<b> dream</b>

:: 2005 8 February :: 9.08pm
:: Mood: anxious
:: Music: bs - dont let me be the last to know

soooo anxious

kk. well lemme check my last few entries to see where i left off...

iight, well last weekend on friday me and lauren hung out. uhhm what did we doo?? oh yeaa haha. friday me and lauren went out to pizza classica and got some food and talked about a lot of shit, then we went to her cousins play out in long island. it was great, they performed bye bye birdie.. [we love you connnrad] [[SUFFER]] lol. I guess one of her family members wanted to "slap me in the face" because i laughed too loud or some shit, whatever. After the play we went back to laurens and passed the fuck out.

saturday we woke up around 8 because she had a dentist appointment to go to. after the dentist we went out to eat at omega. i finally got my eggs benedict which was greaat. Then we went back to my house so we could get my money and shit and then went back to her house and then we went to roosevelt field. Me and Lauren got john a valentines day present [cds] and then i got jimmys present. Its sooo nice. I got him fierce cologne w/ a keychain that has his name on it. And a cute stuffed animal and a card, im also going to get him a rose. I also got two shirts for myself from the mall. After the mall I went back home. Kristina came over and we watched A Cinderella Story --- cuuute ass movie, CMM is sooo hot! After that we played cards n stuff and went to bed.

Sunday morning was b e a utiful! Me and Kris woke up and ate breakfast, then we got in touch w/ lauren, went to abby doos and got some cards and then we met up with laur and went to bowne park. There we went on the swings nd i gave my adolecence speech, it was soo funny, good times good times. dont make me get into it hehe. After the park we went to mcdonalds for lunch and then playeed texas holdem on my grandmas patio. It was fun. after that we watched lake placid and had dinner. My cousins left and me and lauren wetn downstairs. We did our hair and watcheed the superbowl. We wnt to pick up paul around 830 and droppeed off lauren. that was about it.

hmm yesterday was school, nothing special.. days are dragging on like all hell. i guess its cuz i cant wait til sunday! i want to see him so bad but im SO nervous about seeing him, idk why, its like im scared. I duno. I cant wait, no matter what we do its gonna be fun.

Anyways, i was going to get shit off my chest, but i dont feel like complaining in this entry, soo im just gonna go and save the rest of the babble for another entry.

full week -- tomorrow go to rainbow and west coast video [gotta get something for lovie], thursday - go to johnnys with lauren n get nails done, friday - grams pickin me n lauren up to go to the city so i can get my hair done, might sleep there might not., saturday - kids should be coming over, chill w/ them, maybe s/o laurens. sunday go to a.n.s and get the flowers then head over to ronkonkamo. this week needs to go by a lil quicker - - - its only tuesday!

toodles

:: 2005 8 February :: 4.37pm
:: Mood: exhausted

i love youu ..
You've got your own way of looking at it baby

I guess that proves that I got mine
Seems like our hearts are set on automatic
We say the first thing that comes to mind
It's just who we are baby, we've come too far to start over now
I know what you're thinkin' ; I'm not always
e a s y to be around

But I do love you
You keep me believin' that you love me too
And I know it's true
This love drives us crazy but nobody's walkin' away
So, I guess we'll to do it the hard way

If I had a genie in a bottle
Three wishes I could wish for us
I wish we'd live forever and get along together
Turn these tempers into trust

But I do love you

Lifes all about dreaming

6 dreamers | Lifes all about dreaming

:: 2005 7 February :: 9.41pm

looong overdue update awaiting. i promise it'll be soon

much stuff to write about

fill me in!

11 dreamers | Lifes all about dreaming

:: 2005 5 February :: 3.04pm
:: Mood: disappointed

who the hell am i ? i dont know myself anymore ..

I dont know.

