cutlip
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2004 6 November :: 3.55am
:: Mood: crushed
:: Music: you'rethewaveyou'rethewaveyou'rethewave
.//The blushing gashes press together. The lips of the cut cease to kiss. And the razor seperates the lovers.
Where.thefuck.
...Did I let myself end up?
myxomatosis
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cutlip
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2004 5 November :: 12.12am
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: mondaymonday.x.mamas and the papas
anyotherway|anyotherday
i return to bushland sundaysunday[lalaaaaaaaaa, lalalala] can't trust that day. maybe this time they won't FUCKUPMYFLIGHT. & won't go haha mea chinesea man, sranty eyes ahaaaa, eeta dog to supporta famiree.
..because the truth is, i lack a |proper| family & it don't matter what i eat. but i do eat anything i don't have to cook or catch.
i'm going to go bang my head against a wall and start calling the construction workers fucking morons. they don't understand english very well. how's that for-a funnee chinesea man, HARRUUUUUUUUUUUU!?11
myxomatosis
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cutlip
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2004 26 October :: 7.38pm
:: Mood: sore
:: Music: whitebrzzzzzzz
.mangled[andiguessijusthaven'tgotthe]guts.
just..reopened the hole for my tonguering. bymyself, that is.
i tried to take a picture of the hole, of [the blood] and nearly passed out. shock[andsurprise]isuppose. what the fuck happened to the person who used to stick his thumb in someone's heart? wipe away blood from gashes to put in lastminute stitches? laugh and tell people to be calm, becalmplease, stop crying?
i don't ever remember hearing my heartbeat so fast. it grew like a pain over my chest and i only heard.saw.felt. whitenoise. everywhere. i thought i was having a heart attack.
iguesstheywon. i lose.
i don't think i've ever felt worse about admmmitting to defeat.
2 in |
myxomatosis
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cutlip
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2004 22 October :: 6.28pm
:: Mood: infuriated
:: Music: and i think to myself----
.[whatta]wonderfulworld.
you know that [sound[noise[feeling] when you scratch dry skin? it wouldn't be a question if i were sure of myself. but this is more for myself to recordrewingandreflect because i sure as hell won't be this calm again.notforawhile.
i *just* found out the man who my ex-fiance[e] is living with purposefully fucked things up between us. and poured bad to[into] her. and this.andthat.and.
soithink.when i come home./with my knives\. i will kill him. and go back to malaysia. and never feel the [hearse]worse for it. and never step foot in this fucking cuntree again. the funnyfunnyhaha thing is that i never expect to get charged with murder. he's a waste of breath and i fucking intend on taking it away from him.
bigwords. less than two weeks until i'm back in the states. let's see how well i do.
myxomatosis
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cutlip
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2004 19 October :: 2.01am
:: Mood: busy
:: Music: breakingmybackjusttoknowyourname
rushin-arushin-arushin-arouuuuund
palmitches=moneysoon?
that would be nice.
headache. this headache is brought to you by GUESSWHO. hivile. youvilevile.
ssssssssssssssssssssssss.
i miss working as an EMT. malaysia is so differingring-rent from americuh and just. wow. fuck. it's so fucking busy here. i don't think anybody believes me about my heritage/profession/voice/etcetera but. grandma's sick, it's a fairy tale of the only grandson who inherits the fortune. the grandson is not, however, supposed to go to malaysia and tell people to stop conn[ive]ing him out of money.
my name is art. but i'm artistically challenged.
i wish i could draw Vile as I see him. a nagha with littlelittlearms and blades for hands. a beaklike mouth with longblacktongue. spines going down his back like a mane to the snaketail. allwhite with pink stripes and beadyredeyes.
ohgod. i love [&hate] him so. i see the tail and want it to twist around me until i suffocate.
myxomatosis
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