Well, today was pretty busy...and tomorrow isn't looking much better...I'm getting over loaded...*sigh*

After school, Carmen and Doug came over, and we fooled around for awhile...that was fun...and then my day went downhill...majorly...I went to work for 2 hours, and then I went the PSEOP orientaion...biggest waste of my time...and (mostly) everybody's parents came along...mine didn't...yeah...after the orientation, I went to band, for about an hour and a half...yeah, that was a hoot...not at all...Mr. Headley was in a pissy mood, and we didn't get much accomplished...states aren't looking so good...after band, I went by Carmen's and sat with her for awhile...got plenty of hugs from her, and then returned home for dinner...grilled cheese...yum...

asiagirl1987: how was the interview?
Ruinach: she decided not to do it and we left
asiagirl1987: are you seriosu?!
asiagirl1987: oh my gosh
Ruinach: no
Ruinach: lol
Ruinach: it went fine
asiagirl1987: i wanna kill you so bad right now

My groupmates love eachother...

Quote of the day:
"so, so you think you can tell
heaven from hell,
blue skys from pain.
can you tell a green field
from a cold steel rail?
a smile from a veil?
do you think you can tell?

and did they get you to trade
your heros for ghosts?
hot ashes for trees?
hot air for a cool breeze?
cold comfort for change?
and did you exchange
a walk on part in the war
for a lead role in a cage?

Well, today was alright...I was a bit more comprehending during the day...Amanda had her pictures developed...they were nice...and I had a good, clean prom night, unlike the 2 friends of mine who decided to be dirty little whore...and the other 2 who decided to be recipients of said whores...yeah...

Quote of the day:
"We should have been
so much more by now
Too dead inside
to even know the guilt"

Well, Saturday night was great fun...Amanda looked great, indeed her dress was perfect, and she definetly an extremely fun date to take to a dance...I got to dance with almost everybody I wanted to (except Laura, as I couldn't find her); Amanda, Carmen (who looked very pretty, by the way), Britt, Megan, and Lauren Clark...also (kinda) danced with Mrs. Anthony and G-Dawg...next time, I will need to get inserts for my shoes, so they do not kill my feet...or rip up my ankle...I snatched a fiber-obtic dealy-thing for my house! woo!

After-Prom was fun also...swam with Carmen and Esther, and sat the in the hot tub with them and some others...got a t-shirt, and watched the rigged raffle...hehe, silly rigged raffle...

Went to Carmen's after After-Prom...and I am glad that I did (even more so, strengthened more about 20 minutes ago)...since there were way too many people in the family/T.V. room, Carmen, Joshie, Kat, and I slept in the living room...we talked about random things (mainly His Holiness, the Owl God) and made fun of Josh's hyper-activity...fell asleep around 6...that was about 22 hours for me...so close to 24...hehe...

After I left Carmen's (around 1 o'clock), I took my tux back, and got some breadsticks at Luca's...I came home, relaxed, and then went back out...Carmen and I went to go fill out my time card...I came home, was extremely awesome at GunBound, and then went to look at pictures at Carmen's...eventually went home for dinner, and then back to Carmen's, then to Bassoon lessons...All-State is looking Achievable this year...Yay!

Today was pretty much blah...felt like shit...work was shit...hung out with Carmen afterward...picked up a Cars cd later on, and then came home...yeup...

Quote of the day:
"life's the same i'm moving in stereo
life's the same except for my shoes
life's the same you're shaking like tremolo
life's the same it's all inside you
it's so easy to blow up your problems
it's so easy to play up your breakdown
it's so easy to fly through a window
it's so easy to fool with the sound
it's so tough to get up
it's so tough
it's so tough to live up
it's so tough on you"

Well, I started to update last night, but shut down before I finished (because I forgot)...

(Wednesday) School had gotten better, as people returned to their normal moods...which is a good thing, because it is best not to dwell on such an event...in french, we started the verb tests...I didnt pass the first one, because I screwed up the imperitive form of donner...the rest of school was alright...Carmen, Kat, and Natalie (I believe) had visiting Ukrainian girls with them...I hope they got a good impression of our school, not a sterotypical one...