Valentines day is gunna stink

always does =[[

*<3

2 dreamers | Lifes all about dreaming

:: 2005 3 February :: 6.59pm
:: Mood: anxious

kriss !!
hope everything whent well today !!
i love youu !!! dont foeget to call me A-SAP =]]

:: 2005 3 February :: 9.08pm
:: Music: killers - mr brightside

high on life

wow. im actually happy. for the first time im actually very happy, to the point where it will take a lot to bring me down. I only wish lauren felt the same way [[babe we gotta talk]]

anywho, soo im thinking of getting him cologne for valentines day, but then i think well what if he dont like the kind i get, or he doesnt where cologne at all..?? Alls i know is im madd excited, i figured out what im gonna write in the card, and im going nuuts. got 24/7 goosebumps lol. who knows what we're gonna do n shit, alalala i just needa calm down and take it one day at a time haha.

Anywho, so i got an 84 on my government regent and i didnt even do the thematic essay -- WHOS A BALLER? lol .. Schools been okay, im interning for mrs brown after school and for mr radske at lunch, and im actually doing good in school, im actually proud of myself. REWIND! im proud of myself? That hasnt happened in a long time.

Well, i really miss my mom, im hoping she's looking out for me, i dont wanna get caught . but its not like im doing anything bad anyways.. idk idk , i just miss her in general. Freddy I miss you, i love you so much!

Lauren, we neeed to talk, i read your journal and i dont like when youre upset, but babe, i tell u over and over again and u dont listen, so i decided one of the days me and ur are hangin out we're gonna have a SERIOUS conversation about all of this. trust me, we both need one lol. Dont be so hard on yourself and get down on yourself. Trust me, we'll talk and shit will be better. You know i love you and im always here for you.

Anyways, Rest In Peace Fred, you will be missed. Say hi to my mommy for me. Well lets hope all things go as planned, but i need help figuring out a present, comment with advice. xoxox

did the sun just come up or did u smile at me?
The correct version // sex is like a casino, liquor in the front, poker in the back =]

edit
I have a camera lol, lovie u know there will be lots of pic taking the 13th lol. i can finally get a pic of us .. woop!

4 dreamers | Lifes all about dreaming

:: 2005 2 February :: 8.10pm

well the moment of truth arrived. both bad news and good news. but the good news completely outweighed the bad news!

talked to carly last night, not enough tho because i need to be filled in on the rest of stuff before i start assuming things. all honesty, its like everything changed once i left -- idk what the f-cks goin on anymore!

anyways, so im trying to figure out what to get him for valentines day, i know its a girly girl holiday, but i wanna get him something. i was thinking cologne, but what if he doesnt like the one i pick out? then i was thinkin a shirt from af, but i couldnt find one i liked.. idk maybe ill just have to look around and whatever pops out at me ill check out.

im sooo nervous about my regent grade, i really wanna know what i got on them, probably failed with my luck. Anywho, so nobody could ruin my day today. my smile would not wipe off my face. I CANT WAIT im so excited!! :D

anywho, goin to get my hair done the 11th, nails done i think the 10th, _________ the 13th, play the 4th, shoppping the 5th, lunch w/ laur n dinner w/ paul n aunt lee the 14th. phew i got a lot going on this month lol. plus MID WINTER RECESS! woot! well imma get going, gotta do some research on the golden age of television //psssshtttt// lol.

imm so nervous i have butterflies in my stomach. he drives me nuts, but i love every minute of it!

: D

edit
im so excited, and i just cant hide it! lol
sex is like a casino, poker in the front liquor in the back haha.

hey lauren, im a supergirl and im here to save the world lol.

livelikejackandsally

:: 2005 2 February :: 9.57am

hm.. yeah.

Lifes all about dreaming

:: 2005 1 February :: 10.20pm

well we talked today so i guess everythng is all gravy. he just gives me the jitters, the heebee jeebees, the butterflies in your stomach, on the edge of ur seat feeling that i just cant get past.

got my report card. sci - 85 gym - 100 english- 80 global - 80 lab - satisfactory math - 95 government - 85 italian - 95 and she wants to put me in honors. woo hoo!

anyways, so we talked a lil today, that was good, i just wish he could open up a little more. like i said before, i wanna hear the truth from him, not the grapevine. oh well.. .

so im not sure what to get him for valentines day, i was thinking the cologne i discussed with my meliS would be good, i just gotta see if i like the scent. idk about whats gonna go on with what gets written in the card, ill just have to play it by ear.

