dmlxoxo
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2004 18 December :: 2.58pm
i stole gabis questionaire because her post inspired me to do this so i can look back on it and see the change in myself later on in my woohuing days----
† name - danielle
† piercings - ears
† tattoos - 0
† height - 5'6''
† shoe size - 8
† hair color - brown
† length - longggg
† siblings - none
LAST
† movie you went to see -- after the sunset <3
† movie you bought - shrek 2
† song you listened to - look what you've done- jet
† song that was stuck in your head - for the love of money- o'jays
† cd you bought -i buy songs, not cds, but the last song i would have to say was girls not grey by afi
† cd you listened to - ipod....
† person you've called - john
† person that's called you - john
† tv show you've watched - pimp my ride
DO ..
† you have a bf or gf - no
† you have a crush on someone - totally crushin
† you wish you could live somewhere else - thats tough, i think we all do sometimes, but i dont know if i would go as far as to say YES I WANT TO MOVE
† you think about suicide - never
† you want more piercings - yes, my carteledge
† you drink - nah
† you do drugs - nope
† you smoke - of course not
† you like roller coasters - u have to push me to get on one but once im on im in loveee
† you carry a donor card - nope, too young
FOR OR AGAINST ..
† long distance relationships - for
† teenage smoking - AGAINST
† premarital sex - for
† driving drunk - against
† gay/lesbian relationship - for, i just wrote my persuasive essay on this haha
† soap operas - i dont watch but i dont see y not
FAVORITE ..
† food - PASTAAA
† song - black balloon- goo goo dolls
† sports - skiing biatch
† drinks - diet coke with no ice and a slice of lime :)
† clothes - ones that accent your best features
† band/singer - thats a toughie....ill just say jack johnson and oasis so i have something to write here
† holiday - christmas----says the jew haha
† new nerdy saying - what the crap
NUMBER ..
† of times I have been in love? - possibly once, but i dont know
† of times I have had my heart broken? - too many for my liking
† of drugs taken illegally? - zippo
† of people I would classify as true, could trust with my life type friends? - i couldnt say
† of people I consider my enemies? - enemy? no one
† of times my name has appeared in the newspaper? - no idea, but its been in there a bunch of times
† of scars on my body? - too many to count---i used to fall alot as a kid haha
† of things in my past that I regret? - a lot of stuff, but everything happens for a reason and i think that everyone looks back on their past and says to themselves: "if i could do it again differently i would do this this and this...." every once in a while
DO YOU THINK YOU ARE ..
† handsome/pretty - i guess i have a good self image
† funny - yeah but in a stupid way lol
† friendly --yes, very
† amusing - sometimes
† ugly - depends on the day
† loveable - yeah
† pessimistic - sometimes
† optimistic - sometimes
† dorky - i can be
† spell your first name back wards - elleinad
† the story behind your user name - my initials+kiss+hug+kiss+hug
+are you straight - yes
† where do you live - e-mont, ny
† four words that sum you up - understanding, sensitive, hopeless romantic, enthusiastic
DESCRIBE YOUR -
† wallet - grayish blue kipling wallet
† toothbrush - blue oral-b
† pillow cover - blue with flowerish things
† blanket - colorful
† coffee cup - i dont have oneee
† sunglasses - expensive titanium maui jims that my dad got for me since he used to sell them in his store and hes all concerned with having good sunglasses to "protect your eyes, but if u lose them i pry the eyes out of ur head"
† shoes - im a sneaker fiend
† CD in stereo right now - none
† what you are wearing now - PJ's
WHO or WHAT (was/is/are) -
† you wishing - lots
† after this - shower, watch tv
† something you're looking forward to in this upcoming month - new years, and skiing
† something that you are deathly afraid of - NEEDLES
† do you like candles - yes
† do you like hot wax - its fun to play with lol
† do you like incense - nah its too smelly
† do you like the taste of blood- noooooo
† do you believe in love - of course
† do you believe in soul mates - everyone's got one
† do you believe in love at first sight - yes
† do you believe in forgiveness - yes
† do you believe in God - couldnt tell you
† what do you want done with your body when you die - just a casket
† who is your worst enemy - my conscience
† if you could have any animal for a pet--a chocolate lab named lola
† what is the latest you've ever stayed up - 6
† what are 5 cities you wouldn't mind relocating to - nyc, san francisco and idk where else
† what are some of your favorite pig out foods - chips, ice cream, cookies, CHOCOLATE, u name it, i love it lol
† what's something that you wish people would understand - me
† what's something you wish you could understand better - why stuff happens
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dmlxoxo
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2004 16 December :: 8.40pm
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goobs827
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2004 15 December :: 5.07pm
:: Mood: bouncy
:: Music: nfg~friends over you (haha the irony)
i'd still pick my friends over you...