After school, I had cake, and then went home...I went to work at normal time...both Carmen and Amanda came to visit me, which was nice...Kristin made sure Amanda was fit for me to take to prom...I guess she passed the inspection...

After work, I came home, ate dinner, and then went to get my tux...I also got sandels while I was there...on the way home, my dad and I stopped by the Pharm to look for arch supports for my dress shoes...couldn't find them due to my feet being so damn large...I went over to Carmen's for awhile, but she wanted to spend time with Darya, so I left and was home before curfew...I played some GB, and then went to bed, talking to Carmen along the way...

Today was alright also...not too much happened...started making our balloons in chem...I'll be alone tomorrow because Ian is leaving to go visit Miami...slept through most of AS today...yeah...right after school, I had orchestra, which lasted until 3:45...I ran home to pick up my phone, and then went to work...had about an hour long meeting with Mrs. East...then I went and worked...because I had nothing to look forward to at home (except a lonesome dinner) I stuck around until 7:30...on the way home, I passed by the funeral home, definitely a sad sight...people were lined out the door and halfway down the block, cars lining wooster street and filling the old subway station...people were walking away from the funeral home in tears...

...Yeah...

At home, I ate dinner with the company of my GBA and Samus, my bitch...kicked some space pirate ass, we did...and that was about the rest of my night...I also practiced bassoon, and ended up very, very angry with it...yeah...

Well, bassoon went well...and that was about the only thing that went well today...oh, and the few call I got from Carmen, updating me on her status...she is currently in Pennsylvania, coming back home from the march in D.C. a march aobut womens' rights, something I support fully...what she is doing is very good...women have the right to choose what goes on in their bodies...

Saturday also sucked a lot for me...let me categorize:

Good Events:

-Going out to lunch with Carmen (and having it cost $7.23 or whatever)
-Paying with a $10 bill and leaving the rest for tip
-Going up to Maumee Gateway to watch our siblings at S&E
-Seeing Kristin up at Maumee (and finding out why I didn't work with her)
-Spending time with Carmen before she left for D.C.
-Playing Vice City at Ian's

Bad Events:

-Working (especially so without Kristin)
-Getting yelled at for not helping prepare my BIRTHDAY DINNER
-Getting yelled at for not setting the table for my BIRTHDAY DINNER
-Having no one come over for my BIRTHDAY DINNER (although both Carmen and my aunt have legitiment reasons for why they didn't make it)
-Being blown off not only once, but twice on the same movie by the same group

Yeup...see, Saturday mainly sucked...

As for now, I'm fretting over my artwor, that I don't think it'll be up to standard and I'll glop out totally on it...I went to the Edinburgh meeting, which was alright, got homework done while I was there...other than that...bleh...

...And plus, I'm getting ill...

Quote of the day:
"There's no time to lose, I heard her say
Catch your dreams before they slip away
Dying all the time
Lose your dreams
And you will lose your mind.
Ain't life unkind? "

Last night, I returned into town around 8:00, after having eaten at Joe's Crabshack...I hooked up with Carmen, and then went rollerblading downtown...after that, with many failed attempts, we made copies in her father's office, copies of the script for her one act play, 4 A.M....I'm looking forward to seeing it put on by her, Doug, Esther, and Jackie (I believe, or Emily)...I set up my speaker system, which sounds amazing, to say the least...

Today was the first day back, and everybody was either cranky or tired, or both...well, not everybody, those who somehow manage to readjust instantly to the school life...*sigh*...started ready The Great Gatsby which isn't seeming to be all that bad...I gave Dana a ride home from school, and we had a nice conversation about sticks...

I had been planning on rollerblading to work today, but the wind was so powerful that I would have died...work sucked, spent all 3 hours in the stacks, had no visitors (due to fatigue), little contact with anybody at all...it is my job though, so I guess I shouldn't complain...and Brenda did shelve a couple picture books today, so I don't have so many waiting for me...

