later jordan woke me up saying i was talking gibberish while sleeping.
i hate dieing in dreams, it freaks me out.
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skife
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2009 13 December :: 1.47pm
cameras ezwatch - TCP 5150
99.148.141.102
TCP 5160
99.148.141.102
TCP 80
99.148.141.102
TCP 8000
99.148.141.102
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rayray
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2009 10 December :: 7.51pm
I haven't updated in awhile..
Don't really have a good reason as to why.
I don't really have anything exciting going on in my life right now, but things are going great.
I am happy and all that.
Trying to get through this semester of school..
Working on trying to get a new job..
I am so sick of all the talk of them firing me.. They won't do it, and it pisses me off.
I wish they'd just get it over with..
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