Is it worth it can you even hear me

:: 2004 25 February :: 8.10am
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: everyone smoking cigarettes outside yelling

i missed the bus,my mom is mad and drove me to school. i got to school 20 minutes before i ever would have. oh well, i'll update about the day when i get home, k?

bye<3

4 yummys | insert here

:: 2004 25 February :: 5.40am
:: Mood: sickish
:: Music: the printer

bleeeeeeeeeeep
so on our way home me and linsey definitley saw tar and collin looking like a bunch of mexicans sitting in the back of the truck. and i must say that some people look pretty darn attractive sitting in a truck smoking. we also saw fro...twice...walking home im assuming. yup

donnie darko is my new lover. lennile is my lover as well for telling me to watch it. its so weird, i dont know i think its about how if we went back and changed just one thing that everyone would be affected by it...it was deep. very good

3 yummys | insert here

:: 2004 24 February :: 9.53am
:: Mood: scared
:: Music: too many ppl in the library

thinking things i shouldnt be thinking. somethings tend to consume me and wont leave me alone

4 yummys | insert here

:: 2004 23 February :: 9.32pm
:: Mood: wishful
:: Music: saves the day-cars and calories

if you look really closely you can see venus out tonight right next to the moon. it makes me really happy

stefoffanie

:: 2004 23 February :: 6.05pm

Im going to make my journal friends only, so if you cant see it log in then you can see what i have updated, if you really WANNA BE A FRIEND and your not on my friends list the im me or somthing and tell me, K :)......

2 yummys | insert here

stefoffanie

:: 2004 23 February :: 6.05pm

stefoffanie

:: 2004 23 February :: 6.05pm

:: 2004 23 February :: 2.40pm
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: hold on- good charlotte

well, its 2:31 on monday february 23rd and i would've been out of school - if i had went to school. i didn't go to school today because i felt like shit. my mom went to the doctor. ummm i hate a boca 'meatless' burger with barbeque sauce and it was good. lol very interesting right? i have like $100 i think im going to take my mom out to dinner..today maybe? idk. friday i went to the horse tracks with my mom,amy,and her boyfriend lonnie who is so nice. i bet on a horse (6) and i would've gotten 68 dollars if he won and he came in 2nd place. holy shit was i mad. i would've been up 78 dollars but he didn't win so i was only up 10 lol but i got to keep the 20 that lonnie used for the starting bets. saturday i hung out with sherri,amy,and brian and we drank and shit and then later at night lonnie took me and sherri to get bagels at 24 hour and ice cream at TCBY. it was fun times. well, thats all because sunday was a nothing day and today im sick so im not doing anything today and tomorrow is school. we have to wait until what, april for another vacation? lalala school is almost over. i might graduate half a year early because i am taking economics now instead of in 12th grade. well, i hope everyone is having a good day :)

i<3youall

:: 2004 22 February :: 4.53pm
:: Mood: shitty
:: Music: some shitty rap music

First best friend: samm and jaymes
First real memory of something: sleeping in laundry baskets with my cousin
First real kiss: my boyfriend in 7th grade
First Job: carvel
First screen name: actingbug1
First self purchased album: spice girls i think
First funeral: my great aunt frans
First pets: dog- casper
First piercing/tattoo: my ears
First true love: tomm
First enemy: jessica ragusta
First big trip: florida
First play/musical/performance: i was in project rescue in 3rd grade
First musician you remember hearing in your house: billy joel prob.
Last cigarette: last night
Last big car ride: when i drove to florida
Last kiss: a while ago
Last good cry: ummm when when jack died
Last library book checked out: i dont remember
Last movie seen: ummm save the last dance?
Last beverage drank: snapple?
Last food consumed: mint chocolate chip ice cream
Last crush: him<3
Last phone call: my mom
Last tv show watched: i dont know?
Last time showered: last night
Last shoes worn: my silver and white etnies
Last item bought: i dont remember
Last disappointment: OD not calling me last night :(
Last soda drank: last night?
Last ice cream eaten: today :)
Last shirt worn: my koRn 'still a fuckin freak' one

Here's a New 1 ...