my journal is now
FRIENDS ONLY
-not to be paranoid, but i'll be able to write a lot more openly without thinking about the endless possibilities of who's reading-
<3
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dmlxoxo
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2004 7 December :: 8.01pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: sunday bloody sunday- u2
fun quiz cuz i got nothin better to doooo
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dmlxoxo
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2004 28 November :: 6.36pm
:: Mood: hurting
:: Music: nice to meet you anyway- gavin degraw
its amazing how something that barely exists can affect you so much. one minute, im sitting here, on a natural high, my heart absolutely soaring, and within one split second my heart deflated, the stupid smile wiped from my face, and i felt like i had just been punched in the stomach. that feeling of being...robbed of happiness. the feeling of having every hope that u ever had be snatched from your mind. when you have that knot in your stomach, and those tears in your eyes, but theres something blocking them from breaking through- and you cant quite get that knot to untangle itself, you just sit there, and time freezes in this freeze frame that captures every horrible aspect of the situation. the moment just lingers on, dragging out the pain and replaying the situation over and over again as if to make you suffer and intensify the problem. and you want to cry, u feel the tears building up inside of you, and you try so hard to make them well over, as a sigh of relief, to rid yourself of the situation through tears- but they wont come. and you just sit with this ache deep in the core of your body, and you question what this feeling is. and i can tell you. the feeling is heartbreak.
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canthandleit
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2004 28 November :: 4.36pm
FRiEnDs OnLy <33
my journal is friends only for now
*LoTs oF LoVe* <3
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dmlxoxo
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2004 13 November :: 12.43am
:: Mood: curious
:: Music: all that ive got- the used
ill be just fine, pretending im not, im far from lonely and its all that ive got.......
god, how i wish that were true. charlie, jimmy. jimmy, charlie. it never seems to end. before i really knew charlie, i decided that i liked him and i told him that i did. that was by far one of the stupider things ive done within the past few months. over the part few nights of sitting in my bed in a pitch black room in a state of contemplation, i've come to the conclusion that at this point in my life, my heart is at one of the most vulnerable states it has ever been in. before i went into the city last friday, i was absolutely determined to find soemone out of my selection of nicks friends, and out of this determination, as much as i hate to admit it, came this tide of desperation. jimmy was the only one out of nicks friends that i had met before, and all of the rest of them i was getting to know as the weeks led up to my visit to the city. i think that the fact that i didnt know charlie was tempting to me. the curiosity of getting to know him drew me in, and once nick convinced me that he was the one i was going to fall for, and explained to me that he was the chillest kid ever, i convinced myself that he was 'the one', and stupidly, letting my vulnerable heart lead the way, to some degreee, came out and told charlie that he was the one i wanted. what i didnt really know though, and came to learn, was that charlies chillness was the one thing that makes me think we're not for eachother. in talking to one of his good friends, i realized yet another thing that i look for subconciously in a guy. passion. while charlie is very very "chill", hes almost so chill that he shows no emotion at all. when i talk to him, i feel like i have nothing to say, because the reactions i get are "Oh" or "cool" or "yeah". it makes me feel like hes indifferent, and while i liked laid back people, i need someone who believes strongly about certain things, even if i dont agree with them. i do find, however, that i know someone who is one of the most passionate people, and interestingly enough, is passionate about the same things i am.
the most important thing i learned though, is that sometimes what youre looking for is right in front of your face, and sometimes, you just need to make a few mistakes before you realize what you could be passing up. i was looking through my past woohus before and i came across the one i wrote after my josh brower fiasco. in it i described my soul mate, someone i know that i cant look for because ill be cheating myself if im looking for someone that i wont find for a while, but i did realize that i found someone who posseses almost every one of the qualities i listed in that post, for this particular point in my life. last weekend, while i was babysitting, i was sitting online talking to jimmy, and all of a sudden, he just says: "i know this is awkward, but i know i i can tell you anything, and i have to let you know, so here it goes:" and he went on to tell me that he thinks im great and that he really really likes me. aside from the part where he really really likes me, he said that he felt that he could tell me anything. that made me smile so big that i looked like i slept with a hanger in my mouth the night before. i need that. i need to find someone that i can talk to for hours on end about the stupidest little nothings, or the hugest problems in our lives that are hard to share with people- and i found a certain level of comfort with jimmy that i havent found with someone in a really long time. i didnt have it with morgan and i most certainly didnt have it with mike or aaron. but jimmy will tell me how he feels about me, and to me that says something.
i know what i want. i know what i need to do, but because im so vulnerable, i told charlie last week that i liked him. and now, i cant take it back just like that. im struggling with where i need to go from here. do i do what makes me happy? or do i keep my word and give charlie a chance? why do i dig these endless holes of unkept promises and lies to make myself feel better? ive come to realize that i do this because i use these unfair tactics to create this surreal feeling of love that ive been lacking and searching for....but im getting sick of pretending. i want the real deal. but thats not even the issue anymore, because i have the chance to get it- the question is: how?