i have this bad feeling his answer to "beers" is going to be no. that he has other plans or he'll make some bullshit excuse, thats waht im afraid of. idk i just really hope his answer is yes, i dont have to get into detail of how important this is.. oie. i needa lay down..

anyways, imma get going, im in the middle of a texas holdem game w/ lovie and some other random people. its good to ramble on tho, get my feelings out haha. whatever

tomorrow. 148pm -- moment of truth

7 dreamers | Lifes all about dreaming

:: 2005 30 January :: 11.42pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: caught up -usher !! <3

lifes been rollin, and im sittin back watchin you
HEY HEY HEY !!

well, sorry for the lack of entrys recently.
lets get "CAUGHT UP" mwaahaha ;) ::

Last weekend, i went to the fair with jenn and krystina for the midnight madness. I had fun for the first 10 minutes. but jenn tryed her very berry best to brighten up the night <3 thanks you

so thrn i believe on wed krystina and i whent jsut the two of us during the day when they firtas opend. not a damn person was there rode all the rides just us, and well of courses the people who worked the fair wanted to ride with us.. yeap yeap, and then later that night we whent to joshes so she could get her neackles and we could say helooooo again

on thrusday since i didn't have to work, and i had a bad night at the fair the first time, KrIsTeN and I should go to the fair.
a. to have fun
b. becaues she hadnt EVER been.
c. ehhh, why the hell not ?!?!

ahhhhhhh, we had b l a s t <33 we rode every single ride `fo sho fo sho ` =]] even the real real scarey ones i said i would never ever go on, but i shorleeey did !! and had fun hehe. we whent into the fun houses and the haunted houses, mwahahah ... fun fun fun =]

saturday i slept over dannys. we had a good night =]]

then today , well Happy Anniversary
he hung out with all his friends for the day, krystina and i whent to the animal shelters. to look at the dogs and what not then we whent back to her house and whent with Beth and Tom to go to bells, we ended up at 3 of em, lol but it was all good. We got back home and i scaddadled. i came home to do a few things, then decided to go get krystina, and yeah, we ended up drivving around for awhile and i bought a new cd

Caught Up- ushhhhherrr
=]] all thanks to KrIs, heh.

and iv been dying to go to the movies and no one would go so i was liek FUCk it, i took krystina and Josh ended up goign to. we saw hide and seek it was a really good movie.
I got back to Dans areound 1040 and talked to him untill 11 and whent home, he said he was going to come over, for awhile. but i doubt it because its already almost 12. =[[

anywho, imma go lay down. so
goodnight ya'll

<33
ashh

i love you
Happy Anniversary
=]

2 dreamers | Lifes all about dreaming

:: 2005 30 January :: 8.50pm

hidey ho f-ckers!! whats new? well thursday was my govt regent and im not sure how i did, hopefully i passed but ya never know. i get my report card tomorrow anyhow -- im hella nervous!

anyways so thursday after school me and paul came home and ate some food, then we did some chores and headed over to carls house. we met up with carl, lauren, brio, todd, and duane. we all watched napolean dynamite and then a little bit of the perfect score. we all left around 9 and then i cmae home and did a few more chores and then went to laurens. we played zoo tycoon -- yes ZOO tycoon. then we watched dawn of the dead, had popcorn, cookies and milk. yummies! after that we passed out.

friday morning we had no school.. soo we got up around 11 and went to johnnys. after that we went and got some egg sandwiches and went back to my house. we played backyard baseball and then fucked around. at around 430 my uncle picked us up and me lovie rob and paul went to the movies. we saw hide and seek -- SICK ASS MOVIE i swearr! then afterwards the boys left n me and lovie stayed for alone in the dark, we had to dig up change to buy some nachos and a drink, we finally do and the nachos somehow spill all over me, cheese gets on my pants and i smell like cheese for the rest of the movie.. again we had to stick w/ my candycanes lol. alone in the dark was an okay movie, but not as good as the others. after that we got stranded at the movie theatre and then lovies mom came and got us and i went hom and went to bed.