[name ]: Marissa Leigh Fein
[ nicknames ]: riss,riss-ma,rissa,mariss,rissy,lil pissa,shrimp,marizzle
[ born in ]: oceanside
[ resides in ]: east rockaway
[ good student ]: pretty good
[ eyes ]: hazely
[ hair ]: brown with blonde highlights
[ shoe size ]: 7-8 somewhere in that range

Last time you...
[ had a nightmare ]: i dont remember
[ said "i love you" and meant it ]: today
[ ate at mcdonald's ]: in wantagh a couple of weeks ago
[ dyed your hair ]: umm like 7 months ago
[ brushed your hair ]: last night
[ Washed your hair ]: when i took a shower
[ checked your e-mail ]: today
[ cried ]: a couple of days ago
[called someone ]: last night at like 10
[ smiled ]: right now
[ laughed ]: 1 second ago

Do you...
[ do drugs? ]: not anymore
[ sleep with stuffed animals? ]: i sleep with my pug and my yorkie that OD gave me
[ have a dream that keeps coming back? ]: yeah...when i was like 5
[ play an instrument? ]: i used to be able to play violin and clarinet but not anymore
[ believe there is life on other planets? ]: yes
[ read the newspaper? ]: sometimes i do
[ consider love a mistake? ]: depending
[ like the taste of alcohol? ]: yeahh pretty much :)
[ believe in god? ]: nahh
[ pray? ]: nuh uh
[ go to church? ]: im jewish...
[ have any secrets? ]: tons
[ have any pets? ]: my cat dusty
[ talk to strangers who instant message you? ]: yupp
[ wear hats? ]: yeah
[ have any piercings? ]: in my ears
[ have any tattoos? ]: nahh
[ hate yourself? ]: yes
[ have an obsession? ]: haha yeahh
[ have a secret crush? ]: yuppsss
[ collect anything? ]: shot glasses
[ have a best friend? ]: yeah, i love you all so much<3
[ like your handwriting? ]: ehhh sorta its like a combination of print and script
[ have any bad habits? ]: yupp
[ care about looks? ]: alittle
[ boy/girlfriend's looks? ]: nah
[ friends and other people? ]: nah not at all
[ believe in witches? ]: yup
[ believe in satan? ]: nope
[ believe in ghosts? ]: yes i do
Current...
[ dress ]: pajama pants from my bat mitzvah and a koRn shirt
[ mood ]: pissed
[ make-up ]: none
[ music ]: some shitty rap music
[ taste ]: nothing
[ hair ]: straight and down
[ annoyance ]: fake people and shit
[ smell ]: nothing
[ thought ]: emohogotuoytnawi
[ fingernail color ]: nothing right now
[ refreshment ]: none at the moment
[ worry ]: nothing
[ crush ]: why do you care?

Last person...
[ you touched ]: my mom
[ you talked to ]: sherri
[ you hugged ]: uh i dont remember
[ you Instant messaged ]: chris
[ you yelled at ]: my mom
[ who broke your heart ]: ...

:: 2004 22 February :: 12.10pm
:: Mood: tired/shitty
:: Music: nothingface

im updating now but i have nothing to write about. basically everything was written yesterday when i was drunk..HAHA. umm i'll update tomorrow about sunday and monday at school.

laterloverz<3

:: 2004 21 February :: 10.36pm
:: Mood: dead
:: Music: the prom- the city gets lonely

i do nothing for attention
Just washing it aside
All of the helplessness inside
Pretending I don't feel misplaced
Is so much simpler than change
It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone

another wasted breath,
again it goes unnoticed.

In my nightmare I feel so alive
In my dreamscape escapades
I make the grade I save the
day

2 yummys | insert here

:: 2004 21 February :: 9.41pm
:: Mood: drunk
:: Music: maroon5- this love

im drunk, i got bagels and ice cream. i asked the guy if i was slurring my word...LOL it was fucking funny as hell, i dont know what else to write so thats it. aright? i'll talk to you later

i<3danrichieandod

:: 2004 21 February :: 4.50pm
:: Mood: drained

there are things that people dont understand about others. there is nothing wrong with that. no one was made to understand everything. we tend to pass judgement too quickly when we dont truly know the situation of the other person, i am guitly of this too, im not saying im not. some people cant help things that happen, they cant control what they do. some people are sick, some think they are, some arent. we dont know who is what or who isnt, theres no way to tell. people, inculding myself, need patience to understand things. there are some things in this world we can't fix, we cant handle. everyone is different.

you are my savior, i would have been gone so many times without you. you have no idea how much you mean to me, that you save me everyday. i dont know who i would be, if i would be, without you.