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dmlxoxo
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2004 10 November :: 10.22pm
:: Mood: contemplative
:: Music: here is gone
one of my hippie rants, but i need to get this off my chest
”see, when you and i hear about some misery out there, it might make us feel bad for a while, but it doesnt wreck our whole world. its like we have a built in protection around our hearts that keeps the pain from overwhelming us. but may, she doesnt have that. everything just comes into her- all the suffering out there-and she feels as if its happening to her. she cant tell the difference."
-The Secret Life of Bees, Sue Monk Kidd
today i was sitting in euro and we were learning about the enlightenment and all of the people who wrote significant documents of the time and stuff, and we came across this one called "common sense" by baron d'holbach. common sense: it seems so- easy. you would expect to read it and see that it was about a concept that would be easy to grasp...but as we read on, it was about something i have such strong feelings for, yet i am constantly challenged about.
"to annihilate religious prejudices it would be sufficient to show that what is inconceivable to man cannot be of any use to him. does it need, then, anything but simple common sense to percieve that a being most clearly irreconcilable with the notions of mankind, that a cause continually opposed to the effects attributed to him...."
after reading this today in euro, it reminded me of exactly why i feel this way, and it saddened me at the same time because all of the reasons that i felt this way resurfaced. tolerance. its funny how 9 little letters can form something so powerful- it seems so, simple, yet the world has yet to achieve it. religion, race, color. whatever the difference may be- thats exactly what it is. its a difference. and while we should all look past these differences, the harder some people try, it seems that the distinctions become bolder and clearer. this concept makes me feel depressed, and the quote that i opened with is how i feel right now. i feel like i could cry for the world. i feel like the burdens and problems of the world and the worlds people have been shot into my heart, and the intolerance and the hatred has just been killing me.
i know that so many people disagree with this, but i think that organized religion is stupid and hurtful. every religion thinks theyre superior to all of the rest of the religions, and once you have superiority issues (in anything, not only religion), you have fighting, and violence, and bloodshed. look at everything going on in the world now. the jews and the palestinians, iraq and the united states, as well as wars in the past, the holocaust, september 11th: it all comes down to one question
why can't we all just get along?
every second that i sit here and think about how our country is attempting to police the world right now, the one word that i think of is "superiority" and how bush has instilled that idea in the heads of many american people during his last term. we are not superior. there is no such thing as superior, and the fact that the united states has such a jaded mentality makes me almost ashamed to be an american- because to the rest of the world, we're all like that, and i wish i could show everyone that thinks we're wrong that not all of us are ignorant powerhungry non-compassionate people. we're all equal. its part of what we're supposed to stand for, and im finding that right now, we dont.
i hate living in a world where its constant competition, and not to sound beauty pagent cliche, but i wish there was world peace. and knowing that that is something that we can strive for for the rest of eternity, and never achieve is very- disappointing to me.
"we shall always see evil, imperfections, and follies resulting from a cause claimed to be full of goodness, perfections, and of wisdom"-d'holbach
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goobs827
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2004 9 November :: 8.58pm
In the name of all that is good and holy...
Oh. My. God. This guy is mentally ill.
(i know i've been posting a lot of random shit lately but i'm enjoying myself)
:)
last one for the night promise
one tree hill time!
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goobs827
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2004 9 November :: 8.48pm
:: Music: spice girls-stop (was watching behind the music today...great stuff)
caught in a craze, it's just a phase, or will this be around forever?
"It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in the spring, when everything else begins again, and it blooms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone. You count on it, rely on it to buffer the passage of time, to keep the memory of sunshine and high skies alive, and then just when the days are all twilight, when you need it most, it stops."