After work, I went home and ate all alone, becuase my family doesn't wait for me...after eating alone, I went with daniel to make some money by moving furniture...after that, we went to Home Depot to get a clasp for his hose in his engine...Carmen and Esther came and picked me up, and then we went to go get Doug...after that, we went to Meijer, to get candy and so Carmen could visit Bob...we went back to her house to watch Anastasia until Doug and my curfews...I came home, played GunBound and listened to the Glorious Burden...

Quote of the day:
"There's something solid forming in the air,
The wall of death is lowered in Times Square.
No-one seems to care,
They carry on as if nothing was there.
The wind is blowing harder now,
Blowing dust into my eyes.
The dust settles on my skin,
Making a crust I cannot move in
And I'm hovering like a fly, waiting for the windshield on the freeway."

Look at the time! I can't fucking sleep! Where the FUCK is everybody? I thought it would be bustling at this time...no? Only my rotten self? Heh, figures...can't seem to do well anymore...oh well...everybody else is probably asleep...*sigh*...well, wish me luck...I need sleep...okay? stupid thing...brain likes thinking...imagine that...hmm...trying to figure out how to help myself out...bleah! Good bye...if anyone reads this before 8, gimme a call...fat chance though...blah!

Ramble ramble ramble...

Bleagh!! Food!! I have wrinkly-things under my FUCKING eyes!

BOOBOO!!!

E to the step, just flip it, stick it, and see-ya later, bye!

I don't think you can do that

You better bring it...

*sigh* how I miss you guys...

I'm so lonely...

and I'm very warm right now...

maybe I'll get sick...

That wouldn't be good...

Miss work another day...

Shit, those books...

Are going to...

Be piled up...

To my head...

Maybe I'll drown in the paper...

Or the sea of books...

Quote of the day:
"What is that light
That you have
Shining all around you
Is it chemically derived?"

Today was good...went shopping this morning around 12...I woke up around 11:30, mainly because Carmen and I were on the phone till 5...anyways, my aunt and uncle and I went shopping to get me birthday presents...got me a pair of K2 rollerblades, and then a really nice pair of computer speakers...I also picked up vol. of Excel Saga, so Carmen and I are going to have to watch that sometime soon...we came home, and then hung out for awhile...did some homework until I got ready to leave...we went to a japanese restaurant for dinner, I got some good sushi...after that, I went to symphony, which was excellent...we came home, watched Predator...I called Carmen, but she was at Emily's and I didn't want to intrude on her happy times...she'll call me back, and that is what I'm currently waiting on...

I'm still not feeling any better about myself...if anything, it has gotten worse...I need something to boost my self-esteem or something bad is going to happen...

*Sigh*

Quote of the day:
" Red is my favorite color, red like your mother’s eyes after awhile of crying about how you don’t love her."

So yeah...slept through my alarm today...woke up at about twenty of 10:00...showered and then went to work...work was alright, I took my Nomad in with me, so I could listen to music...I wasn't planning on it, but I heard a Rammstein song on the way to work that made me want to listen to more music...Carmen visited me today at work, which was quite nice...

After work, I went and picked up my stuff from Coomes, and then went to get my sister...after I got home, I pitched to Daniel, and hit some too...it was fun...then, I went to pick up Carmen, and then went to get gas and air...after awhile, we went with Esther to Kroger to shop for their camping trip...saw Sara there, and she looked so enthused to see me...I said hi...at checkout, we got the honor of having both Karly and Tracy both being baggers for us...Carmen and I went to dinner at my house, and then to Joe's after that...Liz(z), Joe, Matt Ducat, Dan, Ryan, and Samir were there...Ryan really wanted to see Fear and Loathing, so we ran around to find a copy...we ended up not watching it, and went to visit Doug at McSuck with Esther...we caused trouble there...then, we went back to Carmen's and watched Cirque du Soleil...fun day...

Prom's coming up...I've been weighing either asking Amanda or Lauren Clark to prom...I'm not too sure what I'm going to do, but it seems that I have a time limit on Amanda...although, I don't really see a problem in being asked to prom by someone who'd really want to go with me...

I have realized that aside from Carmen and Amanda, I've not had a visit from either of the two people who told me they'd visit me this week...

Quote of the day:
"I will not cease from mental fight;
Nor shall my sword sleep in my hand
Til we have built
In England's green and pleasant land."