how to deal with despair ... ?
[ ] = what i think this stands for

Konstantine ...

Him: I can't imagine all the people that you know
and the places that you go
when the lights are turned down low
and I don't understand all the things you've seen
but i'm slipping inbetween
you and your big dreams
[She's starting to believe that this thing could happen ... starting to imagine this outside of her dreams]
it's always you
in my big dreams
[it's always been a wish i know i couldnt have to him ... and he's moving on]

Me: and you tell me that it's over
[nothing can ever happen anymore]
wake up lying in a patch of four leaf clovers
[wake up and find herself in a world of what she hoped could be]
and your restless, and i'm naked
[and he's leaving, and she's helpless ... stranded]
you've gotta get out
you can't stand to see me shaking
[nothing's happening and it's not easy for him]
no
could you let me go?
[was it easy for him?]
I didn't think so
[she didn't think it would be]

and you don't wanna be here in the future
[she's not who he wants, he doesn't see any future with her]
so you say the present's just a pleasent interruption to the past
[this is all a little blot in time to him, he'll remember it but it was never anything big to him]
Him: and you don't wanna look much closer
[she's not so sure herself she wants to let him go]
cuz your afraid to find out all this hope
you had sent into the sky by now had crashed
[because she's afraid to learn that all she gave was for nothing now. everything she hoped for is gone and it's not coming back]
and it did
because of me
[because of him ...]


and then you bring me home
afraid to find out that you're alone
[and she doesn't let go because she doesn't want to be alone]
and i'm sleeping in your living room
but we don't have much room to live
[they're too big for each other, they're both two extreme people without room for each other]

Him:I had these dreams that i learned to play guitar
[and he does]
maybe cross the country
become a rock star
and there was hope in me that i could take you there
[but he never wanted to take her there]
but dammit you're so young
well i don't think i care
and if i hurt you
then i'm sorry
please don't think that this was easy
[but to her it seemed so easy for him ...]

then you bring me home
cuz we both know what it's like to be alone
[and he brings himself back for a moment because he doesnt want this hurt for me]
and i'm dreaming in your living room
[and he likes it here but its all just a dream ... there is bigger things outside of me]
but we don't have much room to live

and konstantine is walking down the stairs
doesn't she look good
standing in her underwear
and i was thinking
what i was thinking
we've been drinking and it doesn't get me anywhere
[in this case all these times we talked, we're in the same postition but he is father away]

my Konstantine came walking down the stairs
and all that i could do is touch her long blonde hair
[he's "attatched now" to his girlfriend, nothing can ever happen]
and i've been thinking
it hurts me thinking that these nights
when we were drinking no they never got us anywhere
no

Me: this is because i can spell konfusion with a "k" and i like it
[ she can sit here forever and not mind]
it's to dying in another's arms and why I had to try it
[she loved and lost and doesn't regret trying it]
it's to jimmy eat world and those nights in my car
[listening to the lyrics of the songs, learning how you relate to them]
when the first star you see may not be a star
[when your first love, isn't you're true love]
I'm not your star
[she isn't his true love]
isn't that what you said
[at least thats what he said]
what you thought this song meant
[it is what this song meant]

Him: and if this is what it takes
just to lie in my mistakes
[and if admitting this is what makes it easier for him]
and live with what i did to you
[and forgive himself for breaking this girls heart]
and all the hell I put you through
Me: I always catch the clock
it's 11:11
Him: and now you want to talk?
[it's too late, you spoke up too late]
it's not hard to dream
you'll always be my konstantine
[she'll always mean something to him]

Him: konstantine, they'll never hurt you like i do
[she'll find other guys, they won't break her like he did]
no they'll never hurt you like i do
no, no, no no no no no no

Him: this is to a girl who got into my head
with all the pretty things she did
[this song is to a girl, an awsome girl]
hey
you know
you keep me up in bed
[does he still think of her? i think he might still think of her]
this is to a girl who got into my head
with all the fucked up things i did
[yeah ... he fucked up]
hey
maybe
baby
you could keep me up in bed
[she might always mean something to him]
my Konstantine
spin around me like a dream we played out on this movie screen
[the drama of her loss, it was like a movie]
and i said
Me: did you know i missed you? [x7]
oh god i miss you

and then you bring me home
and we'll go to sleep, but this time, not alone, no no
[and she might bring him back, one last time]
and you'll kiss me in your living room
i know
you'll miss me in your living room
[she will miss him in her life]
cuz these nights i think maybe that i'll miss you in my living room
[and sometimes he might doubt his choice]
we don't have much room
i said does anybody need that room?
[does anybody really care if they're too big for each other? does it matter at all?]
because we all need a little more room
to live
[yeah ... and she has to move on]

my Konstantine

yeah ... i dunno it makes more sense to me because i feel it, i know it. somethings i didn't add in there for his sake and so i'll sing off this stupid computer before i regret this entry and erase it ... good-night. -lauren

YoU