-- A. Bartlett Giamatti
wahhh, I miss baseball!!
though that's what this quote was intended to talk about, I feel like it can apply to so many other things too...many confusing, hard things we're all going through right now.
hang in there guys..
i love you all and i love talking to you all...thanks for keeping me going
<3
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dmlxoxo
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2004 8 November :: 4.12pm
:: Mood: pensive
ive been holding off on writing an entry until i found a reason or had something to write about, but i found that i was dragging it out too long- so i'll just write. so basically heres what ive been up to lately.
on friday i went into the city to hang out with one of my best friends from fire island, nick, and some of his friends. i took the train in and met them all at grand central station, and on the way there i was nervous the entire time, which i thought was bizarre because nick and i were so close this summer, i had nothing to be nervous about. i swear that the minute i saw him standing there, all of this excitment got stirred up in my heart, and i jumped and hugged him so tight. just when i had started to distance myself from the "summer obsession", i was reminded of why it had been so hard for me to do so. i remembered all of the memories, smiles, tears, dilemmas, heartbreaks, problems and every other aspect of life that we shared during the summer...and realzied that the reason they were so special was because of just that: we shared them. what made you smile made me happy, what made you cry made tears well up in my eyes- thats just how close we became, and i was reminded of all those things just by having nick within my line of vision. i spent the night hanging out in the city with his friends, who over the past weeks through talking to them and then finally getting to hang out with them, came to love and enjoy the company of each of them. in one of them [who i had met before], i found an amazing, caring person, who loves to listen, loves to talk, and most of all, cares about me. we can talk about anything, from the most serious problems, to the stupidest little stories, but no matter what it is, i find that i can always count on him to listen. in another, i found the guy with the most beautiful eyes, and a potential love in the future- but we'll see how that works out. and in the last, i found a guy who knows how to entertain me anytime, or correct me, whatever the case may be. basically to sum it up, i made 3 great new friends this weekend, who are really great each in their own way, and if this year goes as planned, i hope that these friendships will grow, because i think that having these guys as friends in my life could be a really good thing for me- one of the best i could really ask for right now at this point in time.
in other news, today in school we were informed that mr. smith passed away last night due to pneumonia, as well as a variety of other ailments. although mr. smith didnt really touch any of the lives of the kids in my grade, specifically, i know that he has affected kids in the grades ahead of me, and it was a very sad day for edgemont as a result of that. despite the fact that he retired this year from his position as principal, it never really sank in that he was gone- and now hes NEVER coming back. our grade will never be named. it was so hard today seeing mrs. shirken cry. the ice woman, the shirkenator, showing emotion...thats when it felt the most real. they flew the flags of every nation above the breezeways today and flew the american flag at half staff. although i dont feel like ive lost mr. smith as a person, i feel like our grade has lost the chance to get to know him, because from what i gather, he affected the lives of so many kids that came before us. so, on behalf of the sophomores of 2004-2005, we will remain "the class without a name", but along with that title comes a certain sadness, at least to me, because your absence will weigh heavy on our hearts and no doubt, will affect our high school years.
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goobs827
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2004 8 November :: 3.50pm
:: Music: mandy moore-were dancing (centerstage)
Found another one!
This one's a little bit funnier though.
I'll admit it took me a minute to actually get it (I just thought it was the U.S. and Canada)
Well, enjoy
<3, woohu's little angry democrat (and danielle of course)
1 Comment |
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goobs827
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2004 7 November :: 10.17pm
the above is a map of all the states/regions before the civil war that were for/opposed to slavery. It appears nearly identical to the electoral map of the 2004 presidential election.
Red or Brown=for slavery (Bush)
Green=against slavery (Kerry)
a little bizarre...
a lot scary
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nugenta3
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2004 7 November :: 6.01pm
this is she
To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow; a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
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dmlxoxo
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2004 3 November :: 3.53pm
:: Mood: crushed
i still had a drop of hope left....
today is a day of mourning for the united states of america. george w. bush was elected president this afternoon, and this is one of the scariest moments i have ever lived through...honest to god. i have been on the verge of tears today at least 5 times, because i keep on feeling like at that moment that kerry pulled out of the race, all hope was lost of ever fixing this mess that bush created in his last 4 years in office. rather than feeling protected by my governemnt and the president, i feel like theyve put me and the country in harms way and feel in danger rather than in a state of saftey. im not going to get into this really as deeply as i feel i could, for the sake of my own sanity and as a way of preventing myself from reaching my breaking point...but id like to take a second to apologize to all of the people on behalf of the worst thing thats happened to america in a long time- "president" bush-that have been or will be hurt by his campaign. for every gay or lesbian person out there, im sorry. im sorry you have been denied the right to live as a "normal" human being would. you, just as every other person in the united states of america deserve the right to marriage, because nothing, not even the bible, should be able to come in the way of love. for every paralized person who couldve been saved by stem cell research, im sorry. and to every girl who has ever been raped or has had sex with a defective condom and ends up having an unwanted baby, im sorry.
well, it was your choice. another term full of "nucular weapons", "internetS", and more "groups of folks". america, welcome to the next four years.
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