saturday i woke up around 10, got a birthday card for my uncle and 2 thank u cards, one for jim, one for aunt pat, uncle juoe, rob and joey, and then 2 valentines day cards -- we wont say for who! lauren was with me. then i went back home and saw john, gave him the cards nad he did his job haha. after that my cousins robert and kristina came over, i taught kristina how to play texas holdem and then we played for a while, then watched holiday in the sun, and then me kris paul and rob played texas holdem again, 2 games. after that my aunt and uncle came back, we had pie and tea and then everyone left. i came downstairs cleaned a lil bit and went to bed.

today i woke up around 11 and my dad picked me up around 1. we got pizza and did some shoppin lookin for winter boots and thermals. the ones w/ crotches lol lauren. then i came home and watched two movies with my aunt! after that we had dinner, chinese food woot. and then i got online, talked to *jimmy for a little while and a few more other ppl, then started to update.

tomorrow we get our report cards and new schedules. wish me luck, ill need it.

how do u do this to me??

:: 2005 26 January :: 9.37pm

hmm? ? ?

welp, yesterday was first half of the english regent. it was okay i suppose. we had to listen to this guy read a long ass story and take notes and then write an essay on it, then the second essay was on a passage we read. after school yesterday i met up with lauren and we went to key food to get some ingredients so we could make a cake, after a few setbacks it came out good lol. we didnt have enough frosting tho so we had to haul ass to the superette to get some. we made it just in time haha. so the cake was good, then we just hung around til about 730 and me and paul brought lauren halfway home and had snowball fights haha, i was queen of the mound right laur!! lol then after that i got home, watched american idol n got online. talked to danny for a while, caught up on some stuff..did the usual and then went to bed.

today was the second half of the english regent, it sucked ass, i think i did terrible on it, but whatever. tomorrow is govt and im nervous as fuck. i feel like i dont know anything, im deff not gona do good on the thematic essay thats for damn sure. so today after school i went with lauren to cvs to get some candy, and then me her and paulie went and saw assault on precint 13. movie was ill as fuck. it was sooo good, thanks jim for the advice to go see it. we have such similar taste in movies. so we saw that and had a bunch of snowball fights again, n just farted around. really enjoyed the movie tho. when we got home we had dinner n then i started to study for govt. now im talkikn to ppl and makin plans for friday.

so far me, lauren, paulie, and rob are gonna go see hide and seek and then me and lauren are gonna stay later to see alone in the dark. granted, i really miss rob joe and jim and i hope to see them all soon. its like for a while they had movie marathon and now me n lovie got it goign on yeaa boyy! lol. but i really should get going, finish studyin n get some shut eye.

i FINALLY had a conversation with zach today. a real one! it wasnt a long one, but its ok cuz he was talkikn to brandi and thats understandable. i really am glad he's happy. i cant wait til i reach that point. im so happy for u and proud of u!

other then that miss u all and hope to see you guys soon. much love. ahh what do i get u guys for valentines day?!?! oie vei. wish me luck on my test tomorrow!

16 dreamers | Lifes all about dreaming

:: 2005 25 January :: 10.09pm
:: Mood: content

DO IT =] thanks for letting me borrow it hehe pwease?!
Am I
x. am i cute?
x. am i pretty?
x. am i crazy?
x. am i lovable?
x. am i funny?
x. am i annoying?
x. am i psycho?
x. am i a good person?

How Well Do You Know Me

x. when is my birthday?
x. who is my best friend?
x. who am i crushing on/dating?
x. favorite color?
x. favorite animal?
x. favorite song/songs?
x. favorite music groups?
x. what song would you dedicate to me?

Just A Few Questions

x. what do you love about me?
x. what do you hate about me?
x. what is my best quality?
x. do i remind you of any characters on tv?
x. have you ever had a dream about me?
x. if you could give me anything, what would it be?

Personal.
x. do you ever think about me offline?
x. if you described me in one word, what would it be?
x. do you/have you ever had a crush on me?
x. when we first met, what were your thoughts?
x. do you wish we were closer?
x. why aren't we closer?

What If I

x. kissed you .
x. hugged you
x. killed myself .
x. said i love you .
x. didnt want to be your friend .

1. What you HONESTLY think about me.
2. A weird thing about me.
3. What should i improve on?
4. Whats the worst thing about me
5. What your complete honest oppion of me?