:: 2004 20 February :: 11.54am
:: Mood: aggravated
:: Music: splash waterfalls- ludacris

quiz..im alil bored
Name: Marissa
Nicknames: rissa,riss,mariss,riss-ma,marizzle,shrimpy,lil pissa
Screen name: m3ntalshorty,maj0rd0rkage
Sex: Female
Birthday: 11/16/88
Height: 4'10"
Hair color: dark brown with blonde highlights
Is your hair long or short: long
Eye Color: hazel
City born in: oceanside, NY
Location now: east rockaway, NY
Siblings: 2 sisters...nikki(8) alexis(6)
Parents married/divorced: divorced
Who are your closest friends: samm,jaymes,amy
Who makes you laugh the most?: joshy lyons
Who knows the most about you?: samm and jaymes

+++WHO WAS YOUR CRUSH IN...+++

Kindergarten: shane
1st Grade: kenny
2nd Grade:
3rd Grade: billy/bryan
4th Grade: billy/bryan
5th Grade: david
6th Grade: david
7th Grade: matt/bacci
8th Grade: john/tomm/joey
9th Grade: emilio *ew*
10th grade: richie
11th grade: ---
12th grade: ---
Boy/girlfriend status: single and wanting him <3

+++OTHER STUFF ABOUT ME+++

Do you have a job: i used to
What are you scared of: being alone forever
Who's your role model: my mom
Most interesting thing you've done this summer: drank too much alcohol
What store do you shop at the most: pac sun,h & m
Are you a ditz: haha sometimes

+++FAVORITES+++

Day of the week: saturday
Thing in your room: my bed
Cousin: jamie and lauren
CD: korn(issues),pantera,killswitch engage
Song(s): maroon5 (this love)
Animal: dogs,horses,cats
Ice Cream: box of chocolates,chocolate and peanut butter
Alcholic Drink:mikes,long island ice tea,sky vodka and cranberry juice
Thing to do: play soccer,tennis,dance,acting,singing
Movies: jack,schindlers list,october sky,gothika
Hangout: my house
Favorite pizza topping: i like buffalo pizza so - buffalo chicken
Where do you see yourself in 10 years: college
If you could live anywhere: san fransisco<3
Dream house: anywhere but ehre
What age do you want to get married: around 25 if possible
How many kids do you want: 1 or 2 so i can spoil them
Girl's names: shoshanna (nice and jewish..lol),savannah,cheyenne
Boy's names: jacob

+++HAVE YOU EVER...+++

Been in love?: yes
Lied?: Yes
Cheated on a test?: Yes
Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend?: once and i felt really guilty
Tied your shoes together?: no
Eaten something with a lot of fat?: yeah, plenty of things

+++FEELINGS SIDE+++

Worst Feeling in the world: being alone,being hurt
Best feeling in the world: being with someone you love
Can you define love? no, you can define real love
Do you get along with your parents?: most of the time
Are you ticklish?: hahaha,yes.

+++OPPOSITE SEX+++

1st thing you notice about the opposite sex: eyes,and smile
Perfect "dream" date: dinner and then cuddling on the couch
What do you look for in the opposite sex: personality
What does the opposite sex not know about you: cuddling is better than any sexual thing

+++NIGHTIE NIGHT+++

What do you wear to bed: pants and a shirt
What's your bed time: anytime i want
Do you wish on stars: i try
Is there a TV in your room: nope
What's the last thing you do before you fall asleep: nothing really
How many schools have you been to: 8 different schools
Are you passive or aggressive: more passive
Vanilla or chocolate: chocolate
Would you rather be hot or cold: cold
What is your curfew: about 3?

+++FRIENDS+++

Person you can trust the most: samm/jaymes
What is the best quality of a friend: honesty,trust,caring
What friend do you have the most fun with: everyone :)
Name your friends: samm,amy,scutch,jenn,vix,lauryn,maris,jess,krys,chris,selma,sarah,leigh,cassidy,sherri,jen,jaymie,jaymes,tim josh,larry,liam,sal,nick,and so many other people that i really don't feel like writing down ...BLEHHH

+++SILLY STUFF+++

Do you glow in the dark: uhh nope
Do you posses magical abilities: sure why not
Do you keep your underwear and socks in the same drawer: yes
Can you name all 4 Teletubbies:lala,dipsy,what asre the others?
If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?: mostly everything
Have you ever tried to kill yourself: never tried but i've thought about it
Do you know anyone who SERIOUSLY wanted to kill themselves?: eddie commited suicide.......
What are you addicted to?: my cell phone?
Do you like jewelry?: ehh alil
Do you wear a watch?: nah, never

Do you believe in God?: no
Do you believe in love at first sight?: nahhh
What are your favorite tv show(s)?: everwood,7th heaven,friends
What color tooth brush do you use?: i dont rememeber
Is the glass half empty or half full: emptyyyy
Are you listening to any of your CDs at the moment:no, but im listening to splash waterfalls

my mom's bringing pizza home, but sherri probably can't come over this weekend and now im fucking mad as hell.

<3`